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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: What is Love?
Thread: What is Love? This Popular Thread is 225 pages long: 1 30 60 90 ... 120 121 122 123 124 ... 150 180 210 225 · «PREV / NEXT»
VokialBG
VokialBG


Honorable
Legendary Hero
First in line
posted February 27, 2010 09:10 PM
Edited by VokialBG at 21:16, 27 Feb 2010.

@Dagoth: Well, very hard... very hard... since I'm coward too, on your place I'll just leave it as it is. I'll fear to not breake the friendship. The question is... Everything or nothing? You wanna try that or not? If you ask me I'll say that you have to risk, but if I was on your place, I don't think I'll have the courage to.

Think of your priority: it is "small but something", or is it "everything"? Just know that "everything" may, or may not lead to "nothing". You already know that. Everything or nothing? Does "everything" is worthy enough, so you can sacrifice "small but something" with the risk to lose it and not get anything?

Say yes and try it. "Small but something" is a lie. Everything is nice for now, but you know, friendship is not forever, or if it is after time it gets... low on contacts. You'll lose "small but something" for sure. 100% I can guarantee it to you. "Small but something" has it's timer, you can not know when the time will go up, but you can be sure this will happen. While "everything"... well, "everything" can be forever...

... just like "nothing".

Simple maths. You leave it as it is = "nothing" after some time, you tell her somehow = "nothing",... or "everything", even if there is 0,01% chance it still exist.

So you real question in this post: you must ask us how to do it. Think for something special.

Hope I helped, hope you're going to do it. Successfully.

Just to let you know, there is something, somehow real in my post.
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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted February 27, 2010 09:35 PM

Quote:
ego and love aren't compatible, the ego is unable to love, not even sure if he knows what it is (maybe he thinks he knows)
being in love, maybe that means ignoring your ego.
This is so untrue. In order to say, "I love", you first have to say, "I".
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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted February 28, 2010 02:10 AM

My personal experience tells me that it is possible to remain friends with someone you used to have a crush on. And by that I don't mean to be the pitiful guy that follows like a puppy and hopes the girl will eventually get vulnerable and change her mind. But you cannot overlook that there are things that drew you to that person from the very beginning, before you even started thinking of her in a different way. I won't deny it is not easy, especially at that age but it is possible for a good healthy friendship to blossom regardless. It all depends on both people's maturity and character.

Why risk it? Normally you might want to cut ties for the sake of your inner peace - after all there will be other girls along the way - but there is a variety of people that are rare nowadays and they are worth the effort. Of course this assumes that you know what you want and what you are getting into. Things will not be the same one way or another.
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william
william


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Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
posted February 28, 2010 02:11 AM

Yeah, possible to be friends with someone you used to have a crush on, rarely possible to be friends with someone you used to date. Take it from me. lol
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Elvin
Elvin


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Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted February 28, 2010 02:18 AM

Still possible but if things progress a bit it can get messy
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Mytical
Mytical


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Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
posted February 28, 2010 07:44 AM

Life..is short.  In my eyes it is better to know if something can come of it or not.  Yes, you risk losing a friend..but you also risk it if you say nothing..and sit pining for that person until it becomes uncomfortable for them to be around you.  Just remember to accept what they have to say.  If they say no, your choice is to move on, or just be friends..and only friends.  Don't stay resenting them, if you can't let it go, let them go.

A thousand people saying 'no' is worth that one that says 'yes'. Carpe Diem.  Seize the day, or it will seize you .
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JollyJoker
JollyJoker


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Undefeatable Hero
posted February 28, 2010 10:03 AM

Quote:
My personal experience tells me that it is possible to remain friends with someone you used to have a crush on.

