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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: I gave up believing in happiness
Thread: I gave up believing in happiness This thread is 3 pages long: 1 2 3 · «PREV
violent_flower
violent_flower


Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
posted October 16, 2009 05:36 PM

My Thoughts

What if no ones cares
What if were all dead
What if God is just an idea,
That seeped in your head

Is there this chance that we really mean nothing
A notion that you are the only one that cares
Can it be that we are lacking the ability?
To kill the one that bares

I don’t believe this thing called fate
My heart is thin and fragile
It has been soiled and soaked in hate
Someday maybe in another life I will
  find the courage that it takes

You know it just makes you think,
*pauses to clear thoughts*
Never mind, the words are like acid to my half thoughts
I have to sit on the window ledge that separates you
  From me…

I will watch you as you fall and fail
I will not offer you my love nor soul
You will die such I, alone
 Why, because that is the one “what if” that can be answered now.  
 

Here is a poem that I wrote, it is sad and hopeless for the most part and this was a few years ago that I felt this way. However this was just a moment in my many moments here.

We have several of them, some better than others, they
all seem to run together at some point. Then
one day, one moment sticks out and starts to stab
at what is left of you.

You feel hopeless, laying in bed irritated that your feather pillow
keeps poking at your tear filled eyes. It will pass, it is
just a moment, it may seem like a long moment, but it will pass.

You will move on and realize that what you thought was a
big deal was real nothing. The day you find out Santa does not
squeeze his fat white ass down your chimney. Its really mom and
dad making pathetic attempts to have you believe in another
world so this world can be tolerable.

Thinking that a bunny really snows out eggs, colored with
sharp glitter pieces all over them, oh and your name.

How about that snowy little tooth fairy that never leaves you
quite enough loot for all that pain you went through. I would like
to rip her little fairy wings off.

Made up fantasies, it is why you game, it is why you consume your time
with pointless hobbies, and it why we try to
escape reality as much as we can.

Our parents have been teaching us this for years now. The problem
is once you find out that they were the ones
bringing you those nasty marshmallow bunnies and
the snowy freaking xmas socks, it almost really
pisses you off.

Why couldn't you just believe what you wanted, why did you have
to be thrown into reality like bad relationships, horrible jobs,
and false expectations about parenting?

Well because that is what life is all about, right? No, in the end it
is what you decide it should be, you make your destiny whatever
you want too.

Success and happiness do not come to
you, you must seek it out. A Mr. John Fenley once
told me that, I think about it often.


Good luck with your moment!



____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!

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Shyranis
Shyranis


Promising
Supreme Hero
posted October 16, 2009 05:54 PM

All I can do is give you a hug and call you friend. *hug*
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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
posted October 16, 2009 06:10 PM

Sad to hear bixie. Sure a lot of things are crap right now and it is not easy to set them straight, in fact I doubt you could ever agree with others what setting them straight would be. But it's still a whole lot better than previous ages where people practically lived in the snow, had zero education, no health care and their landlord snowed their women. Amongst other fun things.

In the end your life is all you have and you are not making the best out of it. Just complaining at how unfair it all is won't solve a thing nor will it make you feel better. Sith happens, deal with it.
____________
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Fauch
Fauch


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted October 16, 2009 06:12 PM

Quote:
our society has gone to sh*T and there is nothing anyone can do about it!


maybe there's something we could do, but we don't know what.
imo the best way wouldn't be too change the society, the government or the system but changing the people. making them more tolerant, respectful, trustful, etc...

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bixie
bixie


Promising
Legendary Hero
my common sense is tingling!
posted October 16, 2009 11:10 PM

Quote:
Quote:
our society has gone to sh*T and there is nothing anyone can do about it!


maybe there's something we could do, but we don't know what.
imo the best way wouldn't be too change the society, the government or the system but changing the people. making them more tolerant, respectful, trustful, etc...
wake up dreamer, as though that's going to happen!

there was a time when I used to think people were bright. misguided, yes, ignorant, yes, but never, NEVER, stupid.

and what do the people do? Vote in two creatures who continue on with wars nobody wants, poor acolades and hatred on a woman who wouldn't have been famous if not for television, scorn and riducle the new media out there. and you know what, no they won't change, becuase they will see you as the enemy and sink further in their self destructive ways.

Stupid, every single one of us human beings, absolutely, mind bogglingly STUPID!!! including you, including me, EVERYONE IS A F***ING MORON!!!!!!
____________
Love, Laugh, Learn, Live.

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Nebdar
Nebdar


Promising
Supreme Hero
Generation N
posted October 16, 2009 11:54 PM
Edited by Nebdar at 23:55, 16 Oct 2009.

As much is worth or mean anything i can say this:

I have been through this... i thought the same way....  i thought i would end...  quicker then the original expiration date....

I found my way of life, i found myself ,i found balance ,i found happines not far but very close in me an surrounding world It is very fragile at best but still it is...

This is a test of yourself your character. How much there is will, dreams, desires hidden inside of you to live happy as ever after to live. they saved me.... so i can be here.... Of course there was some help and love from others. But everything starts inside you... with your will to live happy

We all need time to stand the test of life and time
____________

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Fauch
Fauch


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted October 17, 2009 12:15 AM

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
our society has gone to sh*T and there is nothing anyone can do about it!


maybe there's something we could do, but we don't know what.
imo the best way wouldn't be too change the society, the government or the system but changing the people. making them more tolerant, respectful, trustful, etc...
wake up dreamer, as though that's going to happen!


well, obviously we haven't found the way to do it yet.

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Eden
Eden


Adventuring Hero
posted October 17, 2009 03:08 AM

Hey Bix, sorry to hear you're down (If it makes ya feel better I'm kind of down too, so you're in good company I don't know if this will help at all, but when I get down I find doing constructive service or work really fun and appeasing, plus its helped me make friends in the past.

As for Friends, well I've personally found that I can't really go out and make friends...for some reason with me good friends just seem to find me, just as long as I put myself in situations to bump into them.

Hope I was able to help, just cheer up,smile awhile, frowning isn't your style!

“Hope springs eternal in the human breast,
Man never is but to be blest.”
-Alexander Pope, the Essay on Man

According to Alex life should get better somehow for ya, hopefully
____________
If I must die, I will encounter darkness as a bride, And hug it in mine arms." —William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
posted October 19, 2009 12:53 AM


____________
"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."

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