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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Scary (?) Stories
Thread: Scary (?) Stories
Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted September 24, 2003 11:29 PM bonus applied.
Edited By: Kittenangel on 26 Sep 2003

Scary (?) Stories

Post your "horror" stories here. Here's a fine example made by me and my bro...

The Scary Story

Narrator:
Once upon a time there was Jacques McBuraque, the duke of Zoltan. He lived with his beloved wife, 25 years older than himself, in a beautiful cottage.

Someday, an evil demon gained control over the wife. Jacques shouted:

Jacques:
Exorcist! My kingdom for an exorcist!

Exorcist:
You called?

Jacques:
My beloved wife, Gizvelga, is behaving rather scary. She watches Teletubbies everyday and talks about death and decay…

Narrator:
Remember kids. Brush your teeth at least twice a day.

Jacques:
Will you let me finish?

Narrator:
Oops, sorry.

Exorcist:
Can Gizvelga be seen by moi?

Narrator:
It is good to know that French were the best exorcists back then. Our exorcist comes from France, which explains that “moi”.

Jacques:
I thought I told you to keep out of the conversation!

Narrator:
All right, all right already! Calm down, man…
Jacques and the exorcist go to Gizvelga’s room.

Jacques:
Knock, knock.

Gizvelga:
Buck off. I’m watching my Teletubbies!

Exorcist:
Do we need her to open the door for us? I mean do you have some sort of key?

Jacques:
Er…

Narrator:
Jacques, just open the damned door!

Exorcist:
Damned door? That’ll cost you extra.

Narrator:
They came into the room.

Exorcist:
Can you turn off the TV?

Jacques:
OK…

Gizvelga:
I wanna Teletubbies!!! Damn you!!!

Exorcist:
snow.

Gizvelga:
Nah, I’m not hungry… The end is coming! May your corpses rot under a giant pile of fertilizer!!!

Jacques:
Eh?

Exorcist:
Who are you?

Gizvelga:
Supa Dupa Monkey Troopa... And who are you?

Exorcist:
I don’t believe you. Who are you?

Gizvelga:
I asked you first.

Exorcist:
You didn’t

Gizvelga:
No you didn’t

Narrator:
Will you stop arguing

Gizvelga:
Don’t interrupt. I am…

Jacques:
Weasel?

Gizvelga:
No you idiot. My name is…

Jacques:
What?

Gizvelga:
My name is…

Jacques:
Who?

Gizvelga:
May name is… Chika chika Santa Claus

Exorcist:
Ok. Santa. Get out of Gizvelga, or else..

Gizvelga:
Or else what?

Exorcist:
I will call the Ghostbusters

Gizvelga:
Not the Ghostbusters! All right I’m getting out.. Bye

Narrator:
Gizvelga was cured. And she died.

Jacques:
At last… I’m free from the Teletubbies and from that dumb witch.

Narrator:
And he lived happily ever after…

Exorcist:
Hey!!! What about my money?

Jacques:
Oh, all right, how much?

Exorcist:
9999.99 $

Jacques:
Argh!!!!!!!!!

Narrator:
And he lived unhappily ever after.

Jacques:
Ah, shut up.

Gizvelga:
Yeah!!!

Jacques & Exorcist:
What???

Narrator:
THE END

Good Stuff Wookie +QP Kitten
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Dingo
Dingo


Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
posted September 25, 2003 02:57 AM

That wasn't very scary...
____________
The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.

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RMS
RMS


Responsible
Legendary Hero
-ing yummy foods
posted September 25, 2003 03:57 AM

Wow, that left a shiver in my bones.

Mmmm...chicken...tasty...
____________
This space for rent.

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted September 25, 2003 12:27 PM

That one wasn't supposed to be scary . Anyway, anyone got some other fun stories like that?
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted September 26, 2003 06:32 PM

Come on people! I'm sure you do have some funny ghost stories!
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Dingo
Dingo


Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
posted September 27, 2003 04:32 AM

This is meant to be stupid.

Once opon a time the was a ghost named Fred.  Fred one day tryed to spook someone.  He said, "Boo," and the person laughed.  Fred felt sad, he cried and cried and cried.  Then he mysteriously died.  The End.


I hope you enjoyed it!  



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BountyHunter97
BountyHunter97


Famous Hero
King of all that is Chicken
posted September 27, 2003 04:34 AM

well once upon a time, the end

wasnt that the best i loved it, did u c how i said the?
or once! it was 2 cool
____________

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted September 27, 2003 07:37 PM

Yay! I am now a Responsible Legendary Hero! Thanks, Kitten !

And here's another story - written by the same guys, but around a six months later. You may find it a bit similar to the previous one, but you still might find it quite amusing .

Narrator:
Once upon a time, on a god forsaken island in the middle of nowhere was a great castle (don't ask), where Lord Teatime lived with his beloved wife, Gargantua Insolentia. On this very night, strange things are about to happen...

* the butler enters the room *
Butler:
It's tea time sir.

Lord Teatime:
I know my name, jackass.

Butler:
No sir, I meant that it's time for tea.

Lord Teatime:
I know what you meant, you moron! Now give me the damn tea.

* Tah, dah, DAH! (drama) *

Lord Teatime:
Where did that come from?

Butler:
No idea, sir

* he passes the tea, suddenly a dark cloud floats up from the teacup *

Narrator:
Suddenly, a ghost rises from the tea cup.

Lord Teatime:
Thank you for pointing that out.

Ghost:
BOO!!!

Lord Teatime:
Ah, shut up!

Ghost:
You shut up, I'm the one who does the talking!

Lord Teatime:
Now, listen, you- you- whatever you are, you!

Ghost:
I'm the Tea Ghoul!

