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| Thread: Current Thingies!@... What is this thread? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted September 02, 2005 11:36 PM |
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(hihihi.... she fell for it!!! I guess Val let's ANYONE be a mod... she never even noticed I switched clothes with BOB!!! 
now he's free like he wanted and I've got my own listening post in the modsquad headquarters!!
... then my man on the inside let's me outta here and VOILA!! )
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"You went over my helmet??"
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pandora
Honorable
Legendary Hero
The Chosen One
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posted September 03, 2005 12:14 AM |
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*tiptoes upstairs to check on BoB*
Hey Bob, listen.. about earlier... *notices that Bob no longer has woodshavings stuck under his fingernails, and peers closer to take a better look*
Oh sweet merciful crap!!!! I am so screwed! *kicks Jebus in the ribs*
You have NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!!!!!! We're all doomed!! Alright, listen Jebus, you do NOT move! You do not even wriggle, when Valeriy comes in... and he will, you pretend to sleep. I should warn you too, when Valeriy comes in, you might not like it...But for the love of all things holy, don't let on that you're not Bob! Why on earth did you do this?! Did you think you could hear what we talk about? You fool... the room is soundproofed. *sobs* You'll be the ruin of us all if I can't find him and switch you back... In the meantime, you just lie here and .. I dunno.. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID MISTER!! Oh nooo....this is bad, this is soooo bad!
*runs out crying*
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
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Valeriy
Mage of the Land
Naughty, Naughty Valeriy
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posted September 03, 2005 03:08 AM |
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Meanwhile
*Valeriy is walking along the HQ corridors, nibbling on a vegan donut, obviously submerged in thought*
*begins thinking aloud, as people do for some reason*
Perhaps sometimes fear can take the best of us, make us act like we otherways wouldn't.
...
Forgiveness is the key they say... but what do they know?! One must forgive, but he must not be stupid. The future is ahead and we all have duties... Hey, that kinda rhymes! ...
But Bob... that Bob...
If only they knew... if only they knew the truth...
But can such things be told?
...
I still remember that day so clearly... the day when Bob...  WHAT THE?!?!
*suddenly the door on the left of Valeriy bursts open and pandora stumbles out in tears! Valeriy has to do his vanishing trick as it is obviously too late for stumbling pandora to change her trajectory. As pandora passes through where Valeriy was a second ago, he reappears*
*pandora turns around*
____________
You can wait for others to do it, but if they don't know how, you'll wait forever.
Be an example of what you want to see on HC and in the world.
http://www.heroesofmightandmagic.com
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2XtremeToTake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted September 03, 2005 03:21 AM |
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*meanwhile, in a land far far away, The Unholy One begins digging an underground tunnel to the mod squad*
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted September 03, 2005 05:49 AM |
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(to himself)
wow... that was unexpected... I was sure I'd get to bribe her or something... oh well, maybe Ill just have to spill the beens to Val if he asks me... then maybe "I" Darth Jebus will take my place at the emperor's side....
... it is my.... destiny.
(turns on walkman playing the empirial march)
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"You went over my helmet??"
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pandora
Honorable
Legendary Hero
The Chosen One
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posted September 04, 2005 12:40 AM |
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I open the door and nearly run smack into Valeriy could I be any more unlucky today?! So I try to wipe away my tears, and slow my heart which at the moment is feeling like its about to jump right out of my chest.alright pan, think fast....if I mess this up it's ropeburn and stale donuts with bats for me
"Valeriy! Just the person I was looking for...I was just talking to Bob, he's a really good listener you know, since he's all tied up and gagged and everything" I clear my throat nervously, not much liking the suspicious look I'm getting from Valeriy.
"I think though, that I'm better off talking to you. I mean, I've always valued your advice.. you really are the smartest admin we have. You see, lately I'm feeling like I'm just not doing enough to help you" I let my lower lip start to tremble, and my eyes fill up with tears. excellent, his expression is softening.. it's working!
