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| Thread: HC RP Season 2 IC |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted May 21, 2012 06:32 PM |
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HC RP Season 2 IC
Geny woke up in his little home on the outskirts of the Volcanic Wastelands. He stretched his arms and went on to do all those things people always do in the morning, unless they are book characters. When he was finally done he walked up to the window and opened the curtains. The scorching light hit his eyes like a blade.
Geny sighed.
It was like this ever since the day of the Mad Mods. The Mods finally figured out that with Valery missing there's no one to stop them from doing what they want. Only they could never agree on what it is exactly that they want. Corribus spoke of complete control, OmegaDestroyer lusted for total destruction and MightyMage just wanted to run around the place and penalize anyone he sees until it stopped being funny... and to him it would never stop being funny. So they started an all out war with each other. No forum was spared as the Mods tried to assert dominance of their territory. The Glade turned into a swamp, Other Side froze over and the Wastelands... well, the VW was never a paradise to begin with, but compared to what it looked now, it might as well have been.
Geny wiped the sweat from his forehead. His air conditioner was working at full power, but it still wasn't enough nowadays. What was even worse is that the electricity bill sank its teeth deep into Geny's budget and would growl alarmingly whenever he tried to take it back.
Something had to be done!
Geny walked over to a big closet in the back of his home and opened it. It contained the story of his life. Everything he has accumulated throughout his HC adventures during the years. Now it was time for another one. He moved his fingers across the shiny surface of his armor. It was blue with orange adornment. Geny looked at the blue colors and was instantly reminded of Pandora. It was in his service as Pandora's liaison that he first put on this armor. He dreaded to think what he would do if he found out that she fell to this Mod Madness as well. He hoped it would not involve crying like a little girl.
After some time of preparations he was finally ready. He was wearing his blue and orange armor with a blue cape falling down beneath his knees. He had a small can of spam strapped to his belt from one side and a bag of peanuts, which he kept as a memento on the other. There was only one thing left to do. Only one piece of equipment still missing. He hoped he had it in him.
Geny stretched his right hand forward and concentrated. He hadn't done this for a while and it took some time. Finally, a small lump of spam materialized on his palm. He smiled, from here it was easy. the lump grew and grew, shaping itself in a form of a blade and then a guard until finally a handle flew out of his palm. Geny grabbed it and looked at his creation. The Spam Sword. The only piece of spam he stored within himself. Totally under his control, he could alter its density and even change its shape with his mind. He made a few experimental slices in the air and satisfied with the feel of the blade in his hand, withdrew the weapon back into his palm.
Geny put some sunscreen (more for psychological effect than anything else) and stepped out of the door...
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted May 21, 2012 11:21 PM |
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Mytical stirred. Something had changed, something had happened. Within his realm none the less. His wound hurt, and was great, so he had slumbered. It had to have been something important to wake him. He set off to find out what had happened.
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Message received.
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gnomes2169
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Duke of the Glade
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posted May 21, 2012 11:42 PM |
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Gnomes sat in his section of the swamp, reading what seemed to be a rather good book and sipping at some squirrel blood. Unfortunately he hadn't killed Blizz, again, but the little rascal was sure to be a victim at some point or another. Gnomes looked at his HCMs again and sighed when he found that only Keerah had sent him anything. He was about to sign off when suddenly the page refreshed and a message from Mytical appeared. He's alive!
Suddenly, Gnomes hopped from his seat and called out to his minions, "Men! Remove the traps, find me my plot devices and for the love of god, get me a bottle of port! I may be underage, but this is a special occasion!" Mytical was back, and he was going to visit his master's domain. It would be dangerous to get there with the Mad Mods and their spam wars, but he wouldn't go unprepared. Gnomes knew many paths in the RP world, and he knew how to manipulate the flows. One of his 2169 garden-statue minions brought him his twin rings, Plot Holes and Convenient Plot Device. With these he could stand against hordes of enemies, and his power was only limited by his imagination.
