Heroes of Might and Magic Community
visiting hero! Register | Today's Posts | Games | Search! | FAQ/Rules | AvatarList | MemberList | Profile


Age of Heroes Headlines:  
5 Oct 2016: Heroes VII development comes to an end.. - read more
6 Aug 2016: Troubled Heroes VII Expansion Release - read more
26 Apr 2016: Heroes VII XPack - Trial by Fire - Coming out in June! - read more
17 Apr 2016: Global Alternative Creatures MOD for H7 after 1.8 Patch! - read more
7 Mar 2016: Romero launches a Piano Sonata Album Kickstarter! - read more
19 Feb 2016: Heroes 5.5 RC6, Heroes VII patch 1.7 are out! - read more
13 Jan 2016: Horn of the Abyss 1.4 Available for Download! - read more
17 Dec 2015: Heroes 5.5 update, 1.6 out for H7 - read more
23 Nov 2015: H7 1.4 & 1.5 patches Released - read more
31 Oct 2015: First H7 patches are out, End of DoC development - read more
5 Oct 2016: Heroes VII development comes to an end.. - read more
[X] Remove Ads
LOGIN:     Username:     Password:         [ Register ]
HOMM1: info forum | HOMM2: info forum | HOMM3: info mods forum | HOMM4: info CTG forum | HOMM5: info mods forum | MMH6: wiki forum | MMH7: wiki forum
Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Some funny jokes
Thread: Some funny jokes
Lord_Echo
Lord_Echo


Famous Hero
Ranger of the good
posted February 21, 2002 07:57 PM

Some funny jokes

i have some jokes ect. and i would like to share with u guys

Things to do for fun on an elevator:


1) When there's only one other person in the
elevator, tap them on the shoulder and
then pretend it wasn't you.


2) Push the buttons and pretend they give
you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.


3) Ask if you can push the button for other
people, but push the wrong ones.


4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell
phone and ask if they know what floor
you're on.


5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting
for your friend. After awhile, let the doors
close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day
been?"


6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to
help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"


7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone
in the elevator.


8) Move your desk in to the elevator and
whenever someone gets on, ask if they have
an appointment.


9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if
they'd like to play.


10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone
gets on ask them if they hear something
ticking.


11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review
emergency procedures and exits with the
passengers.


12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"


13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them
occasionally.


14) When the doors close, announce to the others,
"It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."


15) Swat at flies that don't exist.


16) Tell people that you can see their aura.


17) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.


18) Grimace painfully while smacking your
forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all
of you, just shut up!"


19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and
while peering inside, ask, Got enough air
in there?"


20) Stand silently and motionless in the
corner, facing the wall, without getting
off.


21) Stare at another passenger for a while,
then announce in horror, "You're one of
THEM!" and back away slowly.


22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to
talk to the other passengers.


23) Listen to the elevator walls with your
stethoscope.


24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses
a button.


25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a
while, and then announce, "I have new socks
on."


26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk
and announce to the other passengers, "This is
my personal space!

ok that was fun wasent it

i will have a 200 page long list later

____________


Don`t be simple, be complx-

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
ShadowLord
ShadowLord


Promising
Famous Hero
of Dope
posted February 21, 2002 08:26 PM

Quote:

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"



I wonder how the guy looks @ you!


____________
Do I need DRUGS when I have HEROES?

Heroes == Good

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Echo
Lord_Echo


Famous Hero
Ranger of the good
posted February 21, 2002 09:40 PM

lol yeah i must try one of those things!
____________


Don`t be simple, be complx-

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Mystery
Mystery


Famous Hero
Hatebreeder
posted February 21, 2002 10:44 PM

lol amazing
____________
D3@th t0 Fals3 m3Tal!

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted February 22, 2002 07:07 PM

Where did you find that?
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Echo
Lord_Echo


Famous Hero
Ranger of the good
posted February 22, 2002 07:48 PM

well lord woock i got it from a friend and i am w8 on 200 pages of jokes!
____________


Don`t be simple, be complx-

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
ShadowLord
ShadowLord


Promising
Famous Hero
of Dope
posted February 23, 2002 12:51 AM

Post the other ones Echo!
____________
Do I need DRUGS when I have HEROES?

