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| Thread: The Real Man's Guide To Being A Man |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted July 26, 2006 03:42 PM |
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The Real Man's Guide To Being A Man
So you think you’re a man, huh? You think you’re tough? Think you’re bad? Well, I got news for you pal… you’re not. Sure, you might possess a pair of testicles. You might go fishing every once in a while. You might even watch Walker, Texas Ranger on occasion, but it don’t matter, cause you ain’t a man. Let me tell ya about a real man.
Real men don’t cry. Real men don’t *****. Real Men like me learn from their mistakes, then they make ‘em again just because they can. Then they eat a 96-ounce steak and wash it down with a nice tall glass of buttery mashed potatoes. That’s what real men do.
Real men, manly men, fix all their problems with elbow grease, beef jerky, and a spanner. Real men don’t drive SUV’s, real men drive Dodge trucks. Manly men like me don’t need women. Being manly is about not needin’ stuff. And a womens is stuff.
Real men smoke Marlboro reds and ride wild stallions and drop kick rattlesnakes. Real men shave with chainsaws and guzzle Jim Beam and body slam elephants and throw special Ed buses over mountains. Real men punt babies and break things. Real men eat grenades and crap mortar shells. Real men read Shakespeare. Then we laugh at how queer it is. That’s what real men do.
Real men bench press cement trucks and hunt after grizzly bears with a butter knife. Know what I just did? Grew a beard. Yep. Took two seconds. Damn thing’s down to my feet by now.
I ain’t got nothin’ else to say. Real men don’t say much. Ya’ll wanna find me, I’ll be out in the middle of the street flexin’ my muscles and talkin’ Nascar.
Meantime, your candy ass got some stupid pansy questions for a real man? Best direct it to this thread.
Oh yeah, real men don't need HC, we just come here to brag about how manly we are!
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Cleash1
Hired Hero
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posted July 26, 2006 03:57 PM |
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Lol great post mate. Except the bit about Jim Beam....... a poor man's Jack daniels if you ask me.
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted July 26, 2006 05:27 PM |
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Quote:
Manly men like me don’t need women
I have a question for a real man.
How often do you spank your monkey?
When you spank your monkey, do you fantasize of bodyslamming elephants?
Do you use "aids" when you spank your monkey?
Do real men get caught by their moms when they spank their monkey?
For real men, what is the euphemism of choice for spanking the monkey?
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TnT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted July 26, 2006 07:27 PM |
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Quote:
How often do you spank your monkey?
If by that outrageous phrase you mean drilling my ugly duckling then being a REAL man as I am I do that almost anytime I get bored, you ever tried reading one of your replies FoG just for once...
...
...
   
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Please
click and help me out!! Thanks!!
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted July 26, 2006 07:55 PM |
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Basically the oposite of you right Dragon sLayer ?
Wasnt it true you cried when Winnie the Pooh couldnt find his honey  .
Yes I am a real man.
I am Bad I am cool & know I am Jelling
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Dreaming of a Better World
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted July 26, 2006 08:13 PM |
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Quote:
If by that outrageous phrase you mean drilling my ugly duckling then being a REAL man as I am I do that almost anytime I get bored, you ever tried reading one of your replies FoG just for once...
do you mean that you...
drill your ugly duckling when you read my replies?
why,
I don't know what to say.
except
I'm taken.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted July 26, 2006 08:16 PM |
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Now we know sLayers real definition of a mans man guide
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Dreaming of a Better World
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TheUltimateM...
Promising
Known Hero
Male Escort
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posted July 27, 2006 09:11 AM |
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Nice one, Braggin Sprayer!
Heed his advice, male CyberGeeks (and especially male CyberGeeks pretending to be female CyberGeeks).
However, it has been TUM's experience that validates some real men actually do need women...to buy them clothes, to pay their bills, to rub their back, etc. You get the picture.
Now, CyberGeeks, put away those adult-themed Japanese anime videos and pick-up a book (not science fiction) to read for a change! You may actually learn something useful. Just remember...
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Don't hate me because I am beautiful.
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2XtremeToTake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted July 27, 2006 09:52 AM |
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O where have you been TUM? We have missed your indefinite knowledge.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted July 27, 2006 10:05 AM |
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Quote:
How often do you spank your monkey?
Just coz i said real men dont need women, i neva said we dont use em, for reasons you have listed above.
Aculias, dude your no real man with you long flowing hair!
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted July 27, 2006 10:15 AM |
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Quote:
Just coz i said real men dont need women, i neva said we dont use em,
What a sweetie
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted July 27, 2006 10:58 AM |
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just for reference this thread is a joke, so no need for people to get all technical about it. Im just playing a role
Yo kookie, wanna cook me a steak?
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted July 27, 2006 01:38 PM |
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How does a real man like it? Bleeding or charcoal? And do you want fries with that?
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted July 27, 2006 02:28 PM |
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Keep the blood aside, cook it medium, then pour the blood back over.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted July 27, 2006 08:23 PM |
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TOUGH, BLOODY & HARD TO CHEW!!!
The way real men eat it!!!
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Dreaming of a Better World
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted July 28, 2006 09:57 PM |
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I eaat maah steakh with a rag on a stiack!
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted July 28, 2006 10:21 PM |
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LOL any more orders, the BBQ is hot, the beer is cold, I'm just about to cook for you MEN.
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TnT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted July 28, 2006 10:36 PM |
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted July 29, 2006 10:43 AM |
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TNtina and Aculias will never be real man, they are girls
Im a real man so tough and strong I am, haha
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted July 29, 2006 10:49 AM |
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Dude William you are no man ok & your arm muscles are like wet noodles .
You are defanately not a man
Afterall you did say you were a mans woman
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Dreaming of a Better World
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