But even this would not be enough against the Mad Mods, as their powers were limited by the CoC and Glade Courtesy. So another gnome brought Gnomes his pokeballs and left, giving the Duke of the Glade his favored animal companions. And the last of the three minions brought Gnomes what seemed to be air, though it was obviously very fancy air because of the formality that went into the presentation. Gnomes's hand seemed to grasp the hilt of something, and he slid it into an invisible hilt on his back. this was his post prized possession, the LARPer's Sword. Its full powers were not yet known, but Gnomes had spent years recovering it and he intended to find out.
With all of this, the self-proclaimed Duke began to walk along the bride out of his house and cheerfully called back to his gnomish minions, "See yah around guys!" Then he turned back and began his glorious, perhaps final, adventure.
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Yeah in the 18th century, two inventions suggested a method of measurement. One won and the other stayed in America.
-Ghost destroying Fred
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted May 22, 2012 12:13 AM |
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Ivor was out hunting for something fresh and 'un-charred' on the borders of the Wasteland and the other-side when he spotted a couple of nymphs stridding about in the glade. Aroused and curious, Ivor happily abandoned the trail that he was following, and merily headed towards the glade.
The border guards were far more vigilant than before, and all manner of troublemakers were quickly snuffed up, luckily for Ivor his charm and demenour got him access without too much ado. Once he reached the lake that the nymphs were seen heading to, he found that the sky has darkened and lava began to flow in earnest; the trees also changed their shapes tenfold, till they finally became towering sky-scrapers and mausoleums (the corporate world is the first to come to mind when I think of the OSM)
"I must've taken a wrong turn" frowned Ivor
"A joint Wasteland and OSM incursion? Pfft is there no-place a man can sin in peace? No matter, the nymphs are far too frigid for my likin' anyway"- Said Ivor as he saw them turn into ice giants.
"Nevermind I'm sure the flower-sniffers will have this place restored in no time, hopefully in time for my drunken rant"
"To the tavern, for some ale and wenches!" yelled Ivor for his own amusement (and incase any lurkers are about)
"Though, let's hope this damn grab fest doesn't mess with my drinkin' routine" Said Ivor less than pleased.
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"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted May 22, 2012 09:19 PM |
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As Mytical walked through the realm, looking for the source of what woke him from his slumber, strange things happened. Lambs would hunt and devour wolves, water flowed upward, and thunder would come before lightning. "I will start in the tavern..a good enough place to start as any."
Mytical sets off toward the tavern.
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Message received.
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OmegaDestroyer
Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
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posted May 22, 2012 09:33 PM |
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OmegaDestroyer looked at the dreary cell before him. Containers and vials of various liquids sat half-empty and mostly ignored. Bone-white parchments hung sadly from the walls. Ancient machines bode their time in the corner. Obsolete tomes squatted in dilapidated shelves, content in their uselessness. A decrepit desk lazily plopped down in the middle of the room, jealous of the ornate device near the back wall. Black-framed and faintly glowing, the rectangular device was the only thing remotely interesting in the tiny room.
It was all that matter. It held knowledge. It held power.
Most importantly, it held promise.
OmegaDestroyer grabbed a stool in the room and sat before the device. With a few hand gestures, he activated and harnessed its bizarre energies. Within moments, he cast his gaze into the world, looking for something interesting to play with.
It was out there. He knew it.
He found it.
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The giant has awakened
You drink my blood and drown
Wrath and raving I will not stop
You'll never take me down
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gnomes2169
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Duke of the Glade
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posted May 23, 2012 01:47 AM |
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Gnomes stood looking out for anyone as he traveled to the Altar of Mytical in the Tavern. Constructed for the fallen Mod, it had been left untended long enough. Besides, if Gnomes got there he might be able to communicate with his master.
first though, our hero had to traverse the Wastelands and Other Games... two perilous domains to be sure.
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Yeah in the 18th century, two inventions suggested a method of measurement. One won and the other stayed in America.
