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Heroes Community > Heroes 5 - Temple of Ashan > Thread: Heroes 5 Faction Lessons
Thread: Heroes 5 Faction Lessons [ This thread is 7 pages long: 1 (2) 3 4 5 6 7 ]
DarkShadow
DarkShadow


Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
posted March 29, 2008 02:16 PM

You sound more like wizard libarian

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Elvin
Elvin

Hero of Order
Stillness within Movement
posted March 29, 2008 02:32 PM

Not really but that's better
____________
So the next time your cat leaves a bleeding, twitching corpse on your doormat, remember that she loves you and is just trying to bring out your inner predator.

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Undead_Warrior
Undead_Warrior


Known Hero
I hear voices in my head.
posted March 29, 2008 04:27 PM

my ideea of necropolis wasn't good...
____________
I miss our castle...

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Azagal
Azagal


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
posted March 29, 2008 05:04 PM
Edited by Azagal at 17:05, 29 Mar 2008.

It's fine but in case you didn't notice this was supposed to be FUN/PARODY not your dead serious opinion about the factions ideals but ridiculeing them and exagerting!
____________
"The superior man is modest in
his speech but exceeds in his
actions." Confucius

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zamrai
zamrai


Adventuring Hero
Moonlight Melody
posted April 04, 2008 08:29 AM
Edited by zamrai at 08:36, 04 Apr 2008.

Playing Sylvan: become a Ranger (don't try this at home!)

Elves are happy and everybody wants to be happy so lets be honest: everybody wants to be elves. Even when don't know it yet. We are the part of nature, nature is like a mother for all of us. Don't deny it and live accordingly to the nature's law.

First of all, to reach truly mastery of Sylvan you don't have a choice like take the first step that is:

Live Close To Nature
If you live in a city or in a flat, stop doing this. Surrounded by cold, grey walls you will never understand your true nature. Look around, in your neighbourhood there should be someone who have a house with a garden. So move there with your tent (you already have one, don't you?) or build a house on some big tree. Try to be hidden, you don't have to ask for permission if your presence remain unnoticed.

You are what you eat
If you eat in KFC you can imagine who possibly you became - Kentucky Fried Chicken. So don't be a chicken and eat only natural, fresh vegetables. Use element of surprise, your neighbour coming back from shopping is a perfect target for beggining ranger. Make a crossbow and try to 'ask' for some fresh food. Do it quick and gently - there is one thing that elves truly hate - this is unnecessary violence. If you manage to master attack -> archery skill you will never complain about lack of food.

Support yourself with magic
Expert light magic is not neccesary but more than useful. Try to get a flashlight. Thanks to that you will never get yourself hurt at night. More of that, when some enemy appears (e.g. owner of the garden has just noticed your presence) you can flash him straight in his eyes - blinding him like unicorns do. In case of troubles, you can use summoning magic on some nerby dog which likes you so much to become your troop at the time of combat.

Consider this few things and you will became a great Sylvan player someday. And don't worry that you are bitten by mosquitos every night- try to make friends with them

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HEBPEME
HEBPEME


Hired Hero
I have TotE now!
posted April 07, 2008 09:22 AM bonus applied by Elvin on 15 Apr 2008.
Edited by HEBPEME at 10:30, 07 Apr 2008.

- Are you bored of beeing laughed at because of your huge fat tommy and butt?
- Is it frustrating when you to have to work in the field all day and to have to pay huge taxes all the time?
- Have you ever been robbed or beaten?

If your answer on any of above questions is "yes" theh this is the place for you - HAVEN

Sign up with greatest workout instructors in all Ashan and start TRAINING today!!!

We can make all your troubles go away!

After only one week of training we can turn you from this

into THIS:


So get your butt in HAVEN and become a real knight!

