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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: Nice Guys
Thread: Nice Guys This thread is 3 pages long: 1 2 3 · «PREV / NEXT»
bort
bort


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
posted November 25, 2002 04:07 PM

I know the evil girl hivemind plan:

1.  Find bad boy
2.  Seduce bad boy
3.  Begin to nag bad boy
4.  Bad boy sells leather jacket, pants, buys khakis instead
5.  Bad boy forced to quit bartending job
6.  Bad boy forced to quite band
7.  Bad boy forced to get job at bank
8.  evil girl hivemind no longer interested in newly formed good boy
9.  evil girl hivemind moves on to former best friend of bad boy who no longer hangs out with bad boy because he is now a tool.
10.  repeat

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HeyYou
HeyYou


Known Hero
and beloved food provider.
posted November 25, 2002 04:54 PM

bort

Shouldn't "go shopping" appear somewhere in that list?
(Perhaps more than once?)

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bort
bort


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
posted November 25, 2002 11:31 PM

Sorry, revision:

1.  Find bad boy
2.  Seduce bad boy
3.  Begin to nag bad boy
4.  Bad boy sells leather jacket, pants, buys khakis instead
5.  Bad boy forced to quit bartending job
6.  Bad boy forced to quite band
7.  Bad boy forced to get job at bank
7a.  evil girl hivemind takes bad boy's credit card.
7b.  evil girl hivemind buys shoes
7c.  evil girl hivemind buys more shoes
7d.  evil girl hivemind buys potpouri
7e.  evil girl hivemind buys scented candles

8.  evil girl hivemind no longer interested in newly formed good boy
9.  evil girl hivemind moves on to former best friend of bad boy who no longer hangs out with bad boy because he is now a tool.
10.  repeat

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CraigHack
CraigHack


Known Hero
Have fantasies, will travel...
posted November 26, 2002 12:27 AM

Quote:
 Apparently, most women's taste in men changes over the monthly hormonal cycle.  During her most fertile phase, a woman will go for the barbarian who may be vicious but looks like he could sire big, healthy children...


RRRRrrrrrrrrrrhhh...

CraigHack like very much!
____________
The Gods have brought us together... I can't imagine why.

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Valeriy
Valeriy

Mage of the Land
Naughty, Naughty Valeriy
posted December 02, 2002 11:17 PM

I'll have to agree, society is funny

Look at some computer game players, not you of course, if they spent only a quarter of the time spent working on their computer characters and worked on their real character instead...

And most people live a practice life anyway. It's not the real life. Real life will start when they get the dream job, their dream girl/guy or whatever else. What they do now doesn't count that much because that something is not around yet. Not many get to realizing that this is precisely why it is not around. If your dream mate showed up in your room right now, would he/she like what he/she sees? Exactly

And for quite a few this is a practice person too. This person does not desever to be loved. Some other people's persons deserve to be loved but not this one. Put someone in a room with nothing to do for one hour and see if they can be with themselves without tuning out or becoming depressed. If you lack confidence, I will tell you one thing that you can do that has the potential to double your confidence in one day. But you won't do it. You'll think it's too boring and pointless. Here's the thing. Be present with yourself for one whole day. By being present I mean aware the entire time of your thoughts and feelings and moods and conciously being with them. And not getting caught into analyzing, being is different from thinking. If you can do this for one whole day... man... you'll be transformed.

Some of us seek to be with others and resent being with ourselves. And if it's so resentful to be with oneself, why give others such misery? And it doesn't have to be miserable at all. If it's a joy for you to be with yourself, think of how you'll relate to being with others...



Going back to nice guys, me in particular. I've been a nice guy around my best friend too. I've chosen instead to try on being intentional and being a stand for myself. I looked at what I want and what I don't want about him. I want to be with him when both of us are present. I don't want to be around him when he is not present. Heck I can watch movies and play games by myself I don't need another person sitting next to myself whom I can't talk to anyway. And I got sick of having to literally wave my arms around him to get him to notice something about myself that is less than obvious. Having decided what I want and what I don't want, it became clear that by continuing to have what I don't want, I severely undermine my ability to have what I want in the future. So next time I came over I noticed him not being present with me and acting like I'm a thing that is convenient to have around but only to be used whenever needed. So I asked him if he's being present with me (I explained previously what it means to be present, even with a demonstration). He says no. I ask why. Lame excuse followed. I asked if he'd like to be present with me. He said no. I got up, said "I'll see you when you want to be present with me" and left. That felt good to do, but I never done anything like that for the obvious fear that I'll end up being by myself if I don't put up with people's crap.

It happened on sunday night. Tuesday morning the phone rings and it's him. I ask "do you remember the last thing I've said to you on sunday?". He says yes. I ask "any developments on that?" And he says that he wants to see me and be present with me. He came over and we had the best time, I've actually enjoyed it a lot. And then he even thanked me for what I did on sunday.