-Ghost destroying Fred
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted May 23, 2012 08:28 PM |
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Geny traveled the Wastelands asserting the situation. It wasn't good. The heat was intense. There were piles of spam everywhere. Some of them were rather large and he could only hope that there wasn't some poor posters beneath them. As he was passing a rock outcrop two lurkers jumped out from both his sides. They screamed incoherently (probably in l33t speak) and threw some spam at Geny.
He didn't really dodge it, their attacks seemed to simply avoid him and hit his assailants instead. The Spam Lord smiled to himself. Noobs. He could take their spam off track anyway he wanted without even moving. But this sort of behavior was not normal, not before. The place has become wild. Geny approached one of the spammers who was trying to get the slime off of his face and touched the spam. Instantly it was under his control. It moved swiftly down the noob's face until it created a collar around his neck.
"Tell me, noob. Who is in charge of these lands? I haven't been following the latest news, you see."
"YOU PIECE OF ARRGGHH..."
The slimy spam on his neck suddenly became alarmingly solid and seemed to be shrinking.
"You were saying?"
"ELVIN! Elvin does with the Volcanic Wastelands whatever he likes! Anyone knows that!"
Geny's face darkened. He flung the noob into his friend who had just managed to stand up and left in a hurry. Thoughts whirled through his head. Angry thoughts. Sad thoughts. Elvin... Geny's first and only apprentice. He showed such great potential as a young spammer. He used to participate in the sacred three-way spamming dance, he joined Geny as his right hand man in the Peanut Planters' HQ... and then he became a mod. That should have a warning big enough, but Geny just couldn't believe his padawan and friend would turn over like that. But the dark side of spam must have planted its roots deep within the lad. And now it joined forces with Madness going on a wicked spamming spree, whatever the cost.
Geny stopped. There was no use trying to find Elvin. He was both skilled and talented even as a young spammer. And now strengthened by his Mod powers, he was too much even for his former teacher. Geny needed help. Preferably from another Mod. And the only Mod he would dare to trust under the circumstances was Pandora. Unfortunately, no one has seen her for years. The ModSquad HQ was the most obvious place to look at, but it was impossible to enter even in the normal times. Now it could be suicide to even come near it.
Geny sighed. He had to admit that he didn't know Pandora long enough to know all her favorite spots in HC. He needed a guide. Someone from the old days when HC was still innocent and pure. Someone who used to hang out with Pan. Someone who was still active... One name came to mind. Aculias. He wasn't exactly active, but he never left HC for too long and had known Pandora for a very long time. And if he was here, Geny knew just where to find him - in the Tavern district. He frequented several taverns over there and it was worth a shot to at least leave him a message there.
Finally coming to a decision, Geny turned around and walked towards the area known as the Tavern of the Rising Sun.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted May 23, 2012 11:27 PM |
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Mytical entered the Tavern..weary from this small travel, still trying to regain some of his strength, he ordered and sat. Looking around, he noticed that people looked upon him with either pity or fear..or both. A broken Mod, but all Mods are dangerous regardless. He tried to feel for any of his followers, but his powers were still too weak. He waited, knowing that they would come..and he would figure out what awoke him from his healing slumber.
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Message received.
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 24, 2012 12:34 AM |
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Somewhere in the cold dank blackness of the ancient hillside cavern, an eerie scraping rumble went unheard. Running water sparkled and trickled in swift rivulets, etching their endless channels deep into the black rockbed.
The cave went deeper and deeper. Twisting and turning corridors of rock tortured by years of erosion and decorated with antiquated webs and stalactites. An icy wind emanates from a huge cavernous room. Thin shafts of light burn weakly, casting their cathedral-like ethereal rays near the highly decorated stone sarcophagi, as the lid moved slowly. Taloned fingers appear, pushing the stone aside and something climbs out of the tomb into the blackness. A disturbing sound came from the darkness and then a thud. "Gosh darnit!!!!!", Meroe squeaks, "my damn toe. Where the hell is the light switch". Suddenly the cold cavern is illuminated and Meroe distorts her body from the shock of light. "Ugh ... toothbrush, quick". Cleaning her teeth, Meroe refuses to look at her reflection, she doesn't care about bedhead right now.