"Walk with me?" I ask, leading him away from the attic. He takes a quick glace back at the door, and then turns to walk with me *whew!*
"You see Valeriy, I watch you ruling HC with such great wisdom, and of course that really big staff of yours... and I ask myself, how can I be more like him? I mean, you always know just what to do - and you're soooo strong. And me, I'm always second guessing myself, worrying that I've done the wrong thing.. or I haven't done enough"
okay, now we're out of modsquad... mission accomplished ... or is it? I notice a group of people have gathered around someone in the VW could it be Bob?
"You see Valeriy, I think that maybe I've messed up some things in the tavern... do you think you could just check it out for me? It would really really help me out, to see how someone with your amazing wisdom would handle things"
Valeriy seems baffled by the huge amounts of flattery I've just heaped on him, maybe I went a bit too far...But then again, he is smiling and blushing a little yes!
"Uhm, sure Pan.. I'll take a look, did you want to follow me so that you can watch me work?" he asks
"Oh no... I'd only just get in the way, and besides I'm sure you don't want me hanging around you all night - I'd just slow you down, I'll come back in a little bit to see what you've done. In the meantime, I'll just go and clean up the Wastelands a little bit... nothing interesting there, certainly not worth your time! Be back soon"
I smile at Valeriy, and rush off to see what's happening in the VW before he has a chance to reply.
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
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Valeriy
Mage of the Land
Naughty, Naughty Valeriy
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posted September 04, 2005 01:14 AM |
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*teleports to Tavern, looks around*
Hmmm... seems reasonably tidy in here. I think the shadow man is a good addition to this division. Wonder what Pandora was on about?
*walks around*
No broken bottles, people are not drunk. All nice and civil...
Pandora has been very strange lately. One moment she's in tears, another she's flattering me like a steamroller. I have seen her around Bob's room rather often...
Could she be smarter than she looks? ... Could she suspect the truth? Perhaps the day is coming when this truth will have to be told.
But how will they react to knowing that Bob is the ... WHAT THE?!?! Who threw that bottle? And who may you be nuclear_power? This is no place to spam, off you go to the wastelands. Don't make me be nice and escort you. Show your real face for a change.
Geesh... anyhow, where was I? Yes, I better go check up on Bob, all this is starting to worry me. But haste makes waste, so I'll take a conventional walk so I can think about things.
*walks of via the long scenic route towards HQ*
____________
You can wait for others to do it, but if they don't know how, you'll wait forever.
Be an example of what you want to see on HC and in the world.
http://www.heroesofmightandmagic.com
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2XtremeToTake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted September 04, 2005 01:32 AM |
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*thinking he is digging upwards into the mod squad, he tunels upwards exciedtly, and when he reaches the surface he notices Valeriy*
This could be interesting
*Walks up to Val, eating a nice juicy steak*
"Wan some? Its good and juicy, right off the cow"
"How dare you! Im a vegetarian!"
"oh, sorry"
*tackles Val and kidnaps him*
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted September 04, 2005 05:58 AM |
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(meanwhile back in the attic)
"ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottlres of beer...
god i hate this song....
once I get outta hear my first mission is to force choke
mr. niceguy...
what was that??
feels like.... hmmm..... something's not right."
____________
"You went over my helmet??"
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pandora
Honorable
Legendary Hero
The Chosen One
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posted September 04, 2005 06:56 PM |
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*looks around, breathes a sigh of relief to see that Valeriy is long gone*
Okay... now to deal with Jebus up in the attic. Hmm, well we can't really leave him up there.  I know! I'll just get one of the clones and put him up there to make the switch... Yes! That's it, I rock! Who knew that the clones could ever serve a purpose.
*grabs a nearby clone and stuffs him in her magic bag*
Okay, now off to the attic. *teleports to modsquad and climbs the attic stairs, is met with teh sound of Jebus's mournful singing*
Egads man, stick with the jokes and leave the singing to someone... anyone else.
