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Heroes Community > Volcanic Wastelands > Thread: I WAS OFFERED A BANANA!
Thread: I WAS OFFERED A BANANA! This thread is 2 pages long: 1 2 · NEXT»
fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted August 09, 2018 08:31 AM

I WAS OFFERED A BANANA!

ok, so, this dude comes up to me at work, and offers me a banana. He had a straight face when he asked. When i politely declined, he smirked and left.

So, what i want to know is, was dude offering me a banana, gay code for his schlong???

And if so, how can i profess my love?



No, but really. There are a lot of gay dudes where i work. It's the highest percentage i've ever seen. It's gotta be upwards of 30% of the entire workforce. Not that i give a snow, but why here? I don't work at a gay strip club, ffs.

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NoobX
NoobX


Promising
Legendary Hero
posted August 09, 2018 08:41 AM

Have you tried turning it off and on again?
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JoonasTo
JoonasTo


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted August 09, 2018 08:43 AM

Or it was eloquently spiced with horse radish.

Now youíll never know.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted August 09, 2018 08:56 AM

Eat the banana fred! Don't be so inconsiderate.
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Ghost
Ghost


Supreme Hero
Therefore I am
posted August 09, 2018 09:31 AM

Is snow banana?

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Stevie
Stevie


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
posted August 09, 2018 10:01 AM

You should've gobbled his banana right there.
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Guide to a Great Heroes Game
The Young Traveler

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frostymuaddib
frostymuaddib


Promising
Supreme Hero
育碧是白痴
posted August 09, 2018 10:01 AM

Poke him with a stick.

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phe
phe


Famous Hero
Life and Freedom
posted August 09, 2018 11:07 AM

tell him that you like only blended banana...

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blob2
blob2


Legendary Hero
Blob-Ohmos the Second
posted August 09, 2018 11:07 AM

In my workplace fruits/vegetables are just lying there in kitchen for anyone to grab. If a guy offered me a banana in a way you described I would probably say: "oh, nice timing I was going to make me some cofee either way", and politely refuse "since I'm going anyway I'll grab something for myself, thanks!"

Btw isn't this sexual harassment?

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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted August 09, 2018 01:37 PM

blob2 said:
Btw isn't this sexual harassment?


He had a banana in his hand at the time, but i still think he was hitting on me. Sweet lord, i hope so.

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Elvin
Elvin


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted August 09, 2018 01:41 PM

blob2 said:
In my workplace fruits/vegetables are just lying there in kitchen for anyone to grab. If a guy offered me a banana in a way you described I would probably say: "oh, nice timing I was going to make me some cofee either way", and politely refuse "since I'm going anyway I'll grab something for myself, thanks!"

Btw isn't this sexual harassment?

Note to self, don't offer a banana to that ungrateful blob2!
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EnergyZ
EnergyZ


Legendary Hero
President of MM Wiki
posted August 09, 2018 01:59 PM

Reply with "I wanna a banana split instead." Then see his reaction.

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Ghost
Ghost


Supreme Hero
Therefore I am
posted August 09, 2018 02:30 PM

..or ask a question: do you offer mellow yellow to me?

Colloquial term for dried banana skins which are smoked. In the late 1960s it was a common believe that scrapings from ordinary bananas when dried and mixed with tobacco or marijuana could give hallucinogen effects, it was called poor mans LSD. The theory was that the scrapings when smoked transformed into DMT like substances. Scientific studies has not confirmed this and self-suggestion, hyperventilation and other ingredients are the possible explanation of the reported effects

Maybe Fred starts to try mellow yellow about info.


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Zenofex
Zenofex


Responsible
Legendary Hero
Kreegan-atheist
posted August 09, 2018 02:42 PM

Is he a Middle Eastern type? If yes, the banana will explode at some point. Up to you.

Is he an African type (not Afro-American you short-sighted racist!)? If yes, the banana was the sustenance of him and his family for one week back in his homeland and you offended him greatly by turning it down, the arrogant oversee pale deity that you are.

If he a Chinese type? If yes, the banana represents the mandate of heaven - which in your case has reached the point where everything is totally ****ed up and it's time to stop ****ing around and step down so more competent and morally ascended people can take over. It's THAT obvious. Find another job, seriously!  

Is he an Indian type (East India, that one across the ocean, not Mississippi land)? If yes, he's from an outsourcing company with 100000 employees like him, trying to tell you what the future holds for all of you, you overpaid, proper-accent, ex-colonialist white trash. They'll outsource you soon, better prepare.

Is he a European type? If yes, he's showing you what a properly subsidized, organically grown, standard-shaped, EU-regulated banana looks like. You'll never have anything like that in your junk-food-ridden hell hole of a country. Just try to imagine what will happen if they actually start growing bananas in Europe.

Is he your type? Then what are you waiting for?

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blob2
blob2


Legendary Hero
Blob-Ohmos the Second
posted August 09, 2018 03:14 PM


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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted August 09, 2018 04:09 PM

Zenofex said:
Is he your type? Then what are you waiting for?


he'd totally be my type if he was female...


@ blob: worms armageddon is such a great game.

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artu
artu


Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
posted August 09, 2018 04:17 PM

Yeah, in the early 2000ís before Mac went Intel, I remember setting up a Windows emulator on my computer just to be able to play Worms Armageddon. Today, the damn thing is in my phone. Technology changes so fast.
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I admit it, I like it when they are bombastic - Neraus

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NoobX
NoobX


Promising
Legendary Hero
posted August 09, 2018 05:12 PM

Not fast enough.  Where are my quantum computers?  Where are my Dyson spheres?
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fred79
fred79


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
SCOURGE OF THE H-SEA
posted August 09, 2018 06:16 PM

*steps out of time machine*

Where's the beef?

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Trogdor
Trogdor


Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
posted August 10, 2018 06:53 PM

I have a better question.

Where's Wally?
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"Artu said illegal" - Ghost

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