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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: As seen in The Rockall Times .....
Thread: As seen in The Rockall Times .....
Tommo
Tommo


Hired Hero
Has brains is dangerous.......
posted June 28, 2002 04:27 PM

As seen in The Rockall Times .....

I saw this in www.therockalltimes.co.uk very funny web site...


Fifth Circle of the Pentagon sealed

Otherworldly daemons once again contained

by BF Hart , Grand Wizard of The Church of the Latter-Day Satirists

High Priests recently oversaw the completion of repairs to the Pentagon which suffered extensive damage in the attacks of 9 November.

America's central military command and eternal prison of the ancient Soggoth — a variety of daemon with unspeakable capacity for evil — was not sufficiently damaged in the attacks to rupture the fifth, innermost circle of the building. But American engineers and wizards felt that a rapid rebuilding of the four outer circles of eternal containment be reconnected — thus completing the Five Circles of Isis and preventing the Soggoth's escape. With the Soggoth contained, the continuation of the American military's control of the underworld, black magic, and of evil itself is all but assured.

"By placing the last stone in place and applying the appropriate sacrificial ceremonies and the burning of candles and things of that nature, we can guarantee the American public and the rest of the world that this particular containment facility is once again completely secure," reported one Pentagon High Priest who asked not to be named. "The Soggoth shall be our captive lords for all eternity."

In return for their eternal service, the Soggoth require periodic mass sacrifices. Locations in India, Palestine, and Iraq are all being considered.


____________

Just tossing out seeds.

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Oldtimer
Oldtimer


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
posted June 28, 2002 08:50 PM

Damn investigative reporters, never get the facts right.

Soggoth was never in any actual danger of being released, that is just a wild fabrication by our enemies trying to shake the world's confidence in our ability to controll the nether regions.  I believe that this must be a conspiracy designed by the unseen enemy in order to shake confidence in the markets and cause economic turmoil.

The invisible hand is still in control of the markets.  The lesser demons are currently being rounded up and sealed in their prisons.  The Enron and Worldcom executives that sold their souls to these demons will be reeducated. Although I think that the Martha Stewart pact has made her untouchable.

I always am suspect of reporters who color their reports with their prejudices.  The"dark" powers, or "black" magic are just a couple of examples of this.  I believe that the rest of the world is just jealous of the U.S. ability to control and channel an ethereal plane.  It is a natural resource, nothing more, and I must say that the U.S. was not the first to tap into it, but we have been able to control it quite well.

But I did see an interal Dept. of Supernatural Defence (DSD) memo that said that Frace may need to be sacrificed, but I can neither confirm or deny that any actons will be taken.
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