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| Thread: Judging people by their appearance |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
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posted August 04, 2003 03:42 PM |
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Judging people by their appearance
I was with a female coworker the other day walking to lunch and this female jogger runs by. The jogger is, well, thin and pretty. My coworker makes comments that basically boil down to :
1. I bet she thinks she's so wonderful
2. She must be really shallow putting so much effort into her appearance
3. I hate her
4. It's not all about looks.
Of course, by saying these things, my coworker was judging this jogger solely by her appearance but somehow the irony was lost on her. It seems to be a common theme. You're not supposed to dislike people because they're ugly or fat or akward but it's okay, sometimes even "cool" to dislike people because they're attractive.
I've lost track of how many times I've heard girls refer to other girls as "eating disorder girls" just because they happen to be thin and how many times I've heard guys (myself included, I'm not immune to this phenomenon) call other guys "pretty boys" disparagingly. Listen to the way people talk about the "obsessives" or the "freaks" or whatever at a gym. Yes, being fit and slim isn't everything, but being a fat slob watching old indie films on your couch doesn't make you a better person than somebody who is training for the marathon.
In fact, in a strange way, people seem to use the fact that they dislike attractive people as a way of showing how deep and enlightened they are. I'm not entirely clear how not asking somebody out because they're ugly is being any more shallow than assuming somebody is stupid or snowy or rude because they have a pretty face. Yes, beauty is only skin deep, but physical beauty doesn't preclude inner beauty. Also, just because somebody is ugly doesn't mean they've got a sparkling personality. As far as I can tell, beautiful people have the exact same chance of being a wonderful person as an ugly person does. I've known a lot of attractive people who are very nice, down to earth and intelligent and I've known a lot of "ugly" people who have the same qualities. I've also known a lot of people, ugly or attractive who are just real jerks. And I'm also very much aware of the phenomenon of people becoming prettier the longer you know them because to a certain level, personality can make people more physically appealing, but let's face it, personality does need something to work with for this to happen.
Of course, given the option, I'm sure most people would choose to be stunningly beautiful even if they did get resented by some people so it's probably something of a cry me a ****ing river sort of problem. This isn't to say that it's okay to dislike somebody because they're ugly, it's just interesting that it's okay to judge people for being too attractive but not okay to judge them for not being attractive enough.
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted August 04, 2003 04:04 PM |
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Jealousy and being negative is of course bad, and anyone who does it could become a better person if they stopped.
My experience is that beautiful people is usually better in every way. Because of:
1. Life treats them good because ppl are nice to them because the way they look.
2. They have enough self control to stay beautiful. Some fat ppl are fat because of nature, but some because of mental issues. If someone looks good, at least you know they dont have problems with self control.
3. Society likes them, so they fit in. They are less likely to be nuts.
4. I have a preferrence towards "hot chicks", and most of my Girlies have been slim and hot. Thats just the way I like em.
And finally 5. I believe that beung beautiful is something we create. The looks of a beutiful person probably signals talent, or some other good trait. This means that I trust my intuition when it tells me a beautiful person is intersting.
Im not saying all ugly ppl suck, but fact of the matter is, if 2 ppl are exactly the same except for looks, Im going to go with the prettier one.
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted August 04, 2003 05:51 PM |
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Quote:
And I'm also very much aware of the phenomenon of people becoming prettier the longer you know them because to a certain level, personality can make people more physically appealing, but let's face it, personality does need something to work with for this to happen.
That is soo true 
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted August 04, 2003 09:27 PM |
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A problem I have a lot is people assuming I'm stupid just because I'm a blonde britney type. But I don't see any reason to change my appearance because people can't deal with it!
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 Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
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rrrray
Tavern Dweller
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posted August 05, 2003 02:25 AM |
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In an ideal world, any generalization is wrong and is avoided. In the real world, generalizations are a necessary evil. I don't want to walk around with a sign detailing my life story, just so people who see me know all about me before judging me. The sad truth is, we don't have time to read a whole life story every time we see someone, and we don't have time to listen to them tell us their life story, either.
My ex didn't like calling me "her boyfriend" because people have a preconceived notion of what a "boyfriend" is. But come on, how much information about me does her dad's co-workers from out of state need to know, when I'm probably not going to see them again, anyway?
