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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: What is Love?
Thread: What is Love? This Popular Thread is 225 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 ... 50 100 150 200 ... 221 222 223 224 225 · «PREV / NEXT»
MightyMage
MightyMage


Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
posted August 08, 2008 06:44 PM
Edited by MightyMage at 18:45, 08 Aug 2008.

All of this has caused me to do A LOT of thinking.  I know I'll get over all this in time but I haven't slept the past two nights.  I just think.  

I don't agree with some of the things she did in her past but I've either accepted them or moved past them.  It was in the past.  The fact is she was drunk or high (possibly both) when she called that first time which is why she called back the next day to apologize.  I guess that's not something she normally does.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is (and some of you may disagree with me) I loved her for her.  I took the good with the bad and I wouldn't want to change anything about her.  

The fact is...I want her back.  I don't know if it will happen or not but I want to at least try.  I know there's some sort of protocol to these things and I can see why.  Whatever set her off, I'm probably the last face she wants to see or hear from right now.  I guess my question is how long should I give her?  I assume I should get my emotions back in order first which I've been trying to do and I really need to think about how I would do this.  

I figure what I'll do is give her, I don't know, maybe a week.  Enough time to cool down but not too much so she rebounds with some random dude.  I want to call her up, play it light and cool, suggest we meet up for coffee or whatever just to talk.  

I should probably think of how I'll phrase it and I'll  gladly accept any suggestions or "NO MIGHTY MAGE NOOOOOOOOOO"

Either way, I just want to thank all of you for listening to me whine and complain.  I know this thread is kind of...ok IS a downer and I appreciate all the feedback and the HCM's  
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage.  For he is all I could ever
want to be!
- OhforfSake

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del_diablo
del_diablo


Legendary Hero
Manifest
posted August 08, 2008 07:40 PM

Quote:
I want to call her up, play it light and cool


Just be honest, it sure beats doing someting half fake.
____________



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emilsn
emilsn


Legendary Hero
posted August 08, 2008 07:55 PM

I have no experience on this subject at all - But if you want then go get for the love of god - Do some cheap romantic move, send her 1 red rose each day ... what do I know

WE BELIEVE IN YOU MIGHTYMAGE!
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.

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Drako_the_noob
Drako_the_noob


Known Hero
Banned
posted August 08, 2008 07:59 PM

Love is a thing beetwen a Male and a Female. Thing beetwen a Male and a Female which is more then friendship More than friendship. Its the relationship when you are able to kiss her. When you have the possibilities to have sex, or marry her.
____________
rap=

R=retards
A=attempting
P=poetry

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radar
radar


Responsible
Legendary Hero
Castle/Haven player
posted August 08, 2008 08:08 PM
Edited by radar at 20:09, 08 Aug 2008.

Quote:
Love is (...) when you are able to kiss her. When you have the possibilities to have sex, or marry her.


you'd be surprised
____________

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted August 08, 2008 08:17 PM

The whole case seems like she had been bottling up things, it wasn't just one thing that caused this. If you do call her - which I'm pretty sure that you will - then it's better to show that you have come to terms with it and just want to talk about what happened. She may be fooled into thinking you can be reasoned with Kidding sorry! Thing is that it would be good to show understanding rather than question her why  she acted that way. Either way you should be able to tell if she still feels the same just let her present her side of the story and after that.. Dunno good luck.
____________
H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb

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del_diablo
del_diablo


Legendary Hero
Manifest
posted August 08, 2008 08:38 PM

Quote:
Love is a thing beetwen a Male and a Female. Thing beetwen a Male and a Female which is more then friendship


Sir, i think you are confused. Love is love. It is what creates the dam relationships, and it is also a tool made by evolution for bringing human generations on into the ages.
A women can love a women, a man can love a man, etc. It does not follow any logical pattern either
You sir are ignorant, entire 5% of the earths population is not falling into your universal sentence
____________



