|
| Thread: Koochie Star this ones for you.... |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · «PREV |
|
Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
|
posted July 26, 2007 02:19 AM |
|
|
I'm Edumakatid
And I ain't touchin this with a ten-foot pole!
____________
Roses Are Red And So Am I
|
|
Miru
Supreme Hero
A leaf in the river of time
|
posted July 26, 2007 04:43 AM |
|
|
Its illegal because the minor can't take responsibility for their actions, and don't understand the full risk (unless they are willing to do abortion, which for some bizzare reason most aren't) of getting someone pregnant (I'm just hoping kookie doesn't use her bone marrow to get some innocent young girl pregnant  ).
Chart:
One is over 18
<3 years age difference - some technical kind of rape (for older), felony.
>3 yrs age difference - rape (for older), felony.
Both under 18
<3 yrs diff - don't remember what it's called, misdemeanor.
>3 yrs diff - don't remeber, felony for older, not sure for other.
____________
I wish I were employed by a stupendous paragraph, with capitalized English words and expressions.
|
|
kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
|
|
posted July 26, 2007 01:11 PM |
|
|
Let me start by saying there is never any excuse for sexual abuse of anyone, by anyone.
In response to VF’s words:
I really believe this has nothing to do with medication, probably more a loneliness or just not being able to keep it in their pants. I agree with BAK, I think it is not a question of age that makes a guy jump at free sex with a hot teacher/body. Is the child mature enough to know they want it – sex, yes of course they want it! The question is do they have enough self control to resist something that can turn into something destructive and unhealthy? Well often a teen will not, the teacher must.
I think that boys and girls are equally vulnerable for different reasons. Girls of course fall in “love”, and obsessions can lead them to do things that they know deep down aren’t what they really want. {This is true for some women too}. Boys are maybe less likely to control their sexual urges.
I’m not going to discuss age differences in general relationships here, because that is a whole other world of blah. But let me say, that an Education Degree here {needed to become a registered teacher} is 4 years of study. In Qld, most students finish school at 17, which means new teachers are only 21 years old. There is not a huge gap in age or necessarily maturity between the 21 yo and possibly 18 yo seniors. It is kinda strange when you get older to realize how young some teachers were…
Anyway, that still doesn’t make it ok. I know that many parts of the US have really dodgy teacher training, but I am hoping that inside the cornflake packet where they get their ticket, there is some legal and ethical disclaimer. “Duty of Care” is paramount and the foundation of everything that we do; it is not only a moral, but a legal compass. I could go on about bullying here too, maybe in another thread some time in the very distant future.
So it is the “power”, or the position of “carer” that makes these relationships wrong. These students' parent/s {if they have them} have trusted their flesh and blood to us to take care of, educate, and ensure are safe. There is no excuse really… The amount of paperwork involved in documenting every incident that happens is really quite amazing... anyway…
I don’t think the teachers that have sex with students are getting off on the power, it is probably more likely that this is part of the attraction for girls to male teachers- the knowledge and power. That’s genetically programmed right? The reason why people fall for their bosses, and use president’s penises as cigars… That’s a theory anyway. So yeah, I’d say it is the proximity every day, and the environment being a soup bowl of pheromones. The air is so thick with lust in a 14-15 yo classroom LOL, I wouldn’t go back there without knowing what I do now that’s for sure  Anyway, there must be some crazy inability to remember where they are, who they are, and that these kids are their students, and still teenagers. *shrug* I really can't say what pushes them over the edge - maybe there are theories out there, I don't know, I've never met anyone who has had this happen to them.
I heard about the case with the 13yo boy and that teacher, and I feel so sorry for him. I believe they are in love, yes, but I think it is unhealthy and that she is taking so much from this boy that he will never be able to get back. I’m sure he will regret it one day, but it seems for now he is happy *shrug*. Man 13 is so very, very young *shakes head*.
I was only aware of an occasional case of this happening though. Are there really that many cases in the States of teachers having sex with students? It’s in the media because it is rare, it is something that most teenagers have thought about (I know I fantasized about teachers – some a lot older. Man my physics teacher… I still look for his name when I go to a new school ), so people are interested in reading about it. It’s a taboo, it sells papers or toothpaste. 