Heroes == Good

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Echo
Lord_Echo


Famous Hero
Ranger of the good
posted February 23, 2002 12:32 PM

weeeeeeeeeeeeel i dont have the cd or else u would get them now..... i em going to get them on monday or maby sunday!
____________


Don`t be simple, be complx-

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
celfious
celfious


Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
posted February 24, 2002 08:38 AM

Great joke's man..

This guy in a new bar:
He see's a jar FuLL of dollar bill's and change then
order's a drink, and ask's the bar tendor, "Is this the tip jar?"
"No no, that's the prize to this bet we have going on here."
"Yea', what's the bet?"
"Well, youd have to do three thing's to win.
1'st, you see that big guy in the corner? you have to knock him out in one punch. 2nd, you have to get one tooth out of a vicious bull dog in the basement, and 3'rd. You have to UK the old hag over there."
The guy look's at the tendor and say's, "Oh, well no wonder there's so much money in there! I can't do that"

So time goes on, and after a few  drink's, the guy JUMPed up and knocked out the big guy.. ONe punch, he was on the ground.
Then he ran down stair's. All the people heard was Barking, screaching, screaming, thing's breaking, and wall's taking blow's.
After that, the guy came back up stair's out of breath, blood all over his torn up flanel shirt and he say's..
"Alright. where's that hag at?! I still have to pull out her tooth"

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
SirDunco
SirDunco


Responsible
Supreme Hero
posted February 24, 2002 09:59 AM

lmao

great!!!! perfect. It works even when u haven't slep for about 22 hours!!! Seconds!
____________

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Echo
Lord_Echo


Famous Hero
Ranger of the good
posted February 24, 2002 11:23 AM
Edited By: Lord_Echo on 27 Feb 2002

ok here we go i have the WHOLE list here it would be too long so i will but in a bit and bit with time..... some norwegian jokes r removed so it would be not so long.... well here is the first coupla pages!

-*-*-

A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his
patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty
because he thought it wasn't really ethical to screw one of his
patients.
However, a little voice in his head said "Lots of other doctors have
sex with their patients so its not like you're the first...".
This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another
voice in his head said, "... but they probably weren't veterinarians".

-*-*-

What a woman says and what a man hears:

What a woman says:

"This place is a mess! C'mon,  you and I need to clean up, Your stuff is
lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do
laundry right now!"

What a man hears:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW

-*-*-

A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes, getting a
little practice in before the final exams. He went over to a table
where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body
and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring
this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his
surprise,   music began playing "On the road again... Just can't wait
to get on   the road again..." The student was amazed, and placed the
cork back in   the rectum. The music stopped. Totally freaked out, the
student called   the Medical Examiner over to the corpse. "Look at
this. This is really   something!" the student told the examiner as he
pulled the cork back   out again. "On the road again... Just can't
wait to get on the road   again..."
"So what?", the Medical Examiner replied, obviously unimpressed with
the student's discovery. "But isn't that the most amazing thing
you've   ever seen?" asked the student.
"Are you kidding?" replied the Examiner, "Any snow can sing
country   music."


-*-*-

So the other day, my friends and I went to this "Gentlemans' Club." One of
my buddies wanted to impress us, so he pulls out a $100 note. The "dancer"
came over to us, and my friend licked the $100 note and put it on her
butt.
Not to be outdone, my other friend pulls out a $1000 note.  He calls the
girl back over, licks the $1000 note, and puts it on her other cheek.  Now the
attention is focused on me.  What could I do to top that?  I got out my
wallet, thought for a minute.....then the banker in me took over.
I got out my Credit card, swiped it down her crack, grabbed
the $1100, and went home.


-*-*-

A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his
order, and he asks her, "What's the special of the day?"

"Chili," she says, "but the gentleman next to you got the last bowl."

The man says he'll just have coffee, and the waitress goes to fetch
it. As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch
and the bowl of chili remained uneaten.

"Are you going to eat your chili?" he asked.

"No, help yourself," replied his neighbor.

The man picked up a spoon and eagerly began devouring the chili. When
he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse
in the bottom of the bowl. Sickened, he puked the chili he had
just eaten backinto the bowl.

"Yeah, that's as far as I got, too," said the man sitting next to him.