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RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
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posted August 05, 2003 02:50 AM |
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This reminds of something that my dad told me a while ago. I believe the reason that so many people make these generalizations is that often times people project them unintentionally. These are often true. The image you project is the image that people will see you. So you should use this to your advantage. If you want people to look like you are smart, then maybe wear glasses. I know plenty people who look good wearing glasses. One of the best looking girls in the school wear glasses and looks better wearing them.
If you want to look like a bad ass then you wear baggy jeans, a chain around your neck. Maybe have a couple tattoos.
And I think most people try to do this. A lot of people project this type of image of who they are. And this is why we naturally read into these things. I don't think it's bad to judge people like this, but I wouldn't start assuming someone is a jerk or a really nice person. But you could say that a person jogging enjoys athletics or is hard-working.
What's the first thing you think when you see a girl walk in wearing the skimpiest clothes and you can see... a lot. You usually think she's snowty.
Really this way of judging a person by their appearence is just a distortion of our subliminal messages to each other by shallowness or our own jealousy or lack of self-confidence.
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Go Red Sox!
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted August 05, 2003 03:01 AM |
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well it feels good to be grey tpye of person.
Because I'm the kind of people I you tell them I are. Your your doing the things you used to shouldn;t of been doing. and i told you many times to stop and listen but you turned your head around.
but now that your on your own, wise up to this hand of the world I'vee given to you 
Edit: Dont worry ppl im a proffesional. I know my imagination like it knows me. (ect ect)
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted August 05, 2003 03:50 AM |
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One on the few things Im not sure of, is if youre truly insane celfious, or just a really funny guy
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Kittenangel
Supreme Hero
Lee's wifey
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posted August 05, 2003 09:31 AM |
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The way I see it if you can't accept how you look how are others? I know I am pretty in a way, and I have people tell me I am pretty all the time, even though half the time i think there full of it and need glasses. You have to have someone in your life to make you feel pretty and keep yourself up. Like my sig used to say....Life isn't what it makes of you but what you make of it, you gotta make the best out of everything including your looks. If ya have a few pimples a big but and scars on your legs you are still beautiful in someones eyes so be happy!
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Never wear anything that panics
the cat.
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Dingo
Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
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posted August 10, 2003 04:11 AM |
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Their is nothing wrong with judging a person by their apperance
Their is nothing wrong with judging someone by their apperance. Every person in the world does it. If you say you don't, your lying. Don't be a lier! You can't judge a persons personallity by their appearance.
Some people are attractive and some aren't. Some people are rich and some aren't. People are different, so deal with it.
"Real Beauty is on the inside."
"Thats just something ugly people say."
I've always found that line funny. Its in the movie Lier-Lier.
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The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.
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Nidhgrin
Honorable
Famous Hero
baking cookies from stardust
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posted September 19, 2003 09:49 PM |
bonus applied. |
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Quote:
One on the few things Im not sure of, is if youre truly insane celfious, or just a really funny guy
I don't think celf is insane, I merely think he's a creative thinker. His subconscious being constantly firing ideas and information to the conscious part rather than following a strict thinking sceme like most people's brains work. When writing these things out, it may seem like he's hopping and that there's no logic in what is written. Creative thinking is certainly not the most efficient and fastest way of thinking, but it opens doors to places in the mind where many people can never come... Being somewhat of a creative thinker myself, when writing/speaking, I try to add in steps and attempt to make it understandable but I'm not sure if I always manage, I've been called insane quite a lot of times in the past too 
On topic now I have two things I'd like to say...
1. All people are beautiful for crying out loud! Quoting Medusa here from a thread on GG...
Quote:
Oh c'mon ppl i don't believe you're ugly! There rae no ugly ppl, there are just those who don't want to be and feel beautiful!
Imo that's a fact, all human beings, all of nature's creation is beautiful. Cultural influences, publicity, commercials, foto's in magazines, ... they all dictate certain looks. The perfect man, the perfect woman, ... That image slightly changes with the passing of every season. Clothes change, haircuts change, and slowly over the years other preferences change aswell. When compared to other cultures there are much greater differences, they may think someone's attractive for reasons we would think someone rather ugly. I guess what I'm trying to say is that beauty/ugliness is what you perceive through glasses colored with your cultural bagage (among other things).
