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| Thread: Eric and the Gazebo (and possibly other roleplaying humor) |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · NEXT» |
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Syllogism
Adventuring Hero
Gazebo Slayer
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posted September 02, 2001 10:23 PM |
bonus applied. |
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Eric and the Gazebo (and possibly other roleplaying humor)
My custom status(/title) might seem a bit odd. There are two reasons why I happened to choose this one. First, I wanted it to mock several other custom titles. Secondly, I did not want to make it too obvious so I chose a word that might not be familiar to everyone. Anyway, here's the story (I believe this group is playing AD&D):
Eric and the Gazebo
ROLE-PLAYING GAMES SIG
by Richard Aronson
So... Eric was playing a neutral paladin (Why should only lawful, good religions get to have holy warriors? was the rationale) in Ed's game. He even had a holy sword, which fought well and did all those things holy swords are supposed to do, including good or evil (by random die roll). He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:
ED: You see a well-groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about 30 feet across, 15 feet high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect whether it's good.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (rolls to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: Of course not, Eric! It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a plus-three arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a gazebo! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it wih an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#%$*& gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause - he has no axe or fire spells) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo, and it catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my paladin...
At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining what a gazebo is. This is solely an afterthought, of course, but Eric is doubly lucky that the gazebo was not situated on a grassy knoll.
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Ash-NIR
Known Hero
the Black Warlock
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posted September 02, 2001 10:40 PM |
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Gazebo Slayer
ROTFL till my brain comes out of my nose...
...maybe I should change my custom status to "Treehouse Hunter"
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"ana:l nathrakh, u:rth va:s bethud, dokhje:l djenve"
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El_Diablo
Bad-mannered
Famous Hero
Lord of Terror
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posted September 02, 2001 10:58 PM |
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LOL, ash nir that was hilarious, I also don't get why syllogism claims he is a "gazebo slayer" i've tryed to make him see that he is an idiot but he wont listen, he insists that he must slay all small octagon shaped buildings, for they are the core of all evil  hahaha
**syllogism gazebo slayer is the most ridiculous and god awful thing i have ever read, , you are a geek**
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*Welcome to Hell*
~~*El Diablo*~~
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Night_Stalker
Known Hero
Lord of the Night
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posted September 02, 2001 11:08 PM |
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Explane!
I don't get what Syllogism is talking about... What does he mean el?
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Humans say they are powerfull. But that stops when facing a monster.
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Ash-NIR
Known Hero
the Black Warlock
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posted September 02, 2001 11:43 PM |
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Quote:
****, i dunno, i didnt bother reading his post, things he says are not important to me, I just read ash nirs post and i saw him making fun of syllogism and how he calls himself the "gazebo slayer" so i decided to join in and make fun of him too, for being such an idiot
you have got it all wrong!!! I do not make fun of Syllogism... and I beg you DON'T make the same mistake Incubus makes with Tolkien... NEVER JUDGE BEFORE READING!!!
...I'm not engaging any flamewars... even ones I accidentally started...
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Syllogism
Adventuring Hero
Gazebo Slayer
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posted September 03, 2001 12:01 AM |
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Idiocy knows no bounds. El diablo is a fine example of this.
What part do you not understand Incubus? Do you know what a gazebo is?
^^^^^
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Night_Stalker
Known Hero
Lord of the Night
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posted September 03, 2001 12:06 AM |
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unfortunatly
No... I don't know what it is.
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Humans say they are powerfull. But that stops when facing a monster.
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ChoaticHyrda
Adventuring Hero
The Man of Many Faces
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posted September 03, 2001 12:38 AM |
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That was Hilarious, Syllo. I loved that story. So youre friend Eric actually did this in a rpg session!! That musta been hilarious, I hope he was just joking around when he thought the gazebo was some kind of creature that u could interact with. Anyhoos, Its kinda strange that some people here dont get it although i can understand why Incubus would'nt since he from another country, at least he's got an excuse. Anyways, I don't care what the others say I like your'e custom status, I think it's quite humorous and you should definelty keep it. I'm also glad to see I'm not the only one here who tries to keep this board a little more interesting by posting something humorous and different.
If u ever read my HOmmaholics survey you'll know what I'm talking about. Ok well on a final note me and my friends had some pretty humorous role-playing experiences, I'll see if I cant remembre them and maybe post them here, it would be nice if we could get a lil collection of stories here.
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CraigHack
Known Hero
Have fantasies, will travel...
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posted September 03, 2001 12:43 AM |
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Eric the Great!
Great story!!! And.... an added bonus!! El Diablo fits right into Erics shoes!!
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The Gods have brought us together... I can't imagine why.
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El_Diablo
Bad-mannered
Famous Hero
Lord of Terror
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posted September 03, 2001 12:44 AM |
- penalty applied. |
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Quote:
Idiocy knows no bounds. El diablo is a fine example of this.
What part do you not understand Incubus? Do you know what a gazebo is?
^^^^^
Syllogism you fu<king idiot, thanks for the picture, you just proved my point that you are fu<king stupid, just look at that building, just how in the goddam hell do you slay a gazebo you fu<ked up ignorant piece of shlt
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*Welcome to Hell*
~~*El Diablo*~~
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Syllogism
Adventuring Hero
Gazebo Slayer
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posted September 03, 2001 12:58 AM |
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Quote:
That was Hilarious, Syllo. I loved that story. So youre friend Eric actually did this in a rpg session!! That musta been hilarious, I hope he was just joking around when he thought the gazebo was some kind of creature that u could interact with.