-*-*-

There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead traveling through
the desert when their car suddenly stalls.  They all get out
of the car and, upon realizing that it's not going to start,
they each take one thing from the car.  The brunette takes a
bottle of water, the redhead takes a bag of food with her,
and the blonde takes the car door.

They begin to walk through the desert, and soon stop to rest.
At this point the blonde and the brunette turn to the redhead
and ask her why she brought the food.  She replies, "Well, in
case I get hungry I'll have something to eat."

They all think this is pretty reasonable and then the redhead
and the blonde turn to the brunette and ask her why she decided
to bring water.  The brunette replies, "Well, in case I got
thirsty I'll have something to drink."  They all decide that's
a good idea, too.

Finally, the brunette and the redhead turn to the blonde and
ask her why on earth she would take the car door.  She replies,
"Well, I thought if I got hot I could roll down the window."


-*-*-

A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a
hotel in Japan, which was recorded and published in the Far East
Economic Review.....

(Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while
after reading this. It was nominated "best email of 1997")

Room Service:   "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest       :    "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-sevice"
RS:   "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G:   "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS:   "Ow July den?"
G:   "What??"
RS:   "Ow July den?...pry,boy, pooch?"
G:   "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry,scrambled please."
RS:   "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G:   "Crisp will be fine"
RS:   "Hokay. An San tos?"
G:   "What?"
RS:   "San tos. July San tos?"
G:   "I don't think so"
RS:   "No? Judo one toes??"
G:   "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one
toes' means."
RS:  "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish  mopping
we bother?"
G:   "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'  Fine.
Yes,an English  muffin will be fine."
RS:   "We bother?"
G:    "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS:   "Wad?"
G:   "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS:   "Copy?"
G:   "Sorry?"
RS:   "Copy...tea...mill?"
G:   "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS:   "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease
baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and
copy....rye??"
G:   "Whatever you say"
RS:   "Tendjewberrymud"
G :   "You're welcome"

i guess this is enugh for now.... i havent read them all yet to myself.....

____________


Don`t be simple, be complx-

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted February 27, 2002 06:28 PM

Hey, how'dya like this one?

-Why is six afraid of seven?
-Because seven eight nine!

Ya don't get it? Read it aloud. Still don't get it? Read it to someone else. What? You still don't get it? Ok, replace the "eight" with "ate".
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Echo
Lord_Echo


Famous Hero
Ranger of the good
posted February 27, 2002 09:00 PM

lol ur one funny man.... humf....boy

here r some more:

-*-*-

Two ship captains were sitting at the bar one night getting good and lit
when one turned to the other and said, "You know what gets me, though, is
these damn sailors!  Oh sure, they're fine for the first few weeks, but on
those three-month trips at sea they start getting pretty hard up.  With all
the whacking off going on, it's a wonder any work is getting done, and it's
making a mess all over the ship.  I don't know what to do!"

The other captain smiles knowingly at his companion.  "Oldest trick in the
book.  You take the crew and divide them into two teams, then you buy about
50 barrels and put them on the ship.  You tell the crew that the team that
fills the most barrels wins a bag of gold."

"Well that's a great way to keep the ship clean, but then I'm out a bag of
gold every trip!"

"Not so," replied the other captain.  "After you get back to port, take all
the barrels together and sell them to the wax factory to make into candles.
You make a tidy profit every time."

The captain pondered this and the next day, he took his friend's advice and
divided the crew, bought a bunch of barrels, and set off to sea.  Before
long, the crew took to the new system and began filling barrel after
barrel.  When they finally reached port, the captain sold the barrels for a
huge profit.  'This is great,' thought the captain, 'before long, I'll be
able to buy a new boat!'
This went on, voyage after voyage.  Then one day, the ship happened back to
that very first port.  Coming down the gangplank, the captain was surprised
to see the cops waiting for him.  As they slapped the cuffs on him, the
captain cried out "What's the meaning of this?!"

You sick bastard," replied the cop.  "Remember all those barrels you sold
to the candle factory last time you passed through town?"

"Sure," said the captain.  "What about 'em?!"

"Well, they made them into candles, sold them to the convent, and now all
the nuns are pregnant!"