*ties up the clone and slaps some duct tape over his mouth*
Hmmm, thought I'd feel a bit more guilty, but it's just a clone.. no real soul anyways  Okay Jebus, lets go
*unties jebus quickly*
Alright, now I hope I don't have to tell you to keep your mouth shut. Things can get really bad for you if you don't, I have powers you haven't even seen yet. To make up for the trouble you've caused, you're going to have to help me with Bob - got it?
Jebus nods quickly.
Good, let's go to the tavern *teleports them both out*
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
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Shadowcaster
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Shaded Scribe
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posted September 04, 2005 11:39 PM |
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Stepping warily through the gate, the shadow mage looked around the HQ for any sign of mods who were on the clock.
"Hello?"
No response. Shadowcaster relaxed.
"Good, no one's here."
Deftly sneaking into the attic, noticing Bob and...no Jebus. Must have been that Pandora, he thought, she's always opening things she isn't supposed to. He smirked at his little joke, then turned away from the writhing bag and reached up into the rafters, pulling down a heavy bat.
"Today was a very frustrating day," he said, taking the bat and holding it above his head. "You should prove useful."
The other mods didn't know it, but the shadow mage watched them all at one time or another. They usually stayed in one forum while in the community, leaving only to head off to HQ for a quick chat with other moderators. Except for one: that Pandora. She was everywhere.
Shadowcaster had always acted friendly toward that Pandora and buddied up to the other mods and the admin who walked free, but the shadow mage had a hidden agenda that was known only to Bob. He would have to thank RSF later for getting him in here in the first place, but not even he knew what was up Shadowcaster's sleeves. It all had to do with Bob.
The other one, as he was called, was a great asset to the shadow mage, as it was the key to dethroning that Pandora, a name he always preceded by 'that' simply because it was downright mean, and he secretly reveled in all things mean. She was Val's favorite.
That Pandora always got the best donuts and the best nappy-time room in the entire squad, next to Val, of course. But when Bob disappeared, that would all change. Those donuts were as good as his.
Footsteps rang down the hall, and Shadowcaster ducked into the shadows as the door to the attic clanked open.
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>_>
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted September 05, 2005 12:49 AM |
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(man this chick can really ramble on....
ok something about going with her... yady yady ya... bob...
big powers....)
"sure PAn Ill help you, oh I know you're ALL powerfull and I wouldn't want to upset you... let's find bob together."
( )
(Val... here me!!...... VAL, she's here.... look what she's trying to do behind your back... see through my eyes! Come, strike her down and I will take my rightfull place by your side.... together we can once again put fear in the hearts of the spammers... you know she's weak... and now, she's trying to betray you!)
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"You went over my helmet??"
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2XtremeToTake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted September 05, 2005 01:11 AM |
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Valeriy is currently in my possession, i am keeping him in a butchery, where he will either eat the raw meat, or die.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Valeriy
Mage of the Land
Naughty, Naughty Valeriy
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posted September 05, 2005 02:57 AM |
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*Valeriy is walking along slowly, taking the long route to HQ and thinking aloud*
People never quite understand what it's like to have great powers... They think it's so great and life is fun. Not quite. With great power comes great responsibility. Any selfishness can only bring short-term gains, and will inevitably result in long-term loss...
It's not all fun being the big turban. People conspire behind your back, people act fakely to attain your liking. You can't even tell whether someone actually likes you for you or whether they are just awed by your powers... It is very lonely.
And how this came to be is trully disturbing... In the very begining, Bob was ... WHAT THE?!?!
*Valeriy feels the ground underneath beginning to shake*
Ahh, that's Lord Xtreme. I got no time for these distractions.
*Creates the mirror-image escape dummy and teleports 100 metres ahead*
This should keep him busy for a while. Hehehe  Amusing power-hungry lad
Interesting, every time I am about to think aloud about the big untold secret someone always interrupts me. I guess it's a sign that some truth is best forgotten.
