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| Thread: Old Salty's Fish n' Chips (Underage Kiddies Welcome) |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 · NEXT» |
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted July 28, 2006 06:01 PM |
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Old Salty's Fish n' Chips (Underage Kiddies Welcome)
~ Welcome Scallywags and Landlubbers to Old Salty's Fish and Chips™ ~
Alright little ones, out of the taverns and into here for a super duper good time. We have fun and games where you can win tickets that can be exchanged for crappy prizes that could be bought at a real store for less then what you'll put out on tokens. When you're done there come and enjoy a plate of Old Salty's Famous Fish n' Chips while we roll out the mechanical puppets to sing songs and perform the same show they've been doing since the 80's.
In-between shows be sure to check out our rad music videos that have been re-recorded and performed by kids with all the unwholesome words taken out.
And if you're lucky, you might get to see Old Salty the Pirate Fish (who might appear a bit dirty and smell funny) if he isn't in the kitchen already drunk and wetting his costume...again.
So come on in children of all ages for a rockin good time away from the adults and the busy stuff they'd rather do without children hanging around.
Tokens: Insert a dollar into the "magic" token machine and receive three (possibly four if you're lucky) tokens.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-Old Salty's Galley-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Old Salty's Fish n' Chips...........................$7.99 a plate
Old Salty's Simulated Tuna Roll................$2.50 for four rolls
Old Salty's Carp Casserole (mmmm).........$2.95 a plate
Old Salty's Calamari Surprise...................$2.99 a plate
Old Salty's Tentacles on a Stick.........$2.50 for three
Old Salty's Salad Bar.........$7.99 all you can eat
Old Salty's Week Old Mod Soup (nummers).........$1.95 a bowl
Old Salty's Large Anchovi Pizza.........$13.99 additional items are 99˘ each
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-Drinks a la Salty's-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Old Salty's Genuine Salt Water..................$1.25 a glass
Old Salty's Sour Squid Juice......................$1.25 plus free re-fills
Old Salty's Goat Milk................................$1.50 a glass
Old Salty's Fountain Drinks (and by fountain drinks we mean from the water fountain).........50˘ per sip
Old Salty's Gally Menu ©2008 Old Salty's Inc.
Old Salty's Fish and Chips™ and related items are a registered Trademark of Old Salty's Inc.
~Enjoy~  
(Parents and hot childless adults also welcome)
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Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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TnT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted July 28, 2006 07:10 PM |
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Antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
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posted July 28, 2006 07:43 PM |
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oh this is B-S! i put adoller bill,it showed SUCKER and it didnt gave any tokens,i demend my money back!
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EldGiffen
Adventuring Hero
NobleGriffen Master Of Birds
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posted July 28, 2006 07:53 PM |
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Ummmm...
I dont really feel like any of those foods right now, its just too fishy i guess
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted July 28, 2006 08:42 PM |
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Quote:
Alright little ones, out of the taverns and into here for a super duper good time. We have fun and games where you can win tickets that can be exchanged for crappy prizes that could be bought at a real store for less then what you'll put out on tokens.
I'm super duper disappointed in you MM. This sounds just like every other place I've been. Why don't you line up some good prizes and then I'll be back with my entourage.
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted July 29, 2006 03:51 AM |
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If I put out good prizes then I wouldn't be rolling in the dough now would I?
But I know you'd love to own one of those singing wall fishies for only 850 tickets.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted July 29, 2006 03:53 AM |
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How about you bring in some legos? They'd all come a runnin'...
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted July 29, 2006 04:43 AM |
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I thought of that but decided to go with the cheaper "Brick O's".
Also we've added a ball pit (used from the McDonalds that closed down the street) which we have no intention of washing...ever.
Some new items may also appear on the menu since we've stolen er, received so much money from our customers.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted July 29, 2006 08:02 AM |
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*pours gasoline on the fish and chips shop, lights a match and throws the match towards the wall*
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted July 31, 2006 01:18 AM |
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Yeah well that was one thing I wasn't too cheap too install. Water sprinklers with water directed from the neighboring buildings.
