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marzycielka
Tavern Dweller
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posted March 17, 2008 11:25 PM |
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ICTC- Planars
You thought I was just threatening? Nooo! I made my project; it took ma a month... I hardly fit before deadline, but ok...
"Word" helps me avoiding mistakes, but don't mind if there's any I didn't recognize.  Names may sound awkward, completely not Fantasy-like. but they're not as important as things/creatures described, I think ^^ So, here I go:
Planars
About the Nationality/Castle...
Symbols:
Symbols appearing on flags and family crests: wings with finger-like feathers, serpent, blue orca, spider making a cloud of web.
Emblem:
green: [url]http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z188/arvelia_album/embl03ziel.jpg[/url]
peach:
[url]http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z188/arvelia_album/embl03peach.jpg[/url]
Castle:
Castle seems "attached" to atmosphere. Cosmos with stars and moon are close over it and a "sea" of clouds beneath. The castle resembles a mountain hanging from the sky. In the air around, there are also huge rocks levitating. Also, thousands of medium and small rock float. Rocks are the place for homes and dwellings. You can get from one to another by jumping rocks close to each other. Foreigners find it extremely difficult to find way successfully, but inhabitants are specialized.
A veeeeery unclear draft, as people here assume: http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/ContestDraft1-80150774
[bPlanars:
*"Planar" is not only a word describing human shape inhabitants. Universal, strong religion united Planars that all creatures are treated as one race.
*Human-like inhabitants are light and thin, their skin is quite pale (but not white) most common hair colours: blonde, light blue, black shining with blue. Clothes are loose and in light colour, they resemble ancient roman togas. Many bracelets, diadems, necklaces are worn. Planars never wear anything covering head. (Look of non-human shape creatures is in Creature section, below ^^)
*Planars hate darkness and are claustrophobic, hate being underground. They can be described as religious, (but not fanatic!) brave, logically thinking, world curious and scrupulous. Some people say they can become too serious sometimes (never gloomy).
As Adrius suggested, I added a Racial skill. It was meant to be useful...  but I'm affraid of your reaction...
Racial skill: Energy Craft
(Use of solar energy)
Except 2 normal statistics- health and mama, Planars have got the third, collected Energy.
Ways to collect/lose:
*It grows a few units per day, like mana, (but never while the hero is underground, with no sun!). But also it changes after each fight- a number is added for killed creatures (the stronger creature, the more points we get) and a number is taken for lost creatures in our army(the stronger creature lost, the more points we lose).
Use for what:
* Just before a fight, in the moment of choosing position of armies, you can trade Energy for upgrading a creature to higher level. (it’s an ability, at the beginning you can trade for only Level 1 creatures, but if the skill is developed, there’s more available)
* You can trade Energy for resources
* The amount of Energy collected reflects on Initiative/Defense in fight (depends on skills of the hero). It may also be exchanged for mana or health of chosen creature in fight. (price depends on skills)
History:
If I was native speaker it would be longer, but whatever:
The race exists as long as our galaxy; Planars believe they were born from the stars. This is a society of peace, art, culture and intelligence, held together by strong religious belief. Planars, living high above other civilizations of this world were so far from the wars and problems of other nations. BUT... the impartiality of Planars could't last longer, when one day an allied army od Daemons and Necropolis caught and killed a group of Tunder Serpents. Serpents are worshipped by Planars as gods, so they decided to interfere in "Undercloud world"'s life, for them not to stay unpunished. Planars are careful and not especially keen on alliances. They also won't fight without serious reason like f.ex. for fame.
Technical info:
On the game map, heroes of Planars will ride on pegasus as horses.
(In you accept my offer, I can give more details about each dwelling, animations, history, heroes etc.)
Creatures
Proportions:I realised there are some proportions... I used it like this:
* 2 shooters, 2 flying, 3 infantry
* 4x1-square, 3x4-square
Level: One of 7 levels of creatures. I don't know the name in English but I mean, tat for example dragons are always 7 level creatures, and skeletons 1... 
Dwelling: Obviously, building where we "buy" this army. I'm awkward in English names, so don't mind them
Stronger in: I won't insert any concrete statistics numbers... I just don't know how buil the statistics to work well. but I mark if a creature is stronger in attack than in defense (attack +) or stronger in defense than in attack (defense +)
Type: Here I'll mark whether the creature is: infantry, flies or shooter.
Size: if it's a 1-square creature or 1 4-square one... you know what I mean
Spell: a proposition of spells it can cast. I know the spells won’t be exactly like in current parts of games, so I use wide terms (ex. A curse/ a blessing/ a damage-causing spell...)
