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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: I didnt know such people exists...
Thread: I didnt know such people exists...
antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted November 19, 2006 10:02 PM

I didnt know such people exists...

I frinde of mine ,Marina, who i knowen for few weeks was in good realtinship with a guy 5-6 mounths ago..
he was a trouble making,she wasnt good herself..but she loved him,still does,and he used it,he took adavntege of her in anyway..mostly money..he got her into 10k debt in the bank,he used her visa when they ware apart,at her birthday,he called collect call to her so she can call him back so he could greet her..
she crys for him everyday..
once i visited her and she was crying
histerical
i set next to her,taking her hand on my sholder,gentaly wiping the tears from her chick,keeping my arm there,kissing her scalp,saying things like 'shh' and 'it'll be alright'..
after 5 min she calmed down..
we sat smoked and talked
I calmed her down more..when i was leaving ,she told me thenks,i didnt not wanted to accept the thenks,i only did what everyone would..
she said like 'noteveryone could do this'
i said 'did what? listen? give advice?' she said that yes.
I said i dont know what're you thenking me for,and left.
she never forgets it and when im withfrindes she always praises me on this case.what can i say? She's a good frind of mine..
but he..i sirousyl didnt know such people exists..when she was dipressed becouse of the debt.she found new job and works her booti off to pay hes debts,and he sleepswith the whole world,she told him 'i wish to die' he told her 'then die!'
how can you say that ..i was very mad when i heard it..
He tears her apart..she still crys and im calming her down..
thats what i mostly do
im a good listner
i take ppl's problams of,and grasp em myself
but im getting very tired
no sleep becouse i want to find solution
my other frindes say that i dont need this headeche..
i dont know..
im being energeticly leeched..i just dont find enought energy to deal with mine..my grades lowerd,i already failed 2 things so far..i'm just reciving more and more responcibility every day i feel im to collpase..but i have no one to share it with..i dont want to cry no more but only writing it makes me crying why,i do not know.
help me..
____________
types in obscure english

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Consis
Consis


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
posted November 20, 2006 12:23 AM

Write, And We Will Listen To You

I don't speak for anyone but myself. If you want to come here and write about something then why shouldn't you?

As you listen to other people and give them comfort, I will listen to you and hopefully you will receive comfort in return.

You seem like a genuinely honorable young man from Israel Antipaladin. I enjoy reading your thoughts. Your English is poor but your spirit is rich. Thankyou for sharing your experience with us. You are not alone my friend.
____________
Roses Are RedAnd So Am I

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted November 20, 2006 02:57 AM
Edited by Elvin at 02:57, 20 Nov 2006.

It is sad but true.Many people are selfish,heartless and uncaring.

The only thing we can do is watch out for them and never allow them to exploit us.You seem a kind hearted guy,especially after saying you didn't understand why she thanked you.It is noble of you to be there for your friends as some things may mean a lot to them but it takes strength to shoulder everyone's problems.

You can't lose your sleep trying to find a solution,there is not one to be found.Each of us has problems that are his responsibility only.Your role is to assist them if you can-not solve them yourself.You can see it already,it is gnawing on you.Focus on your problems,help as best as you can and there will be people here that know of your efforts
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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted November 20, 2006 09:31 AM
Edited by kookastar at 09:34, 20 Nov 2006.

Women in love are...


hopeless.

You are a good friend to her, and your support probably means alot to her.  But, only she can pull herself out of this, only you know how long you can stand by and watch...

One thing you might try to do, is try to get her involved in new things that involve socialising with different people that are fun, and not like mr evil.  Let her see that there is more good in the world, also make sure these activities can help her with her self esteem - fun things that she can do well in {but aren't too easy}, and laugh too.

There are many reasons why women stay in abusive relationships like hers.  I am not a counciller, I am sure there are people she can turn to or you can go to to seek more helpful advice here.  I think alot of the time is low self esteem - she thinks she deserves to be treated this way, or that she loves him so it is ok, or whatever.

She has some things to work through too, lucky she has you

We can't always solve people's problems for them, sometimes we can just 'be'.  Take care of yourself too though - see the situation for what it is, and understand that everyone has choices that they are making for different reasons.

I am starting to blah - I am sure there are people with valuable advice out there - do you have a school counciller?


____________
uhuh

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william
william


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
posted November 20, 2006 10:06 AM

Girls and love and all that.

I have fallen in love with one of the most wonderful girls I have ever met, I shall say that.

And I could spend less time here because of that but it doesnt bother me.

I know what you mean Anti, selfish people.

damn them!!!
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~

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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted November 20, 2006 10:46 AM

Thenk you

for your kind advices,i actualy drew a tear reading about it.
I'm suffering from significant pain due to the growin part..growing pains i hate it..
i already confirmed it is stress realaited.

my worrying is not only on her,but its abit on me too,i cant handle all this pressure anymore,its not like there isless of it,there is just more of it every single day.
I cant speak to someone about it in RL,for they might stop and collapse themselfs.
I'f i discuss it with perents i will only get into more arguments,my mother things all my life untill 18 should be devoted to school.
My dad will just support her.

