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| Thread: Marriage, is it needed? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 29, 2007 05:03 PM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 17:06, 29 May 2007.
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Marriage, is it needed?
This is something I just thought about. What is the purpose of marriage? And by marriage I mean going through a seromony of some sort and having it black and white on paper.
It sounds silly to you because it’s been done for God knows how long and it’s “just what people do” But think about it. What’s the use of doing it like we do it nowadays? Why can’t two people just agree to love each other and then live together?
You’ll probably say that then they aren’t allowed to be with other people. But the other half could instead just go “If you ever sleep with someone else than me I’ll leave you”. That should be enough motivation to stay loyal. And if it’s not, well, then maybe those two people aren’t meant to be together.
You’ll also say that then they are obliged to share all their possessions. Two people could do that without being married, couldn’t they? If they love each other enough.
And perhaps you’ll tell me that it’s the ultimate sign of love, committing to anther human being. But in the end, what does it change, having it written down somewhere? You’ll still have him/her with you at all times and, if you wish, only to yourself. All you have to do is to make an agreement with your partner.
Also, you might have something to say about kids. That you’re only allowed to have them with your partner. Again, could be agreed to only have children with each other. And if you say that the world would be overcrowded if everyone was to have children with anyone, that’s just stupid. Many people have children before getting married, sometimes with many different people, some feel that it’s okay to do so during their marriage, and of course, people divorce and get other wives/husbands and have more kids. So it’s not about marriage, overcrowding.
Because nowadays if you’re married to someone who later turns out to be a pain in the arse, if you’ll pardon my french, you’ll just have to stick with him/her because otherwise he/she would leave you with nothing in case of divorce or he/she doesn’t want to divorce you and then there’s the legal crap...
Now, I’m not saying that marriage is a bad thing, not at all. I mean, I’m so young I don’t even know much about it and there’s probably a lot I don’t yet understand. It’s just something I’ve been wondering. There’s got to be something I’m missing, humans wouldn’t do something for over 3000 years for no reason at all whatsoever.
So…At the moment I say that marriage isn’t needed. You do your part and try to prove me wrong And then we can do the quote war thing. It’s going to be so much fun! Just like the deceased IGUOBIG(I Gave Up On Believing In God) May it rest in peace
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted May 29, 2007 05:40 PM |
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Edited by Consis at 17:41, 29 May 2007.
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Marriage
This is something that is a basic building block for every society since the dawn of recorded history and probably even before. It is so intrinsic and significant that libraries have entire sections devoted to the concept/idea of marriage. There is no single post that can possibly sufficiently cover this topic. Indeed even with all the books that have been written all over the world over many thousands of years still have not been able to adequately describe and understand the meaning of marriage.
Marriage is a societal building block with roots that reach into every single part of the community and individual. It is religious, political, common sense, scientific, and even enigmatic. It can affect everything from the presidency of a nation to the individually executed decision-making process that helps lead to self definition.
I would suggest that a good successful post to this thread would address marriage by specific means per post such as a string of posts along these lines of implications:
1. Marriage - Political
2. Marriage - Family (with and without children)
3. Marriage - Scientific (societal & psychological process of self identification)
4. Marriage - Religious
Perhaps there are more categories that I am unable to think of at the moment. I will make three posts addressing marriage on the four key categories that I have listed. Perhaps there is also a historical context as well but I am unsure if it deserves it's own category.
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Roses Are Red And So Am I
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 29, 2007 05:56 PM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 19:24, 29 May 2007.
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Wow...
Well, you post your points about those categories and I'll try to argue. (Good Lord, what am I doing? Arguing with Consis...)
Edit: Come on, more opinions, more aguments!
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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executor
Famous Hero
Otherworldly Ambassador
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posted May 29, 2007 08:13 PM |
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Edited by executor at 20:15, 29 May 2007.
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As I fully second Consis' opinion, I can only add one thing:
A couple's relationship should be stable and last 'the longer the better', for possible children's sake at least (couples that are willing not to have children can skip marriage IMO). By putting the relationship into formal terms(->marriage), society stabilizes it, and the couple has duty of continuing it as long as they can. Also the couple starts to perceive (or is ment to perceive) their relationship as more stable, resposible and not fully free. It is also ment to last as long as possible.
This all has an obvious reason in bringing up children. A single parent rarely can manage it well(and if one does, I would call him/her a hero), and family breakdown is one of the worst things that can happen to a child. I know a few such 'children'(they are adult now ), and I can say for sure it was very damaging to their psychic. And marriage makes it much harder for a family to break, and forces parents to be responsible for keeping their relationship *alive*.
