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| Thread: Good Role-Playing tales | |
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privatehudson
Responsible
Legendary Hero
The Ultimate Badass
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posted October 23, 2002 02:52 AM |
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Good Role-Playing tales
Hey guys, I was looking through some of the stuff I downloaded off the web years ago to do with role-playing I had forgotten I had, but these are funny anyway. I'd just like to say that bar the 1st story, none of these are my experiences. The others come from about 10 or 12 different pages around the web.
My story:
Once in our party we had a paladin played by a kid called ben who never went into battle without a suit of full plate mail armour on. When we came across a tower we got in and advanced into the ground floor room. Facing us was 4 basilisks (stone gaze creatures). Ben advanced boldly into battle, only to discover in the confines of the tower when our mage let off a lightning bolt it rebounded off a basilisk, straight into ben, into a wall, then straight back into ben. Being in full plate mail armour the paladin rapidly became something of a dead paladin in a metal tin 
We Reseurrected ben and advanced up the stairs to the 1st floor, to find a hydra facing us. Once again ben charged yelling his battle cry. This time he succeeded in actually hitting the enemy, but 2 enemy heads bit huge holes in both him and his armour, leaving the paladin close to death. With only a mage, a rogue and a cleric (me)left the mage launched a fireball at the hydra, only he misjudged the range and set it off to close to ben. Ben Mk II died, this time of flame damage. The cleric proceded to wade in and finish the hydra off.
After we ressurected him AGAIN (we had scrolls) we took the next and final level to find a old black dragon..... This time ben took advice and we surrounded it, attacking from all sides and at the same time. Worse luck though, just prior to death the dragon raised itself up on it's hind legs and was immediately hit by about 4 blows. The dragon died, but Geuss who it fell towards? Yes ben, and this time despite being in perfect health, ben died as he failed to scramble away in time before the body crushed him.
This might not be so amusing, but for the fact that all of this took place in one night within 2 hours. To my knowledge no other character I've played with of D&D has ever been killed 3 times in 2 hours. The DM thankfully decided "Ben" had earnt his spell in the afterlife and refused to let us ressurect him again The player was not amused, but the rest of us were VERY amused. 
Here's some others from around the web
GM: "You need someone with Weaponsmith."
Sevarion: I have Blacksmith."
Leopold: "Well, if we need to make something blunt, we'll call you."
Palarian: "I have Weaponsmith but not Blacksmith."
Leopold: "So you can make a sword, but not a nail?"
Tobin: "Okay...for future note, FAM means Fuel-Air-Missile...Meaning you don't fire them in Subway tunnels..."
Tobin: "The bad guys have arrived...they got tanks..."
Dunn: "How many tanks?"
<Pause>
Dunn: "How many?!"
Tobin: "--Hold on! I'm still counting!!"
Penner: "You have ten seconds to getout of my face...One, two--"
Dias: "Before you get stuck, somewhere around "six", I'll go."
Brown: "You want to shoot down four jumbo jets to kill four people?"
Lund: "Its a solution, isn't it?"
PAUSE
Brown: "Be Quiet."
Bradley: "Don't do that!"
Dias: "I'm just enjoying the moment."
Bradley: "Well, I don't get out, but I don't do that!"
(I'll let you all interpret that as you may) 
Dias: "That's bad sportsmanship. You can't just let the other guy win, can you?"
Dias: "There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full."
Dias: "I would have her checked for rabies but rabies only occurs in warm blooded animals."
Fidler: "I shoot the window and I dive through!!"
Dias: "Okay...bulletproof glass, the shots ricochet, as do you."
Williams: "Sorry, I am being an moron..."
<Silence>
Brown: "Hear that? ... That's the sound of noooobody disagreeing with you..."
Lansall: "The next time I use a car door for cover, don't drive the car away!"
"Throwing a grenade into a room, first, ensures a friendly reception."
"One of these bullets has your name on it, and I'm going to keep firing until I find it."
It is morning and Ako the cleric has just finished his morning meditations.
Ako - "I'll go and arouse Cain".
DM - "I think he might object to that."
This is one that comes from my campaign which is currently set in Thyatis. The 'Heros' are ransacking, sorry searching, a villa for a member of the Chancellor's family. They find thier way into a hidden crypt. After encounters with many powerful undead they fear the worse when they enter the temple itself. Do they then take the utmost care to check everything before doing anything rash? No of course not.....
Yarrin (A thief) - "I'll climb the wall so that I am above that evil font" The font is made from fused human bones and contains unholy water.
DM - "Ok you make it - what now."
Yarrin - "I'll turn round carefully and **** into the font."
DM - "It explodes in shards of bone. Make a saving throw vs wands"
Yarrin - "Made it!"
DM - "Damm!"
Strangely the entries so far for this section don't actually contain any deaths so perhaps this section should be renamed 'Comic Near Death Experiences'. In a very, very early adventure in which I DM'd the following incident occured. The most surprising thing is that the mage, Raistlin is still around and doing very well thank you in the same campaign....
DM - "You open the 20 foot square chamber and before you, stand 3 skeletons, their bony feet tapping on the floor like castenets"
Raistlin (A 1st level mage) - "I'll cast sleep."
