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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: What is Love?
Thread: What is Love? This Popular Thread is 225 pages long: 1 30 60 90 120 150 180 210 ... 214 215 216 217 218 ... 225 · «PREV / NEXT»
OhforfSake
OhforfSake


Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
posted March 12, 2015 04:00 PM

You can discuss it with your friend, but I understood it as Emil wanted to tell his friends gf that she should stay away from him.

Anyway, I think one classical mistake is to ask someone to pick between "me or them", because creating this situation is also giving oneself a huge disadvantage.. and may even be seen as some kind of emotional betrayal, even if it's with good intentions.
____________
Living time backwards

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emilsn91
emilsn91


Supreme Hero
posted March 12, 2015 05:56 PM

I made a mistake. I did not clarify the situation.

1. My friend is called "Johnny". He is a single male in his best prime.
2. The girl is called "Linda". She is in a relationship with another guy. Let us call him "Carl".

Johnny and I are studying together, and Linda is a freshment. They started talking together in the first day of her school, and he fell head over heels for her. Eventhough he knew that she was in a relationship.

They have since september engaged in a totally non-sexual relationship. They write to each constantly. He wants something more with her, but she is not planning on leaving Carl, her boyfriend, for my friend Johnny.

In my eyes she is feeding on his affection for her, and not returning anything. Johnny has been with other girls and kissed basicly all in her class. And when he does, she throws a tantrum and tells him that he is an idiot.. He is not going to stop anything, because even though he is with other girls, she is the one he wants. And as pointed out neither will she.

I just want to know when you interfer with a leech as Linda.. I think she is cheating on Carl (emotionally) and basicly an idiot.

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violent_flower
violent_flower


Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
posted March 12, 2015 06:11 PM

Love is a series of foolish feelings that really don't exist.
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted March 12, 2015 07:06 PM

I think you should talk to Johnny about your concerns, but ultimately leave the decision up to him. If he says he wants to continue doing what he's doing, that's for him to decide, and you shouldn't interfere further.
____________
Eccentric Opinion

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emilsn91
emilsn91


Supreme Hero
posted March 13, 2015 11:07 AM

mvassilev said:
I think you should talk to Johnny about your concerns, but ultimately leave the decision up to him. If he says he wants to continue doing what he's doing, that's for him to decide, and you shouldn't interfere further.


We talk about in the group of boys a lot with him and without him. But I really just want set that girl straight.. I guess I have selfish reasons for this.. I am not a fan of people who makes fools out of others

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JollyJoker
JollyJoker


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
posted March 13, 2015 01:51 PM

Put yourself in the shoes of the other involved people and ask yourself how you would feel in their position, if you did, and how they might react. That should give you the answer.

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Tsar-Ivor
Tsar-Ivor


Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
posted March 13, 2015 02:51 PM
Edited by Tsar-Ivor at 14:51, 13 Mar 2015.

Best thing to do is be a good friend and take the piss out of him in satirical manner. There is nothing you can do, we all make crappy decisions and it is good to stay by friends,  but at the same time to also let them know what complete morons they are (FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW).  To actually act on your feelings would be like considering your friend an inferior, to you the situation seems dumb and that is fine, but to actually act upon those feelings would be detrimental to your relationship with "Johnny".

The worst mistake you can make is to believe that you know better.
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny

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Fauch
Fauch


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted March 13, 2015 03:13 PM

violent_flower said:
Love is a series of foolish feelings that really don't exist.


they do since we feel them. love is probably just how we choose to interpret them.

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emilsn91
emilsn91


Supreme Hero
posted March 13, 2015 05:47 PM

Quote:
The worst mistake you can make is to believe that you know better.


Wise words!

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xerox
xerox


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
posted April 06, 2015 12:47 AM
Edited by xerox at 00:48, 06 Apr 2015.

My life is such a love catastrophe right now. So about a year ago I met this guy who really has been the only one I've ever been in truly in love him. Problem is, I've never really been sexually attracted to him. We had sex anyway and I enjoyed it in a romantic way, but I wasn't very sexually aroused. Since then I've become more sexually active with other people (which has been a huge confidence boost for me, I always perceived myself as really ugly)  which confirmed that I'm just not aroused by my love interest, but easily by other people. This has made me less dependent on Him and I've not slept with him for months. I don't feel as romantically attached as before and even though he says he's all about the open relationship mentality, I can see that he obviously doesn't like me sleeping around with lots of people. I still want to make this work though because he is the only one who I feels comes even close to be trusting and loving me unconditionally. I'm now thinking about buying pills so we can make it work. I want to make him feel happy, and proud of himself, not that he's become inferior for me.
____________
Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted April 08, 2015 01:03 AM

It may be helpful to spend more time one-on-one with him (not necessarily sexually). You may become interested in him (perhaps in more ways) if he becomes a larger part of your life because you spend more time with him. Or you may find that you like him the same or less, in which case you should only pursue something casual (if he's okay with that) or nothing at all.
____________
Eccentric Opinion

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OmegaDestroyer
OmegaDestroyer

Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
posted April 08, 2015 01:33 AM
Edited by OmegaDestroyer at 01:34, 08 Apr 2015.

xerox said:
I'm now thinking about buying pills so we can make it work. I want to make him feel happy, and proud of himself, not that he's become inferior for me.