-*-*-

Here are several of Vincent van Gogh's lesser-known relatives...
- The grandfather who moved to Yugoslavia ---> U. Gogh
- The brother who accidentally bleached all his clothes white---> Hue Gogh
- The real obnoxious brother---> Please Gogh
- The brother who ate prunes---> Gotta Gogh
- The uncle who worked at a convenience store---> Stop N. Gogh
- His dizzy aunt ---> Verti Gogh
- The cousin who moved to Illinois ---> Chica Gogh
- His magician uncle ---> Wherediddy  Gogh
- The cousin who lived in Mexico  ---> Amee Gogh
  and who also had a relative North of the Border ---> Grin Gogh
- The nephew that drove a stage coach ---> Wells Far Gogh
- The uncle who was constipated ---> Cant Gogh
- The aunt who loved ballroom dancing ---> Tan Gogh
- His ornithologist uncle ---> Flamin Gogh
- His nephew, the Freudian psychoanalyist ---> E. Gogh
- His cousin who loved tropical fruits ---> Mang Gogh
- And he had an aunt who taught the power of positive thinking-->Way Too Gogh
- His bouncy young nephew ---> Poe Gogh
- His Disco-loving sister ---> Go Gogh
- And his niece, who's been traveling the U.S. in a van --->Winnie Bay Gogh


-*-*-

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just
need to take it out on someone!!!  Don't take that bad day out on
someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
I found the number and dialled it.  A man answered nicely saying,
"Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to
Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't
believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct
number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits
incorrectly.

After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying
there on my desk. I decided to call it again.  When the same person
once more answered, I yelled "You're a tosser!" and hung up.  Next to
his phone number I wrote the word "tosser," and put it in my desk
drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad
day, I'd call him up.  He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a tosser!"
It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a
real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the tosser.
Then one day I had an idea. I dialled his number, then heard his voice,
"Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the
telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with
our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I
quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a tosser!"

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how
if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something
about it.  Just dial 0171 823-4863.

Keep reading, it gets better.!

An old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out of
the parking pace. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally,
her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the
slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.
Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.  All of a sudden this black
BMW come flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls
into her space.  I hit the horn and started yelling, "You can't do
that. I was here first!"

The guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me.  He walked
toward the shopping centre as if he didn't even hear me.  I thought to
myself, this guy's a tosser, there sure a lot of tossers in this world.
I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I
wrote down the number.  Then I hunted  for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just
gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a
tosser!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his  number on
speed dial.)

I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW lying on my
desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.  After a couple rings
someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man
with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I
can see it?" "Yes, I live at 182 West street, London. It's a yellow
house and the car's parked right out front." I said, "What's your
name?" "My name is Don Hansen." "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings." "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes," "Don, you're a tosser!" And I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialler. For a
while things seemed to be going better for me.  Now when I had a
problem I had two tossers to call.  Then, after several months of
calling the tossers and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable
as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up
with a solution:

First, I had my phone dial tosser #1.  A man answered nicely saying,
"Hello." I yelled "You're a tosser!", but I didn't hang up.  The tosser
said, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "Stop calling
me." I said, "No." He said, "What's your name, Pal?" I said, "Don
Hansen." He said "Where do you live?" "182 West Street, London. It's a
yellow house and my black BMW's parked out front." "I'm coming over
right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers." "Yeah, like
I'm really scared, tosser!" and I hung up.

Then I called tosser #2. He answered, "Hello." I said, "Hello, tosser!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" "I'll kick
your arse." "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now,
tosser!" And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at
182 West Street, London and that I was going to kill my gay lover as
soon as I got home.  Another quick call to the BBC about the gang war
going on down West Street.  After that I climbed into my car and headed
over to West Street to watch the whole thing.  Glorious!

Watching two tossers kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6
squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences
of my life!

[Name withheld to protect the guilty.]


-*-*-

LSD: virtual reality without the expensive hardware.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...

The best way to accelerate a Mac is at 9.8 m / sec^2

"#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) - Shakespeare."

"Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE"

If at first you don`t succeed, call it version 1.0

Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER

"The Soviet Union does not exist any more in its present format."
 CCCP:> format CCCP: /u

-*-*-

Computer Definitions

486:
The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.

State-of-the-art:
Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete:
Any computer you own.

Microsecond:
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

Syntax Error:
Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.

GUI (pronounced gooey):
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.

Computer Chip:
Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.

