|
| Thread: Customer Service (Rant) | |
|
Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
|
posted July 05, 2002 10:40 PM |
|
|
Customer Service (Rant)
The sheer unrivaled stupidity of the consumer in the modern world amazes me. i work both in a Pharmacy and in bar. I get more coherant responses in the bar. In addition I have a friend who works in a petrol station (in the same superstore as my pharmacy). Through sitting together and ranting we were able to make two lists:- one regarding customers and one regarding managers. Here is the list of the attributes and special skills customers possess.
1) "Glad we are all on the same page here". Customers have the ability, in Hastings, to produce answers to questions ased which obviously have been beamed down from a different reality. An example:-
Me:- How many items do you have?
Customer:- I always come here
Or..
Me:- What colour is the packet?
Customr:- Yes
This is an unparralled ability and should be part of he olympic games.
2) "I'm racist, how are you?". Customers down here reject the unfamiliar. Even if it is in fact the familiar. Many medicines are imported. They are the same medicine. THE SAME. INDENTICAL. Right down to the bonding particles. There is no difference. Yet many claim they cannot have the "for-in" ones because "I'm allergic to them". Hmm, funny. When we put them in a different colour packet, they take them with no side effects at all. Another classic example was a woman given the French version of a drug.
Mrs Pyne:- (handing me pills) I don't want the German ones.
Me:- (handing them back) Good, that's nice.
Mrs P:- I said i didn't want the German ones.
Me:- That's rather fortuneate, since those are French
How, please, can you confuse German and French?
3) "What's a queue?". Scenario description. Woman walks in with a prescription.
Me:- That will be 30 minutes.
Woman:- But it's only a packet of pills.
Me:- I know, we have a queue of 25 people in front of you That is 25 items to be done before yours.
Woman:- It's only a packet of pills
Me:- Yes, but there are other people who put their prescriptions in before you. This means we do theirs first. This is called a queue.
Woman:- But it's only a packet of pills.
Me:- (picking up three items from the display case) Look.. this is you.. these are the people in front of you. when these people are gone, that puts you at the front. QUEUE.
Woman:- But it's only a packet of pills
You get the point I'm sure. It then becomes a farce similar to Fawlty Towers. With me as Basil.
4) "Why aren't you psychic?". There are many examples of this, but a good one is somebody in the petrol station.
Garry (my friend):- Hello sir, what can I do for you.
Man:- I'd like to pay.
Garry:- Which pump are you at?
Man:- I dunno.
(skip to when pump has been located)
Garry:- That will be £10 then please.
Man:- Okay. (makes no move at all to take out his wallet. Customer and shop assitant look at each other unblinking for 40minutes).
5) "Walk 2 minutes down the road? Are you nuts?". We only have a finite amount of storage space. Due to this, we can only stock X amount of medicine. When this runs out, the customer must go elsewhere. Thereis another chemist located exactly 2 1/2 minutes down the road at a slow walk (1 minute at a run and 2 minutes at a fast walk).
Me:- I'm sorry we don't have it. Have you tried Boots?
Man:- Boots?? Boots??? I'm not walking all the ******** way to ******** Boots, that's ********* miles!
Me:- Riiighhht.. well, we can order it for you for tomorrow.
Man:- No, I need it today.
Me:- Well, Boots is open for another 5 hours.
Man:- But that's miles! I'll leave it overnight.
I cannot begin to understand this. it is beyond comprehension. It takes longer to walk to the carpark belonging to my store than it does to Boots. This is mildly disconcerting.
I have more, but I think this has potential to be an everlasting thread really. Follow these guidelines and you too can be hated by shop assistants everywhere.
____________
 Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
http://aozos.com/phpBB2/index.php
|
|
Mysia
Hired Hero
I am Insane, So Humor Me
|
|
posted July 05, 2002 11:15 PM |
|
|
Funny... Most of us can relate, a while ago my mom asked me to help out at my brother's b-day party, it was at the local climbing gym. So I was ready to hoist ppl up very tall walls w/ tons of little hand holds in them when a kid comes up and says "I wanna climb." Of course the kid didn't know which wall he wanted to climb, and that 5 other kids were waiting before him... Life is a pain.
____________
I am not avoiding you... I am selectivly bypassing you.
|
|
arachnid
Promising
Famous Hero
|
|
posted July 06, 2002 01:35 AM |
|
|
maybe its because its just an extremley unimportant thing to be doing that you really dont even need to think. There minds are probably of thinking about something much more exciting while you on the other hand are doing a job.
