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TitaniumAlloy
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posted June 09, 2009 01:12 PM |
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No, doomforge it's:
Never trust a beautiful woman... Especially when she is interested in you.
QFXMEN2 
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DagothGares
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posted June 09, 2009 01:14 PM |
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One of the best scenes  
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Doomforge
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posted June 09, 2009 01:14 PM |
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What does THAT stand for? 
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TitaniumAlloy
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posted June 09, 2009 01:21 PM |
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Quote:
One of the best scenes
haha i agree
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Fauch
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posted June 09, 2009 01:25 PM |
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You know how fast a car can go, but you can never guess what trick another person can perform on you.
you are pessimist, are you? there are people who will never think about cheating on you. (and unfortunately, the contrary exists too)
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Plus, I like to play it safe. No high hopes = no disappointment.
well yes, but if you play it too safe, will you eventually get what you really want?
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Mytical
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posted June 09, 2009 01:33 PM |
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Doomforge, I feel a bit sad for you. Trust is a cornerstone of any great relationship. Sure being blind is bad, but they picked you for a reason. Unless you have rather low self-esteem I would see no reason to distrust those reasons. If it is a matter of low self-esteem then all I can say is..before you can love another it is always helfpul to learn to love yourself.
That is not to say you can not have many relationships, nor that you can not have good relationships. I just think you will miss out on a whole new plateu of a relationship if you can not trust those you are with. Of course some are happy with that. I know I was for a long time. They are called 'shallow' relationships. The one deeper relationship I was fortunate enough to experience these others could not even come close to compairing to. Even after loosing them to an accident, and the way that it hurt so deep I still would never trade that experience for a million of the 'shallow' kind.
To each their own I always say, and I wish you well in everything you do. However, I will still hope that one day you get a chance to experience true love, true trust, and true happiness. It can hurt worse then imaginable sometimes, but it can also be the best feeling one can ever have.
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JollyJoker
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posted June 09, 2009 01:35 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
If you don't trust another person there is just no foundation for a serious relationship.
I kinda disagree. It would be a burden to hope for too much. The other person doesn't need to know, too. It's not that I run around paranoid telling people I don't trust them. It's only that I always consider the other person cheating or getting bored of me a possibility. Let's be realistic: it happens all the time. As I said before, it would be overly optimistic to simply believe you are the lucky one.
Imho, it's much better to maintain a bit of skepticism. I'm not a jealous person; I am extremely understanding in relationships and never accuse anyone of anything, unless it turns ridiculous - like my last affair  and even in such cases, I never act jealous, I just talk, if it doesn't help - I quit.
Usually people call that kind of giving a free hand to a partner "trust", but I simply know that me running around spying and stalking, accusing and overreacting would be funny and pointless. So I just let things go natural way ; nothing really surprises me this way
Is it fear? I think it's more of a convenient way of living. I mean, why bother? If someone wants to cheat on you, it's usually inevitable. Best is imho to give her a free hand, and NOT to rise hopes too much. just for the sake of safety
It doesn't stop me from caring for the other person, too.
That sounds a bit strange. If you have no real relationship no cheating is possible. No "promises" have been made. As long as you just meet another person a few times a week and you don't know what the other person is doing the rest of the time and don't care for more, I don't think you can call that a relationship that involves any kind of trust. It's of a non-committal nature anyway.
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DagothGares
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posted June 09, 2009 01:46 PM |
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Quote:
learn to love yourself.
Easier said than done.
I am a paragon of all that is right in this world!
I say it once or twice a week, it hrdly helps 
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Doomforge
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posted June 09, 2009 01:50 PM |
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Doomforge, I feel a bit sad for you. Trust is a cornerstone of any great relationship.
Why is that? Any proof?
No, my self-esteem is fine, thank you.
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I just think you will miss out on a whole new plateu of a relationship if you can not trust those you are with. Of course some are happy with that. I know I was for a long time. They are called 'shallow' relationships. The one deeper relationship I was fortunate enough to experience these others could not even come close to compairing to. Even after loosing them to an accident, and the way that it hurt so deep I still would never trade that experience for a million of the 'shallow' kind.
What is the difference whether I am absolutely sure that girl X won't get bored someday (which would be stupid because it happens ALL the time, to all people around, multiple times at life !??!??!?!) or I am simply considering that a future possibility, enjoying a good relationship and caring for her?
Why can't people bear the thought that relationships can end?
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However, I will still hope that one day you get a chance to experience true love, true trust, and true happiness. It can hurt worse then imaginable sometimes, but it can also be the best feeling one can ever have.
Thanks for the kind words.
Although I don't really need to over-trust people - there is nothing bad in leaving a small safety margin. I know so many people who were soooooooooooooooooo sure. I bet you do, too. The look on their faces when they suddenly get the truth hammered into their skull.... duh. It would be MUCH better for them if they simply weren't fascination-blinded to that extent.
We are NOT monogamists by default, btw.