Quote:
Do your students ever proposition you, and out of curiosity how is this approach made?
I haven’t been propositioned as such, but students have told me they love me, used default reactions with me, and made it clear in more subtle ways that they have a crush. It is very unsettling… there are so many legal ramifications and we have to report anything that is suspected – at least to a colleague. I ensure I am never alone with those students – ever. Students have been known to twist the reality of situations, or read into things that you do that are really not intended as anything inappropriate – not just sexually. Thankfully the crushes seem to never last longer than 6 months. If any get too full on, I just tell them it’s not appropriate blah blah… I’ve never had to make anything too official *touch wood*. I did have an OMG moment where a 16yo boy told another teacher to tell me he loved me… man I was scared, but he’s over it now thank ICTC {he wasn’t my student at the time}.
I guess for most of the time, crushes are palmed off and you kinda deny it, to yourself, and especially the student – it’s never long and there is someone their own age that gets their attention. It is not only boys that get crushes on female teachers btw – there are girls too. And I’m sure the same is true for boys and male teachers. It is just a fact of life that the people become attracted to others. It is how you deal with this attraction that matters. Just to be clear, I have never thought about a student in that way.
Oh and VF, I know what you meant, but I do think good parenting involves teaching your kid how to put a condom on!
Man I think Vlaad was right... hmm hope I haven't landed in hot water
@Van Halen- LOL, yeah she does look a bit like me, I just got a bad haircut too ‘s k it’ll grow back… 
____________
uhuh
|
|
TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
|
|
posted July 26, 2007 01:54 PM |
|
|
Isn't it more to do with the fact that it's your teacher you're meant to be getting an education (for a career that is ) from, and not shagging?
Rather than prejudice like homophobia or against pedophiles or anything.
If the child is above the age of consent then it's not (necessarily) rape or pedophilia, it's just that it's disrupting the education when the teacher is paid to, well, teach them. About other stuff, than that. Or at least in a less 'hands on' manner, pun is just an added perk
That's what I thought, anyway.
____________
John says to live above hell.
|
|
antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
|
|
posted July 26, 2007 02:15 PM |
|
|
i agree about 1 thing,ethics.
The sole reason its hated is that the teacher has power,and it seems as if the student dont always have a chance to refuse,however it isent so in my case,thats why it wont go to cort.
Howeve on ethics,the teacher that has an afair must first thing quite teaching the specific kid who has afair with,what happens afterwords is not of my buisness.
____________
types in obscure english
|
|
Nidhgrin
Honorable
Famous Hero
baking cookies from stardust
|
|
posted July 26, 2007 09:05 PM |
|
|
I never really had a crush on teachers back when I was still at school. Partially because there were only a few good looking female teachers around, but mostly because I am particularly wary of any kind of authority figures. Parents, teachers, policemen, you name it. They have to do twice as good as anybody else to earn my respect. I just don't like being restrained, unless I can see the relevance and the benefit in the rules and regulations applied.
But I do have some experience with relationships with older women, some of which were much older than me. Since I see some similarities with Antipaladin's story, maybe it's worth telling.
I had a long and very difficult relationship, that ended badly about two years after I left highschool. There's no point in going into detail, but some things happened that most people never have to go through in their life, and certainly not at that age. Anyway... it took me a few years to pick up my life again and I had developed a descent fear of bonding, though I didn't realize that back then.
It seems I'm quite flirty. Not intentionally, because I wouldn't know how to flirt if I tried, but I just naturally do. Stepping up to people I don't know and start chatting away when waiting in line, on the train, at a party. I don't know why, but my behaviour seems to be catchy, and is oftenly interpreted the wrong way.
Because of the fear of bonding I had, I found myself running from women of my age as soon as chemistry came into play. Probably because I figured older women wouldn't respond to my flirting I felt more comfortable hanging out with them. So comfortable, sometimes I didn't realize they were falling for me until it was too late to run, and some of these relationships even lasted for a while.
