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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Things to Ponder...
Thread: Things to Ponder...
EvilLoynis
EvilLoynis


Famous Hero
The Dark Shadow
posted February 08, 2012 12:00 AM
Edited by EvilLoynis at 00:00, 08 Feb 2012.

Things to Ponder...

Hope these give you a laugh


If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating and an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal infections?

Why did the kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
____________

"I am both selfish and instictive.  I value nature and the world around me as means to an end as well as an end in itself; at best I ... too long to display...

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Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted February 08, 2012 12:19 AM

Quote:
Why did the kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
So they don't get hurt before reaching their destination, duh.
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

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Smithey
Smithey


Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
posted February 08, 2012 12:24 AM

Quote:
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?


Nope, she usually yells at him really hard

Quote:
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


Nope, its a mass suicide, like with cults

Quote:
Is there another word for synonym?


Yes, in most languages though you should ask polyglot about them if you really want to hear them....

Quote:
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?


Nope, its only unnerving coz most of the doctors arent hot girls as seen in tv shows hence making the practice part not so fun

Quote:
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?


Yes, there is a big sign of "the middle finger"

Quote:
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?


There is no such thing as forest rangers, its a fairy tale, the question is where do forset trolls go to chill

Quote:
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?


There is, its called a mouse

Quote:
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating and an endangered plant?


I have a steak dinner with vegetables obviously

Quote:
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?


Thats way too complexed for my huge brain which is thinking about boobies ATM

Quote:
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?


Nope, it would be called a criple

Quote:
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?


No, they are afraid that someone would steal them

Quote:
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?


Only if it lands on a squirrel, but Blizz is way too stealthy for them bombers anyway

Quote:
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?


Its a she not a he and it's a single mom who is also a stripper, support the single moms or die

Quote:
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Because it never rains with detergent

Quote:
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?


Yes, because it has a happy face on a cracker

Quote:
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?


Nope, they have taser guns for a reason

Quote:
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?


Coz the driver has to pay attention to the road, always have a blind man with you when you're driving, basics in driving

Quote:
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?


Its a complexed method and it took them 43 years to teach them that, but its cool coz now they also use deers for strategical assassinations, who do you think got Bin laden ?

Quote:
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal infections?


Because they trick the murderer into thinking its just a routine blood donation

Quote:
Why did the kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


So the bloody indians wouldnt take their scalps

Quote:
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?


Nope, its an urban legend, clowns dont eat clowns coz most of canniblas are indeed clowns and then its like an incest (havent you watched IT?)
____________
She turned me into a newt!
A newt?
I got better

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Trogdor
Trogdor


Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
posted February 09, 2012 01:29 PM

Quote:
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?


Only if the doctor has been seen on the news for killing patients.

Quote:
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?


A little quote on the back of the sign saying 'Made in China'.

Quote:
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?


The city. Ironically it's called a 'treechange'.

Quote:
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?


Actually, the owners are waiting for pest control to come.

Quote:
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?


Yes, otherwise continue logging.

Quote:
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?


Both

Quote:
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?


Depends on the ingredients and the consumer's allergy records.
____________
"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu

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