A few minutes later, sitting with her coffee, Meroe was able to start wondering why she was awake, "Its not winter already?", she wondered. Moving slowly, coffee mug in hand, Meroe threw back the chintz drapes and flinched again from the sudden assault of natural light .... then she heard it. A faint cry of despair. "Time to start trouble .. again", she smiled.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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gnomes2169
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Duke of the Glade
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posted May 24, 2012 02:03 AM |
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Gnomes snuck through the Other Games library, noting how silent everything was and how many empty booths there were. "Where is everyone?" The Duke muttered under his breath. It was as if the only people who had been here in the past months were Adrius and Doom... the latter of which was dangerous. His mod-powers had grown since the Madness had taken hold, though the frequenters of his domain had lessened. And he knew everything that happened in his domain. So Gnomes advanced carefully, sneaking between old, discarded threads and hoping that he had gone undetected so far...
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Yeah in the 18th century, two inventions suggested a method of measurement. One won and the other stayed in America.
-Ghost destroying Fred
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OmegaDestroyer
Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
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posted May 25, 2012 04:52 PM |
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Omega frowned.
The crone wasn't there. She never was when the Glade lands celebrated some holiday or another. Her absence annoyed OmegaDestroyer. The crone was the lord's assistant. She was in charge of organizing his schemes and interacting with the denizens of the land. She was responsible for keeping the filth away from Omega and had the authority to make people disappear. Admittedly, she was good at what she did and her absence was always felt.
Now Omega had to get his hands dirty; he had to personally deal with the public. He would make the crone suffer for her absence, just like he always did.
The dark lord rose from the stool and exited the room into an unremarkable hallway. Omega brooded. The public was generally a stupid creature, capable of astonishing feats of idiocy. Individually, they were not much better. They often begged their lord for a boon. Why, Omega knew not. He was a destroyer; no, THE destroyer. He destroyed. It's what he did. He was good at it. Yet, somehow, the peons believed he was capable of good. The thought depressed him.
"Fools" he muttered.
The hallway led to a great hall, where the crone usually dealt with the public. A simple desk and chair at the middle of the gigantic room. A black cordon stood before the desk, barring advancement. Twenty or so guards stood as ironclad sentries, brandishing sharp and fearsome weapons of all types. Strange creatures inhabited the upper recesses of the room, often plucking stragglers from the waiting masses to snack on or play with. Eerie white candles lit the room, casting bleach light upon the inhabitants.
The lord sat down and beckoned the first in a long line of serfs to approach. A tattooed woman with various piercings approached, stopping just short of the black cordon. She was a mess. Her hair was color-streaked and her dress skimpy; she looked like an inglorious prostitute. Omega frowned. He knew the question and answer before anything was said.
"I need help," the wretch said. No formalities, no bowing; just the question. That's how it always went. No respect for the lord.
"With what exactly?" Omega asked lazily.
"Like, with uh, you know, like, OK, so I was..." And so it began. Another sob story. Another pathetic tale of misfortune and foolish decisions. The young woman droned on, hoping that her sad story would illicit some emotion in the man before her.
He cut her off. He could not take it anymore.
"So let me get this straight," Omega began to lecture. "You want me to give you money?"
"Uh, yeah. Well, it would help me," she said timidly.
"You want me to give you money, when you do not work or do anything?" Omega could feel his ire rising.
"Well, I cannot work because I have three children to raise. Their father is dead and I have no money."
"Who was the father?" Omega already knew.
"Ernie Cheswitz." The woman gulped. She knew the lord would recognize the name.
"Ernie 'Dismemberer' Cheswitz? The man who killed 245 people with an icepick last sewing season? That is the man you copulated with? That is the man who's spawn you bore?!"
"Uh, yeah."
"So because you had children with a notorious murderer, who was executed, you cannot work, cannot support your children, look like a harlot, and now want me to shoulder your burden?" Azure eldritch energies began swirling throughout the room. The peons began trembling. The guards remained firm, having witnessed what was to come many times before.
