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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: Golden handshakes
Thread: Golden handshakes
Trogdor
Trogdor


Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
posted November 22, 2006 07:55 AM

Golden handshakes

I thought I might make a topic on this since there's no other forum that talks about this.

Golden Handshakes

A golden handshake is the final payout given to an employee who is being fired or retiring from the job. More often than not, the golden handshake system favours those who haven't worked at their line of employment for very long. These people get huge cash payouts whereas the long-time employees get a plaque at most.

What I am trying to do is this: Anyone can do this, tell us your ideal golden handshake, but there are a few rules to follow first:

1)If you are fired, select a reward that costs less than a thousand Aussie dollars.

2)If you work for a short amount of time but quit because of a new job offer, the limit is $50,000 Aussie dollars.

3)If you quit your job after a long period of time and your retiring (at least 10 years employment), the limit is $150,000 Aussie dollars.

If your unsure on the rate of Aussie dollars, feel free to check the current rates on this site.

Remember to post your secret handshakes like the following:

1)fired secret handshake
2)quit after working for short time
3)quit or retire after working 10 years or more

Here's my secret handshake:

1)$1000 in cash (to spend on cash)
2)A boat plus some spare cash
3)A new HSV plus spare cash
____________
"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu

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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted November 22, 2006 08:59 AM
Edited by kookastar at 09:08, 22 Nov 2006.

1)fired secret handshake:
I would get a holiday to fiji with spending money {nevermind about the coo - it is supposed to make it more secluded for the tourists }

2)quit after working for short time
50 grand would be enough for me to take a year off work to rome through the world {parts of it}, exploring spaces and just being a total spoon  I would think of some kind of mission/ qwerk to fulfil to make it seem like my random wandering was purposeful and inspired!

3)quit or retire after working 10 years or more
Wow this is a significant amount of cash...  I'd like to say something interesting, but I'd want it to pay off my house so I didn't have to work to pay the bank

...this is all hypthetical of course... I don't think us teachers get golden handshakes  I got a cornchip from a student once though



____________
uhuh

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friendofgunnar
friendofgunnar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
posted November 22, 2006 09:29 PM

I'm going to be getting laid off in about half a year here, so I think for my golden handshake I'd like a new computer.  Maybe even one of their old ones that they're not using anymore, which would still be an upgrade for me.


Of course a tropical vacation is always nice.

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russ
russ


Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
posted November 22, 2006 10:14 PM

1)If you are fired, select a reward that costs less than a thousand Aussie dollars.
A vacation package to Cuba

2)If you work for a short amount of time but quit because of a new job offer, the limit is $50,000 Aussie dollars.
A used Ferrari.

3)If you quit your job after a long period of time and your retiring (at least 10 years employment), the limit is $150,000 Aussie dollars.
A newer model of used Ferrari

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TnT_Addict
TnT_Addict


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
posted November 22, 2006 10:48 PM
Edited by TnT_Addict at 22:51, 22 Nov 2006.

1)If you are fired, select a reward that costs less than a thousand Aussie dollars.
Women of easy virtue

2)If you work for a short amount of time but quit because of a new job offer, the limit is $50,000 Aussie dollars.
Women of easy virtue and beer

3)If you quit your job after a long period of time and your retiring (at least 10 years employment), the limit is $150,000 Aussie dollars.
Women of... Oh forget it! Hookers and champagne!
____________

Please
click and help me out!! Thanks!!

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted November 23, 2006 05:09 PM

Kind of like working & your boss goes in the bathroom & does not wash his hands & you know it.
He says you did a job well done & he wants to shake your hand.
You have no choice but to shake it but with a little esitance.
It would be disrespectful.
____________
Dreaming of a Better World

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TitaniumAlloy
TitaniumAlloy


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
posted December 11, 2006 05:28 PM

I hope that's not like a golden shower.
____________
John says to live above hell.

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russ
russ


Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
posted January 02, 2007 11:25 PM

Quote:
I hope that's not like a golden shower.
Now we know what you're into!

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Binabik
Binabik


Responsible
Legendary Hero
posted January 03, 2007 12:09 AM

If I get laid off, they don't owe me a thing. If I quit, I don't owe them a thing. So we are even.

It's a very simple formula. When I work I get paid, when I don't work I don't get paid.

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted January 03, 2007 05:50 AM

TNT dont you want a golden Handshake from Russty?
____________
Dreaming of a Better World

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Trogdor
Trogdor


Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
posted January 03, 2007 06:03 AM

Quote:
TNT dont you want a golden Handshake from Russty?

I think he wants a golden shower instead.......
____________
"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu

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setitetart
setitetart


Known Hero
Reality check....
posted July 24, 2007 10:28 AM

Quote:
I thought I might make a topic on this since there's no other forum that talks about this.

Golden Handshakes

A golden handshake is the final payout given to an employee who is being fired or retiring from the job. More often than not, the golden handshake system favours those who haven't worked at their line of employment for very long. These people get huge cash payouts whereas the long-time employees get a plaque at most.

What I am trying to do is this: Anyone can do this, tell us your ideal golden handshake, but there are a few rules to follow first:

1)If you are fired, select a reward that costs less than a thousand Aussie dollars.

2)If you work for a short amount of time but quit because of a new job offer, the limit is $50,000 Aussie dollars.

3)If you quit your job after a long period of time and your retiring (at least 10 years employment), the limit is $150,000 Aussie dollars.

If your unsure on the rate of Aussie dollars, feel free to check the current rates on this site.

Remember to post your secret handshakes like the following:

1)fired secret handshake
2)quit after working for short time
3)quit or retire after working 10 years or more

Here's my secret handshake:

1)$1000 in cash (to spend on cash)
2)A boat plus some spare cash
3)A new HSV plus spare cash


Wait...hold up. LOL
Is this something that really happens over there? Seriously?
Because if it does a peson could conceiveably live off of their would-be severance pays from their short order jobs....working minimally.
LOL. Weird.
____________
"Do you think we should drive a stake through his heart, just in case?"
~ Peter Lorre to Vincent Price at Bela Lugosi's funeral

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