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antipaladin
antipaladin


Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
posted August 08, 2008 09:52 PM

you know how u think no metter how bad you want to hear the ruth u can handle it? B****T
you dont trust me,if there is another guy and i quite frankly think there is,its a posibility she just toyed with you or tried to make him jelouse-etc. u think u want to know it,but best is to not too,if u do,however,u will get much hurter,the truth dont worth it,TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. Let go. iTS ONLY consult im able to give,please for your sake (and ours as u being a mod here ) DO NOT GO THERE,LET GO,
best medicine drunk it off or **** it off with as meny women as posible 0one night stands. always did the magic for me.
____________
types in obscure english

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MightyMage
MightyMage


Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
posted August 09, 2008 12:12 AM

I guess I've reached the point where I pretty much know what happened.  I don't believe a guy was involved before the breakup.  Perhaps yesterday or today (she has plenty of guy friends who have probably been waiting for this).  Now my idea may or may not be the truth but I don't really care anymore.  I'm curious sure but I know her pretty well and I think I have it figured out.  

If she does happen to pick up her phone when I call and agrees to meet me I wont press her for information.  If it comes up then it comes up.  If it does happen to be another guy then whatever.  Her loss.  I was nothing but good to her.  I would have done just abut anything for her and she knew that.  
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage.  For he is all I could ever
want to be!
- OhforfSake

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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted August 09, 2008 12:21 AM

Never go back.  Make the emotional break now, you will never stop loving her but you have to move on uhuh.  If she loved you she'd be by your side right now - that's the facts.  Focus on doing that list of things you've wanted to do for years, finish all those half started projects.

a broken heart is the most debilitating condition, don't let it take hold.
____________
uhuh

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TitaniumAlloy
TitaniumAlloy


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
posted August 09, 2008 03:01 AM

Quote:
"Female dogs ain't poop!"

wow way to kill it
____________
John says to live above hell.

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Moonlith
Moonlith


Bad-mannered
Supreme Hero
If all else fails, use Fiyah!
posted August 09, 2008 04:04 AM

Gotta love the people that are dishonest about their feelings, and don't tell you if something is on their mind untill the day they say it's over and won't discuss it even

Ah but yes, Haddaway was first that came to mind.

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MightyMage
MightyMage


Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
posted August 09, 2008 07:26 AM

I got an e-mail from her today which I read when I got home from work.
It details why she broke up with me which it turns out I was way off.

I thought (being the type of person she is always looking for party's and all that) that maybe she felt as though she was tied down to me like she couldn't be free to do what she wanted.  That's what I thought was the basis of it all.

I was wrong.  Seems it boils down to me being repetitive and boring.

I admit spending our last three or four...maybe five dates at my house is far from exciting.  I probably could have been more creative.  

She also mentions that we need better communication.  That I completely agree with.  She really needs to start telling me things.  I had to suffer and wait to finally find out what was wrong.  I wish she would have just told me.  I also could stand to talk to her more.  Instead of me assuming things were great, I could have asked.

She ends it by saying:  I know this is a lame way of explaining things...if you're reading this.  Call me.  Maybe we can talk things over.

I'm not going to get my hopes up about anything yet but I will call her tomorrow.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage.  For he is all I could ever
want to be!
- OhforfSake

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william
william


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
posted August 09, 2008 07:31 AM

I hope that everything works out for you.
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~

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MightyMage
MightyMage


Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
posted August 09, 2008 07:45 AM

Thanks Willy.  I do too.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage.  For he is all I could ever
want to be!
- OhforfSake

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OmegaDestroyer
OmegaDestroyer

Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
posted August 09, 2008 07:48 AM
Edited by OmegaDestroyer at 08:03, 09 Aug 2008.

I wouldn't bother.  If she doesn't respect you enough to actually talk to you, there's not much you can do.  

