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| Thread: Sperm Donation |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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kookastar
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posted February 12, 2007 08:59 AM |
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Sperm Donation
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QUEENSLAND fertility clinics have issued an SOS for sperm donors.
Faced with a dire shortage of donors, one clinic has started importing sperm from the US.
Obstetrician David Molloy said local supplies had dwindled since new guidelines were introduced allowing the identification of biological fathers once their donor children turned 18.
source
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Illingworth says: "More than 85 per cent of parents have no intention of telling their children the truth. We still hear of horror stories when children find out about their biological parents by chance and they are badly affected by it."
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Myfanwy Walker was told her genetic father was an anonymous sperm donor, three days after her 20th birthday. She was she was determined to find out who he was.
It was only when her photograph was published on the front page of The Australian that Michael Linden realised Myfanwy was his daughter.
Linden contacted the Donor Conception Support Group immediately and was introduced to Myfanwy.
"It was strange at first as we all had to work out our relationship with each other," he says. "But we are now comfortable and see each other regularly. It is amazing how similar we are in appearance – we even walk the same way."
Despite knowing the truth, Myfanwy is against her own method of conception. She believes parents are presented with a happy picture when they conceive a child by IVF or sperm donor, but the agony, pain and rights of the donor child are often not taken into account.
Regardless, Myfanwy has a close relationship with her genetic father. "He's like a stepdad to me, without the responsibility. Initially the relationship was pretty intense but now it's settled down.
"It's rather like having an extended family, although I still find it very confusing as I figure out where I fit in all this."
source
This is a complex issue, but a fairly simple one too I guess. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this:
1. Would you be a sperm/ovum donor? If so would you want to remain anonymous?
2. What kind of people do you think become sperm donors and why?
3. Should parents tell their children that they were concieved with donated sperm?
4. If you had a sperm donor for a biological father - would you want to know?
5. How do you think you would feel, having a child with an anonymous biological father/mother? Is this pot luck? Does it really matter?
If you know anyone who has been on any side of this story, I'm also interested to know their experiences.
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russ
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blah, blah, blah
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posted February 12, 2007 10:38 PM |
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This is a complex issue, but a fairly simple one too I guess. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this:
1. Would you be a sperm/ovum donor? If so would you want to remain anonymous?
Sure! What´s the harm in this? You get paid really good $$$ for something you do all the time, not to mention spreading your genes. I don´t know why I never did it before.
2. What kind of people do you think become sperm donors and why?
I -think- that usually people desperate for money do it (which probably isnt such a good thing for their future kids).
3. Should parents tell their children that they were concieved with donated sperm?
It should be their choice. If they are not comfortable telling this, then - no.
4. If you had a sperm donor for a biological father - would you want to know?
Good question... probably yes. But then, again, if I was in that situation my opinion may have been different.
5. How do you think you would feel, having a child with an anonymous biological father/mother? Is this pot luck? Does it really matter?
No idea, but I would assume it would feel weird. Do the people who receive it at least get to see the profile of the sperm donor (i.e. that he is not hideous, or an alcoholic)?
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Trogdor
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posted February 13, 2007 06:01 AM |
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Quote:
1. Would you be a sperm/ovum donor? If so would you want to remain anonymous?
That would depend on the situation, but I won't rule it out just yet. If I were to donate my sperm I would definately want to remain anonymous.
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2. What kind of people do you think become sperm donors and why?
The people who become sperm/ovum donors are the ones whose other halves are unable to bear children due to deficiencies.
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3. Should parents tell their children that they were concieved with donated sperm?
I guess they should tell at the same time as they would usually tell children about the birds and the bees.
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4. If you had a sperm donor for a biological father - would you want to know?
I probably would, not that I'd be offended or anything, they are just like everyone else.
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5. How do you think you would feel, having a child with an anonymous biological father/mother? Is this pot luck? Does it really matter?
Like the child with the anonymous I would also try to find out, and as the donor is anonymous the only way to work it out is through a DNA test.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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Binabik
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posted February 13, 2007 09:49 AM |
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This is kind of an interesting topic for me, because some of the issues are similar to adoption. The first online forum I actively posted in was an adoption "triad" forum....triad = adopted child, biological parents, and adopting parents. (me being the biological parent, or "b-dad" for short)
1. Would you be a sperm/ovum donor? If so would you want to remain anonymous?
I'm too old to donate, but if I did, I would much prefer to be anonymous.