"Y-y-yes," the girl said.
"I will help you and your children." Omega smiled. The energies faded.
"Y-you will? Thank you, my l-"
"HELP YOUR CHILDREN BECOME ORPHANS!"
The azure energies erupted around the woman and turned her to ash. The peons gasped and attempted to flee, but were restrained by the guards. A small creature with a broom and pan came out and began sweeping up the remains of the idiot woman. Omega grinned. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad he thought.
"NEXT!"
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The giant has awakened
You drink my blood and drown
Wrath and raving I will not stop
You'll never take me down
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Vindicator
Supreme Hero
Right Back Extraordinaire
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posted May 25, 2012 05:12 PM |
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Vindicator sighed tiredly, turning the pages in yet another dusty tome, falling apart by its bindings. His room was littered with scraps of paper and half-started projects, abandoned for some petty reason he could not remember. Sighing again, he stared dejectedly out of the window, towards the Glade. He lived in a small, secluded stone tower, rarely visited by and uninhabited. That was why his heart gave a jump as he saw someone passing by.
A gnome; no doubt one of the 2169 that followed around their leader, the self-proclaimed ruler of the Glade. Vindicator slowly strode down the spiral staircase to the doorway, where he looked out to watch the little fellow. He was clearly not heading for the tower; but if gnomes were walking around here, there was trouble in the land, as they did not normally leave their domains. Grabbing his dirty, moth-eaten but yet still working Cloak of Shadows, he opened the door and silently started after the gnome. Perhaps today something interesting would happen.
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 25, 2012 07:30 PM |
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The door swung open violently and crashed into the wall, ricocheting back and slamming closed on her face!!!! Gingerly and soberly, Meroe opened the door again and sheepishly stepped into the Glade, the imprint of her sunglasses giving away her mishap. However, there was no-one else around. She watched the tumbleweeds blow past, billowing dust in their wake. "Yo!", she called ..... "yo ....... yo ....... yo", came the faint echo.
She kicked the ancient and ailing coffee machine and poured herself a rather dubious looking coffee in a coffee mug that had the name MightyMage written in black marker on the side. She passed on the cream, sat down in one of the threadbare La-z-boy's and promptly fell asleep.
Her snoring woke her suddenly. "Gosh darnit, I'm going to have to go brave the Wastelands", she complained, shaking her head. Fastening her chastity belt and placing the industrial strength anti-squirrel mace spray into her purse she sashayed out of the door.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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gnomes2169
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Duke of the Glade
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posted May 26, 2012 01:29 AM |
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Gnomes escaped the fast zombies (And by Scott they really were fast) via the use of a discarded portal gun, a stolen car, blue sparks and his ring of plot holes. Apparently, it could literally create holes in the plot that one could walk through. Useful.
Trowing away the portal gun, Gnomes vowed to never again play Left 4 Dead and entered the wastelands. Hopefully, his carefully maintained disguise would make others see him as one of his harmless minions instead of the Duke that he was... and hopefully he had lost the man following him. Anyone could be an agent of the Mad Mods these days, and it was dangerous to be reported by them.
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Yeah in the 18th century, two inventions suggested a method of measurement. One won and the other stayed in America.
-Ghost destroying Fred
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted May 26, 2012 03:33 PM |
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'Twas already dusk by the time Ivor reached the tavern of the rising sun, he was famished and above all else thirsty for both mead and news. Upon a closer inspection he noticed that refugeee camps have sprung up all around the countryside all huddling around the Tavern itself. With a short pause Ivor persued his initial plan (though with so many refugees, food, bed, and mead will be in short supply, atleast his thirst for news will be sated with ease with so many 'colourful' peeps flocking around him)
As Ivor entered the large wooden doors of the tavern, he felt a certain promiscuity in the air, this too he brushed off as he began wading through the refugees that have been strewn across the room. After what seemed like an eternity, Ivor finally reached the barkeep, and immediately inquired as to the location of his guide and news in the other realms.