Look: all drawings by me ^^
Look:
A meat-eating plant that shoots spikes. It normally grows on rock but can move out of ground and fight. Does well in fight against mechanical creatures (like golems).
Sketch: [url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/ContestDraft3-80155110[/url]
Look: [url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/Contest07-80156462[/url]
"Starborn" are magic Planar creatures born from star energy which comes into atmosphere in shape of comets. These creatures are raised as pets or used in battles, but they mainly live freely in the Planars’ territory. Stage I creature has two tails, stage II has four tails and wears light armory. The creatures are luminous and are source of heat. They resist fire and water/ice based spells.
Look (may be unclear but I was doing my best): [url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/Contest01-80143852[/url]
It's a kind of orca Astral Temple cleric. In these particular dangerous times, they also serve in army.
Prayer's arms are winged, but creatures can't fly. You can simply remark: a Prayer has no stomach. The body is divided into two parts held together magically. (It uses solar energy to live, so doesn't need organs to eat, breathe etc. But soon dies when being long time without light.)
Sketch: [url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/ContestDraft5-80155787[/url]
Look: [url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/Contest06-80155306[/url]
Spiders in Fantasy are always black with purple or green. I decided to make it orange, inspires by one species brachypelma smithi ([url]http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/1244/60003065.JPG[/url])
Cloud Web Spider produces extra soft cloud-like web. It is used by Planars to produce fabric and animal itself uses it to catch prey: the spider feeds on flying creatures as birds but also pegasus or angels... In personality, Cloud Web Spiders prove tranquil and mild.
Look: [url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/Contest02-80143976[/url]
This canine lives in wet, misty forest of Planar world. It lives in large family groups. It has long black-bluish fur.
Because of its ability to jump far and move very fast, "the wolf" reaches enemy for the attack and quickly prevents counterattack.
Draft: [url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/ContestDraft2-80154348[/url]
Look:
[url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/Contest03-80144226[/url]
[url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/Contest04-80144698[/url]
Those are minor gods, people's helpers and guardians Heaven/Star Orca is a creature that doesn’t need to breathe for days, so it is capable of living in vacuum, on the opposite side of atmosphere layer, on the top of the Castle.
Draft: [url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/ContestDraft4-80155588[/url]
Look: [url]http://wielkiduchii.deviantart.com/art/Contest05-80146312[/url]
These mystic creatures are worshipped as Gods. They can be materialized into visible form in an immense half-magic, half-mechanical symbol "marked" on the surface of the layer of clouds. The creature has two tongues. Stege II creature has milder colours than stage I one.
Fundamentals
My suggestions:
* I won't miss caravans, they're not necessary
* no heroes in battlefield like in H4
* NO creatures moving independently or population growing each day as in H4! Standard from H3 and H5 is more comfortable (population grows in a week, no alone creatures)
* Upgrades- no alternatives as in H4 (for ex. tiger or elf. I couldn't decide...). Only one way to upgrade creatures. But it could be 3 stages of each creature instead of 2.
* More free missions and campaigns with puzzles to solve- questions, equation... (er... I can’t think of more words in English but you know what I mean ^^)
* A few alternative ways to win a mission, not just one.
* Some special Not-human heroes, for ex. A unicorn or rakshasa (of course with human speech)
* Maybe use different resources? Somethin else than gems, sulfur and so. And why not new currency?
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted March 18, 2008 08:50 AM |
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This faction is too cute, too much colours and thingies.
I suppose that this is a h5 town, and to me, Racial skill is the most important and fun part about creating a faction. So let me see a racial skill on your next update.
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marzycielka
Tavern Dweller
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posted March 18, 2008 11:08 AM |
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1.Everyone I know who play heroes are girls. And they not especially enjoy strong ugly creatures, like behemots, for examle... 
2. It's not fair that everything that's urly is made stronger in the game. That, in H4 was baaad
3. Not everyone likes armies of dead creatures or brutal monsters...
4. let play this game someone, who likes armies of animals
Quote:
too much colours
you prefer all black and gold like always...?
Quote:
I suppose that this is a h5 town, and to me, Racial skill is the most important and fun part about creating a faction. So let me see a racial skill on your next update.
Hmm... I'll think about it... 
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 18, 2008 03:26 PM |
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Quote:
2. It's not fair that everything that's urly is made stronger in the game. That, in H4 was baaad
peasant are ugly and they are weak 
Quote:
Quote:
too much colours
you prefer all black and gold like always...?
rather red
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Drunk_Lord
Known Hero
very happy hero :)
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posted March 18, 2008 04:11 PM |
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Quote:
peasant are ugly and they are weak
U've got the point... nerf peasants !