When I was 26, I started something with a woman of 39. It was pretty wild, but it didn't last long and when it was over I realized I had really been nothing more than a playtoy. Since that time I've told two women literally that I thought I was too young for them, and didn't see them in that way (even though that wasn't entirely true ). That's kinda blunt, but better blunt than hurt, and one of those women is growing into a good friend right now, which is great
The problem with a partner who is many years older is all about life experience. It may be fun for them at first to watch you realize or experience things for the first time, but after a while it gets boring or painfully confrontational. More than 5 years of age difference generally means you're expecting completely different things from life, and when the initial romance cools down, this is really difficult if you want to set common goals and share a part of your life together. Another thing is friends and family, who don't understand, sometimes do not accept the relationship, and believe your partner is taking advantage of you. In the long run it just doesn't work... My last two relationships were with women of my age, and even though they didn't work out as well, those relationships were much much healthier than the ones before.
I also have some experience from the opposite perspective. It's obvious that power and status do play an important role, especially to younger women, it seems.
Two summers ago I was attacked by a 16 year old girl at a party. She thought I was a lifeguard, even after I had told her I was not. She also thought the age difference was very romantic  Brilliant...
My self esteem has had a great boost after I got promoted at work, and obtained a place in the management team. But not so much the fact that I'm much more confident about myself, but the tag next to my name has changed the way certain women behave towards me at work. Being who I am I'd hate to take advantage of that, and it's caused more embarrasment than fun so far. I don't understand it, or why women would try to make colleagues look bad, or even mess things up real bad to get your attention. All because of a title? Got a little tougher and more self confident but other than that, deep down I'm still the same person. I don't have a clue...
And to end this slightly off topic reply, I think part of the responsibility of playing a role of authority is to not exploit that role for personal benefit. That also implies protecting people under your authority against themselves, and confronting them with the fact that you're only human, and not better or worse than them due to your position. After a while, most of them will respect you more for relating to them on their level, and they become far more loyal than they are to other managers.
|
|
Miru
Supreme Hero
A leaf in the river of time
|
|
posted July 27, 2007 05:31 PM |
|
|
Quote:
but he’s over it now thank ICTC {he wasn’t my student at the time}.
OMG it was that serious?! Invoking ICTC can be a bad, bad thing
____________
I wish I were employed by a stupendous paragraph, with capitalized English words and expressions.
|
|
kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
|
|
posted July 27, 2007 09:42 PM |
|
|
Being involved with a student is a very bad thing yeah, and even the rumour of it, so yeah, I was worried And you are correct ICTC is a powerful thing *crossing chest and spanking buttocks*
____________
uhuh
|
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
|
posted July 30, 2007 04:38 PM |
|
|
I was only kidding when I asked you about a student approaching you, but that is fascinating to me. I think that I will avoid the classroom jobs for now. Between the trigger happy ADD children and horny boys it sounds like one big trap.
I have heard of students blackmailing their teachers into passing them or they would say that they were having sex. It is like a story I read recently about a stepfather who was trying to discipline his step daughter.
She was getting into trouble all the time and the mother had no control over her. Well the daughter was pissed and cried wolf about him trying to have sex with her. They got divorced, thousands on lawyers, and in the end she admitted she was lying. But not before he lost everything and had to move just because the thought of that title over his head made his life hell.
|
|
kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
|
|
posted July 30, 2007 09:12 PM |
|
|
It is always a concern, but I think those cases are rare {*touch wood*). It is frustrating though, the other day I was on bus duty and a girl in my grade 8 class missed her bus. I was driving straight past where she lived on my way home {about a 40min walk for her} but couldn't give her a lift home - because of this. (she has no mum and her dad couldn't leave work). Anyway, blah, that is just one example of how it affects what you do.
If you are thinking of teaching, it's not all bad (although US teachers are way under valued). For every 5 challenging students there is one who can make you . But it is stressful, and don't expect to be thanked too often hehee.
____________
uhuh
|
| |
|
|