____________
|
|
bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
|
|
posted July 06, 2002 06:16 PM |
|
|
You know, Cat, I'd bet if you watched these customers go to their cars, they'd be driving SUVs...
My girlfriend used to work in a framing store (well, in the framing section of a much larger store). She said the worst was the inability of customers to connect the sign with the prices listed on it to the probable price of their framing job. Framing is expensive. It's just a fact. She really didn't need people yelling at her about the price when she doesn't set the prices and they should have been able to figure out a general idea of the price by looking at the prices sign.
The best stories come from wait-people, though. One of my friends worked at Chili's. For those non-americans out there, Chili's belongs to a class of generic "bar and grill" also referred to as "family restaurants." I view them as evidence that there IS a God and (s)he's punishing us for our sins. Basically, somebody decided that they didn't get enough airport food and they wanted the joys of airport food without having to fly. Anyway, the following exchange once occured:
He : ...and our special tonight is blah blah blah... any questions?
She : How is the chicken sandwich?
He : It's pretty good.
She : But is it delicious?
He : Um... I like it.
She : Yes, but you didn't answer my question - is it delicous?
He : I guess.
She : Because I'm in the mood for something delicious, not something that's just pretty good. I guess I'll get something else.
He : Okay...
I don't remember the end of the story, so I'll just make it up and claim that she got the chicken sandwich anyway. Makes for better narrative completeness.
An acquantance (I'm being very careful not to use the term friend in this case) worked at Starbucks and they had a regular customer that would call ahead every morning to reserve a cinnamon scone. Now the thing is, Starbucks doesn't reserve food like that. The first customer to enter and request said scone will receive it. They told her this every day, and yet she continued calling ahead every day. On the occasions when they were out of cinnamon scones by the time she arrived she would become irate and chew them out. The next day she would call ahead to reserve her cinnamon scone.
|
|
RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
|
|
posted July 07, 2002 03:20 AM |
|
|
But don't these same morons work in Fast food restaurants.
I went up to order a meal from KFC.
Father - "I'd like a number 7 please."
Clerk - "Number 5? And You?"
Me - "He ordered a number 7."
Clerk - "Number 7? Ok. That will be $8.50."
This is about the only time you consider committing a felony.
____________
Go Red Sox!
|
|
Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
|
|
posted July 07, 2002 09:48 PM |
|
|
Some other rather choice examples... I worked both jobs this weekend, so I'm in an interesting mood lol
Some other brilliant customer examples of "selective brain capacity"; divided into easy to handle bitesize scenarios.
Scenario 1:-
Customer:- I'd like that cream for arthritus, you know...
Me:- Movelat?
Cust:- No, not that one.. it comes in a blue box
Me:- (reaching into draw and pulling out Movelat Cream in a pink box) This one?
Cust:- Yes, that's it
Words cannot describe my utter bemusement.
Scenario 2:-
Cust:- I'd like some sinutab.
Me:- Have you taken it before?
Customer:- Thirty
This does not begin to make any sense in any way whatsoever. None at all. I can only assume the messages that were being beamed down from their mothership got crossed.
To Bort:- Actually, they drive a variety of cars. largely SUVs but also the dreaded "space cruiser" or possibly a car which is very small but still parked aross three spaces.
____________
Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
http://aozos.com/phpBB2/index.php
|
|
arachnid
Promising
Famous Hero
|
posted July 08, 2002 01:07 AM |
|
|
maybe its your welsh accent? It happens all the time when i go down to england, no one understands what im saying and i have trouble making what they say out.
____________
|
|
Dar_Kraven
Bad-mannered
Adventuring Hero
Finally Sober
|
|
posted July 08, 2002 01:21 AM |
|
|
i Got One
Clerk dude: Well, We Have a Varitety of Seats Avaible.......We Have the 30.00 One, the 20.00 One and the 10.00 one
Customer: I Will have the $5 one
Clerk Dude: We dont have any $5 ones
Customer: Give me the $5 one
Clerk Dude: We Dont have a $5 One
Customer: $5 oNE pLEASE
____________
|
|
RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
|
|
posted July 08, 2002 06:04 AM |
|
|
That sounds like something you made up.
____________
Go Red Sox!
|
|
Dar_Kraven
Bad-mannered
Adventuring Hero
Finally Sober
|
|
posted July 08, 2002 10:33 PM |
|
|
Actually, it isnt......i went to a WWE Show The other day.....and when i was buying tickets......this one moron was doing that
____________
|
|
|
|