Bold print being the key phrase. Used to have SHOULD mean - you have a crush on someone else and are happy.
In that case, sure, it doesn't have to become a problem - it can in fact work out well. However, it might end with a desaster as well.
____________
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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted February 28, 2010 12:12 PM

Umm no but it becomes used to before too long. Feelings do not disappear overnight.
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Fauch
Fauch


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Undefeatable Hero
posted February 28, 2010 01:35 PM

very interesting quote imo :

(translated from french with google, because it is a bit long)

Quote:
The respondent is a relation of intimacy between human beings and especially here, between two people of the couple. It is the couple, "in truth". More than an attitude, the truth comes to the level of being and penetrates even to motivations and behavior of the most trivial acts. We understand when it is not easy to recognize as intimate. All temporal organization of man is interwoven with falsehood and lies necessarily within the couple's cause. Relations "normal" man and woman are generally based on a compromise, because the moment a couple becomes aware that it is not the ideal couple is two people of the same species, As this couple has no burning desire to merge in practice means a life where everything is lived together, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment is, after all, that the relationship is built on a lie.

If a man truly recognizes his wife for his wife and vice versa, he should leave his father and mother, that is, the outside world, and do not be one and one flesh with its soul - sister. The compromise I mentioned above is manifested even in work. If two people are separated for long hours during the week and put up with this situation, under the pretext that "it must make a good living" is implicitly they know, without admitting, that they are better without each other. I hear voices m'objectent that the material aspect is also important that a man has done on their own, it does not need a "crutch" wert she the loved one to fulfill themselves, etc.. Anyone who honestly support these views are beings who have not met their inner being or that, too absent of themselves, they have not recognized In God, man is not without the woman nor the woman without the man!

Verily verily I say unto you, that is to say, intimately, intimately I tell you, there's nothing else to do on earth than love, the rest being but vanity and vexation of spirit! Can we love in half? Can we give in small pieces? As there is only the impossible that may be true, we must attempt the impossible, particularly in the relationship with the person we believe our inner being. If everyone applied these truths before the world would change. Imagine for a moment, a world based not on lies but the truth of the couple. Imagine the head of the country, not an individual but an entity-couple, with this constant supply of two complementary points of view, with this dialogue in truth.


original text in french :
Quote:
L'Intimisme est un rapport d'intimité entre les êtres et plus particulièrement ici, entre les deux êtres du couple. C'est le couple, "en vérité". Plus qu'une attitude, cette vérité s'inscrit au niveau de l'être et pénètre même jusqu'aux motivations des comportements et des actes les plus anodins. On comprendra dès lors qu'il n'est pas facile de se reconnaître comme intimiste. Toute l'organisation temporelle de l'homme est imbriquée dans le mensonge et s'étend forcément à l'intérieur du couple causal. Les relations "normales" de l'homme et de la femme sont généralement basées sur un compromis, car dès l'instant où un couple se rend compte qu'il n'est pas le couple idéal, fait de deux êtres de même essence,tant que ce couple n'a pas un désir ardent de fusion qui se traduit concrètement par une vie où tout est vécu ensemble, au jour le jour, d'heures en heures, d'instant en instant, c'est, somme toute, que la relation est bâtie sur un mensonge.

Si un homme reconnaît véritablement sa femme pour sa femme et vice-versa, il devrait quitter son père et sa mère, c'est à-dire le monde extérieur, et ne faire qu'un seul être et une seule chair avec son âme-soeur. Le compromis dont j'ai parlé plus haut se manifeste jusque dans le travail. Si deux personnes se séparent pendant de longues heures durant la semaine et s'accommodent de cette situation, sous prétexte "qu'il faut bien gagner sa vie", c'est qu'implicitement ils connaissent, sans se l'avouer,qu'ils sont mieux l'un sans l'autre. J'entends des voix qui m'objectent que l'aspect matériel a aussi son importance, qu'un homme accompli doit s'assumer seul, qu'il ne doit pas avoir besoin d'une "béquille", fusse-t-elle la personne aimée pour se réaliser pleinement, etc. Tous ceux qui soutiennent honnêtement ces points de vue sont des êtres qui n'ont pas rencontré leur être intime ou bien que, trop absents d'eux-mêmes, ils ne l'ont pas reconnu, En Dieu, l'homme n'est pas sans la femme ni la femme sans l'homme!

