|
|
meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
|
posted July 15, 2012 12:14 AM |
|
|
A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at the first home he came across, for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a little pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
|
|
NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
|
posted July 15, 2012 12:21 AM |
|
|
A classic case of:
THE LESS YOU KNOW, THE BETTER FOR YOU
____________
Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
|
|
meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
|
|
posted July 15, 2012 12:33 AM |
|
Edited by meroe at 00:43, 15 Jul 2012.
|
An Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. "We have 99" replied the shop owner "Give me da lot" said the Irishman, he paid for them and left. Then he went home and got his wife to saw 99 pockets into his jacket. He put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off. He hit the ground with an terrible crash and lay there groaning until a passer-by ran up and asked him what had happened. "I don't know sur" he replied "but dat's the last time I try dat budgie jumping"
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork...Have you actually ever tasted it? The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too...I know you're suposed to be celibate. But...." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you're going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn't it?"
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
|
|
NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
|
|
posted July 15, 2012 12:50 AM |
|
|
Two men are talking:
"... And there I was - walking down the street when I saw the two ugliest things ever!"
"Wow, dude, that bad?"
"Yeah... The bloody eyes, the missing teeth, the thin, lifeless body..."
"What about the other one?"
"Oh, yeah... She, too, looked like my wife's mother."
____________
Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
|
|
Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
|
|
posted July 15, 2012 01:06 AM |
|
|
It's night and two gypsies are trying to cross the border, they decide that it's better if they go one at a time.
The border guard hears a rustle and points his gun.
"Who goes there?!" shouted the guard
"Miaow, miaow"
"Just a cat" and lowers his guard
As the second gypsy crosses he makes a rustle aswell.
"Who goes there?!" shouted the guard
"The other cat" The gypsy murmurs.
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
|
|
NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
|
|
posted July 15, 2012 11:11 AM |
|
|
"Mum, I don't want to go to school!"
"You will! I'll give you two good reasons for that:
First: You are 48.
Second: You are a teacher.
____________
Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
|
|
LizardWarrior
Honorable
Legendary Hero
the reckoning is at hand
|
|
posted July 15, 2012 11:29 AM |
|
|
At school the teacher asks the kids what professions have their fathers:
-Geroge,what job has your father?asks the teacher
-Grave digger.
-No Geroge,it is called mortician.But you Jhon,what job has your father?
-Garbageman.
-No Jhon,it is called public sanitation worker.But your father,Bula?
-Disk Jockey at mistik club?
-What?
-Bell ringer at the church.
An Englishman,an Romanian and a mute come to test their echoes in a cave.The English is first:
-Hello!Is someone there?
And he hears the echo.
-Hello...Is...someone...there...
Then comes the Romanian:
-Salut!E cineva acolo?
And he hears also his echo.
-Salut...e...cineva...acolo...
And then the mute decided to test his echo:
-Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
And the echo replies:
-What the f*** did you just say?
Bula asks his father what's the difference between good times and financial crisis.
-See my son,good times means Mercedes,champagne and sexy girlfriend.
-And financial crisis dad?
-Financial crisis means Dacie,siphon and your mother.
|
|
Galileo
Known Hero
|
|
posted July 15, 2012 01:31 PM |
|
|
|
Can I post jokes about Hitler killing Jews? They're very cruel.
|
|
NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
|
|
posted July 15, 2012 01:45 PM |
|
|
Umm... You better not. We have Jews on HC and it wouldn't be wise.
-What do you get when you glue one blonde's ear to another blonde's ear?
- An air tunnel.
____________
Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
|
|
Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
|
|
posted July 15, 2012 03:15 PM |
|
|
A common Hungarian joke protagnonist: Móricka
Quote:
On the street two men are fighting, and little distance away Móricka is sobbing loudly. A passing by lady takes notice.
-Why are you crying, boy?
-My father is getting beaten.
-Which one is your father?
-That's what they're fighting about.
Quote:
Móricka steps outside and asks his father
"-Why is grandma running in zig-zag?"
"-Shut up and keep handing me ammo"
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
|
|
Galileo
Known Hero
|
|
posted July 16, 2012 04:27 PM |
|
|
:lol
Rabbit and chicken went to forest to take drugs. Because chicken was going to take drugs for the first time, rabbit decided to give him small amount. Chicken smoked for some time, and rabbit asked him: "Do you feel anything?" "No," chicken replied.
So, rabbit gave a bit him more drug. "Do you feel anything now?" "No." Rabbit was suprised, so he gave chicken even more drug.
"Do you feel anything now?" "No." "**** it, HOW YOU DON'T FEEL ANYTHING!?!?" "But I simply don't feel anything. Nor head, nor body, nor wings!"
Before, Chuck Norris worked as woodcutter in a forest. Today, that area is called Sahara.
____________
|
|
NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
|
|
posted July 16, 2012 04:46 PM |
|
|
-Why isn't there life on Mars?
-Because the Marsians angered Chuck Norris.
____________
Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
|
|
Galileo
Known Hero
|
|
posted July 17, 2012 02:00 PM |
|
|
A pessimist can see only darkness in tunnel.
An optimist can see light on the end of tunnel.
A realist sees the light is actually a train.
And a train driver sees three idiots on track.
|
|
Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
|
|
posted July 17, 2012 02:02 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Umm... You better not. We have Jews on HC and it wouldn't be wise.
Yeah.
Quote:
-What do you get when you glue one blonde's ear to another blonde's ear?
- An air tunnel.
Good thing we don't have blondes.
____________
|
|
master_learn
Legendary Hero
walking to the library
|
|
posted July 17, 2012 02:05 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Good thing we don't have blondes.
I think you should explore RL photos in OSM to be sure!
|
|
Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
|
|
posted July 17, 2012 02:16 PM |
|
|
Yeah I agree. >.>
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
|
|
Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
|
|
posted July 17, 2012 03:09 PM |
|
|
My sarcasm holds no power here.
____________
|
|
NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
|
|
posted July 17, 2012 03:21 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Good thing we don't have blondes.
WHAT?! I want blondes. Blondes good.
Anyway:
WTF is going on with the Flintstones (cartoon)? They celebrate Christmas before the Christ was even born!
____________
Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
|
|
Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
|
|
posted July 17, 2012 04:14 PM |
|
|
Erm, the flintstones also features dinosaurs, I hardly think that's historically accurate either.
Quote:
My sarcasm holds no power here.
You had no indicators, like a smiley.
Eg:
" Good thing that we don't have any blondes  "
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
|
|
JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
|
|
posted July 17, 2012 05:48 PM |
|
|
But blondes aren't a race so it's A-O.K. to dumb them. 
____________
DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
|
|
|
|
This thread is pages long: 