There have been studies concerning 'absolute beauty', ... I know that, and to an extent I believe there must be something like signals sent by a body that tell us whether a person is healthy, strong, fertile, ... On a very basic level we pick up these signals and imo that's what makes us tell someone's attractive or not. On top of that come the things I've listed in the previous paragraph, but those are imo just as important as pheromones/the instinctive level.
People do get prettier when they have a nice and warm personality, while hard and cold personalities can make people look uglier than their looks objectively are. I've met very few people that I could call really ugly, actually I think none... Attractiveness is another thing of course, but as I mentioned before, I consider that a personal thing. Everyone feels more attracted to this or that 'type' of looks...
Bjorn, I can't disagree with you. "Hot chicks" are fun to hang out with and great to have sex with. For a somewhat longer lasting relationship though it's always good for a girl to have brains  and a good heart is just as important. I'd go for a smart witty girl with a fantastic personality but less good looking any time instead of a great looking ***** making my life hell but just being lovely to look at and in bed...
2. People do judge people by their appearance indeed, I do too... Maybe it's an automatism, but the first seconds I see someone, I've already judged them on a couple of dozens of criteria, don't even know what most of these are. Looks have an immense impact on people, good looks often open doors... At work people will often think you're more important than others, they will start to communicate with you faster. The funny thing is that through this, you DO get more opportunities and in the end WILL be more succesful than someone who is less good looking. People will always look at you and listen when you start to talk. People will laugh more with your jokes and will want to be closer to you. People will also do more things for you, even without asking.
Naive people who are good looking will have people trying to take advantage of them. I guess really goodlooking people will learn from the reactions/actions of others that in fact there must be something special about them, that they're not so average looking... Goodlooking people who are intelligent can get far more easily than others. These people can be especially dangerous when they have no morals, no conscience or no ethics. I think more goodlooking people have bad personalities than less good looking people, though they do have less complexes usually.
I ask myself sometimes whether it's better to have a lot of goodlooking friends, or better to have very intelligent friends, or friends with a heart... A small number of my friends are very near to me. They have a heart big enough for the world to share and they're really beautiful inside. Some of my friends are very intelligent, they're wonderful to talk with for hours and hours. I have little really good looking friends but I think they're all pretty in their own way. They are all very different and not like 'standard looking' models in magazines, not really my idea of beauty anyway... How to compare them? It's impossible imo, I wouldn't want to miss any of them. When talking about friends, outer beauty doesn't matter that much for me anyway. Like kitten says, when you feel you're beautiful, when you look into the mirror and can say "This is me, and I love who I am", you will radiate that and people will notice. You will be more beautiful...
Beauty is both a blessing and a curse. For those who have read 'The Perfume' by Patrick Süskind, and as bort indicated by saying people sometimes hate others for their beauty, lots of people wish nothing more than to rip you apart just because you have good looks. Some people can't handle their own beauty and lose it, trampling others in the dust in order to advance or gain something. Others suffer true cruelties and get traumatized by it...
Sure, we all have the desire to look prettier I'd want to feel what it would be like to have the body of a bodybuilder for one day for instance. For one day only though, since my brain, my 'spirit' would not fit in that body, it only fits in my current body. Be happy with the body you have, it is your only one but I'm sure it can't be that bad
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Khaelo
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Underwater
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posted September 19, 2003 11:19 PM |
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Quote:
Bjorn, I can't disagree with you. "Hot chicks" are fun to hang out with and great to have sex with. For a somewhat longer lasting relationship though it's always good for a girl to have brains and a good heart is just as important. I'd go for a smart witty girl with a fantastic personality but less good looking any time instead of a great looking ***** making my life hell but just being lovely to look at and in bed...
Ah, not to pick on you, Nidhgrin, but...isn't it an assumption or judgment that good-looking people are better in bed? I realize that, almost by definition, they are more desireable in the abstract, but once you've got them in bed, is their performance really better than average?
No actual answer wanted; just a thought.
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 Cleverly
disguised as a responsible adult
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted September 19, 2003 11:30 PM |
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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
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Yolk and God bless.