Alas, no. This (in)famous story was printed on "ROLE-PLAYING GAMES SIG" magazine way over a decade ago. Since then it has spread all over Internet (sort of). Anyway, Eric truly believed Gazebo was a creature of some sort.
El_diablo your insults are more sad than offending. Try to think something original and witty rather than making a total fool out of yourself. Though the situation can't get get any worse, I reckon.
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El_Diablo
Bad-mannered
Famous Hero
Lord of Terror
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posted September 03, 2001 01:22 AM |
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you reckon, lol, what a cool word  , anyway, im not the one calling myself a gazebo slayer so im not exactly making a fool outta myself
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*Welcome to Hell*
~~*El Diablo*~~
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ChoaticHyrda
Adventuring Hero
The Man of Many Faces
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posted September 03, 2001 01:26 AM |
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All I can say is keep up the good work!! The more gazebos u slay, the better this earth will become!! I mean c'mon guys who would'nt wan't to have a slogan that says; year 2003;Gazebo free!! Well anyways I'm sure this shall bee a rather tough quest for u my friend, U know those friggin things reproduce like rabbits on crack!!!
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Even in Chaos there is a certain Order, and in Order, a certain Chaos
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Oldtimer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
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posted September 03, 2001 01:32 AM |
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You MUST STOP this needless slaughter of defenceless Gazebos. The wild gazebo runs are almost non-existant and domesticated gazebos just don't have that classic feel. To you gazebos maybe just be potential firewood, but I ask you to honor the past. Remember that gazebos were ancient human breeding nests. You may owe your entire existance on a well maintained gazebo. Stop the hate! Channel your efforts into preserving the gazebo.(and bring a can of paint so you can make it look nice.)
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<PLEASE DO NOT WAKE THE OLD MAN!>
"Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz..."
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bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
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posted September 03, 2001 03:54 AM |
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I'm not sure which part of this thread is the most hilarious:
1. the original gazebo story
2. oldtimer's plea
3. the fact that some people appear to have completely missed the point
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arachnid
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted September 03, 2001 12:19 PM |
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id go with option 3 for sure! lmao!!
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Shae_Trielle
Honorable
Famous Hero
of Heroes
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posted September 03, 2001 01:13 PM |
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Oh my god!
I laughed so hard I nearly DIED! That was the FUNNIEST story I've ever seen! Oh my god, I'm almost crying and my stomach hurts! LMAO! Who the hell was that idiot?
LOOOOOOL~!!!!!
Thank you Syll. You just brightened my day considerably!
*SMILE*
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UnkaHaakon
Responsible
Famous Hero
happily tilting at windmills
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posted September 03, 2001 01:21 PM |
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Actually, Syl..I thought it was because you were just strange. Coming from me ..that's a compliment.
Oldtimer can well afford to be passionate about the plight of the gazebo in captivity. UPlace has many rolling, majestic greenswards for habitat. Unfortunately, other areas are not as lucky. Perhaps we need to concentrate on habitat? Crud..I guess that means working in my yard more...now, where did that mower get to?
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Some people say the glass is half full..Some people say it's half empty... I say "What're you asking me to drink?"
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ChoaticHyrda
Adventuring Hero
The Man of Many Faces
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posted September 03, 2001 01:51 PM |
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Omg, this post just keeps getting better and better...Its so Hilarious my sides are achin' and tears are coming squeezing out of my eyes..
actually Bort I need to make a comment on your reply the most hilarious thing on this is not really any of these optionsu mentioned with perhaps the exception of 3. If by 3 u mean the fact that Syllo's story/custom status actually upset another poster so much that he's attacking his CUSTOM STATUS!!! Thats hilarious, his custom status is being critiqued and by another player. EL_Diablo, I must say, this is the best idea ever!! I am now convinced that u 2 dont really hate each other like youre post might Imply--you and him are actually a 2 man comedy team...I understand now. I have been enlightened. And I apologize if I ruined this little act u 2 may have wanted to keep a secret,I just coul'nt help myself
Btw just to keep a funny lil war going on here..as much as I like u guys and youre posts, I'm afraid I have to take my original standpoint and side with Syll, in saying..GAZEBOS MUST DIE,they're overpopulating land that we could use for farming or perhaps tree-house habitat(u know treehouses cant stand a grassy plain with no trees!!! O geeez I hope u get a star 4 this, if u havent already.
Anyways Diablo and Syllo, keep up the good work!!
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CraigHack
Known Hero
Have fantasies, will travel...
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posted September 03, 2001 04:43 PM |
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I was sooo wrong!
Quote:
actually Bort I need to make a comment on your reply the most hilarious thing on this is not really any of these optionsu mentioned with perhaps the exception of 3. If by 3 u mean the fact that Syllo's story/custom status actually upset another poster so much that he's attacking his CUSTOM STATUS!!! Thats hilarious, his custom status is being critiqued and by another player. EL_Diablo, I must say, this is the best idea ever!! I am now convinced that u 2 dont really hate each other like youre post might Imply--you and him are actually a 2 man comedy team...
I am so stunned!!!!! This really opens my eyes!!!!!!!
I had actually thought that El_Diablo was operating without benefit of a clue. Or "clueless" as we say here in Gazebo country. Instead, he has actually taken this very humorous little tale and made it gut wrenchingly funny!!!
Nice going El !!! Every story needs a straight man!!
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The Gods have brought us together... I can't imagine why.
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