Now, where was I... yes. Pandora... I sense disturbance in the force! Darn, no, I've heard that one somewhere already... How to put it... The air smells of mischief, and I read several mass teleportations with her signature. Wasn't she going to wait for me to inspect the Tavern? And the Tavern was perfectly peaceful...
I knew it.
*Waves the wand, dispersing Pandora's teleportation ability*
*Teleports to HQ immediately and enters the attic*
Bob seems in place, but I sense another presence.
*Quickly turns to face the corner and casts illumination*
*Gazes for a second at stunned Shadowcaster who is standing in the corner holding his big bat high up in the air*
Oh! Wait... how did you know that?
*Shadowcaster is completely shocked. Could this be the end?*
*"stay calm" Shadowcaster says to himself and squeezes out a terrified "know what?"*
That I was going to ask you to guard Bob for me! You know, that is quite amazing, I've only thought of asking you to do that a minute ago, and here you are on duty already, armed and dangerous! That's the kind of man I want. Someone who can be trusted, and acts fast without needing to be told what to do all the time.
*Shadowcaster can barely move his mouth, "I... I... Yes..."*
That's the spirit. Hehe pun intended, brother The thing is, Pandora has been acting strangely lately, and I fear for Bob's safety. You must not leave Bob alone and keep your watchful eye on him at all times. And I will sort out what that Pandora is up to.
*Shadowcaster couldn't restrain his evil grin the moment he heard that "that Pandora" is finally in danger of losing her standing with the mage. His face conveyed a strange expression of fear, shock, relief and evil gladness which is very hard to describe.*
*"Yes Valeriy, I always thought that Pandora is up to something very evil! I feared she's been using her charms to fool you but I was too afraid to speak, I thought you may rebuke me if her hold on you is too strong"*
So, what do you know about her Shadowcaster? *points at the bat Shadowcaster is still holding raised up in the air* You may put that bat down for now while I am here.
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You can wait for others to do it, but if they don't know how, you'll wait forever.
Be an example of what you want to see on HC and in the world.
http://www.heroesofmightandmagic.com
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Shadowcaster
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Shaded Scribe
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posted September 05, 2005 03:54 AM |
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The shadow mage looked behind Val and saw the bag rolling slowly to the door, but, just before the blind prisoner could escape, it slammed shut in his face. Shadowcaster chuckled nervously and dropped his bat to the floor. Now was his chance.
"Uh...well," he began slowly, clearing his throat, "she did tell the Tavern what we said about RSF in the squad. Maybe she's a spy?"
The Mage of the Land seemed to ponder this.
"...and I once caught her taking a box of donuts into the attic," he added, trying to helpful as possible. That was all he really had on her. That Pandora, she was a saint.
And that was why she needed to go.
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>_>
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted September 05, 2005 04:42 AM |
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(Val.... hear me...... I can't convince her forever...
HEAR ME!! It looks like we're heading to the vw but I can't be sure... she's lied to me once..but now demands my help.... come to us and I will show you were my loyalties lie.... I will take my place at your side...even if it means.....)
"So Pan, who IS this Bob dude... and why is it such a big deal that he got out?"
(have to keep her occupied unitl Val comes..)
____________
"You went over my helmet??"
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Lord_Pc
Promising
Famous Hero
Groin-Grabingly Clever
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posted September 05, 2005 05:54 AM |
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*after leaving Bob watching the simpsons, Pc went to go get something hot for Bob to eat. on his way to the tavern Pc noticed 2X kidnapping Val but knows that Val can get out of it so Pc walks on*
*Pc then remembered Pans words "everything will be okay soon". something wasnt right. Bob suddenly appearing, jebus suddenly disapearing, 2X trying to kidnap Val and Pans unusual behaviour. they all seemed to be linked somehow, but how?*
*Pc decided to go to mod HQ attic to find some clues to what was going on. after entering in the shadows he heard someone. shadowcaster perhaps, they spoke the words "You should prove useful".*
*then another entered and talked, it was Val. Pc listened to thier conversation. after they stopped Pc left the attic, got some hot food for Bob. hopefully Pc could find Pan soon to inform her of Val and shadowcasters changing attitude toward her. Pc then started to head for the VW*
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Da-da-dada-HEY-dada-da-da
Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, 'You man the guns, I'll drive.'
