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| Thread: Why is it... |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Adrius
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posted April 11, 2011 05:22 PM |
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Hmm...
Well our mind and body reflect each other. When the mind is sad it wants the body to look sad (e.g. cry), but it works the other way around too.
Keep a smile on your face instead... even if you personally don't believe in the smile your subconscious will be tricked into thinking the body is happy, and thereby relieving the pain (wtf body is smiling? He must've experienced something awesome! IMMA PUMP HIM FULL OF REWARD-DRUGS!)
Will let you handle the situation better.
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bLiZzArdbOY
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posted April 11, 2011 06:01 PM |
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Quote:
Hmm...
Well our mind and body reflect each other. When the mind is sad it wants the body to look sad (e.g. cry), but it works the other way around too.
Keep a smile on your face instead... even if you personally don't believe in the smile your subconscious will be tricked into thinking the body is happy, and thereby relieving the pain (wtf body is smiling? He must've experienced something awesome! IMMA PUMP HIM FULL OF REWARD-DRUGS!)
Will let you handle the situation better.
This is so horribly wrong, or you're just a very odd individual (I already know you're odd, but this would be yet another way that you're odd). Putting on a facade that is contrary to how you feel increases the burden of stress.
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JollyJoker
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posted April 11, 2011 06:02 PM |
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I don't think, that crying is indignified.
That's just male propaganda. 
Anyway, that's not strictly the issue here. Pity was mentioned as well.
The question is why we avoid to show it, when something really gets to us, emotionally. You could also phrase the question a bit differently, asking why our hearts seem to have hardened so much (but that has a religious undercurrent), because when you can control this feelings you have to harden your heart, otherwise it WILL get to you...
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bLiZzArdbOY
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posted April 11, 2011 06:11 PM |
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Crying is a very beautiful form of expression. Females can often get away with it without being placed in a socially awkward situation, though unfortunately the same cannot be said for men, and I believe the promotion of expression is critical toward male liberation (Yes, there is such a thing  ). People might say a woman has to act so and so, and a guy has to act so and so. This is, of course, dumb, and I refuse to deny myself certain joys simply because I'm a male.
No doubt, part of it is certainly that as a gender we are inherently not as expressive of our emotions as women are, though I believe that this predisposition becomes unhealthily exaggerated by societal expectations, and indeed, the deliberate suppression of emotions is unhealthy both to our bodies and to our attitudes.
How people express themselves and how they react can vary from person to person, so this may be a personal bias on my part, however I'm somewhat sympathetic toward men that go out of their way to not cry at all cost, because crying is the one thing that is literally better than an orgasm. I can think of some traditional "guy movies" that I watched that brought me to tears because there were scenes that were so sad and/or beautiful: Braveheart, Valkyrie, Gladiator, The Last Samurai, The Patriot, The Return of the Jedi. All of these movies had scenes that brought me to tears, and I can't imagine going back and deliberately holding my tears in under the belief that I shouldn't cry. I mean I suppose I could have if I truly wanted to, but I'm only brought to tears maybe a few times a year, and it is literally the best experience on Earth, so the idea of suppressing myself seems like complete madness to me.
Of course people may also cry out of sorrow. I can't comment on this since I have never been in a situation where I was brought to tears over grief, though if somebody very close to me were ever to die - most of all my niece - I'm sure I would be brought to tears. Once again, I don't see why I would even try suppress it for the same reason I wouldn't want to cry over seeing something so sad/beautiful.
There's an understandable concern that if you promote crying too much, you might eventually end up with an utterly dickless society where people walk around mopping over everything and anything, akin to a how a small child will often cry over something petty. However, I think this boils down to a person blowing something out of proportion. I think it's perfectly mutually inclusive to chastise somebody for crying because it's snowing outside, and to condone somebody for crying because they saw something very beautiful/sad, or if a loved one just died. The problem of crying over small inconveniences goes away as a person matures into an adult.
You might not cry because the society you live in might consider it undignified, though this is very circular. There needs to be a relevant reason for why crying is bad other than an old, unfounded belief that it's a sign of weakness.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Corribus
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The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted April 11, 2011 06:14 PM |
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I don't cry. Crying is for girly men. Unless you get kicked in the nads. Then it's ok to cry.
