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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 27, 2013 12:31 PM |
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If you mean Mr. Boggis, the President of the Thieves' Guild, he won't come out to talk to just anyone.
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master_learn
Legendary Hero
walking to the library
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posted September 27, 2013 12:35 PM |
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"We are from the Watch.Could we ask a few questions to appointed by him member of the guild then?"
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"I heard the latest HD version disables playing Heroes. Please reconsider."-Salamandre
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 27, 2013 12:38 PM |
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"No one here wants to talk to coppers!"
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master_learn
Legendary Hero
walking to the library
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posted September 27, 2013 12:44 PM |
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"We have valuable information about an illegal theft.If you don't want to hear it,we may just leave."
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"I heard the latest HD version disables playing Heroes. Please reconsider."-Salamandre
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 27, 2013 01:00 PM |
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Edited by Geny at 13:27, 27 Sep 2013.
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The eyes on the other side of the hatch flashed with anger.
"Illegal theft, you say? Wait here."
The hatch closed and there were footsteps on the other side of the door.
"Not bad." Angua said conversationally while the two waited. "You volunteers might be useful after all."
"Will it really be ok if I told them everything?" asked Brian, "I'm new to this inquires business."
"There are no clear rules about it. Carrot, for instance, always tells the truth. I don't think he's capable of anything else. Vimes tends to take a more cunning approach, of course. Detritus just shouts until they confess about whatever he needs. And myself, I have a... good influence on people. They tend to tell me a lot. Point is, as long as you think you can get useful information out of them, do what you want."
At that moment they heard more footsteps. The door opened. On the other side of them were four men. One, presumably the one who talked earlier, was holding the door. The other three were all big men with nasty looking clubs. One of them motioned the Watchmen to enter.
"Alright, we're going to take you to Mr. Boggis and if he doesn't like what...", his eyes wandered from Brian to Angua who was already inside the building. The thief's face went pale and he took a step back. "I-I-I mean, we'll escort you to the President and I'm sure he'll be happy to hear whatever it is you want to say to him..."
The trio lead the Watchmen through the Guild, trying to keep their distance from Angua. Eventually, they were brought into an office where a well-off looking man sat behind a table. Once inside the thieves moved behind the two guests, but despite their big clubs they failed to look looming or menacing. The fact that one of them shook like a leaf did not improve matters.
"Yes?" said the man behind the table, "what did you want to talk to me about?"
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted September 28, 2013 12:47 AM |
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"Interesting!" Though whether he was talking about the zombie's statement or the albino housefly that had just taken off along with the finger was unclear...until he shook himself a little, and it was obvious he'd been talking about the fly. "Can you account for the close proximity between your current geographical location and that of this?" Ana held up the piece of leather.
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 28, 2013 10:26 AM |
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The zombie tried to concentrate on Anatolios' words. It was clear that he was having problems with it.
"Can I count what? His gaze moved from Anatolios' face to the piece of leather. That? It's one!.. It is one, isn't it?
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted September 28, 2013 03:17 PM |
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Anatolios sighed, disappointed, but he supposed not everyone in Ankh-Morpork could be as well-spoken as the Librarian. "Why were you close to this?" he said more slowly and carefully, and waved the leather around. "Do you know?"
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 28, 2013 03:27 PM |
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"How should I know? the zombie answered, his confusion changing into anger, I don't even what that is! I'm not even sure what I am! Here I was, strolling peacefully on the street, minding my own business, then BAM! it's morning and I'm a zombie! I don't know nothing about being a zombie! My father never taught me that! And you want to know why I was near some piece of leather?!
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted September 28, 2013 03:46 PM |
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"Fascinating," Anatolios responded, intrigued now. "Do you mean to say you cannot accountthat is, you have no idea where you were last night?" Anatolios went to make a note only to realize his hands were full of leather. After a moment of thought he shoved the preserved skin sample into Trutha's hands and pulled out notes and writing utensil again.