Here is the brief introduction of some of the staff that we are proud to have on board:

Klaus - one of the most skilled horse back-riders in the world. Master in the art of mounted combat tactics. After his course, your horse will stomp and crush everything beneath him like never before! (cost of training: 1400 gold and 5 gems)

Dougal - Have you ever wondered how to improve the performance of that string attached to the piece of wood that you call "bow" ? Dougal just might have the answer! In a week time, turn your cheap duck hunting bow into a real weapon! Using all the latest technologies in areas of optical sights and anti-recoil mechanisms and with only several days of training, the notorious, mean and one and only - Dougal of the Imba empire will turn you from a wuss into a real proffessional assasin! Strike from afar and kill much bigger and tougher enemy swiftly! (cost of training: 1840 gold, 4 mercury, 3 crystals, 2 blood witches for Dougal's entertainment)

And another thing: should you be not sattisfied with the outcome of our training, we provide a 15-day, full gold and precious resources back guarantee!

But that's not all!!!
If you sign up with HAVEN Training Facilites Co.today, you will recieve a special gift - FREE Griffin to serve as your personal transport! It can be used to carry up to 4 bags full of artifacts and resources and also can be used as a well trained pet that will chase away those irritating stalkers that always try to rob you of your precious possesions along the way!

So, joins HTF and become a man today!


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Elvin
Elvin

Hero of Order
Stillness within Movement
posted April 07, 2008 09:45 AM

Short but good You got the spirit from the start.
____________
So the next time your cat leaves a bleeding, twitching corpse on your doormat, remember that she loves you and is just trying to bring out your inner predator.

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alcibiades
alcibiades

Hero of Order
and Light
posted April 07, 2008 10:14 AM

That was good. Really good.
____________
Heroes 7 - News overview | Heroes 7 - Discussion thread

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HEBPEME
HEBPEME


Hired Hero
I have TotE now!
posted April 07, 2008 10:28 AM


Thx

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Orfinn
Orfinn


Supreme Hero
Werewolf Duke
posted April 09, 2008 11:56 AM

And funny but true Oh those poor peasants
____________


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carcity
carcity


Supreme Hero
Blind Sage
posted April 11, 2008 03:06 PM

where do i sign in?
____________
Why can't you save anybody?

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted April 12, 2008 08:23 PM bonus applied by Elvin on 15 Apr 2008.
Edited by DagothGares at 15:46, 28 Apr 2008.

Did you flunk out of the academy?
Did you fail to stay alive once and etermined not to let that happen again?
Do you want eternal live?
Do you hear voices in your head?

Well we have a solution right here: join the necropolis
here you can learn evrything you want to know. From making frogsoup to peeling of your skin so everyone can see your proud, bright and shiny skull.

We have many classes you can follow here:
philosophy: learn to justify everything. You can take this course into two directions. the first one is the "a higher power" commands me, where you learn how to reference Sigourney Weaver/ the dark god/ Al Gore in every sentence without looking stupid. Or the very popular "I am Evil For no apparent reason".
diplomacy: learn how to lie and doublecross(beginner's course) and convince others of doing your bad intentions while they suspect nothing(advanced course)
magic: nothing powerful(considering the fact you flunked), just enough so you can convince your enemies of being slow and weak.(basic course) and in the end you can convince the dead they're still alive (advanced) and you will even be able to convince yourself your live has any meaning (master course)
coping with life: this will become necessary since most necros lose all mental (and 50% of your bodie's) functionsafter a millenium or two. You will be happy with the entrapment of your soul in that useless bag of bones you call a body.
and history: we will keep you embittered 'cause u flunked in the academy.

After an appreniticeship of 25 to 300 years you're well on your way to learn the way of the necro. and you will be able to reap the many rewards like: having someone of your level to talk to(zombies are great listeners btw), having massive ****** at the vampire mansions with ppl who have been legally dead for 500 years!!!!or you could also have many riches which will be quite useless in the realm ofthe dead. So join now and remember...
noone has to live such a miserable existence forever...
Except YOU...
you can sign up 24/7 at the local schoolgrounds (there's always at least one of us among the goth kids) and yes... 24/7 our administrators never get tired(what did you think? they're dead DUH!!!)
____________
Cursed one, do you really think you can manage the glories which are my spells?