Dekion (A Cleric), Zimheaho (An Elf) - "No ....."
DM - While your friends slump to the floor snoring the skeletons move towards you ...."
At this point I caused a reality shift to prevent the other players from beating the mage to a pulp!
The next example also involves a mage (what is it with them?) This time an Chaotic Neutral mage called Prince Sewandt played by me in an adventure run by the master of all Dungeon Masters, Rupert.
The other PC's had gone into a large chamber while I waited outside to protect the rear. (Yeah! As if!)
Prince Sewandt - "I'll wait until all the noise of fighting's stopped."
DM - "It might be some time"
.... Several rounds of action later ...
DM - "It's Stopped"
Prince Sewandt - I'll step into the room and say 'All done then?'"
DM - OK. As you enter you have brief second to notice two things. 1 All your friends are cowering behind a low wall that surrounds a stepped pit. 2. In the centre of the pit are several manticores. They have seen you and have let off a volley of spikes. Jeepers! 3 critical hits, 2 to the head and one to the chest."
...Prince Sewandt flies backwards out of the room decorating the passage as he goes. Fortunately there was a very high level cleric in the party who was able to help. So he lives to fight another day.
This next example comes from Bob M. Cooper
Our earstwhile adventuring group had decided that they were going to burn the vile temple that they had entered to the ground. Lacking the means to produce a sustained fire magically, they resorted to purchacing some 60 (!) flasks of oil and emptying them all into the Elf's backpack. Eventually, a slow drip developed...so much the better, or so the PC's thought. When they were done killing everything, they'd simply light a torch, toss it onto the oil trail, and watch the entire place burn.
The one thing they hadn't counted on were the Hellhounds.
Rounding a corner, they discover that there are a pair of Hellhounds in the room before them. Realizing that these nasty little puppies would probably get them very dead, they immediately turn tail and run. At which point, I start asking some...interesting...questions.
1) Who's in back? (The Elf)
2) What's his Move (12!)
3) Ok. He's carrying HOW much weight? (oh crap...realizing what 50-some-odd flasks of oil weigh...um...he's moving at 6).
Well, the rest of the PCs outdistance him quickly. The Hellhounds catch up with him easily. One of them breathes....
And that was the misfortunate end of their companion. A legend in our group without a name, history only remembers him as "The Exploding Elf".
Anyways hope you like, If I get the time I'll put some into the newsletter as they kinda link To HOMM being roleplaying and a fantasy realm
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We're on an express elevator to Hell, goin' down!
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted October 23, 2002 11:13 AM |
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yeah it may be a good idea to put them in the newspaper thingie.
But perhaps some of our members would like to make their own stories in which case i think you should look at those first and if there is still room for one of these stories I guess that's a great alternative
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The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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tuapui
Famous Hero
Poetic Psycho Baby BlackDragon
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posted October 23, 2002 04:28 PM |
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I was playing Baldur's Gate 2 with a couple of my friends online, and there my character was, standing in a huge chamber, facing a red dragon in all it's glamour and splendour and majesty. I pulled out my vorpal sword (silver sword) and prepared for battle. My preferred class was naturally kensai/mage, and I casted all the powerful protections upon myself, along with every of my friends gathered around the majestic looking creature,( it was'nt directly hostile, so we managed to surround it) and then after a long time of prep, (we needed it, since we are all quite low leveled) It was but a moment, the first hit one the dragon by me, and viola! Dead dragon. personally I think it is an outrage to my spieces, but the game designers obviously lack realism.
-for reference, vorpal sword is a magical sword that is +3 enchantment and has 25% chance to kill outright on every hit. Take note it must hit first, and the person gets a save vs. death or die. Frankly speaking I never expected a red dragon to be so...subscebtible to puny men and silver swords.
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 <<<Hy
peractive  Do not touch.
Highly Psychotically Poetic.
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privatehudson
Responsible
Legendary Hero
The Ultimate Badass
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posted October 23, 2002 05:53 PM |
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Romana - Actually I kinda meant some stories I have which I have not used here, but yes I'd welcome any stories anyone else has
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We're on an express elevator to Hell, goin' down!
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted October 23, 2002 07:38 PM |
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I might translate some SOSs* if I can find any.
* SOS - Słynne Ostatnie Słowa, which means Famous Last Words. They often aren't really famous, but always kinda short and usually very funny
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Yolk and God bless.
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My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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Snogard
Known Hero
customised
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posted October 24, 2002 05:04 AM |
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Hey Privatehudson, this is interesting! Anymore?
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Seize The Day.
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Gangrail
Promising
Famous Hero
Dead Man
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posted October 24, 2002 06:58 AM |
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good lord!! took me 20 min to read that book lol
ppppsssssttttt 39 more post
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privatehudson
Responsible
Legendary Hero
The Ultimate Badass
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posted October 24, 2002 10:31 AM |
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Yes I do have more, but I might save them for the newsletter, so you may have to wait....... if I can get enough I'll post others
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We're on an express elevator to Hell, goin' down!