I, personally, want to be a good husband (and father) one day , not just partner. And I pray for my future wife being also *good* .
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Understanding is a three-edged sword.
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Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
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posted May 29, 2007 09:26 PM |
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just my two cents...
marriage is simply a contract... a way for people to get off your back (the ever present peer pressure, especially for women) and a way to ensure your progeny will inherit all the things you own without having to jump through a dozen more hoops
if a couple stays together simply because they are married, then they lost the game already ...there is no proof whatsoever that a ceremony (religious or otherwise) enhances whatever feelings they have for each other ...getting married is not some magical "cure-all" for relationships, or there would be no divorces or cheating
not to mention that marriage probably goes against a number of our instincts ...ah well, in the end i guess most go with "if it ain't broken, don't fix it" ...the question however is... is it broken?
that said, marriage IS needed, at least in the form our society has at the moment, be it for legal, social or religious reasons, if two people plan to create a family, getting married is a typical but necessary step
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You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
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executor
Famous Hero
Otherworldly Ambassador
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posted May 29, 2007 10:27 PM |
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@lith
I agree that marriage does not change feelings, yet, as I said, it slightly forces the couple to care for further existence of their relationship more, to prevent it becoming 'dead', in some way.
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Understanding is a three-edged sword.
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted May 30, 2007 01:02 AM |
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The answer, straight up from someone that has been married twice. NO! It is a contract that binds two people together by a law binding contract. It changes your status in regards to taxes, health insurance, and well, how bad the other one can jack your credit up. It is suppose to be that you are declaring yourself true to that person in the eyes of God, state, and ones own self.
The contract of Holy Macaroni (LOL) in a nutshell:
1. It makes for a great excuse to yell at the world,"This is why you are with the one that makes you feel like crap all the time! This is why I am you are too weak to stand on your; it is this damn marriage that is bringing you down the river of fecal matter." I'm legally bonded to this person, it is a lot harder then you think to leave. Marriage provides excuse.
2. Some would say that in the eyes of our oh so forgiving God, we must be married to live together and have sex. So you have those people that will get married to just be able to have intercourse with the one they love, to just please their religious core. What a great reason to to tie the unforgiving knot; no really you keep thinking that is the right thing to do, and then bring kids into it; Cherry on top of the caved in cake.
3. A piece of paper that is framed, hanging on the wall to cover that hole that almost took off your head. Wow, what a waste of a tree, some owl is without a home, you should be ashamed.
4. A single institution! INSTITUTION? Enough said on that one.
5. Marriage: A list of to-do's. To do is to be rewarded with affection and sex. To do is to have peace...To do is to have her look at you and tell you that you have not done enough.....Or to have him cup your face, and still tell you that you are not good enough, and never will be. A to-do list that is full of empty promises, resentment, and hatred for the one you are suppose to love.
6. A certificate that warrants you showing off your parents money and a three thousand dollar ring that signifies a"ROCK", a rock that is tied to your ankle as you sink to the bottom of the stagnant river that you call marriage. To leave you there gasping on your own tears, and wondering what you did to deserve this, what could I have done to be without breath.
So, for me marriage signifies this....
M= Memories.... unwanted.
A= Acceptance..not given
R= Retaliation...For loving them too much and yourself not enough
R= Resentment...unstated
I= Insight... unseen
A= Assassination...of what you once were
G= Guilt...For false accusations
E= excommunicated...For not wanting to live through hell
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted May 30, 2007 11:57 PM |
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Edited by Consis at 23:58, 30 May 2007.
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 31, 2007 09:37 PM |
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That's interesting...
Great opinions, everyone!
Oh and Executor, that's a fair point. Although if two people are good enough to care about their kids, I suspect that they would care for their kids even if they weren't binded by the law...
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted June 01, 2007 01:28 AM |
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That is very true Spec... The contract is not what makes you a father or mother. It does not provide love to them in anyway shape or form. Good reply..
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted June 01, 2007 02:37 PM |
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Thank you, VF
Any more opinions? Arguments?
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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executor
Famous Hero
Otherworldly Ambassador
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posted June 01, 2007 08:43 PM |
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Well, I meant thet through marriage the society forces the couple to be more responsible for the future of the fam,ily thy create... if they aren't 'good enough', as you, Spectrum, said. There number of people that are 'good enough' is less than nmber of those who want to have families ..., and that's why regulations are needed from society's piont of view.
