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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: What is Love?
Thread: What is Love? This Popular Thread is 225 pages long: 1 30 ... 47 48 49 50 51 ... 60 90 120 150 180 210 225 · «PREV / NEXT»
Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted April 06, 2009 09:32 PM



It's still me! I still like 15yo girls.

But I had to draw some conclusions from my last failure. Aww, I'll try grannies this time.
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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted April 06, 2009 09:38 PM

Wow, you're seriously considering to actually date someone perhaps older than you? no way!
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted April 06, 2009 09:40 PM

No, by grannies I meant ~20 yo.

I'm not interested in girls older than me. No way.
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TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted April 07, 2009 03:17 AM

Hmm if 20 yo are grannies, then 25+ are at the limit and 30+ are undead?
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted April 07, 2009 09:45 AM

and 35+ are liches

Nah, just not interested atm. Maybe when I'm 30+ myself. Some men just don't like the very idea of having an older partner, and I'm one of them
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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted April 07, 2009 12:51 PM

Love is like a cracker Jacks.
You always get a prize in the sweetness
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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted April 08, 2009 02:07 AM

Life has many intriguing questions.
Wait, scratch that.

Man has many intriguing questions, like: how can I feel as good as possible doing as little as possible. Now, thanks to microwaveovens and tv, we have answered that question. Now that those simple things are out of the way, there are two more things a man may ask himself: How do I sleep with that tactfully? and What, why and how is everything like everything is?! The second party is like: I'll devote my life to answering the questions of life (I know, philosophers are crazy), so that problem's solved as well.

Now, man has most trouble with the opposite sex, since killing it will only make the problems worse, unlike any other problem on this earth.

The first question of a rational man is: How do I ignore her? The next one is: How can I make her feel the same about me as I about her?

Bonus question: How do  forget her?
Bonus answer: Find another, how silly this may sound.

Anyway, all I just said has little to no relevance as to what's disturbing me. You see, a few months ago, I went out with this cute little girl, Bonnie... And I still do...
Dove's out of sight out of mind and... I actually fell in love with Bonnie over time for some completely stupid and arbitrary reason. I suppose love is that way (It's gloating time for death now)

Anyway, I'm a calm and quiet guy, now for bloody years, so I don't yell or get mad. I can't, it's physically impossible.

Anyway, as of late, Bonnie became a little more distant, despite the fact we had awesome times together.

Now, something changed, after all. It kinda made me think about the relationship (like, am I happy in this one? Is it already over? What the hell happened?)

Anyway, turns out SOMETHING happened and she decided to finally tell me after I said I probably loved her too much, since we've grown quite istant. Then she told me she was kissed by someone else. Brief silence, tear, hug, and now I'm back here.

We talked a bit. She said she was confused and didn't know whether she loved me and that she needed time to think.

Now, you won't believe this, but my first reaction was relief, instead of the primitive male reaction to brutalise her and maim her. Anyway, since karma works this way (yes, it totally does!) I'll not get angry (since I can't anyway), I told her to do what she's happiest with and this way I forgive myself for not telling Bonnie about Dove and should bad things happen, she'll still be my friend.

Right course of action? Probably not... My course of action? Yes, I love her and I'd rather have an implosion and destroy myself, rather than explode and harm her
What would you guys do?

People who find me way too calm:
- I probably haven't realised it, yet.
- I had way worse than this
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted April 08, 2009 10:29 AM

Quote:
Now, something changed, after all. It kinda made me think about the relationship (like, am I happy in this one? Is it already over? What the hell happened?)


Yeah, it is. The moment you start thinking like that, it's over.

Quote:
Anyway, turns out SOMETHING happened and she decided to finally tell me after I said I probably loved her too much, since we've grown quite istant. Then she told me she was kissed by someone else. Brief silence, tear, hug, and now I'm back here.


Let me tell you something There is no such thing as too much love, loooool. The girl got bored and produces stupid excuses. Too much love my ***.
And she kissed someone else. isn't that enough? I guess it is. She is bored.

Quote:
We talked a bit. She said she was confused and didn't know whether she loved me and that she needed time to think.


Uncle Doomforge says: DUUUUUUUUUMP TIIIIIIME!!!!!

Quote:
I told her to do what she's happiest with and this way I forgive myself for not telling Bonnie about Dove and should bad things happen, she'll still be my friend.


You have balls of steel, mate.. I would tell her to scram and never want to hear from her again

Quote:
What would you guys do?


You know, if your partner starts acting funny, doesn't have time for you, produces stupid excuses and hangs with other guys/gals or even kisses them, what is the point of trying to convice yourself that it will be fine?

DUMP HER. Don't waste your time. It's NOT worth it. You will feel bitter and used, since she obviously doesn't care much at all, and you do = bad situation, humiliating and ego-hurting.

Cheers mate, good luck.
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Mytical
Mytical


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
posted April 08, 2009 10:44 AM
Edited by Mytical at 10:47, 08 Apr 2009.

Jealousy can be a bitter Mistress.  She is hard and cruel.  Everybody has doubts.  You don't doubt, you are not human.  Everybody has moments of weakness.  Sometimes we even give in to them.  What defines a man (or a woman) is how we handle the fallout of that.  You can be childish, and take your toys and go home.  Dump them like yesterdays newspaper, and feel superior though you are not.

Then there is the fact that she admitted her mistake.  That should count for a lot.  In my opinion you should talk it out with her, and even let her know about 'Dove'.  Mistakes were made, which means that you both are human, the question is..can you let it go?  Relationships can become much stronger after things like this.  We learn from our mistakes and move forward.  That is part of being mature.  So I say it is worth at least attempting to see where it goes from here.