"I'm looking for Nicole, I was told that she knows the glade like the back of her hand, and will be well informed of the incrsions into that land"
-"Ho stranger, this woman is unbeknownst to me, if you seek room and accomodation then I suggest you look elsewhere"
"Hang on, I've heard Nicky is one of the most famous heroes of the Glade, surely you've heard of her"
-"Nicky eh? I don't suppose you mean Nicky the half-wit gnome of the Bard's Glade."
"Can't be picky with glade lasses, especially in these dark times, she'll do. Where can I find her?"
-"I don't know his current whereabouts lad, you could take it up with one of them damned mods, Mytical is one of the more benevolent ones, ergo far more likely to lend aid to your cause"
"I'm sorry, did you say he?!?"
-"Aye, your guide, he is a man, though half in both size and mind's resource, he knows the glade like no other"
"Thanks, I guess it saved me from a nasty surprise later, anyhow some of your mead and a table to sleep on would be just fine"
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"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 26, 2012 04:21 PM |
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Tired from her long trudge, Meroe was close to the Wastelands. She knew this from the pungent smell that had assaulted her nostrils several miles back. Damn she was downwind.
Meroe decided to make camp a few miles from the Wastelands, mainly because she didn't want to venture there alone and was hopeful that some other half crazed idiot had the same idea. Taking a sip from her hip flask, and watching the sunset, Meroe became aware of a strange aura coming from the west ...... a strange glowing, pulsing aura. "Sod the Wastelands, I'm gonna partayyyy". She was up with renewed vigor and skipping her way towards the Tavern.
Her naive happiness turned quickly to consternation walking through the throngs of aimless folk, some sleeping on the ground, others camped morosely around pathetic looking camp fires, the occasional bout of manic laughter quickly followed by mournful wailing, punctuating the droning buzz of voices. "Nothings changed then", she thought and made her way through the ale stained doors of the Tavern. Stepping over the prone (and hopefully not deceased) bodies, she reached the bar.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Vindicator
Supreme Hero
Right Back Extraordinaire
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posted May 26, 2012 04:29 PM |
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The Wastelands; definitely not his favorite place to be. Although the gnome had lost him (and left him to the zombies) Vindicator was pretty sure this was where he was heading. Covered in grime and scratched up by the zombies, Vindicator stood on top of a slight rise in the ground, staring out at the Wastelands. He never liked heat, and here it was scorching, but he knew that taking of his cloak meant death. Something did feel different, something... but what? Perhaps the people in the Tavern would know; they always did. "I really don't like the heat", he thought, making his way through the Wastelands, towards the Tavern.
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gnomes2169
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Duke of the Glade
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posted May 26, 2012 05:19 PM |
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Gnomes ran out of the wastelands, bits of spam flying everywhere behind him as a group of wild trolls hunted after the Duke. "Snow, snow, snow, snow!" And then Gnomes remembered that he was from Minnesota. Turning around, gnomes cried out, "SNOW!" A blizzard appeared, burying the trolls in a matter of seconds, trapping them in their spam. A gruesome fate, but they had been asking for it. Gnomes dropped his illusion, it would not be of any help in the wastelands apparently, and spotted a small camp far away from his current position. He shrugged, trudging over to the camp. Maybe they would be willing to take him in for the night.
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Yeah in the 18th century, two inventions suggested a method of measurement. One won and the other stayed in America.
-Ghost destroying Fred
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted June 02, 2012 09:56 AM |
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Geny walked through the Tavern district. It was full of refugee camps. Ironically enough, it was a good sign. The fact that refugees chose to seek shelter in here, showed that this place isn't as far gone as the rest of HC. By asking around a bit Geny learned that the leading power in this district was Shyranis. Even though she came to HC several years ago, Geny didn't really know here. To him she was one of the younger ones, albeit not a total newbie. He remembered that she'd been rumored to be a sorceress. Maybe her knowledge of mystic powers protected her from the Madness. Then again she was also a woman, so maybe the Madness manifested itself in her in a more cunning and dangerous way. Whatever the case may be, Geny couldn't risk trusting her. He had to find Pandora.