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Gangrail
Promising
Famous Hero
Dead Man
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posted October 24, 2002 07:15 PM |
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cool
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Oldtimer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
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posted October 24, 2002 10:38 PM |
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Unless you traveled to the last page of the index you may have missed this great post by Syllogism...
Eric and the Gazebo (and possibly other roleplaying humor)
My custom status(/title) might seem a bit odd. There are two reasons why I happened to choose this one. First, I wanted it to mock several other custom titles. Secondly, I did not want to make it too obvious so I chose a word that might not be familiar to everyone. Anyway, here's the story (I believe this group is playing AD&D):
Eric and the Gazebo
ROLE-PLAYING GAMES SIG
by Richard Aronson
So... Eric was playing a neutral paladin (Why should only lawful, good religions get to have holy warriors? was the rationale) in Ed's game. He even had a holy sword, which fought well and did all those things holy swords are supposed to do, including good or evil (by random die roll). He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:
ED: You see a well-groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about 30 feet across, 15 feet high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect whether it's good.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (rolls to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: Of course not, Eric! It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a plus-three arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a gazebo! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it wih an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#%$*& gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause - he has no axe or fire spells) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo, and it catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my paladin...
At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining what a gazebo is. This is solely an afterthought, of course, but Eric is doubly lucky that the gazebo was not situated on a grassy knoll.
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<PLEASE DO NOT WAKE THE OLD MAN!>
"Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz..."
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Oldtimer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
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posted October 24, 2002 10:44 PM |
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Another D&D tale from Syllogism...
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Another story, but first some background:
Vecna was an arch-lich who ruled a realm of pure evil. One day some wizards opened a gateway from their world into this dark world. Vecna immediately detected the intrusion into his lands and began to form plans to bring this new found dimension under his tyrannical fist as well. There are several AD&D modules that revolve around Vecna's latest plots in his never-ending quest to dominate the AD&D multiverse. Eventually he did die and his body parts became artifacts of great power.
The Head of Vecna
by Mark Steuer
Many years ago (back when we all were still playing D & D, I ran a game where I pitted two groups against each other.
Several members of Group One came up with the idea of luring Group Two into a trap. You remember the Hand of Vecna and the Eye of Vecna that were artifacts in the old D&D world where if you cut off your hand (or your eye) and replaced it with the Hand of Vecna (or the Eye) you'd get new awesome powers? Well, Group One thought up The Head of Vecna.
Group One spread rumors all over the countryside (even paying Bards to spread the word about this artifact rumored to exist nearby). They even went so far as to get a real head and place it under some weak traps to help with the illusion. Unfortunately, they forgot to let ALL the members of their group in on the secret plan (I suspect it was because they didn't want the Druid to get caught and tell the enemy about this trap of theirs, or maybe because they didn't want him messing with things).
The Druid in group One heard about this new artifact and went off in search of it himself (I believe to help prove himself to the party members...) Well, after much trial and tribulation, he found it; deactivated (or set off) all the traps; and took his "prize" off into the woods for examination. He discovered that it did not radiate magic (a well known trait of artifacts) and smiled gleefully.
I wasn't really worried since he was alone and I knew that there was no way he could CUT HIS OWN HEAD OFF. Alas I was mistaken as the Druid promptly summoned some carnivorous apes and instructed them to use his own scimitar and cut his head off (and of course quickly replacing it with the Head of Vecna...)
Some time later, Group one decided to find the Druid and to check on the trap. They found the headless body (and the two heads) and realized that they had erred in their plan (besides laughing at the character who had played the Druid)...The Head of Vecna still had BOTH eyes! They corrected this mistake and reset their traps and the Head for it's real intended victims...
Group Two, by this time, had heard of the powerful artifact and decided that it bore investigating since, if true, they could use it to destroy Group One. After much trial and tribulation, they found the resting place of The Head of Vecna! The were particularly impressed with the cunning traps surrounding the site (one almost missed his save against the weakest poison known to man). They recovered the Head and made off to a safe area.
Group Two actually CAME TO BLOWS (several rounds of fighting) against each other argueing over WHO WOULD GET THEIR HEAD CUT OFF! Several greedy players had to be hurt and restrained before it was decided who would be the recipient of the great powers bestowed by the Head... The magician was selected and one of them promptly cut his head off. As the player was lifting The Head of Vecna to emplace it on it's new body, another argument broke out and they spent several minutes shouting and yelling. Then, finally, they put the Head onto the character.
Well, of course, the Head simply fell off the lifeless body. All members of Group Two began yelling and screaming at each other (and at me) and then, on their own, decided that they had let too much time pass between cutting off the head of a hopeful recipient and put the Head of Vecna onto the body.
SO THEY DID IT AGAIN!... [killing another PC (= Player Character)]
In closing, it should be said that I never even cracked a smile as all this was going on. After the second PC was slaughtered, I had to give in (my side was hurting)...
And Group Two blamed ME for all of that...
So let that be a warning to you - don't let your head get cut off unless you really know what you're doing.
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<PLEASE DO NOT WAKE THE OLD MAN!>
"Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz..."
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