| Thread: Heroes 5 Faction Lessons [ This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 (7) ] |
demonking
Hired Hero
Who says demons ain't awesome?
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posted April 21, 2010 01:30 AM |
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why has all the humour gone?
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first use your common sence, and if that doesn't work, USE YER IMAGINATION!
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DieDevil
Hired Hero
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posted May 10, 2010 07:22 PM |
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Man elvin, this is the most effort put into thread ive ever seen!! awsome!!!
you are my favourite Moderator!
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demonking
Hired Hero
Who says demons ain't awesome?
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posted June 04, 2010 04:06 AM |
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quote:
Jesus stop editing, when he comes you'll know..
curse you shoulnd not, for nothing is happening. say that, you always have, my son elvin
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first use your common sence, and if that doesn't work, USE YER IMAGINATION!
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Elvin
Hero of Order
Stillness within Movement
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posted June 04, 2010 08:12 AM |
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Either make a contribution or stop bumping up this poor thread for no reason. All offtopic will be deleted by tomorrow, if you continue it will be considered as spam and you will be silenced.
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Optical Magnetized Light Vaccum Fist!
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demonking
Hired Hero
Who says demons ain't awesome?
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posted July 24, 2010 01:05 AM |
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Edited by Elvin at 03:27, 24 Jul 2010.
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-do you like awesomeness ?
do like riding a horse?
do you like to pwn just about EVERYONE?
were you rejected from necropolis because they were jelous of you supirior awesomeness?
if all the above is you, then join us THE DEATH KNIGHTS!!!!
you get to ride on an awesome skele horse, swing an over sized sword at your enemies, kill thousands with a single strokeand look really bad ass!!
Insults are not allowed whether directed at a specific person or not.
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first use your common sence, and if that doesn't work, USE YER IMAGINATION!
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darkness
Tavern Dweller
we answer to ourselves
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posted April 12, 2012 04:58 AM |
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quote:
-do you like awesomeness ?
do like riding a horse?
do you like to pwn just about EVERYONE?
were you rejected from necropolis because they were jelous of you supirior awesomeness?
if all the above is you, then join us THE DEATH KNIGHTS!!!!
you get to ride on an awesome skele horse, swing an over sized sword at your enemies, kill thousands with a single strokeand look really bad ass!!
Insults are not allowed whether directed at a specific person or not.
we are reborn!
futhermore
ever wondered what is with every dwarf hating dark elves?
ever wondered why humanity enslaved the orcs?
ever wondered how necropolis has failed to overthrow the silver cities?
if you do, we will kill ye
we don't care why things happen, they just happen
why must you all apply pointless, constantly confusing logic to the simplest of problems
because you don't serve [purple]THE MAW OF DARKNESS!![/purple]
join us under the leadership of the 69th arch-devil made by the foldarmeng by the order of the charred council
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running from the four horsemen
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gnomes2169
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Duke of the Glade
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posted April 12, 2012 10:25 PM |
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A beginner's guide to being a demon.
First off, if you can read this you are either a dark elf or succubus/incubus (Don't give me that ***** about Pit Lords being able to read, we all know that they couldn't breathe if they weren't reminded). If the former case is true, stop that. Unless you plan on betraying use because of a girl that you obsessively stalk for a week. Then it's perfectly alright. Now on to your real lessons.
As a demon you must realize that you have only one tactic, swarm to win. Sure, you might loose five-hundred-quadrillion troops because you never invest in your piss-poor defense, but you can always gate in more. Your overwhelming numbers and offensive physical might shall have the world burning in no time under your hoofs. (Erm... You do have hooves, right?)
Remember that fire must be pouring out of every available crevice on you at all times, and force your troops to follow your example. (Unless they would rather smolder, that's ok too. As long as there's fire.) Unfortunately, this raging inferno that is part of your minions' being in no way correlates to your creatures being able to survive even a small cooking fire without many incredibly powerful artifacts, so you should make sure those Pit Lords don't hiccup. And have those succubus keep their hands to themselves! By Urgash's burning corpse, we have enough lawsuits because of them as it is!
Now you might be thinking that because of all of this impressive firepower and sheer offensive might that you should invest a good deal of points into spell power, right? Wrong! Apparently when you have your swarming hordes of minions pour forth from their hellish portals blindly you have to do it in a very intelligent fashion. Don't worry, they will quickly drain you of all your hard-won mana in no time! Fortunately, there exists a few ways to fix this. For instance, your familiars can strip-mine enemy heroes for you and give you everything like the good little mana peasants they are. Also, you can kill two bird with one stone and eat your enemy's corpses, regenerating your mana by consuming that blue bit we call soul matter and keeping those tin-can men from bringing them back to life! Trust me kid, they taste like chicken. Very well done chicken. As a warning, if you were an idiot and decided to invest in destructive magic the corpses you consume tend to explode in your face. We do not provide dental*.
Feel like less of a noob? Good! Now for your final lesson, we always loose. Yup, that's right. Us demons, with all of our endless, bloodthirsty, immortal hordes, will always loose to the constantly infighting factions of Ashan that we catch completely unawares every single war. Why? Because they are the "Good guys" and some convenient plot hole always "saves the day." Always. We suspect that the game designers might be playing favorites with some of the factions.
There we go, initiation is complete! Now go decapitate yourself a few peasants and have fun!
* We never provide dental. For anyone. Ever. So you should never put exploding corpses into your mouth. It's bad for you.
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"That's weird, last night it just tasted like horrible burning."
-Claire
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seelkama
Adventuring Hero
Yay! I'm hired. Now what?
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posted July 20, 2012 06:17 AM |
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-Ever thought EVERYBODY hates you, even the hated?
-Ever met a crazy random dude named Elvin with 999 titans to electrocute you the first instant you appeared in his sight?
JOIN THE NEUTRALS!!!
Special privilige: YOU GET TO DIE IMMEDIATELY!
Furthermore, your death will grant much needed gold and experience and you will die with honor and glory for the greater good.
Extra points if you believe in the greater good in the firsst place
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