Geny walked past the main entrance to the Tavern and turned around the corner to a small place of member owned taverns. There they stood in all their forgotten glory.
The oldest one had a big sign on it "Tossers tavern - free for all tossers !!!". The angle of the sign suggested that it really wants to end it all and fall down, but doesn't have the courage. Geny looked at the building in admiration. It was waaaaay before his time. They say that the only reason it still stands is because the ghost of Sir_Stiven is still roaming the place, tossing the hell out of anyone who would try to demolish it.
He looked at the next building. This one said "Old Salty's Fish n' Chips (Underage Kiddies Welcome)". Geny smiled. He remembered it being all the rage when he just arrived to HC. It was a jolly place where MightyMage provided employment for HCers in the times of the Great Depression, right after HC nearly had to sell out to McDonalds. Now its doors were closed shut as well.
Then there was the Partatious Tavern. One of Aculias' places. Geny spent much of his time here, drinking boobins with Acu and Pandora. This was the tavern of his era... and now it was as dark as the first two. Geny came closer and looked through the windows, but there was no sign of life inside.
The Spam Lord sighed and was about to walk away when another structure caught his eye. It was in a relatively good condition. The sign above its door said "Starlite Tavern! For the ages!". Geny nearly forgot about that one. Aculias opened this one with his lady when Geny was mostly away in the treacherous lands of Real Life. He came for a visit once or twice to exchange a drink with the owners and the original DS, but never stayed for long. What caught his attention was the light that came from inside. This place wasn't dead!
Geny came in slowly. The lights were on, but the place was empty. The only other man inside was the bartender who busy cleaning the glasses as bartenders should.
"Are you open?", Geny asked uncertainly.
"We are if there are customers to serve."
"And are there?"
"Not as such, no. But you could do, I guess."
"Thanks a bunch...", said Geny as he sat down at the counter. "I don't remember what this place is serving so just give me something with a pink umbrella in it. All Acu's establishments have those."
"Yeah, it's the first thing he made me learn when I applied." replied the bartender as he put the drink in front of his customer. "I was a bit surprised, but it still beats wearing a pink thong like the waiters had to."
"Sounds like Acu's place indeed... so where is Acu anyway?"
"Beats me. Haven't been here in ages."
"I see... and here I thought that the lights meant that the owner is back."
"Oh no, the lights are on because we had another customer not too long ago. Well, maybe not a customer, but someone did peep in and asked something about good 'mixes'. Namus only knows what that meant."
"Really? And who was that?"
"Some blond guy. I think he called himself Ivor."
"Tsar-Ivor? What that newbie was doing in here?... Well, it doesn't matter. If you see Acu again, please tell him that I was looking for him. It's important. I'm off now."
"What do you mean I'm off now? You still have to pay for your drink!"
"Just put it on my tab."
"You tab?! Your tab says that you owe this place more than its worth as it is!"
"Then what's one more drink? I'm good friends with the owner after all."
"The owner isn't here. Which means that he doesn't pay my salary. Which means that you will!"
"Now look here, chum. Do you know who you're talking to? I am Geny the Spam Lord! I am the one and only liaison of the Blue Lady Pandora and do you know what happened to the last bartender who dared to give her lip? He was sent to the Newcomer's Inn!"
"Go ahead then. Send me there. With all this ruckus the Inn is one of the more profitable places around now. At least the newbies don't know how bad it is here."
"Oh... well in that case, I guess I better..."
Geny stopped a couple of blocks away trying to catch his breath. He tried to remember why he thought it would be a good idea to put on his armor in the morning and couldn't. It was a good thing that that shotgun was rusty or he might not have made it to the door. Anyway, he failed to find Aculias. The chances were slim to begin with. He thought about what he should do next. The answer was obvious. Get drunk. And hope the next bartender won't be as heavily armed. He gathered his breath and walked into the main Tavern.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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