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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted January 20, 2004 05:04 AM |
bonus applied. |
Edited By: Hexa on 20 Jan 2004
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To My Dear Wife
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbours would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
KEEP READING.......
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TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat 
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times it was sore because you masturbated too much
33 times you prematurly ejaculated
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you blew it while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted  and I was trying to breathe. 
Edit by Hexa: QP applied .. nice one!@ 
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pietjebell
Promising
Known Hero
positive
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posted January 20, 2004 06:34 PM |
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nice smilies!!
Took 4ever 2 write this 1?
Or was it just a matter of CTRL + C & CTRL + V
Copy & paste for computer illiterates 
like so: 
Liked the story tho..
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frostwolf
Famous Hero
livin' in a bottle of vodka
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posted January 20, 2004 09:09 PM |
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LOL!
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What can you expect from a world where everybody lives because they're too afraid to commit suicide?
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RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
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posted January 21, 2004 04:48 AM |
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I was considering a QP as well. You've made several funny threads lately. Good work.
Edit: Dragon Slayer is the poster of the month.
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Go Red Sox!
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted February 02, 2004 03:48 AM |
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Me, Poster of the month??? Well im flattered, thanks RSF!
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Dingo
Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
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posted February 02, 2004 03:52 AM |
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But Hexa gave you the Qp...
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The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted February 02, 2004 04:22 AM |
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Ok, thanks RSF for informing me of poster of the month. Thanks Hexa for applying the qp. There, ya happy?
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LordOfDeath
Hired Hero
of the Dark knights
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posted December 29, 2005 02:43 PM |
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Congratulations dragon slayer
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted December 30, 2005 07:43 AM |
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LMAO classic stuff DS, so very true indeed.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted July 29, 2006 12:10 PM |
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Vlaad
Admirable
Legendary Hero
ghost of the past
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posted July 29, 2006 12:17 PM |
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Quote:
Wow, you got a red star for this one too.
this one is all over the internet
Foggy, you should know that in the good old days QPs were applied for funny copy-pasted stuff too.
I don't remember when the mods decided to stop it, though.
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