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| Thread: 50 ways to have fun at walmart | |
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2XtremeTotake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted June 21, 2003 02:40 PM |
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50 ways to have fun at walmart
* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
* Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in.
* Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell, ''I need some tampons!!''
* Try on bras over top of your clothes.
* Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
* While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible ''Sex and Candy''
* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
* Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to ''10.''
* Play with the automatic doors.
* Walk up to complete strangers and say, ''Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!...'' etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
* While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, ''Who BUYS this snow, anyway?''
* Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
* Put pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
* Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
*. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
* As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, ''Wow. Magic!''
* Put M&M's on layaway.
* Move ''Caution: Wet Floor'' signs to carpeted areas.
* Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
* Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
* Nonchalantly ''test'' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
* Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,''...I'm Batman. Come, Robin -- to the Batcave!"
* TP as much of the store as possible.
* Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
* Play with the calculators so that they all spell ''hello'' upside down. (01134)
* When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
* When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, ''Red Rover!''
* Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
* Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
* Take bets on the battle described above.
* Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
* While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
* While no one's watching, quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
* Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ''Mission: Impossible.'
* Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
* Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
* Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
* Set up a ''Valet Parking'' sign in front of the store.
* Two words: ''Marco Polo.'
* Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
* ''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics.
* In the auto department, practice your ''Madonna'' look with various funnels. * Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like ''the fat man walks alone,'' and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
* While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying ''How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won.'' Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
* When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, ''No, no! It's those voices again!''
* Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
* Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
* Get a stuffed animal, go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying ''Good girl, good Bessie."
* Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
* When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
* Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
* Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
* Test the fishing rods and see what you can ''catch'' from the other aisles.
* In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with a girl and start flirting with him as ditisily as possible: ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).'' When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).''
* Hold indoor shopping cart races.
* Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
* When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially through narrow aisles. * Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
* Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. * Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
* Say things like, ''Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?''
* Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., ''Do you have any Shnerples here?''
* Ride a display bicycle through the store -- claim you're taking it for a ''test drive.''
* Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
* Get boxes of condoms and randomly slip them into peoples' carts when they aren't paying attention.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Dread_Knight
Known Hero
Converting Vegetarians
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posted June 25, 2003 04:01 PM |
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noughty, noughty boy....
ROFLMAO!
Respect, mate, Respect...
Only here in Israel we have a thing called: "security Camera"
And all the cool stuff won't work ;(
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Draco
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted June 25, 2003 04:52 PM |
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sure thell catch you, but all thell do is kick you out, they cant possibly ban you? or charge you, maybe for stealing, and tp'ing but thats about it. it is all about getting a reaction from people. its funny  i would try some of that stuff but Walmart isnt all that big out here, and there even planning on closing them all down in manitoba (canada).
maybe on the last day ill do it all! yay. to bad no guns here.
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Fire_Dragon
Adventuring Hero
King of Dragons
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posted June 26, 2003 11:10 AM |
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If only I can find a way to sneak into the
control room and shut down the security
cameras, I can be the baddest walmart boy in the
world!
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The King of Dragons emerge from its lair to seek vengence upon its throne of Fire.
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted July 29, 2003 09:09 PM |
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Naaaaaa, this is much more funny. After seeing this, my respect for 2X has been raised a point.
I've seen somthing similer to this list but it's funny every time I see it.
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Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Kujo
Known Hero
who loves to script.
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posted July 29, 2003 10:35 PM |
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More than 50 way to get rid of a blind date
At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it.
Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table.
Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.
Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.
Repeat every third third word you say say.
Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" for your high school yearbook.
Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date.
Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth audibly.
Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they are talking about.
Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.
Order a bucket of lard.
Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths.
Howl and whistle at womens' legs, especially if you are female.
Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets.
Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about themselves.
Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme.
When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.
Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.
Drool.
Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.
Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you.
Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her "What in the hell took you so long in the restroom?!?"
Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.
Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.
Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up.
Ask your date how much money they have with them.
Order for your date. Order something nasty.
Communicate in mime the entire evening.
Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, where you have a you have a good view of all exits, and where you can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.
Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs.
Hum. Loudly. In monotone.
Fill your pockets with sugar packets, as well as salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements... i.e anything on the table that isn't bolted down.
Hold a debate. Take both sides.
Undress your date verbally. Use a bullhorn.
Auction your date off for silverware.
Slide under the table. Take your plate with you.
Order a baked potato for a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato for you, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal.
Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons or comments.
Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy. Get it on tape, and use good judgement in editing to twist their words around.
Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience.
Speak in pig latin throughout the meal (Or ubber-dubber language, or just nonsense).
Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Insist that they just need airing out.
If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite.
Bring 20 or so candles with you, and during the meal get up and arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant.
Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you're taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother, because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.
Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.
Take a thermos along, and hide it under the table. Order ccoffee, and fill the thermos one cup at a time, taking advantage of the free refills.
Insist that the waiter cuts your food into little pieces. In a simliar vein, insist that he take a bite of everything on the plate, to make sure no one poisoned it.
Accuse your date of espionage.
Make odd allusions to dangerous religious cults.
Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.
Pass the hat in the restaurant. Use the proceeds (if any) to pay the bill.
Break wind loudly. Add color commentary. Bow.
Feed imaginary friends, or toy dolls you've brought along.
Bring a bucket along. Explain that you frequently get ill.
this is another quite amusing list get more at www.ehumorcentral.com
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guten tag
du bist schwul.
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted July 30, 2003 12:24 AM |
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This one is funny
Top 20 things to do while in a drive thru
=========================================
1.Drive through the drive thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2.Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did
not ask the price for.
3.Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with
your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food
through the window.