Ofc if the couple is 'good enough', they do not need to marry under my terms, but how can they know that before they create a family?
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Understanding is a three-edged sword.
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bixie
Promising
Legendary Hero
my common sense is tingling!
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posted June 02, 2007 12:00 AM |
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generally speaking, marriages can be created then destroyed faster than a hut made out of dynamite.
think of the las vegas drive-thru marriages, and the drive-thru divorce at the other end. personally, i think the "Death do us part" bit should be changed to "till death or a better wife/husband shows up do us part".
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Love, Laugh, Learn, Live.
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted June 02, 2007 12:07 AM |
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted June 02, 2007 05:38 AM |
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Many people dream of being married since they were young.
Dream of getting married at a church.
Mostly it's just a written document saying you are legally together.
Some religions state you should be married before you have kids.
I say if you have true love for that person & they feel the same way.
Thats all that counts.
I know many who are not married.
Basically a piece of paper stating you cant have fun or talk to another woman again .
Vegas usually will end up in a divorce orless the love is true.
2 reasons.
Way too young or Elope.
I mean who would want to get married in vegas when you can get married in any other state or in your own home.
GOOTCHY & Marie I want to see wedding pics soon you pretty people
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted June 02, 2007 04:50 PM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 19:45, 02 Jun 2007.
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Quote:
think of the las vegas drive-thru marriages, and the drive-thru divorce at the other end. personally, i think the "Death do us part" bit should be changed to "till death or a better wife/husband shows up do us part".
Well in Vegas it's more like "Till dawn do us part"...
I agree with Pecu here. Just to add:
Quote:
Some religions state you should be married before you have kids.
This is true. But my point still remains why? Why would God want people to have it on paper. I thought God only cared that people love each other
Still, no religious discussion here, if it can be avoided. Only if you have a valid point about marriage that has to do with religion
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted June 02, 2007 09:46 PM |
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To keep them civilized.
We dont want 200billion kids running around all over one state.
Religion is what keeps people in check.
Think of the crime spree & the population if there was no religion.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted June 03, 2007 10:04 AM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 10:07, 03 Jun 2007.
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Sorry Acu but that's not the point here. That would belong in a "Religion, is it needed?"-thread, which sounds to me a lot like an Ashrah/Wesley sort of idea So what do you think of marriage? Does that keep people in check?
And besides, religion doesn't stop people from having kids. Far from.
Plus what I said before:
Quote:
Also, you might have something to say about kids. That you’re only allowed to have them with your partner. Again, could be agreed to only have children with each other. And if you say that the world would be overcrowded if everyone was to have children with anyone, that’s just stupid. Many people have children before getting married, sometimes with many different people, some feel that it’s okay to do so during their marriage, and of course, people divorce and get other wives/husbands and have more kids. So it’s not about marriage, overcrowding.
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted June 03, 2007 10:16 AM |
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Marriage, is it needed?
Well, here is my views on Marriage.
In my opinion, Marriage is just the next step in boosting your relationship, and it just brings you closer together with the woman/man.
Of course, it may eventually end, with a big fight, or a whole series of fights or you do not see it is going well for the both of you, but Marriage is a thing that brings people together.
With all the Christians and Catholics out there who believe the thing about no sex before Marriage, well I am sure a lot of people believe that.
So, sex, which is a thing that might come after marriage (if you believe in religion and follow it well), is also a thing in boosting the relationship with your husband or wife.
You see, Marriage comes with many things that boost a relationship, instead of just staying gf and bf forever.
Sure, bf and gf might not sound that bad, well in fact it isn't bad at all, that is the stages in working up in a relationship, then you can propose and then further the relationship.
However, about the sex part, there are many who do have sex before marriage, and that is totally fine in my opinion, nothing wrong with that at all, but I also think that if the girl falls pregnant, well it might not exactly have your last name or anything, since you are not married to the girl or you are not married to the boy or whatever
If you were to have married then had a child, it would have your last name, and that is a good thing of course, because then you are raising a family, something which, in my opinion, you cannot necessarily do if you are just bf and gf.
Marriage, yes it is needed, and I think that marriage is a totally nature and relationship boosting thing.
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted June 03, 2007 10:45 AM |
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I don't think marriage is needed, when you look away from the juridical consequences it has in modern society. That being said, I do think it can be very healthy for some people to do it, because it forces you to make that active decision to stand up and say "yes, this is what I want". Of course, in modern society, the words might ring pretty empty after a couple of years, but the concept does make sense.
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What will happen now?
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