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Heroes Community > Other Side of the Monitor > Thread: North Dakota - war?
Thread: North Dakota - war?
bort
bort


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
posted January 28, 2003 04:58 AM

North Dakota - war?

Consider the evidence:

1.  Have you ever met anybody from North Dakota?
Of course not, because nobody actually lives in North Dakota.

2.  Does North Dakota have power in the government?

Yes.  It has 2 senators as well as a representative in the house.

3.  Does this mean that a secret, conspiratorial cabal invented North Dakota to gain excess power in the US government?

I think it's pretty obvious that it does.  Clearly, we have no choice but to bomb the hell out of North Dakota, then send in special forces to hunt down the people who are behind this and bring them to justice.

Personally, I suspect that Corey Feldman is behind this.

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Oldtimer
Oldtimer


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
posted January 30, 2003 01:07 AM
Edited By: Oldtimer on 29 Jan 2003

Although North Dakota is a wasteland, it does serve it's purpose as a buffer between Canada and South Dakota.  Those warmongering fools in the south wouldn't be able to help from attacking the backwards people of Canuckland.  As a resident of a state that actually borders the Great White North, I know how hard it is to not grab up the nearest gun and punish that burr in the Ass of America.  So let's leave North Dakota alone, for now, for the sake of the children.

P.S. I think they have Nukes.
____________
<PLEASE DO NOT WAKE THE OLD MAN!>

"Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz..."

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LichKing
LichKing


Honorable
Known Hero
posted January 30, 2003 01:42 AM

Hovelville, the home of the peasant-rappers, is in North Dakota.

We all know what kind of grief they've given me through the ages.

I also strongly suspect that it's the homeland of a certain tribe of Butterscotch syrup packing murderous elves, but have no clear proof to support my theory as of now.

Knuckles is deep undercover working on this for me, though, and I'll know more soon enough
____________
SOUND THE CHARGE!!  INTO GLORY RIDE!!!

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bort
bort


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
posted January 30, 2003 03:37 PM

Fool!  The Coreys created Canada as well to serve as an excuse for the existence of North Dakota!  They took a bunch of mooses (meese?  moosi?) taught them how to say "eh?" and built a factory in Mexico to make Molson "beer" (actually a form of mind control drug).  That way, when people go, "why do we need this so called 'North' Dakota" people respond "to serve as a buffer state against 'Canada'"

Lousy Coreys.

While it is tempting the suspect North Dakota as the headquarters of the butterscotch elves, the butterscotch elves, like all elves are actually a kind of mushroom which is indemic throughout all of North America.  This explains why underpants are the most butterscotchy immediately after a rainstorm.

Interestingly, the butterscotch elves have many similarities to the Nutella elves of Europe.  This has led some to make the wild claim that they share a common ancestor and that millions of years ago, all the continents of the Earth were fused together as one.  This theory has been supported by the recent discovery of the Vietnamese Fish Sauce Pixie in south east asia, but, since the Earth is only 227 years old, this is self evident drivel.

Of course, they may all be mushrooms, but if you hang out with them, you realize that they're actually fungis.  (sorry, couldn't resist that one...)

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bort
bort


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
posted February 05, 2003 02:33 AM

I demand royalties!

http://www.theonion.com/onion3904/north_dakota.html

You will note that the date on the article is February 5th, long after I first raised this important issue.

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HeyYou
HeyYou


Known Hero
and beloved food provider.
posted February 20, 2003 05:12 AM

North Dakota ...

The real reason North Dakota exists is to act as a counterpart to South Dakota. I mean, really, you can't have a South Dakota without a North Dakota, right?

The whole "buffer between us and Canada" myth was actually an idea stolen from the minions of Montana. Montanians needed an excuse for having a town named "Elksnort" (yes, there is such a town), and they figured they had enough forestland to hide enough elves to hold back the overpowering Canadian armed forces (or something to that effect).

Strangely, North and South Carolina are completely unrelated, and were named that way totally coincidentally.
____________
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
~ Hanlon's Razor

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Dingo
Dingo


Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
posted January 23, 2004 08:05 AM

Quote:
The real reason North Dakota exists is to act as a counterpart to South Dakota. I mean, really, you can't have a South Dakota without a North Dakota, right?


It makes sense.
____________
The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.

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Consis
Consis


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
posted January 23, 2004 08:13 AM

Holy Cow This Thread Is Killer!

Oh my god where do you guys come with this stuff?! ROFLMAO! Fish sauce pixie? LOL! Cory Feldman? LOL! I can't stop laughing!

Thanks for the laughs. This ranks right up there with the picture that RMS posted for the member that asked if Boo was a monkey.

Under the closeup of the intergalactic space hamster he says: "Does that look like a monkey to you?"
____________
Roses Are RedAnd So Am I

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bort
bort


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
posted January 23, 2004 02:19 PM

The Butterscotch elves/Fish Sauce Pixies was a reference to this thread.  

I don't know how I came up with it there, either.
____________
Drive by posting.

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redhawk
redhawk


Known Hero
Gaurdian Supreme
posted February 01, 2004 09:53 AM

I thought it was pixies in fish sauce. tastes like chicken.
____________
It's better to burn out, Than fade away !!!!!!!!

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Elfis_butter...
Elfis_butterscotch_elf

Tavern Dweller
Leader-Butterscotch Brigade
posted February 01, 2004 08:19 PM

[Interestingly, the butterscotch elves have many similarities to the Nutella elves of Europe. This has led some to make the wild claim that they share a common ancestor and that millions of years ago, all the continents of the Earth were fused together as one. This theory has been supported by the recent discovery of the Vietnamese Fish Sauce Pixie in south east asia, but, since the Earth is only 227 years old, this is self evident drivel.]

Actually my great grandmother was a fish sauce pixie and my great grandfather was  a nutella elf. I also have a cousin that is half nutella.


____________
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then riddle them with arrows- Elfis the Butterscotch Elf

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redhawk
redhawk


Known Hero
Gaurdian Supreme
posted February 01, 2004 09:04 PM

Sorry about the tastes like chicken thing, I would never eat anyones grandma, at least not when i'm sober, Honestly.
____________
It's better to burn out, Than fade away !!!!!!!!

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Peacemaker
Peacemaker


Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
posted February 01, 2004 09:32 PM

You hoo, mods.  I vote that practically every one of these posts deserves a qp.  At the very least, bort does for beginning the thread.  How ever did it get by you the first time?!?!?!

____________
I have menopause and a handgun.  Any questions?

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Dingo
Dingo


Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
posted February 01, 2004 09:58 PM

Everybody who you think needs a Qp actually doesn't, each of them has at least 8.
____________
The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.

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redhawk
redhawk


Known Hero
Gaurdian Supreme
posted February 02, 2004 03:20 AM

peacemaker and dingo, you to are just too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do you like my new little friend, butterscotch elves are kinda cool when you get to know them

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