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The_Polyglot
Promising
Supreme Hero
Nuttier than squirrel poo
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posted September 28, 2013 03:56 PM |
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"Yes, I ham Mrs. Whitlow. Who are you hwhat do you want?
'Morning Ma'am, I'm Bilious, the Oh-God of... of finding things for Librarians, at the moment. I have had the chance of visiting your esteemed domain before, on various occasions, and I gathered that You are the supreme authority as far as wizards and their things are concerned*. Well, one of their things has recently gone missing. A book, a library book. Have you any idea who might have took it?'
*Prayers addressed to Bilious from the general vicinity of the University had a somewhat surprising refrain: 'Oh god oh god oh god, just don't let Mrs. Whitlow find out, please!'
((Typing like a drunk is hard as hell))
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Sanity through drugs. Order yours today!
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 28, 2013 04:48 PM |
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@Ana
The zombie scratched his head, peeling off some of his skin in the process.
"I was somewhere around 'ere. At first... then... I think someone came up behind me. I remember thinking it could be a mugger, but I already got mugged last week. Even got a receipt. So I didn't worry. And then... and then... I don't know. I opened my eyes when the sky was up. And now I look like my granddad. And we buried him 10 years ago.
@Bilious
"I'm sure I don't know hwhere their book are. Ai take care of heverything else here. Hand I surely am not going to help that hape... you! Stop right there! She pointed her finger at the Librarian who knuckled through the door. Don't come in now! Ai don't want hape hair all over my food hagain!
"Ooook.
"Mendy! Give him a bunch of bananas so he can be on his hway.
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted September 28, 2013 07:51 PM |
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Anatolios eyed the zombie as though seriously considering dragging him off to a lab for study...and then remembered that his lab was back in Ephebe, and he was down an atheist. "I see! Can you recall where exactly you were before you suffered your lapse of memory?" Ana scratched behind his ear with his writing implement again. "And what exactly were you doing?"
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 30, 2013 08:27 PM |
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"What's it to you what I was doing?" Snarled the zombie, his mood pendulum swinging the other way again, "I was walking around these streets, minding my own business. You'd better do the same."
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War-overlord
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Presidente of Isla del Tropico
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posted September 30, 2013 09:18 PM |
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"I'd like some coffee, if you have some. Thank you." Wolfram answered.
"I'm Wolfram by the way, lending the Watch a hand so they will lift the citywide embargo."
Wolfram took out a notepad and a writing implement.
"Now as for the questions, Who, to your knowledge, has acces to the Necrotellicomnicon? And what exactly does it do? I ask because it realy helps to know what your looking for and the Librarians explaination was very curt and involved improbable ammounts of bananas."
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 01, 2013 01:55 AM |
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Wait a minute, Ana realized, that big fellow had said he was part of the local law enforcement now. (Anatolios was just a little foggy on what criteria the man had used for his basis of decision, but as Ana was foggy on many things, including basic social graces and optimum wardrobe while traveling, this did not much bother him.) He could use their headquarters for a lab!
"Hmm, yes," he finished the thought aloud, absentmindedly tilting his headgear (shifting his magnified vision and unintentionally causing the Watch badge pinned thereon to flash). "Yes, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me to the local law enforcement headquarters."
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 01, 2013 09:11 PM |
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Edited by Geny at 21:12, 01 Oct 2013.
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@Wolfram
Ridcully raised his eyebrow.
"Coffee? Really? I was thinking about something stronger. Oh well... What about you, Captain?
"I'm fine, thank you, sir. Am not allowed to drink alcoholic beverages on duty anyway, sir.
"Fine, fine. Bursar!... Where is that man? BURSAR!
There was a crash from a nearby room and a visibly shaking wizard came through the door.
"Y-yes, Archchancellor?
"There you are, Bursar. You don't look so well for some reason. Have you taken your dried frog pills this morning? Anyway, bring this gentleman a cup of coffee.