I think a law requiring the donor to be available for contact from the child is a very bad law. I think something similar to an adoption registry is a much better option. If both parties sign up to allow contact, then whoever runs the registry contacts both people and gives out identifying information (names, phone numbers, etc). Either person can sign up for, or leave the registry at any time.
2. What kind of people do you think become sperm donors and why?
Initially I was going to say the same thing as Russ, that many/most people who donate do it for the money. But then I read in your linked article that it's illegal to get paid for it in Australia. I only *assume* they get paid in the US, but really don't know for sure. If Australia is importing sperm, it would probably be a good idea for anyone considering IVF to look into the regulations from whatever country the sperm comes from.
3. Should parents tell their children that they were conceived with donated sperm?
Yes. I think they should explain it whenever the child is able to understand how it's normally done and why this is different. The article says that 85% of parents have no intention of telling their child. Is this much different than a child with a step-father who is the only father the child knows? My guess is that most kids with step-parents are told about it.
Besides, I think there is a very good chance they will figure it out anyway. They not only have their "father" to compare themselves to, but his entire side of the family including grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. And that brings up the question of telling grandparents and other relatives. They can figure it out also....so how far is the lie going to go?
4. If you had a sperm donor for a biological father - would you want to know?
Yes. No. I mean yes. I mean I would want my "dad" to be my "real" dad. I wouldn't want the truth to be the truth, but I would want to know it anyway. Otherwise I think I'd feel like I was lied to and may really resent it if I found out later in life.
But that's just me. I know with adopted kids, they have different feelings on this issue. I think the majority want to know, but not all. I think the best thing is for the parents to know and understand their child and decide what‘s best on an individual basis.
5. How do you think you would feel, having a child with an anonymous biological father/mother? Is this pot luck? Does it really matter?
I think it's always a genetic pot luck even when using the normal method. I think it's a matter of how much faith we have in the sperm banks to properly and reliably filter out the worst genetic cases.
I was just talking to someone in private about this and they responded with "nurture over nature". The gene pool in the sperm bank is likely to be fairly clean compared to the population as a whole. And with the worst filtered out, I agree that a loving nurturing family is more important than the gene pool. But I would certainly do a lot of research.
And if I knew someone who was considering this, I would strongly recommend finding an online forum or RL group who is directly involved in this. Listen to what everyone has to say, especially the kids point of view. And also find out if there are things the authorities aren't telling us. Keeping in mind of course that the many of the people in groups like that are either people who had a great experience, or a very bad experience. So they might not reflect what is "typical". If there's no donor forum, then an adoption forum would be the next closest thing.
I wanted to get into some of the emotions involved with adoption, but I've never learned the art of brevity. Some of those emotions won't apply at all to sperm donation, but some would be very similar. (like the child’s desire to search for their bio father, and the parents reaction and fear about this)
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Binabik
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posted February 13, 2007 10:50 AM |
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to continue:
One thing I'm curious about is how many "children" can one donor have? Is it possible for a child conceived using IVF to have hundreds, or even thousands of half brothers and sisters? There's a real ethical question about how many should be allowed.
Anyway.
There are several common emotions involved with adoption. A couple of them wouldn't apply to donated sperm/ovum. The child's feeling of being rejected by the bio parents wouldn't apply. And a bio parent changing their mind or being forced to give up the child against their will wouldn't apply.
I think the desire of the child to search for their bio parent would still be common, and in some cases almost an obsession. In turn, this can cause anxiety in the parents giving them the feeling that they aren't good enough, that they aren't the "real" parent, that the bio parent will become a substitute and replace them.
The adopted kids I've talked to agree without exception that the parents who raised them and loved them are their parents. The desire to find their bio parents has nothing to do with inadequacy of their parents.
(the term "parents" without the "bio" prefix ALWAYS refers to the parents who raised the child)
Basically its like they have something missing, like there is a hole in their lives. It's a matter of finding identity. They ask the question "who am I?". I think people who are "normal" don't really understand this feeling because they know who they are and what their background is. But what if you didn't know if you are Australian, or American, or German, or Irish. What if your biology was a complete blank. Who are your grandparents? What is your ancestry?
These might not be things we think about on a daily basis, but there is something reassuring about knowing who we are in the genetic sense. There's a subtle reassurance with knowing what nationality our ancestry is.
