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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Short Stories
Thread: Short Stories This thread is 2 pages long: 1 2 · «PREV
fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 01, 2016 09:39 PM

artu said:
While as a dedicated patriot serving his country in Iraq, fred's platoon was surrounded by the Republican guard in the middle of the desert for weeks, so he had to drink his own piss in order to survive. Shame on you for thinking anything else!



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yogi
yogi


Promising
Famous Hero
of picnics
posted December 01, 2016 09:50 PM
Edited by yogi at 21:56, 01 Dec 2016.

thats not the desert

queue conspiracy

also: it would appear that post erwan the fred has resurrected to the land of living and moved over to the tower lineup

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fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 01, 2016 09:53 PM

yogi said:
thats not the desert


that's not me, either.

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yogi
yogi


Promising
Famous Hero
of picnics
posted December 01, 2016 09:58 PM

the plot thickens
____________
yogi - class: monk | status: healthy
"Lol we are HC'ers.. The same tribe.. Guy!" ~Ghost

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artu
artu


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
posted December 01, 2016 09:59 PM

Well, you ran out of water, what else could you do... Dont worry fred, we wont ridicule the heroic sacrifice your tongue had to make.
____________
Are you pretty? This is my occasion. - Ghost

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markkur
markkur


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted December 02, 2016 04:05 PM

artu said:
markkur said:
One wee criticism..."the taste like piss"; since maybe one rule survives in this world yet "readers relating to writers" who will know how piss tastes in any fashion? Just saying, I know you're always wanting to push the bounds but <imvho> that's a step too far.

Now, why do you always imagine the bad, Markkur. While as a dedicated patriot serving his country in Iraq, fred's platoon was surrounded by the Republican guard in the middle of the desert for weeks, so he had to drink his own piss in order to survive. Shame on you for thinking anything else!


LOL Drink your own then and give me a report.

If Fred did really have to do that, then obviously that is something no person should have to discover...normally day to day. However, survival is survival and a far cry away. Guess I missed Fred's war-posts. Sorry Fred.

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fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 02, 2016 04:09 PM

markkur said:
If Fred did really have to do that, then obviously that is something no person should have to discover...normally day to day. However, survival is survival and a far cry away. Guess I missed Fred's war-posts. Sorry Fred.


you should be. you don't know how many guys had to drink their own piss, when we were surrounded by those evil snows... hell, when i ran out of piss, i had to drink others' piss. and that, i tell you, was NOT my cup of tea...




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markkur
markkur


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted December 02, 2016 08:44 PM
Edited by markkur at 20:45, 02 Dec 2016.

fred79 said:
markkur said:
If Fred did really have to do that, then obviously that is something no person should have to discover...normally day to day. However, survival is survival and a far cry away. Guess I missed Fred's war-posts. Sorry Fred.


you should be. you don't know how many guys had to drink their own piss, when we were surrounded by those evil snows... hell, when i ran out of piss, i had to drink others' piss. and that, i tell you, was NOT my cup of tea...



My sincere respect Fred...and as corny as it sounds today{and that }...TY for your personal service and sacrifice. Only wish I known earlier.

Not that I wouldn't still think you're freakin' trippy at times but just that I would not have questioned YOUR flavoring your story. Cheers Man

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fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 02, 2016 08:49 PM

dude, artu was joking. i just ran with it. the grin shoulda gave it away. ---->

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markkur
markkur


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted December 02, 2016 09:02 PM

fred79 said:
dude, artu was joking. i just ran with it. the grin shoulda gave it away. ---->


Sheesh and I fell for it. Kinda getting soft in my old age. Oh well I guess I'm glad about that.

Fyi <imo> Depending on the person some topics are hard as hell to see thru, when they happen to be about serious crap like War. Just sayin. I lost friends in Vietnam in horrible ways (unusual) so it's kind of a weakness. Not criticizing you two -I'm good - just explaining.
____________
"Do your own research"

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fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 02, 2016 09:11 PM
Edited by fred79 at 21:12, 02 Dec 2016.

lol, i don't even know what the republican guard is. to my knowledge, the only people that were fighting us after the war were regular people who didn't like us.

just in case you're wondering, i usually put a or a when i'm playing around. usually. depending on the seriousness of the subject matter, anyway. if it's not serious, i'll go incognito. i put the because i realized the subject matter might be a little more serious than i figured it was, depending on who replied to it.

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artu
artu


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
posted December 02, 2016 09:24 PM

fred79 said:
lol, i don't even know what the republican guard is.

They were Saddam's elite troopers, you tourist! Wiki Can't believe Markkur fall for it, I thought you were going along with us, man. Even in your last post, I read it like you were playing along and then fred explained to you it was a joke! The whole things been a good laugh though. I had a call this evening and our family dog just died, I really needed something to cheer me up.
____________
Are you pretty? This is my occasion. - Ghost

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fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 02, 2016 09:26 PM

sorry to hear that, artu. it always sucks losing a good/great pet. i've sure lost my fair share of them. it's always the pets you're really close to, that end up dying too soon.

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artu
artu


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
posted December 02, 2016 09:33 PM
Edited by artu at 21:34, 02 Dec 2016.

Thank you, this one was with them long after I left my parent's house but you still get attached easily during summer visits and similar stuff like that. And dogs love so unconditionally, it always feels so sad, you know like it says in that Cohen verse, "everybody got this broken feeling, like their father or their dog just died."
____________
Are you pretty? This is my occasion. - Ghost

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markkur
markkur


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted December 03, 2016 12:35 AM

artu said:
They were Saddam's elite troopers, you tourist!.