I'm reading Conversations with God book 1 right now. Highly recommend it. Best book. Not religious, quite the opposite. One little thing it says is that by allowing the violence to continue, the victim is allowing harm to himself and also allowing the offender to be someone who is unconcious enough to harm another. So doing bad to both. I'm putting that in practice in other areas of life.

I'm not putting up with my mother talking to me certain ways any more when I see that I'm getting attacked and what I say is not being heard. Not to say that I don't want to listen. I want contribution, but not in a form of negativity. And not tolerating it already made a difference.

So I'm growing a spine

Another thing I've noticed is not speaking up about my discontent with what other people are doing. By not telling them about it I end up resenting them and feeling bad myself. That's a very high cost to pay for not saying something for the fear of sounding rude. When I say it I can make it about myself. Like "when you do this, I react this way, and I just want to clarify why you do this".
____________
You can wait for others to do it, but if they don't know how, you'll wait forever.
Be an example of what you want to see on HC and in the world.
http://www.heroesofmightandmagic.com

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Celfious
Celfious


Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
posted December 03, 2002 10:01 AM

Woah val.. Some of the high tech self, and spiritual values (mabey not so much spiritual as self) and structure developments your explaining are thing's most people dont get to have alot of the time.
Some people, never have them, as myself lately I havnt had any self growth, or even recognition that it's important.
I do wish I could care, and splurge in my desires at the same time.
(big long spiritual story, forget I mentioned it sorry)

To what BORT said.. BORT!
You should be ashamed. What you said is exactly like the males.
Males are *truly* nice, compasionate and everything until the click. Most guy's would consider the click the (you know)
I mean, myself in the past.. I really felt something, but afterward's I had a change of heart, and was disgusted of myself.

Real nice guy's know this about themselves, and wait a long time, instead of jumping right in. Long story, and off the point of what I'm telling bort.

Bort, I dont think girls are like that.. People mature, and the girl wanting the guy to mature with her is not gonna make her revert back to the 20 y/o badboy seeker when she's 24 trying to make something out of her life w/him.

right?
____________
What are you up to

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The_Gootch
The_Gootch


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
posted December 27, 2002 06:31 PM

Bah, all of this meandering and over-analyzing is making me sick to my stomach.

Women don't want whining,clingy, stuttering boys who'll follow them around like lost puppies.  You so-called nice guys have pathetic social skills when it comes to the opposite sex.

You want to know what women are attracted to?  They're attracted to self-confidence and good hygiene.

Unfortunately for most of you yutzes, you have to be in a relationship to exude the kind of self-confidence that women are most attuned to.

Bottom line...to get girls, you have to have a girl.  And if you do that, you'll cease being the nice guy that you so ardently hold onto.


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HeyYou
HeyYou


Known Hero
and beloved food provider.
posted December 30, 2002 04:48 PM

Yeah!
____________
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
~ Hanlon's Razor

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Khaelo
Khaelo


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Underwater
posted December 31, 2002 05:41 AM

Hmm.  If already having a girl is a prerequisite for being a good guy, that would explain why all the good guys are taken.

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Majin
Majin


Hired Hero
Lord of Brimstone
posted January 02, 2003 02:01 AM

I think it goes like this...

First you are interested in the person because they have either good looks or are kinda mysterious(in a good way)

Then after you've been around them or observed them closely you get familiar with their personality and start liking them for their good looks and their personality

Finally you really like them and seriously want to be with them!


____________
"Barbarians might be tough, but shadow knights are tough and use magic"

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Sir_Stiven
Sir_Stiven


Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
posted December 05, 2004 09:27 PM

Quote:
Bah, all of this meandering and over-analyzing is making me sick to my stomach.

Women don't want whining,clingy, stuttering boys who'll follow them around like lost puppies.  You so-called nice guys have pathetic social skills when it comes to the opposite sex.

You want to know what women are attracted to?  They're attracted to self-confidence and good hygiene.

Unfortunately for most of you yutzes, you have to be in a relationship to exude the kind of self-confidence that women are most attuned to.

Bottom line...to get girls, you have to have a girl.  And if you do that, you'll cease being the nice guy that you so ardently hold onto.



well put.

nice guy is usually another term for being kind, boring, shy etc¨...

so what you need to do.. is learn who you are and then show that you know who you are... that is usually seen as confidence in yourself.

though if your butt ugly... you better impress with that friggin BIGscreenTV!!!!!!!

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Aculias
Aculias


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
posted December 05, 2004 09:37 PM

What size tv do you have Stiven a 72 Ince Plasma
____________
Dreaming of a Better World

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Consis
Consis


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
posted December 06, 2004 07:41 AM
Edited By: Consis on 6 Dec 2004

Two Things:

1st: I personally follow Romana's philosophy/approach.

2nd: The_Gootch's point has been proven to be true beyond all reasonable doubt. I've seen it with others, experienced it myself, and I'm convinced it will never change.

...otherwise I'd say that a guy's image will tend to attract a type of girl that is attracted to that specific kind of guy. Some like the danger, some like the stability of money, some like the idea of cheating, some want kids, some pure sex, some want a loud-mouth bum, and most(i've learned) do NOT actually care about a guy who seeks knighthood and chivalry.

