artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted January 25, 2018 04:20 PM |
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How Genies Operate
(In Turkish slang, genie also means someone who has wit, who is sharp but usually in a swindling way.)
I'm translating this dialog from text message screenshots:
- Selamun Aleykum hoja.
- Aleykumselam, how can I help?
- I found your number on Instagram, I'm in big trouble, can you please help me?
- Of course, I'm listening.
- I see strange things. I moved many times, it's all the same in every house. I hear babies crying, footsteps from the living room... Why is this, what should I do?
- I'm sending you an audio file, turn on the volume and walk through all the rooms in the house.
(Image of audio file with special prayer to shoo away genies.)
- You sing like a canary hoja.
Some minutes later:
- I did what you told me. The voices are even louder now.
- This must be the Cuhenna Tribe. (A tribe of genies infamous for abusing humans.)
- Hoja, please do something or I'll go insane.
- Can you come here?
- I'm in Ankara, I have work here. It's the public housing site outside the city.
- I see. How often do you hear these voices?
- I hear them even now, I'm home.
- I don't want to scare you but you are not alone.
- How many of them are there?
- I can't tell. They are a tribe.
- Don't say such things, please! Help me.
- Don't worry, I'll save you. But the rest requires a fee.
- How much?
- 500.
- 500! Can't you just go a little lower?
- The price is fixed.
- Well... Oh to hell with it. Give me yoru iban, I'll send the money. We'll get rid of them for sure, right?
- Of course my child, it'll be dealt with only in half an hour.
- Ok, when I try to send the money, I run into this:
(Screenshot of bank site message: This is a limited account. For transaction, send a minimum total of 850 TL)
- Try again.
- I tried 3 times already.
- Well, can't you send 850 then?
- I only have 524 TL in my account. Can you send me 350, so that I can send you 850.
- ...
- I swear to God, we are honest folk hoja. Never once have I spent ill-gotten-gains in my life. Please help me.
- Ok, send me the iban.
- It says you sent only 343 TL.
- There's the transaction fee.
- Oh, okay then. Thank you very much. You were right, btw. It was all resolved in half an hour.
- What?
- Your money worked like a charm. The genies are all gone.
(Image of audio file.)
- Oh, don't be cursing like that now hoja, I'm just trying to make a living like you.
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Are you pretty? This is my occasion. - Ghost
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