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selcy
Famous Hero
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posted April 11, 2011 06:21 PM |
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I don't cry. Crying is for girly men. Unless you get kicked in the nads. Then it's ok to cry.
Sorry I disagree with that. I think when a man is upset and he cries and shows his emotions to me makes them more of a man. Can't really explain it but it pulls at my heart strings and I don't know how to put it in to words.....
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Corribus
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posted April 11, 2011 06:44 PM |
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Edited by Corribus at 18:48, 11 Apr 2011.
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Alright, so lemme ask you a question:
When the aliens attack, do you want a man who will stand there and cry, or do you want one will grab his katana and take those snows down, ninja-style?
Huh? HUH?
That's what I thought.
Women always talk about how much they want a sensitive man, but when the proctonauts start abducting people, they'll come flocking to the emotional eunuchs like myself faster than you can say "rectal probe".
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Adrius
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posted April 11, 2011 06:49 PM |
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This is so horribly wrong, or you're just a very odd individual (I already know you're odd, but this would be yet another way that you're odd)
U-huh.
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Putting on a facade that is contrary to how you feel increases the burden of stress.
Well I disagree by stating the exact opposite.
Now what do you do?
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Fauch
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posted April 11, 2011 06:50 PM |
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Edited by Fauch at 19:00, 11 Apr 2011.
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Quote:
The question is why we avoid to show it, when something really gets to us, emotionally. You could also phrase the question a bit differently, asking why our hearts seem to have hardened so much (but that has a religious undercurrent), because when you can control this feelings you have to harden your heart, otherwise it WILL get to you...
I'm not sure gnome was specifically talking about emotions and hiding them.
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When the aliens attack, do you want a man who will stand there and cry, or do you want one will grab his katana and take those snows down, ninja-style?
poor aliens need compassion. that kind of violent behaviour is a sign of fear.
now, problems seem to be often solved by force. maybe because men are too stupid to find a better way?
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Azagal
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posted April 11, 2011 06:51 PM |
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Edited by Azagal at 18:54, 11 Apr 2011.
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to condone somebody for crying because they saw something very beautiful/sad, or if a loved one just died.
No one, no one said anything remotely like that...
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You might not cry because the society you live in might consider it undignified, though this is very circular. There needs to be a relevant reason for why crying is bad other than an old, unfounded belief that it's a sign of weakness.
It is not an old and unfounded belief Blizzard like I explained just a few posts ago. If you cry you refuse to be the master of your emotions.Not all situations require you to be in controle but some do. It's called "letting yourself go" for a reason. Crying is simply indulging your weakness because it would be so much harder to fight the urge to cry. People who cry simply don't want to struggle or believe they can't win that fight against themselves. Struggeling with yourself and then losing isn't condemnable since you tried you gave it your all but not trying at all? That is quite frankly pathetic.
No one ever mentioned that crying itself is bad. Crying at a movie or the passing of someone isn't bad of course it isn't NO ONE SAID THAT.
I have no problem with crying. I've cried at the funeral of my grandmother, I cried at the airport train station for atleast 20 minutes when I said goodbye to my then girlfriend of 21 months who was moving to austria I just couldn't help myself I didn't want to cry I just started crying and couldn't stop not that I was making an effort to stop it it just happend, I've cried during movies (not sobbing just shedding a tear) and I've cried when my sister and me or my parents had very bad fights. There is nothing wrong with crying in such situations or situations that are similar to those. Where you've got nothing to lose by crying and it's simply an expression of your feelings.
I however abhore it when people cry when something depends on them, when they have a reputation to preserve or are acting as an example to someone. Crying then is nothing but admitting that you're not able to handle what you're confronted with, that you'd rather just accept fate as it is and give up than get a hold of yourself and fight your base emotions.
Oh and I don't cry Blizzard not because of the society I live in (no Asian would have weept as I did at the Airport Trainstation for example) but I have demands for myself and one of those is to be strong when I have to be. Not crying when it's neither the time nor the place for it is most certainly a big part of that.