Personally speaking, for every female companion I've enticed for courtship, I've had to direct all my efforts into clearly showing that she was all that mattered, bar none. In my heart I love games, medievil art/architecture, enlightening philosophy, well-groomed schedules, fantasy novels, dragons, wizards, and heroic deeds told over and over in the banquet hall fashion of ancient viking tradition. But nay, narry a care, not a wit, nor even an ounce of dignity would matter when courting a lady in my experience. Tis but one thing. Show her your true self and make sure she thinks she has the key to it.
____________
Roses Are RedAnd So Am I

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Svarog
Svarog


Honorable
Supreme Hero
statue-loving necrophiliac
posted December 07, 2004 02:22 AM

Nothing that others already hadnt said, but anyway

What is it about “nice” anyway?
I hate nice.
Nice, pleasant and polite, the three evils of conformism, the biggest enemies of individualism. A nice guy doesn’t have the guts to stand behind what he believes. A nice guy always turns the other cheek. A nice guy doesn’t know what he wants and doesn’t dare to go after it. A nice guy is so predictable; you always know when he’d smile, apologize, approve... Of course, my interpretation of this word is a rape of its true ethimological meaning, but nowdays its conotative meaning is almost equivalent to what I said.

It’s the same about “nice girls”.
Why do always guys say they want self-confident girls? It’s the diplomatic way of saying. I’m sick of all you, nice girls, who just sit there “properly” (another word I hate), shy and approving of anything I say, without raising the voice…
And ask yourselfs, why Angelina Jolie (mmm, Jolie….) always ends top on polls regarding guys’ erotic fantasies.

But most importantly, whatever the standard for “most wanted man in bed” is, always be the man you truly are. If you follow that, there’s no chance you’d end up “nice” in the sense that I described. If you don’t, most probably you will.
____________
The meek shall inherit the earth, but NOT its mineral rights.

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IYY
IYY


Responsible
Supreme Hero
REDACTED
posted December 07, 2004 06:32 PM

Quote:

It’s the same about “nice girls”.
Why do always guys say they want self-confident girls? It’s the diplomatic way of saying. I’m sick of all you, nice girls, who just sit there “properly” (another word I hate), shy and approving of anything I say, without raising the voice…



Don't know about you, but I haven't seen many of these girls around. 21st century girls approving of anything that men say, that's a new one.
____________

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Lews_Therin
Lews_Therin


Promising
Famous Hero
posted December 07, 2004 08:38 PM

Quote:
What is it about “nice” anyway?
I hate nice.
Nice, pleasant and polite, the three evils of conformism, the biggest enemies of individualism. A nice guy doesn’t have the guts to stand behind what he believes. A nice guy always turns the other cheek.


Well, that´s a nice listing of clichés for sure. As far as I am concerned, "manly" tough-guy pack behaviour is not exactly individualist and non-conformistic.

From my personal experience I can tell that you can be a very nice person in how you are, and still quite honest and clear in what you say. Also, my being nice very quickly ends when a certain level of dislike is reached.

Regarding girls and women, there´s a difference between quantity and quality of relationships. It´s certainly nice to have a large number of girls in bed , but I believe that having long relationship turn into life-time friendships when they break isn´t that bad either.
____________

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Svarog
Svarog


Honorable
Supreme Hero
statue-loving necrophiliac
posted December 08, 2004 12:52 AM

IYY and Lews, dont interpret me that literally, guys. And I did mention I altered "a bit" the meaning of nice, because "nice" is by definition positive. Naturally, I'm all about positive. But as I am by definition a rebel, the meaning of the word had to evolve a little, just so I visualize my target clearly. Which is not to say, I object true "niceness" (heck, even I'm nice ), but I strongly object the type of niceness I described up there. hope that (doesnt) make sense.

(sometimes, i act sharp, in order to provoke reactions; and u gotta admit, getting Lews to write a post after a month of fasting is some success )
____________
The meek shall inherit the earth, but NOT its mineral rights.

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Lews_Therin
Lews_Therin


Promising
Famous Hero
posted December 08, 2004 04:01 AM

Not quite a month, I think I wrote my last posting not much more than a week ago .

If you´re talking about your personal reception of the word "nice", then there´s probably nothing for me to disagree about. I can only say that I do not encounter this kind of niceness, which goes along with weak personality and spinelessness, very often in real life.
____________

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Svarog
Svarog


Honorable
Supreme Hero
statue-loving necrophiliac
posted December 08, 2004 04:06 AM

Oddly enough, I see them everyday. Everywhere.
____________
The meek shall inherit the earth, but NOT its mineral rights.

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IYY
IYY


Responsible
Supreme Hero
REDACTED
posted December 08, 2004 05:08 AM

Every day? Are you sure you live in Eastern Europe and not, say, the North Pole, making toys for santa along with all the little elfs?
____________

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