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| Thread: Battle of the sexes! |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Sir_Elric
Responsible
Famous Hero
Having a bad hair day.
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posted April 10, 2003 10:34 AM |
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*Elric watches from the shadows with an anxious look on his heavily stubbled face*
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Neverwinter Nights - "City of Melnibone"
Direct connect - ausnwn2.dyndns.org:5121
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allu
Known Hero
the supreme heroe
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posted April 10, 2003 09:50 PM |
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peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted April 10, 2003 10:38 PM |
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*peeks back into the grand room, peers back and forth making sure no one is looking, then sneaks across the floor quietly to pluck Gootch's cape from the coatrack, trying it on and admiring herself in the freestanding full-length mirror*
<SMELLS THE CAPE>
<STRUTS>
<MOONWALKS>
(Exaggerates a gootchy male voice
"MIGHTY IS MY STRATEGY GENE!" (giggles)
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted April 17, 2003 09:13 PM |
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Our hero finally makes it back to regard his next antagonist
Quote:
(I certainly hope not...)
*Peacemaker brushes the dust from her armour, gets up and goes in the other direction to make dinner*
Just call me "armourknees."
"Did you just say 'on her knees'? Cause, I swear I distinctly heard that."
<Approaches Peacemaker with a smile on his face that says he knows something she doesn't>
"Look, you little injun tart. You must watch too many movies...cause, it ain't funny when you smack a dude in his nads. Why don't you be a good girl and go make Chief Gootch a succotash pot pie?"
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted April 18, 2003 04:18 AM |
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(.....'INJUN TART'?!?!?! )
*Peacemaker's fists clench. Her teeth begin nashing. A clearly discernible, angry red glow illuminates the inside of her armour, sending tiny beams of light streaming through the crevices of her facemask... *
<Seething....>
(Gaughd the Tragedy of it -- the chaos -- the rage -- the AGONY -- IT's the END OF CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT I TELL YOU!! -- Dogs and cats, sleeping together -- How COULD I betray myself so by finding this arrogant Conferederate heathen Mason-Dixon jarhead HICK attractive??????? )
*The light in her armour gradually fades; Peacemaker regains her composure; a slightly forced grin washes over her face as she tosses her head to one side...*
"Hey Gootchie, you're too late for dinner... must've dawdled a little too long tonight at RACIAL EPITHET SCHOOL. I hear you're at the top of your class, huh???"
*Her rage returns*
-- And don't forget -- I'm PART IRISH!!!
*Rushes the Gootch and swings a would-be-fatal kick to the crotch, failing to notice the Gootch doesn't move a muscle to defend himself*
<CLAAAAAAANNNNNGGGGGG>
*Peacemaker's foot seemingly strikes the soul of titanium immortality, the din drowning the cries of her agony, as the blow ramifies up her leg and into her torso, pitching her to the ground in a heap of metal bearing an eerie resemblance to the Tin Man just after an encounter with the Wicked Witch*
<WELLLL ALLLRIGHTY THENNNNN......>
*Peacemaker's bobbling voice echoes up through the pile*
"Yyyouu knoowww Googoootchchch, I usually dodon't lelet pepeople tatalk to meme lilike thaat bubut in your cacase I'lllll mamake an exceppptionnnn...."
<Sufferin' Succotash -- maybe I've met my match... Where IS PH when I need him???>
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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grunancross
Famous Hero
King of the Underdark
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posted April 18, 2003 08:55 AM |
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Gootch.....man are you a fool.....no matter how many good guy players they are it only takes one good woman..
i tought my wife how to play and i really don't think you or monst any on can beat her...i mean all she does is play heroes and make maps...women have like a special sence...its weird play a girl is always harder than playing a guy...as in real life a girl is sneaky if they aply this to homm thats your a$$ handed to you..
example:guy would rather never to lose even one scout to a girl...and in the end that could be his defeat
girl: doesnt care cause she has been baiting you from the start the always play 3 to 4 moves a head of you all while looking good....its the style...think about all the things that a lady can make you do? and what another guy to do?
whats realy fun is 2 ladys 2 ramparts poor crag hack is dead meat!
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yasmiel
Supreme Hero
Former Chessmaster
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posted April 18, 2003 07:54 PM |
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Quote:
No need to have one, girls suck at turn-based strategy games. Don't believe me? When was the last time you saw a woman besides the Polger sisters in the top 1,000 chess players in the world?
I usually don't defend girls but....
Why there are no girls in top 1000 chess players?
Not because they suck, but because they are inpatient WHICH IS GOOD. Average (top 100) chess game takes 3-5 hours (some evem 10 or more) and i think that the one who refuses to play such game is smarter than tho one who wins it after 5 hour marathon.
I played against a girl in quarter-finals of regional championship and I won just because she didn't want to play additional 1-2 hours to beat me altough she had a decent advantage and she would likely win.
