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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: What is Love?
Thread: What is Love? This Popular Thread is 225 pages long: 1 30 60 90 120 150 ... 154 155 156 157 158 ... 180 210 225 · «PREV / NEXT»
selcy
selcy


Famous Hero
posted December 22, 2010 04:00 PM

Don't forget my invite .

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted December 22, 2010 04:02 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 16:02, 22 Dec 2010.

@Dagoth

You may as well call me condescending to Harry Potter.

Yeah, I think it's not the best thing around. Just like parties.

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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted December 22, 2010 04:05 PM
Edited by DagothGares at 16:06, 22 Dec 2010.

Quote:
@Dagoth

You may as well call me condescending to Harry Potter.

Yeah, I think it's not the best thing around. Just like parties.

Then, you know... Maybe baklava has a point?

Seriously, what the hell?
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted December 22, 2010 04:07 PM

What point? That I'm a weirdo for not liking parties?

Oh well, may as well agree with him. Who cares whether I'm considered weird or not.

What I don't like however is Bak constantly telling me I feel superior even though I don't.

It makes as much sense as calling someone who doesn't like blue cheese condescending to blue cheese eaters - the moment he expresses his dislike towards blue cheese and calls it horrible.
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bLiZzArdbOY
bLiZzArdbOY


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
posted December 22, 2010 04:08 PM
Edited by bLiZzArdbOY at 16:22, 22 Dec 2010.

"Party" is such a broad thing that one person might look at it differently from another person.

I picture a party as a group of over a dozen college kids getting together to drink. In that sense, I think they suck. They're very boring.

I never quite "got" getting together to socialize just for the sake of socializing, or for that matter, drinking just for the sake of drinking. I feel like socializing is suppose to be something you do all the time, but then you have some other event to go with it. Like you can watch a movie, play a strategy game, play cards, have a LAN (though those days are gone), etc. I went to three parties where I showed up and basically we drank and gabbed (there might have been a movie going on somewhere, but you can't really enjoy it in that kind of atmosphere) and after those three strikes I gave up on it and concluded that they're boring as ****. Whatever people get out of it, I don't understand. I'd rather sit at home in the dark watching a movie by myself on a Friday night than going to one of those boring-as-hell parties. Ideally, I like to chill with a group of good friends and do something engaging together.

I also don't think it's a coincidence that the same people that frequent such parties are often the same people with an alarmingly small list of hobbies and interests. This makes me suspect that they are the ones missing out on a great deal of life and not the other way around. A party is a means for them to quickly vent all of the accumulated stress and worry from the weekdays without ever truly delving into genuine leisure & entertainment.

I suppose that sounds elitist, but it's my conclusion.
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted December 22, 2010 04:10 PM

Quote:
"Party" is such a broad thing that one person might look at it differently from another person.

I picture a party as a group of over a dozen college kids getting together to drink. In that sense, I think they suck. They're very boring.

I never quite "got" getting together to socialize just for the sake of socializing, or for that matter, drinking just for the sake of drinking. I feel like socializing is suppose to be something you do all the time, but then you have some other event to go with it. Like you can watch a movie, play a strategy game, play cards, have a LAN (though those days are gone), etc. I went to three parties where I showed up and basically we drank and gabbed (there might have been a movie going on somewhere, but you can't really enjoy it in that kind of atmosphere) and after those three strikes I gave up on it and concluded that they're boring as ****. Whatever people get out of it, I don't understand. I'd much rather chill with a group of good friends and do something engaging together.


I guess BB is better than me in describing his feelings towards stuff
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baklava
baklava


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
posted December 22, 2010 05:27 PM

Quote:
"Party" is such a broad thing that one person might look at it differently from another person.

That's the alpha and omega of this conversation.

Doom, I'm not trying to be offensive here and I know you're not either. You seem like a cool guy, it's just that you're a little weird and stubborn as hell.

See, I didn't even mention underaged girls. That's a token of good will.