4.Go to McDonalds and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a
fight.
5.Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.
6.Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you are in.
7.When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window
shopping and drive on.
8.Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
9.Ask how they fit into that little box.
10.If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.
11.Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you
did not like the way the employee said "May I take your order?"
12.When asked if they can take your order say "No, why can't I take
yours?"
13.If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell
at you.
14.Pretend like your car broke down. Ask for assistance in moving it.
When they come out, drive away.
15.Tell them you have to use the bathroom.
16.Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.
17.Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind
you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
18.When they hand you your food, hand them a bag back with all the trash
from your car in it.
19.Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your
stare.
20.Honk your horn the whole way through the line.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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soccerfeva
Disgraceful
Famous Hero
banned
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posted August 06, 2003 04:39 PM |
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Some more insane things to do thought up by soccerfeva
*When there are lots of taxis,wave for one. Then,as the one approaches you,move forward towards another taxi,as if hoping to go on board another taxi.
When both taxis stop.walk away.Or if there are more taxis ahead,continue waving.
Taxis=Cabs
*Close toilets' lights when your friends are doing their business.Expecially at night.I've got it in the past.
THIS SPACE WILL BE FILLED UP WHEN soccerfeva returns with more cranky pranky ideas.
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soccerfeva
Disgraceful
Famous Hero
banned
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posted August 08, 2003 03:42 PM |
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Some more insane things to do thought up by soccerfeva
*When there are lots of taxis,wave for one. Then,as the one approaches you,move forward towards another taxi,as if hoping to go on board another taxi.
When both taxis stop.walk away.Or if there are more taxis ahead,continue waving.
Taxis=Cabs
*Close toilets' lights when your friends are doing their business.Expecially at night.I've got it in the past.
*A high pitch ringtone should do the trick here.Up the volume to lv 5(highest) and put the phone near your friend's ear when he least expects it.Expect your friend to jump.Switch ears. You can be surprised how irritating it gets-I got it while sitting on the bus.
*When on HC,and feeling bored,Instant Message yourself.Sounds insane,but it's quite fun.
*SMS yourself.
*Call yourself with one phone,pick up another phone and start talking.
*Talk to yourself in public places.Loudly.
*Do push ups,sit ups,jumping jacks in public places/formal situations.
*Stage a fight with your friend.Pretend to be very angry and then start to 'fake' the fight.Finish off with a hug.
*Create one hot topic thread.Then when it reaches 1300,delete it.
*Gel pubic hair-*laughing*
*Style pubic hair.
*Dye pubic hair.
*Shave off pubic hair-may get itchy,but after shaving off many times the itch will be gone.
THis space will be filled up when me returns with more ideas.Stay glued to this screen.I'll be right back within 48 hours 480 minutes and 4800 seconds. 
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BountyHunter97
Famous Hero
King of all that is Chicken
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posted August 08, 2003 06:19 PM |
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have u guys ever tried going 2 safeway, then where they have a scoop where u put candy inside, put 1 jellybean and tried and buy it?
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a_rebirthing...
Supreme Hero
with rebirthing power
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posted July 13, 2005 09:44 AM |
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ahhhhh, man. that was a good laugh. good stuff all
just thought i would revive this thread to let others see it.
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'Tis better to rely on the the wit of your brain rather than the speed of your hands and mouse -me
Being happy isn't just an emotion, it's a choice!-Leo_Lion
It's Gortex!!!
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DarkTitan
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted July 14, 2005 02:10 PM |
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lol gud 1...
i liked some of the ideas lol they were alrite.. bt i have a job at a big store which is the aussie version of walmart, and i can tell u we aint no pushovers lol..
half the stuff on ur list ud get kicked out of the store just for thinking it.. such as riding a bike around, this is where i mainly work around, sporting and toys, and i love calling security down and getting the little s**** thrown out of the store, makes me feel tough.. bt itd be kewl just to try some of that stuff, even tho ud probly be banned for life, lol
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a_rebirthing...
Supreme Hero
with rebirthing power
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posted July 14, 2005 02:54 PM |
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i would really like to do this prank. go to Big W, its a department store, and get a toy. then go to the section where there are more elderly ppl and ask them "how much is this" and see what they say. also ask staff at other side of store. man i would really like to do that but i couldnt keep a straight face
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'Tis better to rely on the the wit of your brain rather than the speed of your hands and mouse -me
Being happy isn't just an emotion, it's a choice!-Leo_Lion
It's Gortex!!!
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DarkTitan
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted July 15, 2005 11:04 AM |
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its called a price scan ppl do it all the time..
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a_rebirthing...
Supreme Hero
with rebirthing power
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posted July 15, 2005 11:05 AM |
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no u are meant to ask ordinary ppl
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'Tis better to rely on the the wit of your brain rather than the speed of your hands and mouse -me
Being happy isn't just an emotion, it's a choice!-Leo_Lion
It's Gortex!!!
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DarkTitan
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted July 15, 2005 11:11 AM |
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ah ok i see wot u mean.. i thought u ment staff, becoz that is wot they are trained for..
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Saruman
Famous Hero
On academic leave
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posted July 15, 2005 11:51 PM |
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ROFL
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Thank god I'm an atheist.
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted July 16, 2005 02:50 PM |
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I think I've seen thid before, on this very forum.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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VaRuAs
Famous Hero
Only The Chosen Will Survive
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posted July 16, 2005 02:54 PM |
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Which 3rd one are you taking about Trogdork.
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Quote
Aculias: WHy did Minnie Mouse break up with Mickey?
Because he was F^%$^$g Goofey.
quote
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