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carcity
carcity


Supreme Hero
Blind Sage
posted April 12, 2008 08:34 PM

do you always feel unneeded?
do your friends pick at you cause you can't use a sword?
do your friends pick at you because your ears are to short?

join the dungeon team and become a dark elf. learn the dark arts of stealth, destructive magic, dark magic and sorcery.

do you wan't to laugh at the wizards fleeing from your meteor showers. get hordes of loyal minions for FREE! nah just kidding it will cost you some mana.


WARNING! you won't get your money back if you are killed by your own troops.
____________
Why can't you save anybody?

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Elvin
Elvin

Hero of Order
Stillness within Movement
posted April 12, 2008 08:34 PM
Edited by Elvin at 20:36, 12 Apr 2008.

@DagothGares
Thumbs up, nice
____________
So the next time your cat leaves a bleeding, twitching corpse on your doormat, remember that she loves you and is just trying to bring out your inner predator.

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted April 12, 2008 08:53 PM
Edited by DagothGares at 20:53, 12 Apr 2008.

thx it was my first post ever
____________
Cursed one, do you really think you can manage the glories which are my spells?

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Elvin
Elvin

Hero of Order
Stillness within Movement
posted April 12, 2008 09:46 PM

Haha most people's first post is a comment, a question or an introduction Welcome to the community.
____________
So the next time your cat leaves a bleeding, twitching corpse on your doormat, remember that she loves you and is just trying to bring out your inner predator.

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted April 13, 2008 11:45 AM

-are you tired of being respected and thus being called a "little person"?
-are you 4 feet tall?
-Do you like beer and song?
-Do you hate dark-skinned people who are taller than you?(dark elves, if you think anything racist that's you not me who thinks it)
-do you have a crazy name.
-Are you too lazy to practice magic?

Then we have the community for you. JOIN THE DWARVES.
We have many skills that others have not like bearback riding and forging. For those who have whale hunting experience, you can be our supportive infantry.
For those amongst us who are dwarves, but suffer from giganticism can become our Thanes.
For those of us who have a very long beard and can't wield a hammer: become our rune priests. We will give you a staff, which you will only be able to wave around a bit (the pyrotechnic crew will know what to do)
For those of us who are as long as they are wide: become our berserkers. And of course, if you can't ride a bear, you can become our shieldguard. This is the easiest job. Just stand between us and the enemy. k?

We have no special purpose in mind, BUT we offer ale and a nice place to live in the mountains, isolated from the rest of the world. Join us now and get a free rune.
____________
Cursed one, do you really think you can manage the glories which are my spells?

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carcity
carcity


Supreme Hero
Blind Sage
posted April 13, 2008 08:00 PM
Edited by carcity at 20:01, 13 Apr 2008.

DagothGares are you sure th<t you are new?

and by the way welcome to the club.
____________
Why can't you save anybody?

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted April 13, 2008 09:47 PM
Edited by DagothGares at 14:38, 14 Apr 2008.

I am new, but I have been lurking for some days (inspiration and all)
btw, do you notice that I'm dutch?(judging from my english, I mean)
____________
Cursed one, do you really think you can manage the glories which are my spells?

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Cleave
Cleave


Promising
Famous Hero
Raging Blood
posted April 14, 2008 01:46 PM
Edited by Cleave at 13:48, 14 Apr 2008.

Quote:
btw, do you notice that I'm dutch?(judging from my english, I mean)


Could tell by your accent!
Nice post by the way.

Quote:
Sign up with greatest workout instructors in all Ashan and start TRAINING today!!!


Kudos to HEBPEME as well, that one made me laugh A LOT.
____________
13 Heroes

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