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2XtremeToTake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted September 05, 2005 07:34 AM |
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2Xtreme goes down to the basement to see how his admin is doing.
"So, foolish mage, how are you enjoying your meaty companions?"
No response was received. Suddenly, Valeriy poofed, leaving behind a cloud
"Foolish conjurer of cheap tricks! I shall outsmart you once and for all! And then, only then shall i gain access to the fabled modsquad!!!"
2Xtreme rushed up to his research desk and began doing research. Moderators like donuts, that was a known fact. Logically, they had to BUY their donuts from elsewhere, as all of the moderators were extremly lazy, thus unable to make their own. Of course, as moderators they would always get the finest, most delicious donuts in existance.
"yes...i know now!"
There were 3 5 star bakeries in the area, and one of them had to supply mod squad donuts. But he could not be sure which was which. They were all the same, and it was possible they alternated between bakeries, in order to confuse people even more. But 2Xtreme was too smart for that. He burned two of the 3 bakeries down, reducing the building and their donuts to cinders. There was one left.
As he approached the glorious donut shop, he saw a man leaving with two boxes of donuts. He quickly intercepted him.
"say there, where are you going with those donuts?"
"Oh, I don't know. All i know is we have a very important customer, he is a Psychic Elemental, who is very fond of donuts. Him and his lackeys. I can hear them laughing at me as i drop the donuts off...zzzz"
The delivery boy falls asleep, after I render him unconscious painlessly. I take the box of donuts and can smell their freshness. Quickly, pulling out a small needle, i inject each and every one of the donuts with a mind controlling serum. Closing and sealing the box back up, i awake the delivery boy and vanish.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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pandora
Honorable
Legendary Hero
The Chosen One
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posted September 06, 2005 09:00 PM |
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I sat down a minute, resting my chin against my hands thoughtfully as I often do and regarded Jebus intently.
Clearly I've gone too far with the threats and the bravado, it always works for Valeriy... dumb move to try I guess, he's not buying. What the heck is he doing now anyways, judging by the strained look on his face I would guess that he's either trying to communicate with someone psychically - or he's pooping in his pants, jeeeezz... I hope he's not pooping
"Listen Jebus, I'm sorry for my tone earlier and for getting you thrown in the attic in the first place.. and well, I'm just sorry for all of it okay?" as I spoke to him, a chill ran through me so severe that I clasped my arms around myself tightly, looking from side to side to see what may have caused it. Seeing nothing, I resigned myself to the feeling of dread that was creeping over me. something is so very wrong
As I started to walk away, I heard Jebus say something to me - probably trying to stop me, but I didn't care, I was going to teleport to modsquad to get my robe and then go check in on Bob.
"What the??" I exclaimed, as I discovered my teleport did nothing. "Oh this is just great! I've got more ground to cover than anyone else and now I've got to freaking walk?!?"
Alright pan... just get a grip, and for the love of all things holy don't start crying now! Whatever is going on, i'll figure it out myself, it can't be that scary after all...
*Heads off to find Bob.*
____________
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted September 06, 2005 09:07 PM |
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(tries to catch up with Pandora)
PAN!!
sorry I was wrapped up in trying to figure out how we could fix this little misshap! You're sorry? ah no need... stuff happens... and hey! there are no hard feelings... let's just forget that and see where to go from here!! With your permission, i'd like to help you find Bob! ..and it looks like you're walking so maybe you could use some company!
(better keep her close so when Val finds me she'll be right where I need her...)
So! what's up with this bob anyways?
____________
"You went over my helmet??"
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