I understand what you mean Selcy it takes some courage and a great deal of selfconfidence to honestly cry and those are traits that are attractive be they in women or in men.
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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bLiZzArdbOY
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posted April 11, 2011 07:17 PM |
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@Azagal:
I basically agree with what you said. (I didn't actually read the first page so I wasn't going out of my way to target you except for the last sentence). I grew up with anime-loving friends that thought the way Asians suppress their emotions was the coolest thing ever and a sign of superiority, which I disagree with, so it's made me somewhat abrasive to the subject.
In my mind an authentic sign of weakness during times of emotional duress is when you allow your pain to compromise your judgment. This is weakness. Crying in itself is a basic expression of grief (or joy), which is why I don't think it should be discouraged unless you're in a situation where it's practical to keep yourself calm.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted April 11, 2011 07:20 PM |
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@blizz
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I would grab my katana and take those snows down, ninja-style, while weeping on behalf of the alien widows and orphans of Planet Nebiru Prime.
Didn't say that coming, did you?
No. In fact, your ruthless destruction of my carefully honed argument has brought a tear to my eye. I'M SO PROUD!
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Jabanoss
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posted April 11, 2011 07:21 PM |
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Edited by Jabanoss at 19:22, 11 Apr 2011.
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Crying is awesome, allows me to get the sadness out of the system and instead just focus on actually solving the problem.
It's like a huge boost of energy, but a somewhat negative one though.
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"You turn me on Jaba"
- Meroe
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted April 11, 2011 07:30 PM |
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I imagine if I ever cried, which of course I never would, it would go something like this.
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bLiZzArdbOY
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posted April 11, 2011 07:40 PM |
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Zenofex
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posted April 11, 2011 08:11 PM |
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Women always talk about how much they want a sensitive man, but when the proctonauts start abducting people, they'll come flocking to the emotional eunuchs like myself faster than you can say "rectal probe".
Why "will", they do it all the time.  They always talk how the men "should express their emotions more freely" but when they actually start doing it (I mean, more than once per 4-5 years), they are classified as crybabies and unmanly. Of course the women's way of thinking will the last thing in the universe that the science will manage to decipher and we haven't even started yet, but still...
Crying in most cases is girlish indeed, it means that you can't handle the immediate situation and prefer to "bypass" it. Nobody should stop you from doing it when the urge is too great - like if you lose somebody very dear to you - but whimpering on a daily basis when somebody or something offends you or hurts you means that you aren't doing something right.
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Fauch
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posted April 11, 2011 08:31 PM |
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I grew up with anime-loving friends that thought the way Asians suppress their emotions was the coolest thing ever and a sign of superiority, which I disagree with, so it's made me somewhat abrasive to the subject.
isn't it a sign of humility in asian culture? I read it is just avoiding to drag the attention to you. because they see it as kind of an egoist behaviour.
while in our culture, it's completely different, it is to look strong and self confident. you want to get all the attention. except in the cases when you aren't looking strong.
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bLiZzArdbOY
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posted April 11, 2011 08:41 PM |
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My friends were the ones that saw it as a sign of superiority. I have no idea how Asians themselves generally look at it.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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selcy
Famous Hero
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posted April 11, 2011 08:45 PM |
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What annoys me most about males isn't the fact they can't show thier emotions (although some do) its the ones that can't admit when they are wrong and apologise. Does that make you less of a man to say sorry and admit your human!! That seems to be the norm in all countries.
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Fauch
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posted April 11, 2011 08:49 PM |
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Edited by Fauch at 20:55, 11 Apr 2011.
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in all countries, maybe not, but that reminds me of school. when the teacher interrogated you and you didn't know the answer, you didn't dare admitting it, because you thought you would be punished for it.
at work, now, when people make a mistake, they try to hide it because they think they may get fired for it.
in a couple, I suppose you just fear the other one will stop loving you if you admit?
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Does that make you less of a man to say sorry and admit your human!!
but does the society wants humans or "flawless" robots?
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