The thing is, you can't use the "you don't know me better than I know myself" argument to stop people from seeing your posts as demeaning. It has nothing to do with your life or experience, what you said did, to some people who aren't you, sound a bit arrogant and displayed an implied superior attitude. And I just pointed that out. If I say I don't like Jews and someone tells me I'm acting like an antisemite, I can't reply with "Oh I love how everyone on the internetz thinks he knows me better than I do". I was acting like a freaking antisemite. See what I mean?

Any conclusion I made about your real life and attitude was drawn directly from what you wrote here. First you say you don't like parties because they're about a bunch of drunk people chatting about nothing, and then you add you've been to some. If you had been on a different party, you wouldn't have said that all parties are that way. Would you?

I ain't no shrink, but I hope simple logic doesn't depend on that.

BB's first sentence explains this entire pickle pretty good. I actually more or less share his attitude toward parties he described, but the key bit is that he clearly defined what he means by "a party".
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted December 22, 2010 06:34 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 18:35, 22 Dec 2010.

Quote:
See, I didn't even mention underaged girls. That's a token of good will.




You're a great guy, Bak. But you really try hard to put words in my mouth, and that's not cool

Sure people can draw conclusions from what I write, and get the feeling that I'm this or that.

However, when I clarify something - that I do not feel superior, for instance - and you insist on it - it's no longer specific impressions from my post - it's literally putting words in my mouth that I never said.

So, if I feel a little arrogant when talking like that, it's fine that you mention it - that's how you perceived my tone, I guess it can be perceived like that. However, when you ask me, and I confirm that I do not feel that arrogant attitude towards party-goers - it should be pretty clear that I don't.

What's more, well, accurate in describing what I feel - your impressions drawn from reading more or less ambiguous post, or me specifically saying what do I feel?

Quote:
Any conclusion I made about your real life and attitude was drawn directly from what you wrote here. First you say you don't like parties because they're about a bunch of drunk people chatting about nothing, and then you add you've been to some. If you had been on a different party, you wouldn't have said that all parties are that way. Would you?


I never said all like that. I used an extreme example. That doesn't mean I actually consider EVERY party under heaven a drunken orgy, or something.

And yes, I've been at pretty quiet and gentle "parties", and - I've been at parties that are as close to "orgy" as you can get without having an actual orgy. And both kinds were boring as ****.

So, does my answer satisfy you now?

Quote:
BB's first sentence explains this entire pickle pretty good. I actually more or less share his attitude toward parties he described, but the key bit is that he clearly defined what he means by "a party".


Yeah, perhaps we should start with definition, and not end with it, to avoid confusion...

but better late then never.

I consider "party" as a meeting of people - well, more than two - for a purpose to "socialize" aka talk, joke around, fool around, drink, dance, et cetera. That doesn't mean every party must include dancing, drinking and joking, but that's more or less the essence.

And that's what's boring to me.
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baklava
baklava


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
posted December 22, 2010 06:38 PM

Oh alright.

Phew.

Thank God this is over.
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted December 22, 2010 06:49 PM

Guess we can get to Mvass' Pillar theory love topic again
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Azagal
Azagal


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
posted December 22, 2010 06:55 PM

And now from the mind that started this epic discourse (Thank me later) a quick summary of the truest part of thigns: Baks posts. But for those to lazy:

Quote:
No, the real reason why you've just climbed a few steps up the scale of social awkwardness is this sortof elitist attitude that's supposed to present people who like going to some kind of a party every once in a while as shallow, drunken idiots as opposed to the lonesome Übermensch

Quote:
Whatever the case, making excuses and explaining how your attitude is better than other peoples' just makes you look weirder. And that's what it looked like you were doing now. That's all I'm trying to say

Quote:
It has nothing to do with your life or experience, what you said did, to some people who aren't you, sound a bit arrogant and displayed an implied superior attitude.


Seriously I didn't know not going to parties made you a better human. Funny how people react on here sometimes lol.
____________
"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 22, 2010 07:20 PM

Yes, there are many different meanings for the word "party", but the one relevant to this context is a bunch of college kids getting together to get drunk, play loud music, and dance in a way that resembles sex. You people talk about "experience", and I experienced a party. I didn't like it. I agree with DF on this.