And really, how strong were her feelings for you if she could be talked out of a relationship by your mother?
____________
The giant has awakened
You drink my blood and drown
Wrath and raving I will not stop
You'll never take me down

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MightyMage
MightyMage


Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
posted August 10, 2008 10:25 PM

OH MY GOD!!!  THIS SUCKS!!!  I had a HUGE post and did a spell check but lately Google's spell check doesn't let me fix individual words it does a fix all kind of thing.  It "fixed" my username from MightyMage to Mighty Mage...which HC didn't recognize.  I clicked the back button and my post was gone...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage.  For he is all I could ever
want to be!
- OhforfSake

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TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted August 10, 2008 10:31 PM

That's why you should ALWAYS copy your post before pressing submit! Rule of thumb for me.

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kookastar
kookastar


Honorable
Legendary Hero
posted August 11, 2008 06:03 AM

hate it when you lose a post :|

MM it is important to learn and relationships are about compromise, but NEVER fall into the trap of blaming yourself for everything, don't lose yourself in a relationship - it's easily done with lightning bolt type love.   Love shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself, it shouldn't mess with your self esteem - especially not at the beginning.  There are people that will love you for who you are.

I wish you happiness.
____________
uhuh

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alcibiades
alcibiades


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
posted August 11, 2008 08:09 AM

I think there are so many conditions that have to be met for a relationship to work out. Obviously, first off, you need to find the right person - someone you get along with, who you're attracted to, who are attracted to you, etc. etc. Meeting this bill is difficult for a starter, but I don't think it's enough!

Very often relationships seem to be messed up because the timing is not right. Maybe you are at different "places" in your life, making your needs not really compatible. The problem of you (both) still living with your parents and you needing to save up money could be one such thing, your work taking up a lot of your time at inconvenient hours is another. Maybe outside factors start influencing how things go - from materialistic things, like you being in a tight spot for money - to other persons, like your mother starting to stick her nose in things.

It's my experience that sometimes, meeting the second set of conditions are even more difficult than the first - ok, maybe not, but still, there are a lot of things that need to fit for both of you for a relationship to really work out. Particularly when you're as young as we are, because our lives are normally changing at a faster rate at this point in our lives.

I think right now top priority for you should be to dissolve the threads and answer the unanswered questions. What does she really want? Don't press her for one specific answer, but on the other hand, you need to know. Give her time, if she needs it to find out, but don't let her waste your time. And what do you want? Is this the right for you? Sometimes we have to acknowledge the fact that all events leave a mark, wether we want it or not. Maybe you could have been happy with her, but in light of events that have happened, can you really relax in the relationship, or will you just feel like it's a temporal stage until she changes her mind again?

I don't necessarily agree that things can't work out between the two of you again. Some of the best relationships I've seen have been through crises worse than this. Sometimes, when you have a severe crises and make a break, and then the both of you realize that was not what you wanted, it seems easier to be together afterwards, because the break-up option will no longer seem as tempting - you've been there, and know it was not the right option (at that time). Of course things can change, but ... And the clue is here, that the both of you need to feel, that breaking up was not the right thing. If either of you goes back to it half-heartedly, at some point, the doubt will most likely get the upper hand.

And if you decide not to stay together, acknowledge the pain, but don't succumb to it. There's always a lesson to be learned, believe me, and you will want to take that with you for future relationships. What did she do wrong? Look out for those signs in the future, and avoid them if possible! And what did you do wrong? Take that with you. And you will love again, even if sometimes it seems hard to believe it. I think if our hearts and minds remembered all the pain we experience, living would be unbearable. But the mind is a tricky machine, it seems capable of dulling the bad things with time, making us less concious of them, without us really being aware of it.

As for what love is, I think too many of us have been raised with this fairytale of this big all-consuming love that lasts from day 1 till forever. Some may find it. I know people who have have met each other at age 15 and been maried for 10, 20, 30, 40 and even 50 years and still are together. But they are not that common. Most of us don't experience this, but that doesn't mean we can't experience love, and that doesn't mean we have to be less happy than those few. Don't forget all the wonderful times you had this summer. That accounts for something, even if you may not be together anymore. That was love, and should live on inside of you. Maybe your next love will last for good, maybe it won't - only time will show, but even if it doesn't, that doesn't make it wasted time.
____________
What will happen now?

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