Pills are not going to fix the root problem.  You are either attracted to him sexually or you are not.  That is most likely not going to change.  Since sex appears to be a very important part of your life, do you honestly feel you can have a meaningful relationship with someone you are not attracted to?  

I think you have your answer.  He's an inferior partner.  If you feel that way, it's not fair to either of you.
____________
The giant has awakened
You drink my blood and drown
Wrath and raving I will not stop
You'll never take me down

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ShadowMaster
ShadowMaster


Adventuring Hero
HOMM3fa(g)n
posted April 08, 2015 11:48 PM

Well, what is love ? Here is a quote from a essay about Saint-Valentine I wrote a few months back.
Quote:
Love is a chemical chain process in your body what ultimately leads to a "feeling" that is called "Love". It's also the need for someone to have someone to relate to, which I don't understand neither. Most of the present day human cultures give a very deep meaning to that particular compound of a relationship and also to the procreative meaning of a relationship. I understand that last part, because it is something that we received from animals, but I don't comprehend the fact that we don't celebrate it, but everything that leads to it, or in other words prolonged foreplay.

If someone wants, I can post the whole essay (it was rather short), but this phrase in particular gives away how I feel about love in general. Yeah, I know, quite depressing, right ? Attack of angry people who believe in "pure love" in one, two, three...

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artu
artu


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
posted April 22, 2015 03:45 AM

Helen Fisher - Why We Love Why We Cheat

A very interesting and captivating speech by a scholar with a perfectly balanced sense of humor. Well worth your 25 minutes. I suggest to use the English subs if it's not your mother tongue, she speaks quite fast.
____________
Are you pretty? This is my occasion. - Ghost

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted April 28, 2015 09:50 PM
Edited by mvassilev at 21:50, 28 Apr 2015.

A friend wrote a good post about polyamory and particularly why the criticism "poly relationships are unstable" sometimes misses the mark.
____________
Eccentric Opinion

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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted April 28, 2015 10:10 PM
Edited by Minion at 22:13, 28 Apr 2015.

Hey mvassilev, can you update on your relationship a bit? What is the current form of your relationship and how is it going?
____________
"These friends probably started using condoms after having produced the most optimum amount of offsprings. Kudos to them for showing at least some restraint" - Tsar-ivor

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted April 28, 2015 10:26 PM
Edited by mvassilev at 22:31, 28 Apr 2015.

I'm still polyamorous, and still only have one partner, the same girl I've been writing about for the past couple of years. We live together with two of her boyfriends now, and she is dating seven people in total (five men and two women). We are each other's primaries, as before, and the relationship is still heading in the direction of marriage (though not for a few years). Dating seven people is quite a time commitment, but it's made easier by the fact that in practice, she's only dating four people (she rarely sees the other three, and everyone is fine with that - they say they're dating because they want to apply the label "dating" to what they have) - and it also helps that three of the people she's dating live with her. I like my metamours (a metamour is someone who's dating someone you're dating) and enjoy living with them. In fact, since I'm not good at meeting strangers, hearing her describe the people she's dating and then meeting and and becoming friends with them works well for me. They're all good people, and most importantly, they make her happy.

Another person was interested in me a few months ago, but I turned them down because I wasn't interested in them. I'm also currently vaguely interested in another woman, but I don't know her well, she lives far away (although she plans to move to the area within a year), and have never met her in person (though I've interacted with her some over the Internet). My girlfriend knows of my interest, and supports it - she thinks it's cute, and that we'd be a good couple (unlike me, she's met this other girl).
____________
Eccentric Opinion

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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted April 28, 2015 10:35 PM

Personal question if you don't mind? How is the sexlife with you and her? Could be inapproproapiate for a forum, but then again if you just say "good, satisfactory, bad" I guess it is perfectly fine.
____________
"These friends probably started using condoms after having produced the most optimum amount of offsprings. Kudos to them for showing at least some restraint" - Tsar-ivor

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted April 28, 2015 10:48 PM
Edited by mvassilev at 08:41, 12 May 2015.

It's great. Something I can say is that polyamory has made it even better than it would've been otherwise - she's done things with other partners that wouldn't have occurred to me, and they're often things I'd like to do too. I've never had a threesome, but I have some vague interest in one.
____________
Eccentric Opinion

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artu
artu


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
posted October 13, 2015 07:56 AM

Moments like this, I guess. A very deeper level of peace and happiness in which you feel, all the snow I've been through in life was worth it cause it got me here holding you, eventually.


____________
Are you pretty? This is my occasion. - Ghost

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