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| Thread: Men against Penis |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · NEXT» |
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted May 07, 2009 05:38 PM |
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Men against Penis
I have made a great discovery today! Revealed a conspiracy, one might say.
My fellow men; the penis is evil!
Now I finally understand the saying: "thinking with the wrong end of your body," it refers to one's mind beign controlled by his penis! We must face it; ever since puberty we are in a constant battle for control with our penis. Some of us fare better while some of us are fighting a losing battle. Is this just a matter considering individuals? It is not. There are many works that can be percieved as a work of a collective of penis.
Have a look at this!
If that is not a work of penis, then I'm not sure what is real. (though I'm not sure what is real even if it is a work of penis since my sensory apparatus might be giving me false data.)
That is not all! Since the dawn of armed conflict weaponry has been always more or less shaped like penis! Even cucumbers and bananas are alligned with penis!
I'm watching you!
Sigmund Freud was a treath to the penis collective. He knew that the penis was capable of mind control. The penises started watching him. All the time, Freud saw penis everywhere. The penis collective was haunting him even in his dreams. However, he eventually was taken out by the penis before he could warn us.
Kidding around in a worldwide crisis like this is not an option! We have to take action before the penis collective conquers the world and starts reaching for the stars in it's fallic space shuttles!
Here is what you must do to shield yourself from the penis's mind control powers:
1. Never do what the penis tells you to! The penis is a devious little creature. You give it your pinkie and it grabs the whole arm!
2. If the penis is attempting to affect your thinking more subtly: Slap yourself accross the face for regaining your focus and giving negative feedback on penis induced thoughts; if it hurts to think with the penis, you stop doing it subconsiously.
3. Warn everyone you know of this danger from within! The world must know the truth! If a friend or acquaintance has already befallen to the penis, you must attempt to break the penis's control!
Fight the good fight folks! Join the Men against Penis!
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted May 07, 2009 05:43 PM |
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Quote:
The resemblance is amazing. It even has the twin jet engines. Isn't posting something like this against the CoC?
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted May 07, 2009 05:46 PM |
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Hey, phoenixreborn is also a phallic symbol!
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted May 07, 2009 05:51 PM |
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My fears were correct!
We already have an agent of the penis collective amongst us!
Thank you for this information Dagoth. You may have played a vital role in the battle against penis.
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted May 07, 2009 05:54 PM |
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Keksi you're seeing things  But yeah I'm with you!
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Anakrom
Known Hero
(Scroll) Out of the blue
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posted May 07, 2009 06:03 PM |
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Just think about other option available:
Alliance with Penis... you canīt defeat him absolutely after all... two are stronger than one... World domination...
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Result matters
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted May 07, 2009 06:06 PM |
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Actually you can but I'm not considering the option.
Allying is also not safe, how long before it corrupts you and bends you to its will 
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted May 07, 2009 06:55 PM |
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Depenisvanjezus
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted May 07, 2009 06:56 PM |
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You forgot the hotdog in a bun 
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Dreaming of a Better World
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blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted May 07, 2009 07:00 PM |
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Quote:
You forgot the hotdog in a bun
The things advertisers will do.
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted May 07, 2009 07:33 PM |
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The penis can't be bargained or reasoned with! Their one goal is total domination.
Penises. Can't live with them, can't live without them.
- Unknown barkeeper
Words of wisdom my friend, words of wisdom.
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted May 07, 2009 07:39 PM |
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Check it out.
You'll be glad you did.
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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Anakrom
Known Hero
(Scroll) Out of the blue
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posted May 07, 2009 07:49 PM |
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Quote:
The penis can't be bargained or reasoned with! Their one goal is total domination.
In that case we will have to pact a contract with their worst enemy, WOMEN! 
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Result matters
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Totoro
Famous Hero
in User
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posted May 07, 2009 07:51 PM |
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I'm against this! If your penis doesn't think, then you're never gonna get laid and life will be horrible!
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted May 07, 2009 07:54 PM |
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted May 07, 2009 08:01 PM |
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Quote:
I'm against this! If your penis doesn't think, then you're never gonna get laid and life will be horrible!
Not true.
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted May 07, 2009 08:19 PM |
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@Totoro: Getting laid isn't all that makes life worth living. Penis thinking is destructive and unnecessary. Also, we cannot let the penis collective win.
Also, opposing the penis doesn't necessarily mean abstinence.
@Corribus: It is worse than I thought! The penis collective has already spread this far! This must be greatest weapons the penis collective has created to aid their conquest.
@Geny: I'm not sure what to say about that. 
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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Darkshadow
Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
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posted May 07, 2009 08:23 PM |
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Keksi, you know this is a battle you are going to lose?
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted May 07, 2009 08:32 PM |
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Some might call it folly and some might call it bravery.
I will never give up!
I must track down the overmind or the queen of the penis collective and make an end to it! Only then will mankind be free of this curse!
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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Darkshadow
Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
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posted May 07, 2009 08:35 PM |
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Quote:
I must track down the overmind or the queen of the penis collective and make an end to it! Only then will mankind be free of this curse!
I have to inform you that your species evolution is not nearly far enough for such a leap 
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