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted April 18, 2003 11:45 PM |
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lol
grunantoss, i dont think you should judge every h3 player around just because you lack gaming skills and get your butt kiked by your wife 
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grunancross
Famous Hero
King of the Underdark
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posted April 19, 2003 11:22 PM |
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i realy like to see guys that are theatened buy women...its very funny,yet sad...im one of the best at homm plus ive been playing for along time...however i'd never say that girls are no good at this game if they have the same love for the game they will bw at the same skill level
When people say that someone else is no good and never played them..That in it self says they are proby no good...I learned that from playing Street Fighter...This is a topic that realy show us who has lots of probs with women and thos of us who considers them our friend and loved ones.
I't kinda makes me feel bad to to see guys talk this way bout...well its not very gentlemen like no is it?
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted April 20, 2003 02:00 AM |
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Quote:
im one of the best at homm plus ive been playing for along time...
lol grunantoss
play some multiplayer against some vets at zone first and i think you will re concider your statement above...
And for that matter it wouldnt suprise me if the vets wifes will kik your butt too
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grunancross
Famous Hero
King of the Underdark
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posted April 20, 2003 02:12 AM |
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Quote:
Quote:
im one of the best at homm plus ive been playing for along time...
lol grunantoss
play some multiplayer against some vets at zone first and i think you will re concider your statement above...
And for that matter it wouldnt suprise me if the vets wifes will kik your butt too
So u think that jus cause they are vets in mplayer they should be vets for people who dont play online.....i think that is foolish..im sure that there wives would have a chance to beat me jus like anyone else ......mplayer stats to me dont even count to me...only when ive played them so to think thas funny Sir TossingStiven os in it self not saying that while im a noob in online playing you might jus be a noob in homm...im not the best but im realy good
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted April 20, 2003 02:35 AM |
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lol...
well stop whining here then and go play some games online
I would recommend Aculias as a good start for you..His an average player and im sure you will make just as much sense to eachother since both of you uses about the same amount of punctations
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grunancross
Famous Hero
King of the Underdark
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posted April 20, 2003 02:48 AM |
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so he is pretty good? soon as my puter in running order ok that would be fun...i jus like to play people better than me
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bpanik2
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posted April 20, 2003 04:16 AM |
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HAHA
I, havn't visited this mess place in months,1st thing I, read is battle of sexes,and gootch ruffling pandoras female feathers ehe, this is a real good idea. this tourny only problem I can see is the red faces of shame in ppl like gootch if they get hammered lmao,and there more females than can do it than you realize,so on with games let the red faces fly,lol i cant wait.
bpanik2 see ya on the battle fields.
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Sir_Elric
Responsible
Famous Hero
Having a bad hair day.
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posted April 21, 2003 02:30 AM |
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April 15th, 2002 first posted and a year later we may have a tourney rofl.....
*holding his breath*
SE
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Neverwinter Nights - "City of Melnibone"
Direct connect - ausnwn2.dyndns.org:5121
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grunancross
Famous Hero
King of the Underdark
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posted April 22, 2003 07:18 AM |
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i think that a turny... would be a good idea in the end itll all even out
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted April 22, 2003 07:20 AM |
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What is this turn of events?
<While whirling his sockful of quarters...preparing his coup de grace against Peacemaker...our hero is momentarily distracted>
"What the hell is going on here? Bp...where did you come from? And what is with this silliness about other women kicking my butt? Give me some names... C'mon, don't be obscure. While you're getting me a list, do me a favor and take Gomer Pyle with you. He's starting to chafe me."
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grunancross
Famous Hero
King of the Underdark
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posted April 22, 2003 07:26 AM |
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As I said "BONE HEAD"...all it takes is one lady...and I think Mandy can do it...heh prolly easy for her.
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted April 22, 2003 05:53 PM |
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<Whilst the Gootch is distracted in conversation, our heroine reaches in the the pile of metal once her armour and pulls out a pearl-handled Colt single-action revolver, also known as -- you guessed it -- "the Peacemaker" -- >
<Our heroine nudges the revolver up to Gootch's crotch while he's not looking>
"Hey Gootch! My great gramma stole this from your great grandaddy's corpse at Little Big Horn you TOAD --"
<Peacemaker pulls the trigger -- out pops a Wand of Cancellation with a flag on it that says:
BANG -- YOU NOW OWE ME A SOCKFUL OF QUARTERS
<Suddenly the Gootch's middle section explodes with a great bang like an M-80 and a small snake slithers out. Peacemaker, now armourless, leaps from the heap of metal, snatches the sock from the Gootch and sprints off in the direction of New Shop>
"Sorry about your snake there, Gootch!!!" (her voice trails off as she flees the scene...)
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted April 22, 2003 06:00 PM |
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<Peacemaker, suddenly realizing she is totally naked except for her slightly-altered revolver, a bagful of quarters, and a long toss of black curls (which surely must be fake given her heritage), decides instead to first return briefly to the castle to retrieve the Gootch's cloak, of which she has become so fond... >
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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