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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 09, 2009 07:19 PM |
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The average person has seven partners in their lifetime.
The average person.
But many people have much fewer, and many have much more.
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Eccentric Opinion
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 09, 2009 07:20 PM |
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I'm finished working for today, so I have more time now and will go a bit into detail.
Every relaionship is ultimately based on more or less trust, even a short and superficial one.
This has to do with intimacy. The more intimate details a person makes available to another one, the more vulnerable said person becomes: Let's say you are working for some company with lots of colleagues, how would you like it to see all the intimate details coursing round the office? Which is what may happen, if you end a relationship on less than cordial terms which can happen. This would be awkward at best and can be destastrous at worst.
So ultimately trust means that you trust another person to accept you THE WAY YOU ACTUALLY ARE and to not use this knowledge to your disadvantage. This needs trust in yourself (I don't need to play-act a person I'm not), and trust that the other person is trusting you the same way.
I'm sure that most problems are the result of not trusting each other - not having the courage to actually be the way you are right away and not only two years after moving in together.
In my experience EVERYONE is looking for a person they can share complete mutual trust with. You've seen the situations ad infinitum in tons of movies. Someone is caught in an awkward situation by his partner - there is a perfectly harmless, but completely unbelievable explanation. And generally the catcher does NOT believe the explanations of the caught, at least initially. But everyone would WANT their partner do believe their story, as incredible as it may seem, cause strange things happen and the story happens to be true.
Or a strange occurence. A strange sighting. Suddenly being the suspect in some crime case. Everyone wants a person who WILL have faith enough to trust the partner to tell the truth as unlikely it may seem.
Which, then, is what relationship is all about. Trust and honesty.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted June 09, 2009 07:33 PM |
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I thought it's about caring for each other and having great time together. >___>
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted June 09, 2009 08:33 PM |
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Quote:
No, statistically you're part asian. ;D
Huh?
Quote:
Which, then, is what relationship is all about. Trust and honesty.
You should add there "respect" as well.
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 09, 2009 08:41 PM |
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I care for a lot of people (and animals and things like my bank account, my car, my flat my health and a couple thousand others) and I sincerely hope most of them care for me. Additionally I had and have a great time with a lot of persons (and animals and things).
I'm sure, for example, that my best Heroes buddy whom I know for 30 years and with whom I've played Hot Seat Heroes a dozen years or so for whole weekends, drinking ourselves blind in the process, care for each other, have a great time once in a while and surely share a relationship with each other - but we couldn't share our life on that foundation alone, could we?
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 09, 2009 08:48 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
Which, then, is what relationship is all about. Trust and honesty.
You should add there "respect" as well.
Well, that's like saying, you have to be attracted to someone. Why would you develop a deep relationship to someone you don't respect? While you may have some ideas here for reasons, it should be pretty clear that you cannot love someone you don't respect.
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted June 09, 2009 09:19 PM |
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JJ is right on this one. The foundation of any successful relationship is trust. If trust goes, the relationship goes with it.
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted June 09, 2009 09:39 PM |
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Ok. Let's assume there is trust then, there is honesty, there is respect.
But you don't have anything to talk about, you don't feel anything higher than simple respect towards each other and you are bored as hell of each other.
Result: Failure.
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted June 09, 2009 10:08 PM |
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Quote:
But you don't have anything to talk about, you don't feel anything higher than simple respect towards each other and you are bored as hell of each other.
Why don't you have anything to talk about? What are you, monkeys?
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 09, 2009 10:12 PM |
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Quote:
Ok. Let's assume there is trust then, there is honesty, there is respect.
But you don't have anything to talk about, you don't feel anything higher than simple respect towards each other and you are bored as hell of each other.
Result: Failure.
Well, you don't love someone because said someone is boring the hell out of you. Attraction comes first, obviously, otherwise you would "drift past each other". Now, that attraction may be based on whatever - it will fade with time if it covers JUST sex. Or JUST having a good talk. In fact you want to have a good talk in between sex AND a good time in between those two. Not to mention that there are those who want to have a good talk WHILE having sex (even though that talk may be quite mono-syllaballical) or a good time while talking about something.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted June 09, 2009 10:54 PM |
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Quote:
Why don't you have anything to talk about? What are you, monkeys?
I know a lot of girls that simply do not have ANYTHING to say at all.
Seriously.
They have no interests and no real life at all - they only study and party (get drunk).
They are not necessarily dumb (happens in colleges all the time.)
I am certain you also know such girls/women Cor.
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted June 09, 2009 11:07 PM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 23:08, 09 Jun 2009.
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They have no interests and no real life at all - they only study and party (get drunk).
Then talk about parties, the study and getting drunk.
Besides, those usually are the type of girl that cannot shut up. Ever.
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted June 09, 2009 11:14 PM |
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Edited by Corribus at 23:15, 09 Jun 2009.
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I know a lot of girls that simply do not have ANYTHING to say at all.
Then perhaps you're looking in the wrong places. Or you're trying to talk to them at the wrong time. Everybody has interests. It can take some effort getting past a person's superficialities, or past their initial defenses. Building a relationship takes work.
When have you tried to talk to these people? At a party? The atmosphere has to be right. I think maybe your expectations are too high for a first encounter. It's too much to expect some deep, engaging conversation with a person the first time you meet them.
EDIT: That's not to say that everyone is right for everyone, or that there aren't people who aren't as shallow as a tidal pool. But I think that it's hard to make those conclusions based on superficial meetings.
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 10, 2009 12:52 AM |
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Doomforge, what you are saying just doesn't sound realistic. Yes, there are many people such as you describe (although, in my experience, the people who study are interesting). But to the point where it is impossible to find anyone with whom to pursue a relationship? Hardly.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted June 10, 2009 10:33 AM |
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It sounds like the old excuse. "Its not me, its them."
A person doesn't put forth the effort to build a serious relationship, and then wonders what went wrong when every relationship they have ends. It must be because of the other person obviously.
The other person had nothing to say.
The other person found somebody else more interesting.
The other person was superficial.
The other person was not serious.
It takes two to tango my friend.
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Message received.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted June 10, 2009 10:57 AM |
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No.
Just no.
Not in all cases.
Don't force blame on people who weren't guilty.
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted June 10, 2009 12:27 PM |
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Bah, if they have nothing to say, then don't talk to them.
I fail to see the problem or the fuss personally. I mean, who cares.
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted June 10, 2009 12:40 PM |
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted June 10, 2009 03:53 PM |
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I like to talk...
I hate the silence..
It scares me, I have some thing with thinking that silence is equal to something bad.
So if our conversation runs dry, I get insecure and I try to make a new one..
I don't know if you understand?
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Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted June 10, 2009 03:56 PM |
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I do, I do, I am afraid she might think I'm broing if I stop speaking for awhile. But this is to say to doomforge: the fact that there are moments where you don't have anything to say isn't the worst imaginable thing and shouldn't really be an excuse.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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