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Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
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posted July 31, 2006 04:15 PM |
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oh yeah mightymage do you need russian drunk security men who will wear white shirt,with black pants and black shoes,with this device that checks metal,and say in heavy russian voice: POTAHAT TIK BAKASHA
(open beg please).
Disclaimer:israel privet joke..
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted July 31, 2006 04:43 PM |
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*drinks some goat milk*
Arr, Salty, you still be in business? Figurd you'd be sweepin' ye atlantic floors by now, ye dirty scallawag!
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Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted July 31, 2006 06:43 PM |
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Woockardo, about time you showed your ugly mug. What brings you to Salty's? It was the food wasn't it?
@antipaladin: Welcome my new Russian Guard. You can stand by the doors over there. Don't worry, English is not necessary. Oh, and I hope you don't mind but your pay will be in Tokens and Tickets.
Now all I need is a Mexican janitor. Acu, where are you?
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted August 02, 2006 05:29 AM |
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I smell an old salty... oh hi Might Man how are ya
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Dreaming of a Better World
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted August 02, 2006 05:46 AM |
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Ah good, you're here. Here's your mop and broom. Your other supplies and bottles of Tequila are in the small closet to the back and then your left. If you see Old Salty in there then he's probably drunk again. Just look out for his puke puddles. Ci Senior?
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted August 02, 2006 05:48 AM |
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No Comprende
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
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posted August 02, 2006 06:31 PM |
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@mightymage:
Me..Kak tam bla? Ne speaking angliski,tam bla,gde vodka?
THis is B-S,the token-dollers mechine sucks,i want payback in dollars,349 an hour,or 34.9 an hour,or in boobies..
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted August 02, 2006 07:09 PM |
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Mr. Englestein:
Mr Mighty Mage, I'm am here to inform you that you are the subject of litigation. My client, a Mr. FriendofGunnar was stabbed by a syringe when he was playing in the ball pit. He was taken to the hospital and must now wait for the results of the HIV test, which is causing him extreme emotional duress. He is in fact, unable to post now, his fingers shaking when he even tries to type. He is also unable to come in the tavern due to the emotional trauma associated with the events surrounding the puncturing of his skin, thus depriving him of his normal entertainment pursuits. Furthermore he has also been unable to enjoy the full conjugal intimacy of his wife, his mistress, and his girlfriend. This negligence on the part of Old Salty's fish n' chips has in fact brought my clients life to a complete standstill.
Before this comes to court however we are willing to settle. I propose 300 million dollars. Mr. Mighty Mage, what is your response?
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Antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
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posted August 02, 2006 10:04 PM |
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excuse me,eeh,you mr. lawyer, do-nt u read this sign : "IF YOUR A LAWYER,A COP,OR ANYTHING THAT CAN THREATEN ME YOU CANT GET IN!"
im sorry but i cant let u in unless u want servier trumas in gorin area's or suffering from vodka strike..
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted August 03, 2006 05:23 AM |
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Eh...heh heh heh, go ahead and let Mr. Jewey...I mean Englestein in. Mr. Englestein, would you join me in my personal office? Perhaps we can discuss this.
*Mr. Mighty Mage and the greedy lawyer enter the beautifully adorned office where Mr. Mighty Mage shows the lier...er lawyer to a large comfortable leather chair.*
Please sit sir. Would you like a carmel candy, a cigar, (perhaps a soul)? You say your client was "pricked" by an alleged needle while enjoying our wonderful ball pit of happiness? I must say sir, in the whole three days we've had this ball pit here I haven't heard on complaint. Can you even produce the alleged needle? I think not. We here at the distinguished Old Salty's Fish and Chips are sorry for any discomfort your client may have had but we refuse to believe it was caused by our negligence. Therefore we will not settle but will allow your client free entry into our establishment so he partake of a meal and 100 tokens on us. Do we have a deal Mr. Englestein?
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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