Keyboard:
The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse:
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy:
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Power User:
Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

*** Women's 45 rules for MEN ***

1. Call.

2. Don't lie.

3. Never tape any of her body parts together.

4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.

5. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."

6. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"

7. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.

8. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.

9. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.

10. "Honey," "Darling," and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag,"
"Lard*ss," and "B*tch" are bad.

11. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.

12. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.

13. None of your ex-girlfriends was ever nicer, prettier, or better
in bed.

14. Her cooking is excellent.

15. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.

16. Dish soap is your friend.

17. Hat does not equal shower, after-shave does not equal soap, and
warm does not equal clean.

18. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.

19. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never
going to end that conversation.

20. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"

21. Two words: clean socks.

22. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when
you're all sweaty.

23. Burping is not sexy.

24. You're wrong.

25. You're sorry.

26. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool
car than you think she is.

27. Ditto for your discourse on football.

28. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a
single bound.

29. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is
bad.

30. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.

31. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.

32. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she
feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change
without notice.

33. Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11pm.

34. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.

35. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.

36. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act
like a complete jerk until she does it for you.

37. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.

38. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.

39. Always, always suck up to her brother.

40. Think boxers. Silk boxers.

41. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so
names.

42. Don't try to change the way she dresses.

43. Her haircut is never bad.

44. Don't let your friends pick on her.

45. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The
fact that she has to go through labor while you sit on your butt in
the waiting room, smoking cigars, isn't fair either, and it balances
everything.

-*-*-

A horse race at Tydall Beach
Horses in race are:

1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Dick
9. Heavy Bosom
10. Merry Cherry

if any of u want the whole thing just ask me!

____________


Don`t be simple, be complx-

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Wesley
Wesley


Disgraceful
Famous Hero
banned
posted February 27, 2002 09:09 PM

Hmmm A very filthy joke.

There were 2 man arrested by the police both because of the use of drugs.

Then they are before the Judge. And the judge does a proposal to them.
IF they go out this weekend and make some people stop the drug then they are free to go.

Next monday:
The 2 males both are before the judge again. Then the judge asks them:
And how many people do you talked from drugs?
The first man said I talked 10 of drugs!
Judge:HOw did you do it?
Man 1: I just showed them 2 circles, One big and one small. And told them that the big circle is their brain before using drugs and the small one is their brain after using drug.
Judge:good very good.

Then the judge asks to the second arrested. And you jong man?
Man 2: I talked 1000 man off drugs.
Judge:That's amazing! How did you do it?
Man 2: I also showed them 2 circles, But I said this small circle is your snow before ending up in jail by drugs. and the big one is your ass after visiting jail by dealing drugs.
(sorry for the lack in good english it's a dutch joke)
HAHAHA very funny... NOT

____________

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | PP | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Echo
Lord_Echo


Famous Hero
Ranger of the good
posted February 27, 2002 09:13 PM

LOL whats the sencure? if i dont see the sencure the joke loose its meaning....
do u want the whole list of jokes? some of them is norwegians but just ignore them... i can send it to ur
e-mail
____________


Don`t be simple, be complx-

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Wesley
Wesley


Disgraceful
Famous Hero
banned
posted February 27, 2002 09:15 PM

What's a

Sencure?
____________

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | PP | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Echo
Lord_Echo


Famous Hero
Ranger of the good
posted February 28, 2002 02:52 PM

Quote:
Sencure?


maby its not too good english but its the ****`s like if i sai F U C K like this: snow its just start so what is the stars meaning?
____________


Don`t be simple, be complx-

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Wesley
Wesley


Disgraceful
Famous Hero
banned
posted February 28, 2002 04:02 PM

Ow..

It said
Ass but I putted hole before it.
____________

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | PP | Quote Reply | Link
Aerial
Aerial


Adventuring Hero
Creator of nightmares
posted February 28, 2002 04:23 PM

I think the word is cencur......
____________

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Echo
Lord_Echo


Famous Hero
Ranger of the good
posted February 28, 2002 04:37 PM

Yeah ariel i guess ur right! and Wesley u mean ass BEFORE hole right... snow not holeass lol!
____________


Don`t be simple, be complx-

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Jump To: « Prev Thread . . . Next Thread »
Post New Poll    Post New Topic    Post New Reply

Page compiled in 0.0982 seconds