That said..don't let her play you either.  If she (and you) have both learned from your mistakes, that is good.  If one (or the other) repeats the same mistake..then it no longer is a mistake.  Don't let her string you along either.  That would be just as bad.

Edit : And I honestly don't think the 'male' response is to attack.
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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted April 08, 2009 12:40 PM

Sounds like you really care for her. But as much as I think that your response was the best I wonder if it was for the right reasons. Don't let guilt affect you, you weren't dishonest and would probably tell her given the time you needed. One thing is for sure, while I appreciate people being sincere I simply dislike it when they drift away without as much as a warning, a sign, something.
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted April 08, 2009 02:59 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 15:02, 08 Apr 2009.

Excuse me, Mytical, but what "mistake" did she admit? That she told him straight into his face that she was cheating on him?

That even COUNTS?

Not the fact that she actually did it?

So if I cheat on my gf and tell her about that next day, I deserve another chance?

Imho, no. I do not.

It's perfectly clear. I would only do it if I
a) didn't care much for her, hang on with her only to have some sort of substitute for a real GF, to avoid loneliness
b) didn't share the opinion about cheating, something that should be discussed at the very start (people who don't find kissing or even sex cheating shouldn't hang out with those who do)

In case a), it screams for a dump, I mean, if there is no chemistry, why to bother? We want love, not some sort of "safety switch" to avoid loneliness. It would be better to try with another person than to desperately cling to a person that doesn't care too much.
In case b), you must accept you're "not the only one", and for many, it's unbearable
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TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted April 08, 2009 06:29 PM

Quote:
You know, if your partner starts acting funny, doesn't have time for you
Yeah well some people are married with their jobs, but still, doesn't mean they cheat on you

(I know it's not the case here lol, just a random note)

Quote:
Jealousy can be a bitter Mistress.  She is hard and cruel.  Everybody has doubts.  You don't doubt, you are not human.
"Doubt is one of the five mental poisons; it keeps you from finding what you seek." - Buddha
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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted April 08, 2009 07:15 PM

Doom:

Quote:
Yeah, it is. The moment you start thinking like that, it's over.


It was because she was suddenly so distant. I'll wait to see how it plays out, actually. I don't know, these thoughts suddenly disappeared once she told me and hugged me and kissed me...
I think she's really confused and I sympathise with her (at least a little)

Quote:
You have balls of steel, mate.. I would tell her to scram and never want to hear from her again

Why, thanks, I suppose

Mytical: Listen, I can't bear to tell her what I thought exactly abut Dove and our situation... It was quite an emotional period for me. Also, I didn't even touch Dove, so it's a bit different

@ all: It wasn't exactly cheating since she was kissed (subtle nuance) (though she didn't shove him off and that's why she's confused, I guess)

Anyway, I'll keep you posted, since I don't find it particularly exciting to tell people I know about it.
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted April 09, 2009 11:26 AM

I am a firm believer that if doubts appear so fast, they won't just magically disappear later on.

I know a couple - my parents' friends - who are in love even today, after 30 years of being a couple. That's what I would call love. They never had doubts. They were always sure that they are like that legend of two halves of some fruit. I heard from them that doubts usually mean the end of an relationship, sooner or later. Because if we really are alike, we KNOW it and won't feel DOUBTS.

And my short life experience pretty much told me the same thing.

So, if you don't find it comfortable to being the "dumper" (lol), just relax a bit and see what time brings.. But don't get your hopes too high, makes the eventual fall more painful
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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted April 09, 2009 12:26 PM

I know couples that have stayed 20 years together, and yes they have had doubts. Even serious doubts. They have had huge fights as well. Yet they are the happiest now. And wouldn't change a day. The magic trick is not to forsake the other even when you have doubts. Not too hastily. Not if you love someone. Of course you are free to believe that when "the right" one comes your way everything will be magically better and you will live happily ever after. No way I don't believe in that. You will need to work hard for the relationship even then.

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted April 09, 2009 12:34 PM

I agree wholeheartedly, but

Quote:
Not if you love someone.


This is the key sentence.

Do you honestly believe teenagers know what real love is about?

I don't think so.
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Minion
Minion


Legendary Hero
posted April 09, 2009 02:47 PM

Maybe, maybe not. But when are you ready? So until then you shouldn't have a relationship at all? If you are in a relationship with someone you feel greatly about (love), I think it is best to already start working on the compromise part of it, the trying to understand the other even when it is hard, it will help you in the future. It is up to the individual to see weather the other is just playing you - but rejecting a person you (believe you) love because of fearing being used is probably more dumb than actually getting played.

btw, if you don't believe that teenagers can feel love isn't it a bit self destructive that you only date them
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted April 09, 2009 03:21 PM

I explained it once. I think that love comes after the initial fascination.. and takes time.
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TheDeath
TheDeath


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with serious business
posted April 09, 2009 10:13 PM

Quote:
It is up to the individual to see weather the other is just playing you - but rejecting a person you (believe you) love because of fearing being used is probably more dumb than actually getting played.
That's a common argument, alas some of us aren't that way. We'd rather not play along if it results in a disappointment. Sometimes any 'journey' can bring more negative than positive, and thus it doesn't mean you have to go there, even if some people say "do it for the experience", the planner stays behind
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DagothGares
DagothGares


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Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted April 09, 2009 10:15 PM

No, death, that line didn't advocate a relationship for the experience, it advocated to go for it, despite having doubts, because, after all, you're in love and that's just silly and silliness is what life's all about anyway.
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