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Heroes Community > Volcanic Wastelands > Thread: Naughty jokings
Thread: Naughty jokings This thread is 3 pages long: 1 2 3 · NEXT»
Ghost
Ghost


Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
posted August 22, 2022 01:50 PM

Naughty jokings

Do you know cute, angry, no talking pussy smells so very bad, because pussy ate mice.

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Salamandre
Salamandre


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
posted August 22, 2022 01:55 PM

What is "jokings"?

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Celfious
Celfious


Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
posted August 23, 2022 07:51 PM
Edited by Celfious at 19:52, 23 Aug 2022.

So this husband is going on a business trip right and he wanted his wife to be satisfied. He goes to a shop and asks about various items, because he doesn't know.. And the shop keeper trying to get rid of a product called voodoo ****.

The man asks how it works and shopkeeper takes it out of box and says voodoo **** manikin.. The toy starts floating and goes over to this manikin and does it's magic.
Shopkeeper goes "voodoo **** box" and it goes back into it's box.
The husband says wow amazing such amazed my wife will love this.

So he buys it, gives to wife, and goes on his business trip.

The wife tries it says voodoo ****, *****. And the toy delivers, delivers so well, and doesn't stop.

The wife can't figure out how to make it stop so she ends up driving to a hospital but on the way a cop pulls her over since she is swerving and appears to be on drugs. Which she is not. So she explains while all this is going on

And the cop says voodoo **** my arse
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What are you up to

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Celfious
Celfious


Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
posted August 23, 2022 08:05 PM

Same shop different customer. This lady goes into a shop looking for self pleasure toys and long story short the shop keeper sells her this "magic frog"

She takes it home and follows the instructions to the T.
Dim the lights, put on romantic songs, light candles, take a soothing bath in flower petals even.. Pour two glasses of wine. She's like "frogs don't drink wine" but then she's like this is a magic frog i guess after all.

She brings him to the bed expecting something magical to happen but nothing. The songs still playing everything just right but no magic occurs with this frog.

She calls the shop keeper and explains her confusion. He says "well we have closed up shop but i understand this is very important to you, so I can come over and see what's going on."

Reluctantly she gives him the address and puts her robe on. Before the current song was overz this guy knocks on her door in a flash. Says "okay where is he?"

So he looks at the frog, flexes its legs out a bit tosses it lightly in his hand... "Well everything seems to be in order.

Okay frog one more time, I will show you how this is done,"
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What are you up to

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fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted August 24, 2022 03:16 AM

little johnny no!

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Ghost
Ghost


Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
posted August 28, 2022 12:50 PM
Edited by Ghost at 14:50, 28 Aug 2022.

I tested and I got a knowing. Can you guess my knowing? Artu can't be gay, when Salamandre loves Galatea, thus Salamandre used a Viagra.

Do you know fred79 is ex-soldier, protect you from bull-snower, but fred79 is really thin guy.




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Ghost
Ghost


Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
posted August 31, 2022 05:16 PM

Today is Wednesday, Girls! So good! that lonely..

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fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted September 01, 2022 02:16 AM

Ghost said:
fred79 is really thin guy


it's called diet and exercise. you can be fit, too; if you really wanted to be.

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Drakon-Deus
Drakon-Deus


Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
posted September 05, 2022 11:12 AM

fred79 said:


it's called diet and exercise. you can be fit, too; if you really wanted to be.


True. I lost about 20 kg in the past three months with a healthier diet and daily exercise. Keeping it up.
____________
Horses don't die on a dog's wish.

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fred79
fred79


Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
posted September 05, 2022 01:47 PM

Drakon-Deus said:
True. I lost about 20 kg in the past three months with a healthier diet and daily exercise. Keeping it up.


awesome to hear, man. self-improvement is never a bad thing.

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Ghost
Ghost


Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
posted September 06, 2022 06:26 PM

Ok self-improvements..

If I remember they don't like a natural, pure, large, thick and resembling veined.. If you know what I mean.. Ok we look a video together.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZS2kMKtBDs

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Ghost
Ghost


Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
posted September 08, 2022 07:21 PM

Do you know Geny? He destroys Palestine. How?



Thus America blesses Geny is Mighty King.

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Drakon-Deus
Drakon-Deus


Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
posted October 22, 2022 11:34 PM

fred79 said:
Drakon-Deus said:
True. I lost about 20 kg in the past three months with a healthier diet and daily exercise. Keeping it up.


awesome to hear, man. self-improvement is never a bad thing.


Thank you. Update: Now it's 32 kg lost in 4 months. Keeping it up.
____________
Horses don't die on a dog's wish.

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Drakon-Deus
Drakon-Deus


Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
posted December 16, 2022 07:54 AM

Update: I weigh 103 kg. 44 kg lost in 6 months.
____________
Horses don't die on a dog's wish.

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JollyJoker
JollyJoker


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
posted December 16, 2022 01:32 PM

That is VERY commendable.

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Salamandre
Salamandre


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
posted December 16, 2022 02:09 PM

Quite surrealistic. -2 kg/week and keep that for 6 months, how the hell
____________
Era II mods and utilities

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gnollking
gnollking


Supreme Hero
posted December 16, 2022 04:24 PM

Drakon-Deus said:
Update: I weigh 103 kg. 44 kg lost in 6 months.

nice

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Drakon-Deus
Drakon-Deus


Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
posted December 16, 2022 04:25 PM

Thank you all.

@Sal: Not impossible if you combine a healthy diet and exercise and keep this up every day. That's all for me.
____________
Horses don't die on a dog's wish.

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Salamandre
Salamandre


Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
posted December 16, 2022 04:37 PM


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Ghost
Ghost


Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
posted December 16, 2022 04:45 PM



I weight 116kg.. You are better-looking, and I'm a fat.. 24.12.22, I'll check the weight again. 2 years ago I weighed 123 or 126kg.. How? I used lesser butter.. More chicken foods.. I got a protein! No fat! Why? I don't want ruined body, if fast and etc And then I've awesome clothes in the locker.. Today I'm using XL.. Diesel and G-Star Raw! Only GS Raw in the locker.. Snow!
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Fight MWMs - stand teach

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