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marzycielka
Tavern Dweller
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posted March 18, 2008 07:37 PM |
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Gosh... not all in one colour, pleeeease. I'll die of OVERJAWNING. ^^
Quote:
peasant are ugly and they are weak
Good point, I avoid buying them!
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marzycielka
Tavern Dweller
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posted March 23, 2008 02:42 PM |
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Is the rest good? Tell me...
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fullmetal
Tavern Dweller
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posted March 23, 2008 05:01 PM |
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Are all those hand drawn by you? They are exceptionally beautiful. I think it's quite a novel idea to go for adorable yet powerful creatures instead of making creatures even more ugly.
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marzycielka
Tavern Dweller
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posted March 23, 2008 09:26 PM |
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Yes, they're hand drawn and coloured with pencils (except 2 stage orca's belly)
Thanks!
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Snatch
Promising
Known Hero
Proud Kappa
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posted March 26, 2008 11:53 PM |
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Cohesiveness: 7/10 (needs some rework, I'm not really fond of plants, orcas and spiders in the clouds or in the sky)
Imagination: 12/15 (you are creative, but it is not more yet than a rather rough diamond)
Back story: 6/10 (short, but solid)
Battle facets: 8/10 (seems to be balancend)
Discretionary: 0/5 (the concept is a bit too chaotic for me yet)
33/50
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Momo
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted March 27, 2008 01:51 AM |
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Cohesiveness: 6/10 points a sufficient mark just because if the flavor is "beasts in the sky" the on fourse we''re going to see various different beasts in the sky. But it could have been done a lot better, even if the theme was this one.
Imagination: 11/15 points Good start, absolutely lacking developement. A good inspiration alone (a civilization that lives in the sky exactly like we do on earth) does not alone a faction make.
Back story: 6/10 points once again... a sufficient mark. There's a story, and makes sense, but not much more than that.
Battle facets: 6/10 points they don't seem unbalanced or bad, but they aren't interesting either. The racial does also too many things at once, and while the dipendence from sunlight is something that pushes a bit of uniqueness into gameplay, it's not much if you don't insert a throng more play sessions underground (as HoMM currently works, you usually play in the sunlight anyway).
Discretionary: 3/5 points for trying to give to the race a cultural distinction, and for trying to identify the creatures by roles; this seem to grasp the importance of both things, but then lacks completely to develop these aspects.
Overall Score: 33/50
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Tobius
Adventuring Hero
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posted March 30, 2008 03:18 PM |
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Edited by Tobius at 15:20, 30 Mar 2008.
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The Planars
Cohesiveness(2+2)=4 You've given no reason why these creatures should stick together
Imagination(3+1+3)=7 Well, somehow uninspired - just cute
Back Story(0+0)=0 Sorry, but I cannot give any points for these few lines
Battle Facets(3+1)=4 OK, there are different types of creatures, but the creature system is completely uninnovative as the creatures' abilities are, too
Discretionary: nothing exceptional here
Total Score=15
How I graded these:
Cohesiveness (Internal Coherence [1-5]+HoMM Compatibility [1-5])
Imagination (Creativity [1-5]+Innovations [1-5]+Originality[1-5])
Back Story (How well it expands on one of the HoMM universes [1-5]+How interesting it was to me [1-5])
Battle Facets (Variety [1-5]+Inventive Aspects [1-5])
Discretionary (Bonus for exceptional efforts[1-5])
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted April 12, 2008 06:38 AM |
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Planars:
FriendofGunnar
cohesiveness 6/10 lots of interesting creatures but they don't stick together well.
originality 12/15
backstory 6/10 no backstory really but the imagery counts for something.
battle facets 6/10
discretionary 5/5 nice sketches
"The body is divided into two parts held together magically. " heheh cool
a refreshingly new faction, although it feels incomplete.
35
Kookastar
Cohesiveness: 6 points
Imagination/creativity/originality/wow factor: 13 It's hard to see these creatures in one of the HOMM games that we're familiar with but I still like it. Nice job
Back story: 6 points
Battle facets: 7 points
Discretionary: 5 points
Total 37
TDL
Cohesiveness(max 10) : 5
Creativity (max 10): 7
Backstory (max 10): 1
Battle Facets (max 15): 7
additional (max 5): 3
most of the competitors are non-native so this has nothing to do with rating… plain faction, nothing new or exceptional
Total (max 50):23
Guest Judge's Score : 27.00 (Judges grades are weighed differently depending on how many factions they graded)
Judges Score: (35 + 37 + 23) / 3 = 31.67
Final Score: 29.33
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