DF:
I think you completely misunderstood pillar theory. It has very little to do with attractiveness beyond a basic threshold. The point is not to approach random people but to look among those you know. And even "look" is the wrong word.

JJ:
Perhaps, but only if you think sex is an important part of the relationship, which I don't think it should be. I know I wouldn't want to have sex with someone I don't know very well and been going out with for a while. Sex should be a physical expression of how much you love the other person, and here it's just a hormonal thing.

Dagoth:
The funny thing is, those pick-up artists are often right. A lot of women are like that. The mistake they make is that they think all of them are, which is definitely not true. But if you just want sex, then their advice would indeed work.
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Eccentric Opinion

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted December 22, 2010 08:29 PM

Quote:
Seriously I didn't know not going to parties made you a better human. Funny how people react on here sometimes lol.


Seriously I didn't know going to parties made you a better not weird human. Funny how people react on here sometimes lol.


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JollyJoker
JollyJoker


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 22, 2010 08:34 PM

Quote:

JJ:
Perhaps, but only if you think sex is an important part of the relationship, which I don't think it should be. I know I wouldn't want to have sex with someone I don't know very well and been going out with for a while. Sex should be a physical expression of how much you love the other person, and here it's just a hormonal thing.


What makes you think so?
To clarify:
1) Why do you think sex should not be an important part of the relationship?
2) Why wouldn't you want to have sex with someone you don't know well? What, by the way, does "know" mean in any case?
3) What makes you think that sex should be a physical expression of how much you love someone?

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted December 22, 2010 08:57 PM

Parties are not everyone's cup of tea.
friends gathering having a good time.
It dont have to be beer, drugs & doing stupid stuff.
Parties can be what you make it out to be.

Friends with similar interests.
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Dreaming of a Better World

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mvassilev
mvassilev


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 22, 2010 09:42 PM

JJ:
1. A relationship is about how much you like and enjoy being with each other. Suppose everything else was good, and then the couple has sex and it's not that great. Does that mean the couple's relationship suddenly got worse? No, of course not. It stayed the same. It's not like either of the people is suddenly a worse person now. Or suppose that everything in a relationship is terrible except the sex. Then it's just prostitution for free, not really a good relationship.

2. I think that sex should be a physical expression of how much you love someone, and if you don't know someone well, you can't love them. As for what "know" means, it means knowing what someone is like - their personality, interests, who they are (in general), etc.

3. Because otherwise, it's no different from masturbation.
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Eccentric Opinion

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Corribus
Corribus

Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
posted December 22, 2010 09:59 PM

Quote:
Suppose everything else was good, and then the couple has sex and it's not that great. Does that mean the couple's relationship suddenly got worse? No, of course not. It stayed the same. It's not like either of the people is suddenly a worse person now.

Careful. Your inexperience is showing.  In fact, it's flashing like a great big neon sign.

Since when did the quality of a relationship only depend on the quality of the people involved?  Do you think it a certainty, for instance, that Einstein and Mother Theresa would have made a great couple?

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selcy
selcy


Famous Hero
posted December 22, 2010 10:06 PM

You need to be able communicate and get on with the other person and have some sort of connection because if your constantly arguing whats the point. Where as if the sex isn't brilliant at least you can work on that bit and have a lot of fun doing so lol. As they say practice makes perfect.

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wog_edn
wog_edn

Promising

The Nothingness
posted December 22, 2010 10:25 PM

Quote:
3. Because otherwise, it's no different from masturbation.
Dude, ever had sex? Comparing sex to masturbation is like comparing boobies to jellyfish. Seriously.

And I gotta agree with Corribus too. +you might think sex ain't very important for a relationship, but what about the other part? Honestly, today I met my girlfriend first time in a month as she had visited her sister .. and believe me, sex is a very important part of a relationship my opinion (and probably almost everyone else's too); if it ain't workin in bed, then it ain't workin at all.
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted December 22, 2010 11:11 PM

Quote:
Quote:
3. Because otherwise, it's no different from masturbation.
Dude, ever had sex? Comparing sex to masturbation is like comparing boobies to jellyfish. Seriously.


Well, bad sex is actually not that great - masturbation might be even better

But good sex, yeah. I agree.
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