"Yes, Archchancellor.
The Bursar went away.
"AND TELL THE DEAN TO COME HERE! shouted the Archchancellor. There was another crash in the corridor. Right then. The Necrotellicomnicon. Frightful book that. One of our finest, I think. It was kept in one of those special chambers. The Librarian has the keys to them. I don't think anyone else does. No one in their right mind would go there anyway.
At this time another wizard entered the room. He was a prime example of what a lifetime of Unseen University dinners could do to a man. He wasn't so much fat as portly. That is to say, he could take up the space of a small port all by himself.
"Ah, Dean, good the Archchancellor nodded towards him, These gentlemen from the Watch are helping us retrieve the stolen Necrotellicomnicon.
"What do you mean stolen?! The Dean's face was a mask of horror.
"Stolen. As in taken without permission.
"And you didn't tell us?! This is no laughing business, Mustrum. The faculty should know about these sort of things.
"I don't see why I have to notify you about everything. It was a perfectly ordinary theft, so the Watch are more than capable to handle that on their own.
"But that's the Necrotellicomnicon! Do you even know what it can do?
"We were actually wondering about that. Could you explain it to us? asked Carrot, trying to return the conversation to its coarse.
"Oh, I'll explain alright. The Necrotellicomnicon is a link to the world of the dead. It has information about every dead being. It is even believed that you can summon the dead with it!
"What, like, to raise an immortal army and march it through the world sort of thing? asked Ridcully.
"Immortal maybe, raise not so much. The dead usually prefer a more horizontal position. And marching is definitely out of question. They tend to be stationary. In fact, they're dead serious about their position.
"Oh... so that's not so bad then...
"Not so bad? Need I remind you that any of our strongest magical books can do terrible things to a man just by being close to him? Since this one is linked to the world of the dead the effects will probably be linked to it as well.
"What, like killing him?
"No, like killing him while he is still alive. The book would probably turn anyone who touches it into an undead.
@Anatolios
The zombie squinted at the flashing badge.
"I ain't done nothing. I got no business in the Watch House. You can't just take me like that. I got rights!
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War-overlord
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Presidente of Isla del Tropico
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posted October 01, 2013 09:40 PM |
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Now where getting somewhere, Wolfram thought, jotting down usefull information. And no bananas.
"That is very usefull information, very much so." Wolfram said. "The turning into undead by touching the book. Is that...preventable? By, for instance, wearing gloves? And what sort of undead are we talking about? Zombies? Vampires? Igors? Though I was never quite sure wether they are technically undead or not. But knowing what kind would narrow our search quite a bit. And does the book have any other uses, other than turning the wielder into an undead of yet unknown description and looking up your dead relatives?"
Wolfram was enjoying this questioning people quite a lot.
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 01, 2013 09:51 PM |
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"Magic can't be stopped by mere gloves!" The Dean looked offended for a moment, then he scratched his head uncertainly. "Although, I suppose, a certain number of protective layers could delay the effects. I'm not certain about the specifics of the Necrotellicomnicon's uses. See, to understand exactly what it can do you have to read it. And no one's been daft anyone to come anywhere near it... until recently. If I had to guess, though, I'd say that it would turn people into zombies as this is closer to their regular state. After all it isn't a spell we're talking about here, but a simple magic leakage... that could drown anyone near it."
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War-overlord
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Presidente of Isla del Tropico
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posted October 01, 2013 10:03 PM |
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"Hmmm....Yes.....Drowning, you say...."Wolfram muttered as he noted more usefull information.
He turned towards Carrot. "Do we have any way of contacting our colleagues? Cause we should notify them of this immediately, so they can go round up suspicious looking zombies and other undeads for questioning. Especially ones wearing thick gloves and such."
Then a thought struck Wolfram. He turned to the Dean.
"Hold on! If nobody ever goes near the book. How do we know of it's effects?"
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