Fauch: Relationships end not only because of cheating: getting bored is more common. We can't help it, too. It simply happens
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Mytical
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posted June 09, 2009 02:12 PM |
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Ah, see I don't grasp the concept of jealousy, so I didn't even consider that you might think I was talking monogamy. Trusting somebody does not by definition apply only to monogamous relationships. Trust means that if they say "I was having a day at the beauty shop." you do not think "I bet they were out doing X instead".
I know I am a lot different then most, but I really do not care if they sleep with everybody that says hi. It is the fact that at the end of the day they are with ME, and that is what counts (to me). Of course I know most people do not think that way, sometimes I just forget people don't know I don't.
When you have faith in your partner, and they have faith in you that is something that transcends (to me) any other feeling.
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DagothGares
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posted June 09, 2009 02:17 PM |
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Quote:
Love
Philip Larkin
The difficult part of love
Is being selfish enough,
Is having the blind persistence
To upset an existence
Just for your own sake.
What cheek it must take.
And then the unselfish side --
How can you be satisfied,
Putting someone else first
So that you come out worst?
My life is for me.
As well ignore gravity.
Still, vicious or virtuous,
Love suits most of us.
Only the bleeder found
Selfish this wrong way round
Is ever wholly rebuffed,
And he will get stuffed.
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JollyJoker
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posted June 09, 2009 02:46 PM |
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@ Mytical
Right, I completely agree. The cornerstone of every serious relationship is that you believe what your partner says. Without any doubt. It makes no sense, if partner says, "I've been in the beauty shop", and you think, "Be that as it may, I hope that's true, but I wouldn't bet serious money on it because it might be a lie as well."
Of course there is no guarantee that a relationship will last an eternity. But that has nothing to do with it - you may go separate ways for a plethora of reasons and lots of them do not involve any betrayal. In fact, lots of people are just too weak - or don't have the heart, if you want to - to finish a hopeless relationship when the time has come. They keep to it and become unhappy. Cheating is sometimes just a kind of "burning bridges" action to make a final point.
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Doomforge
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posted June 09, 2009 04:20 PM |
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But not having full trust doesn't mean doubting every word
I see it that way: I actually believe in those words. And I don't want to care if they are true or not, I simply don't think of it.
It's just that I ALWAYS consider failure as an option. Indeed, people are weak, that's why 100% trust would be pointless.
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mvassilev
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posted June 09, 2009 04:53 PM |
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Doomforge:
Your pessimism is one of the reasons you can't hold a relationship. If you can't trust your GF, then what's the point? Sex? How pathetic to have a relationship just for that. You need to find a person you can trust - a person who won't get bored with you - and stick with them.
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Doomforge
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posted June 09, 2009 05:19 PM |
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It's not me who can't hold a relationship...
and let me put this straight for the last time: I don't give a damn about trust and I don't need it.
Oh, and statistics are on my side too: statistically people have 7 partners in their lifetime. Go figure
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mvassilev
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posted June 09, 2009 05:29 PM |
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You know what I meant. You don't go out with girls who can hold a relationship. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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JollyJoker
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posted June 09, 2009 05:30 PM |
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Quote:
Oh, and statistics are on my side too: statistically people have 7 partners in their lifetime. Go figure
What has that got to do with it? Statistically 100% of the people will die eventually. So why bother anything at all?
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DagothGares
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posted June 09, 2009 05:32 PM |
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Statistically I'm asian [/wrong science]
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Doomforge
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posted June 09, 2009 05:43 PM |
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No, statistically you're part asian. ;D
Anyway, the whole point is: people have MANY partners in their lifetime in majority. They start and end relationships sooo often.
But they still declare "trust" and - worse - LOVE towards every partner.
AND THEN THEY DUMP HIM/HER FOR SOMEONE MORE INTERESTING.
WHo is the hypocrite here - me or THEM? ;>
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JollyJoker
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posted June 09, 2009 06:12 PM |
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Quote:
Anyway, the whole point is: people have MANY partners in their lifetime in majority. They start and end relationships sooo often.
But they still declare "trust" and - worse - LOVE towards every partner.
AND THEN THEY DUMP HIM/HER FOR SOMEONE MORE INTERESTING.
WHo is the hypocrite here - me or THEM? ;>
Sure, they start and end relationships so often. But they don't "dump" people for someone more interesting - someone else is more interesting because the current partner isn't anymore: when you get dumped for someone else the relationship is usually dead for some time or has never been intended to last.
"Trust" doesn't mean that you trust the relationship to last an eternity. "Trust" means that you have faith in your partner being fair to you and won't do anything willingly to hurt you, for example, FIRST dump you (because you just don't get along too well), and THEN look for someone else and not the other way round (if that is important for you).
I mean, if people get to know someone, are together for some time, then decide to live together - they actually don't know that much about each other, do they? The other person may still be a psycho, a liar, you never know what's going on behind those eyes. You either have faith into another person or you don't. If you don't have that faith, a close relationship simply makes no sense - why having one with someone you won't trust?
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