Lord Teatime:
Gargantua!

Ghost:
Say wha-?

* Gargantua Insolentia Teatime enters the room *

Gargantua:
U called, honey?

Ghost:
Who's that?

Lord Teatime:
Yes, my dear... That's my wife.

Ghost:
Nice.

Lord Teatime:
I know. I built her from scratch. Now, can you tell me why you came here?

Ghost:
What do you mean, why? There was no "why" in the job description, I was just supposed to come here, and... and... and...

Lord Teatime:
Butler?

Butler:
Yes, my lord?

Lord Teatime:
Could you get me an exorcist?

Exorcist:
Good moaning, sir.

Lord Teatime:
That was fast.

Exorcist:
Can I help you, sir?

Lord Teatime:
Could you dispose of this Seagull person?

Ghost:
Tea Ghoul

Lord Teatime:
Whatever.

Exorcist:
Will do sir. But I must warn you that my services are somewhat costly...

Lord Teatime:
I don't mind. You won't have much left after paying the income tax.

Tax Collector:
Funny you should say that...

Lord Teatime:
How the hell did you get in here?

Tax Collector:
Yes.

Lord Teatime:
What?

Tax Collector:
Through hell.

Lord Teatime:
Huh?

Tax Collector:
You left the back door open.

Lord Teatime:
Honey, could you please close the back door? And do throw this scoundrel out by the way.

Gargantua:
Do I have to?

Lord Teatime:
I'll give you a cookie.

Gargantua:
I'm on my way.

* She grabs the Tax Collector and walks away *

Lord Teatime:
Well? Get on with it!

Exorcist:
In nomine dei ego te exorcismo, foul being!

Ghost:
This place sucks. I'm out of here.

* the Tea Ghoul disappears with a pop *

Lord Teatime:
Ok, take the money and leave immediately.

* Lord Teatime hands the Exorcist a small bag of gold coins, and the Exorcist hurries out of the castle *

Lord Teatime:
Peace at last!

*drinks some tea*

Narrator:
THE END

Lord Teatime:
Butler! The tea is cold!

Narrator:
I said, THE END!
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Dingo
Dingo


Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
posted September 27, 2003 07:48 PM

Once again, I am frightened out of my mind.
____________
The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted September 27, 2003 07:52 PM

Once again, it was supposed to be a funny story - not scary.
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Dingo
Dingo


Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
posted September 27, 2003 07:54 PM

Quote:
Once again, I am frightened out of my mind.


Once again, I am being sarcastic.
____________
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VaRuAs
VaRuAs


Famous Hero
Only The Chosen Will Survive
posted April 17, 2005 04:39 PM

RUN FOR YOUR LIFFFEEEE!!!!!
That was scary stories you ppl have there......... you guys reminded me of the world's shortest scary story, something I heard years and years ago:

The last man on Earth sat in his room. There was a knock on the door. And he die............ the end.{this was hard }

***THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU***






____________
Quote
Aculias: WHy did Minnie Mouse break up with Mickey?
Because he was F^%$^$g Goofey.
quote

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IYY
IYY


Responsible
Supreme Hero
REDACTED
posted April 17, 2005 07:28 PM

Was there not a certain Mr. Teatime in Discworld?
____________

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terje_the_ma...
terje_the_mad_wizard


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Disciple of Herodotus
posted April 17, 2005 08:45 PM

No, it was the assassin, Mr. Tee-teemeh, not Mr. Teatime!

____________
"Sometimes I think everyone's just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. Maybe pretending to be brave is how you get brave, I don't know."
- Grenn, A Storm of Swords.

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted April 17, 2005 10:52 PM

His name was spelled Teatime, but pronounced Teh-Ah-Tee-Meh.

Polish pronunciation, basically

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VaRuAs
VaRuAs


Famous Hero
Only The Chosen Will Survive
posted April 18, 2005 08:50 AM

Or maybe Leatime!
____________
Quote
Aculias: WHy did Minnie Mouse break up with Mickey?
Because he was F^%$^$g Goofey.
quote

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LordZXZX
LordZXZX


Famous Hero
Overfished
posted April 20, 2005 09:48 PM

Here's a "scary" story

Once there was a man who entered a dark and quiet bookstore somewhere in Thailand. He happened to see a book, aptly titled '10 Encounters with a Ghost.'

Suddenly, a hand came out of nowhere and grabbed the book. *plays scary music*

Actually, the shopkeeper had grabbed it. He asked the man: Do you want to buy the Ten Encounters?

The man replied:Why not?

Shopkeeper: That will cost 500 baht

Man: So expensive?!

Shopkeeper: You dare bargain for this unholy book?! Do you want to get haunted by the ghosts?

Man: OK, ok, 500 baht it is.

Shopkeeper: There is one more thing you have to note.

Man: What is that?

Shopkeeper:*whispers* Never, never, ever turn to the last page of this book, or you may regret it.

Man: What's on the last page?

Shopkeeper: Nothing important, except that if u turn to the last page, u will regret it for life. You will be cusred with bad luck forever. You might even get possessed.

Man: That is a load of crap

Shopkeeper: You dare defy the supernatural?!

Man: OK, man. Calm down. I won't turn to that page.




Back at home the man had an enjoyable time reading halfway through the book. Then he went to sleep with the book by his bedside.

He had forgotten to close the window, so the wind blew the pages of the book about. The man woke up coz' it was cold, and he saw the wind blowing the pages about. He quickly put his hand down on the book to stop the wind from turning the pages.

Unfortunately, his hand was placed on the last page. Curiosity got the better of him and he looked at the last page.

The shopkeeper was right. He did regret turning to the last page. The price tag of the book was there. It cost 50 baht.
____________
...

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