En vérité en vérité, je vous le dis, c'est-à-dire intimement, intimement je vous le dis, il n'y a rien d'autre à faire sur la terre que de s'aimer, le reste n'étant que vanité et poursuite du vent! Peut-on aimer à moitié? Peut-on se donner par petits bouts?  Comme il n'y a que l'impossible qui risque d'être vrai, il faut tenter l'impossible, particulièrement dans la relation privilégiée avec l'être que nous croyons notre être intime. Si chacun appliquait ces vérités, la face du monde changerait. Imaginons, pour quelques instants, un monde basé non plus sur le mensonge mais sur la vérité du couple. Imaginons à la tête des pays, non plus un individu, mais une entité-couple, avec cet apport constant des deux points de vue complémentaires, avec cette concertation, en vérité.


source


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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted February 28, 2010 09:47 PM

More nonsense. Here's something better.

Quote:
Genuine love is... the most selfish experience possible, in the true sense of the term: it benefits your life in a way that involves no sacrifice of others to yourself or of yourself to others.

To love a person is selfish because it means that you value that particular person, that he or she makes your life better, that he or she is an intense source of joy--to you. A "disinterested" love is a contradiction in terms. One cannot be neutral to that which one values. The time, effort and money you spend on behalf of someone you love are not sacrifices, but actions taken because his or her happiness is crucially important to your own. Such actions would constitute sacrifices only if they were done for a stranger--or for an enemy. Those who argue that love demands self-denial must hold the bizarre belief that it makes no personal difference whether your loved one is healthy or sick, feels pleasure or pain, is alive or dead.

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Fauch
Fauch


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted February 28, 2010 11:54 PM

nonsense?

Quote:
Those who expect to be loved, not because they offer some positive value, but because they don't--i.e., those who demand love as altruistic duty--are parasites. Someone who says "Love me just because I need it" seeks an unearned spiritual value--in the same way that a thief seeks unearned wealth.

I'm not sure it works that way anyway. you should give love, not expect it from other people.

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted March 01, 2010 12:00 AM

Some people do. "Love thy neighbour" - unearned love. "Love thy enemy" - even worse.
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baklava
baklava


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
posted March 01, 2010 01:06 AM

I strongly advise anyone searching for love never to read a single post of this thread.
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf

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Binabik
Binabik


Responsible
Legendary Hero
posted March 01, 2010 01:23 AM

OMG, Bak has been taking lessons from me?

OK, next lesson is to learn how to say "You guys don't know what the hell you are talking about."

But yea, I agree, sort of. This thread has way too much logic in it. Love is what it is. Just roll with it and stop trying to put labels on things and talking about it like a bunch of Spocks.


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DagothGares
DagothGares


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Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted March 01, 2010 01:25 AM

What?
Love is illogical?
get outta here!

Christ, my eyes have been opened!
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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted March 01, 2010 01:27 AM

And then people complain about how bad their relationships are.
You can either mystify love, say it's all irrational, and then have unsuccessful relationships as a result (and rare accidental successes), or you can approach it from a logical angle, make it systematic, and be much more successful.
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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted March 01, 2010 01:41 AM
Edited by DagothGares at 01:54, 01 Mar 2010.

*puts aside book he's supposed to be reading right now*
*hesitates, because he's sacrificing every minute he wastes on this to his sleeping time*
*continues*

I think sometimes it is hard to understand and to define and that to each person it is slightly different, but I think it helps to try and understand what it all is. It's called philosophy, trying to understand life and all that.

However, some people like things magical and I have no problem with that. They seem happier most of the time, anyway. Paulo Coelho is a good example of that.
Now, no one is getting any better with the accusation that "you're too rational", which to rational people draws only hostility.
I love you all.

*picks up book*
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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted March 01, 2010 02:04 AM

Quote:
or you can approach it from a logical angle, make it systematic, and be much more successful.

Dating and love isn't quite the same thing, it's like you are talking about a business proposal.
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william
william


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Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
posted March 01, 2010 02:48 AM
Edited by william at 03:05, 01 Mar 2010.

Quote:
I strongly advise anyone searching for love never to read a single post of this thread.


Well at least Mvass's replies. Like Elvin said, you really do view love or whatever as a business proposal. That's really not how you're supposed to look at it because it doesn't work that way.
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~

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mvassilev
mvassilev


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Undefeatable Hero
posted March 01, 2010 04:46 AM

Quote:
Dating and love isn't quite the same thing, it's like you are talking about a business proposal.
Like an idealised business proposal, maybe. One that we look forward to and are sure to stand to gain from.
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