People get more interested in genealogy as they get older. It's the very same question of who we are. We want to know who our great great great great grandmother was. Was she nobility? Was she a maid, or a farmer's wife? It's all part of who we are. With an adopted child or a child conceived through donated sperm, this is all a complete blank.
And the parents need to understand this and not feel threatened by it. In the same way the search for a great grandparent isn't a rejection of the parent, neither is the search for a biological parent. It's in addition to, not in place of the parent.
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kookastar
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posted February 13, 2007 11:21 AM |
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It is interesting to think of the whole multiple offspring by the one donor thing. Not sure what the laws are, but I am assuming there would be some...
There is that whole soap opera fear of finding out the man you are in love with is really your biological half brother  .
Thanks everyone for your replies. I appreciate it 
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uhuh
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alcibiades
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posted February 13, 2007 11:28 AM |
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I'll make a short one here.
I always thought to my self that I would be perfectly ok with donating sperm - after all, what would the problem be? However, one or two years ago, they announced that they needed doners, and I gave it a serious thought, and decided against it, for the time being at least - because it felt - strange; the thought of having children somewhere without knowing of them was more than I was quite ready for at the moment.
That being said, I think it's crucial for the whole concept of sperm donation that you ensure 100 % anonymity. I think a lot of guys do it because it's easy money, and in the same time you're helping others who have a problem out with their problem - and there are no strings attached, so to speak. However, if your child will get the option of finding you later, that is no longer the case, and personally, that would for me rule out any willingness to ever donate - who knows what mess will come of somebody possibly showing up in 18 years, telling me I'm their father, and what would they want from me? No thanks ...
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What will happen now?
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Binabik
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posted February 13, 2007 12:19 PM |
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A quote from the link.
"Out of the 566 sperm and egg donors on its 1988 register, 2180 children were born. The figures dropped dramatically in 1998. Out of the 208 donors, 296 children were born."
The context had to do with a decrease in donors after 1998. But legally it looks like one donor can sire a least 4 children.
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kookastar
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posted February 13, 2007 12:45 PM |
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Wow.
I guess not only would you be thinking "who is my bio-dad", but how many half siblings do I have out there... that would be a pretty big deal to deal with...
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uhuh
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Binabik
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posted February 13, 2007 12:53 PM |
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Yea, when the technology for IVF was first available, it was really controversial. There's a lot of ethical questions surrounding it.
And the day of cloning is not far off.....
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Aculias
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posted February 13, 2007 12:55 PM |
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I think it can be a mixture.
Sure there are ways to get women pregnant when thier body functions cant do it the old fashion way.
Some women would like thier own child but have a hard time with thier lovers for any reasons.
For the men it could be for the money but sometimes it can have a guilty feeling that it's yours & you might not see him or her.
I think the emotions are different for both male & females.
Either way it's a good idea for the wrong or right reasons.
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kookastar
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posted February 13, 2007 12:58 PM |
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Quote:
And the day of cloning is not far off..
This is a whole new thread But I actually think that cloning could help elleviate some of this - I mean, there'd be no need for sperm donors - you'd know exactly where your genes came from...
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uhuh
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Fortress_fan
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posted February 18, 2007 10:58 AM |
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Donations should be forbidden! It is against the morale, and is just as bad as masturbating.
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kookastar
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posted February 18, 2007 11:12 AM |
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is against the morale...
so you mean my archer's don't get to shoot this round
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and is just as bad as masturbating
so you do think it is an invigorating, mind clearing, relaxing, stimulating, and grand thing 
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uhuh
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Fortress_fan
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posted February 18, 2007 11:20 AM |
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It is EVIL, god has forbiden it!
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Binabik
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posted February 18, 2007 11:22 AM |
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+3 morale means there's a 12.5% chance of re-masturbating.
-3 morale means there's a 12.5% chance of freezing up.
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Fortress_fan
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posted February 18, 2007 11:25 AM |
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You might have fun now, but after your death...
Evil shall be destroyed!
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kookastar
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posted February 18, 2007 11:31 AM |
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K 
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uhuh
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Binabik
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posted February 18, 2007 11:36 AM |
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Quote:
You might have fun now, but after your death...
After my death I'm going to turn into a yellow smiley? WOW!! That's pretty cool!!!
But wait, what if I want to be a blue or a green smiley?
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kookastar
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posted February 18, 2007 12:38 PM |
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What if the red smilie gets poor morale from being an  masturbator so the  , lonely smilie gets lucky with the  chickybabe smiley and donates some sperm... what will the offspring be
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uhuh
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