I'm heaving enought of them.
ineed some help in this pressure,just a bit,i always give them time,but i never ask or get 'laska' back,laska is a word in russian i cannot translate.
Im stuck.
____________
types in obscure english

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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted November 20, 2006 10:56 AM

Then maybe you do need to just get away from her for a while

You need to worry about yourself.
____________
uhuh

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted November 20, 2006 03:13 PM

Maybe,though it's not something I would do.She should have some time of her own to think it over as well as someone to dispel her self-doubts.

You seem to be in need of finding a friend that would do the same for you,one you could talk to without reservations.Unfortunately that's not as easy to do nor something you could do on demand.Are you sure you can't talk to anyone you know?I know for sure that your parents wouldn't be such a good idea for the reasons you mentioned.

I would advice you to spend some fun time as Kookastar said if a little to distract you as both this and school need a clear head with less worries.
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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted November 20, 2006 04:32 PM

Thats terrible advice Kooka.
If anythang that is exactly what she needs.
SHe cant be alone going through being tooken advantage of.
Emotional behavior.
The best way is to be there while Anti takes whatever heat is thrown his way in tghe process.
It's not intentional, it's just a woman emotion & ANti can take the heat.
Even though the other guy used her & took advantage of her.
Sometimes you need to be strong.

It goes both ways,women are the same also not just men.
Yes there are people like that & many in fact who would slit thoer best friends neck for a 100 dollar bill.
____________
Dreaming of a Better World

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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted November 20, 2006 09:06 PM

attention,where?

the point she is just one out of 100's,and i cant seem to take it anytmore..
yes elvin i cannot find someoen to do the same tome.


____________
types in obscure english

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted November 21, 2006 05:23 AM

This world is full of ignorant people
____________
Dreaming of a Better World

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted November 21, 2006 10:06 AM

So there are more people you try to help.I can tell you one thing,don't.It may seem harsh/cruel/whatever but you don't have the luxury of helping everyone and living your own life.Tend to yourself and make your choices.Help the people you want but don't spend your energy solving their problems for them.You won't always be around and some people should face their own challenges.What I mean is set priorities and see who is really in need of help,the others will manage.
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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted July 25, 2007 02:55 AM

if i only knew i was wrong with her...

The minut he wanted to get back she ran on him,i was insulted as hell,but i decided to open a new page,and i took her entery away.

____________
types in obscure english

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baklava
baklava


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
posted July 25, 2007 12:59 PM

Quote:
l didnt know such people exists..

Dude, we're living in a world which had Hitler, Stalin, Mao Ze Tung and all the others... Of course a$$holes exist.
I just don't understand how girls mostly seem to fall in love with them. I know like 70 such cases, and all the time the girls are so desperately in love. While there are tons of good people who give them everything and try to be as great as they can be and get divorced cause she falls in love with someone else or if he makes a tiniest mistake. A man's a$$holeness is directly proportional to the amount of love he will get.
That's plain retarded.
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf

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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted July 25, 2007 09:56 PM

It is... And when you grow up you think - what did I ever see in them

It's like a nurturung instinct, it's like a sign that if someone so crazy and mean could love me then I must be really special...  I can help them, I can see the "real them" like no other.

hmmmm it's difficult to explain really...  When in love though, we tend to overlook alot of bad qualities, or make excuses for them.  Love has a transformational quality.  

I agree it is crazy.  If I could turn back time, I'd be headed for the sci-fi writer's group fo sho.  Don't get me wrong, there are a ton of interesting and good qualities in everyone, but I hear what you're saying.


____________
uhuh

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Qu_Purple
Qu_Purple


Hired Hero
posted July 27, 2007 12:50 PM

Step back a little Anti!

The problem here Anti is that you are not responsible for her actions and you obviously feel too deeply for your friend.  She is the one that let the boyfriend have her credit card and all the rest of the things that he took advantage of her in were in her control to stop.  You are great to support her but you really need to get her to seek advice from someone who can help her like a counsellor or some other professional.  All you can do is tell her what you think.

As the others have said you need to care for yourself.  You can be there for her to talk and be a shoulder to cry on if you can cope with that but she is the only one that can find her way out of it.  No matter what you tell her she is just going to do what she decides to do and it wont necessarily be what you have advised her.  

Hope that you get out and have some fun and that you are ok.
Good Luck!
 
____________
Life has ruined my Heroes addiction!!

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Miru
Miru


Supreme Hero
A leaf in the river of time
posted July 27, 2007 05:38 PM

Quote:
[posted November 19, 2006 01:02 PM]
we sat smoked and talked

AHA!


Well anyway girls don't understand love, but love is defined (best definition I ever heard) as putting someone else's needs before your own or someone else's happiness is essential to your own.

Nothin' in there about handsome, smart, or reasonable is there now?

Its not a constant emotion, love is when you aren't hopped up on chemicals (I call emotions chemicals, and hopped up, because they meet some definitions of drugs), you would still stop and think he/she would like [that/those] and get it/them.
____________
I wish I were employed by a stupendous paragraph, with capitalized English words and expressions.

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