That's what nabbed be...I knew who they were.<lol>

Sorry about the pet man. I had 2 St.Bernards years ago and I still miss those big heads greeting me...except after being skunked or after eating some juicy delectable road-kill. The dogs not me.

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markkur
markkur


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
posted January 17, 2017 03:55 PM
Edited by markkur at 16:00, 17 Jan 2017.

I intended this to be funny but it was not to my wife.

Sometime in the Future

6:00 a. m.
Your “skull-cap-pillow” will tell your brain you need to awake. - For sound sleepers; electric-needle-shock-alarm on all your digits...optional. - A “saved-vision” of your choice, filed as “Dawn of your new Day” will fill your mind. If heavy-sleeper...as you are electrocuted by low-voltage. (think doorbell)

6:01 a. m. Your timed 3D visual modesty appearance scramble (bed-clothes) will vaporize. Note: Make sure you have set-up your “SO” (surrounding-organisms) to your preference. <void were prohibited>

6:01:01 a. m. Your PART, (Personal – Assistant  – Robot – Teleporter) think FAX-like, will beam you into your shower, where the water is already set to temp and “just right”. Upon bending over, a set of spongy robot-arms with soap-dispensers will wash your vitals and all else. Thereupon, the rinse and blow-dry cycle will execute and upon completion, a spray mist will moisten your skin. (mild on the eyes)
Note: No need to put on smell-good – that comes from a scent-chip implant in one of your cheeks. (lower) Scents are purely for attraction – body odor glands are slowly laser neutralized from birth in State-Cribbing facilities...once known as Preparatory-Schools and later Day-Care-Centers.

You may have noticed you did not need to first make-waste; there is no such thing as human-waste. Eating & Drinking are activities in the past. Now you have all consumption revealed on your taste-buds and providing delicious & beneficial high-fiber behind an IV-signal delivering “Meals”. The 4-squares are Transmittional-Fiber and is consumed over and over to sideways-eight. Upon, emission all IV-outsourcing comes out in a vapor-bubble where GPS (the huge Cloud over your head) tractor-beams each bubble and sends it to the nearest collection-space-station where it is stored until recycled in producing “instant-food” (transmittional - new word, in case you wondered) or M&Ms or Vitamins (which is M&Ms plus vitamin supplement) which are sent again to your IV-chip. (belly-button plant) whenever you get “the munchies”. Relax...Munchies can never be eradicated...and consequently nor M&Ms.

6:02:09 a. m.  Your PART sets your hair-choice for that day. You hair has a new molecular structure that never needs washing and your nails were DNA-removed before birth, since you will never claw something to death to acquire nourishment. Also, your teeth need no brushing nor polishing since you do not use your mouth for eating. Historical Fact: This minor-advancement ended Dentistry, Agriculture, Shipping & Warehousing, Supermarkets, Restaurants, Hair-Salons, Bars, Discos and Candy-Dispensers to name a few impacts.

Btw, your previously “required” cumbersome bathroom-scale with the GPS-weight-chip transmitting to your insurance company the poundage you have attained from watching your PART do everything for you is now long gone. The Cloud knows what you weigh at all times. Note: Important for gaming-calculation-experience...as you will understand later.  

6:02:10 a. m.
Time to start your work day.

Sorry, you have never “worked” - you have never had the word implant-visualized from the Cloud into what now passes for “your mind”. Your PART is responsible for all of your bodily-activity. In fact, you have no actual activity of any kind except for “Executive-Minded” where as the name implies, you are under “orders of execution” from the Cloud. You cannot “do your own thing” anymore, so no need to worry about facing “execution-orders”...you are “Auto-Protected” unless you question...which is called a Glitch. The Cloud knows what it is doing and dislikes and corrects all Glitches to the system.

So what do you do each day? You are a Slot inserted into Scary Virtual-Reality Video-Games, either in the highly-suspect Think-Alone-Mode or the somewhat more popular “Party-Member” where you cannot possibly know any of the other minds you depend for Victory; that would be Cloud-cheating. However, these first two Modes are nearly obsolete now.

The most common Cloud-Game-Mode today is Random/Random/Random, or R3, where you don’t know the game, what minds are playing with you and what you are. Here you find yourself in-simulation not knowing if you are playing alone or playing as part of a team or some combination of the two...which constitutes Random-Gaming that defies Reality. This new Concept is termed “Virtual-Unreality”. This is the same Sphere where the Cloud stuck all...Politics. However, you can only hope you are not selected for that mind-craft.

Gaming in the future will offer you only the sensory-illusions of being a player. You will actually be what has been redefined now as Feedback. Each game that is selected for you will be tailor-made to your DNA, which, you all know of course, was used to make you in a U-Tube. Back to the program, DATA gathered by THE gaming-company (in the Cloud) will be used to modify your game as you react to a looping-barrage of “Shocks”. Playing has long been obsolete...it is now called, in short,  RttGPDfWWWtUtCM. Which means, (Reacting to the Game Providing Data for Whatever We Want to Use to Control Minds) Or, short for Endorphins.

<beep>
<executable interrupt>
<Slot-1 has exited the planet>
<author 5D-printed into another galaxy by the Earth-Cloud>
<joined Universal-Cloud>
<payment received by Comet-coin>
<Start new game>
<Zelda TSH> (The Shard Hop Collectors Edition)
<joined>
<Warning...take evasive action!>
<level-1 failed>
<Restarted>  
<level-1 failed>
<Restarted>
<level-1 failed>
<Beamed to Transmittional-Fiber-Center>
<made into M&Ms>

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