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My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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privatehudson
Responsible
Legendary Hero
The Ultimate Badass
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posted September 19, 2003 11:42 PM |
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I agree LW, but what the hell does a spherical floating fantasy monster with numerous eyes on stalks have to do with beauty?
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tigerangelz
Known Hero
Angelic Tigress
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posted September 20, 2003 04:15 PM |
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Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but it also comes from inside. If you are not happy with the way you look, much of the time, others will see you that way.
Conversley,
if you accept the way you look, and tell yourself that you are beautiful, you will emit an aura, of sorts, and others will see you that way.
I was a true ugly duckling, as a child. Tall and thin, I was really unhappy with myself. As I got older, people would tell me "how lucky I was to be tall & thin."
I finally accepted this, and while I'll never think of myself as beautiful, I am happy with my looks.
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Gaia Forums
Guardians Grove
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Sir_Elric
Responsible
Famous Hero
Having a bad hair day.
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posted October 24, 2003 05:46 AM |
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IMO looks are everything.
People who say they are not are normally butt ugly lol.
I married a young beautiful woman, well I think so, with a great personality taboot.
Sure I could have married a young ugly fat woman with a good personality but if you have a choice between the two I know which I would choose.
So saying looks don't mean anything is a crock!
*ducks for cover*
SE
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted October 24, 2003 06:24 AM |
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Looks mean very little if anything at all, although the meaning we humans get in our conceous when it comes to looks, is usualy off scale to what is real.
and mr sir elric, looks may be something important but
{looks are} everything- is a big word.. I hope the skin on your head stays formed normaly, otherwise you might not beable to live with yourself
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Incubi and I like black haired females black hair, dark warm eyes, and usualy somewhat pale skin. But I'm not all evil its just the #1 (but not required) and I dont see many
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What are you up to
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IRh
Famous Hero
Lizard
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posted November 01, 2003 07:34 PM |
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Quote:
I agree LW, but what the hell does a spherical floating fantasy monster with numerous eyes on stalks have to do with beauty?
Don't be too acid PH . People have right to have their own taste. I find Lizardmen looking cool, but someone would find them ugly. Why don't find beholders cute then?
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted February 18, 2004 10:17 AM |
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Edited By: Consis on 18 Feb 2004
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My Thoughts On Exterior Beauty
Exterior beauty in my very different opinion:
I want to be more physically attractive. I like looking at physically attractive people. I don't like how I look now and so I have made plans with myself to be more proactive in training myself to be more presentable.
As an actor, model, representative I have found that my looks play a significant role in the first-impression phase of meeting people.
My lifestyle is mostly stagnate as of right now so I really don't worry about my appearance. I have let myself go and I think, often, that I wouldn't want anyone to see this current appearance of me.
In this forum there are some real-life photos of people being posted. There is a picture of myself online but it's not the one I'm going to eventually post in the thread that asks for real-life photos. This picture is how I look currently. In spite of this fact I'm going to post pictures of when I was 19 or 20. These pictures look nothing like me now but I am so ashamed of how I've let myself go that I don't want to be reminded of it.
It's a question of looking in the mirror. Do I want to do that? I look in the mirror every day and I come up with excuses constantly on how to fix the problem.
You see, I was diagnosed with skin cancer about two years ago and since that time I have had three operations. These operations have left a lot of scarring on me in places that significantly lower my physical appearance. I have stated in another thread that I am very proud of my scars from all my life's experiences but these scars are not from any experience. They are from a disease to which there is no cure. No one knows why I have this disease but one thing is for certain. I am not going to outlive my wife. This thought is very comforting to me because I wouldn't want to see her die before me.
Anyway regardless of that, I would say that one's physical appearance plays a significant role in many aspects of the human life. I believe that, in today's society, my appearance has shown to be a pivotal factor in every single theatrical play, prominent speech, and courting ritual that I have experienced.
I don't know about other people's feelings but I am usually the first to dismiss outward appearances concerning their's while coming down like a hammer when concerning mine.
My brother has often criticized my taste in women for always picking "fat-chicks" to date and so forth. He once said to me, "If you have a choice between a psychopathic beautiful girl who is the world's biggest ***** and an ok girl who has an awesome personality, will cook and clean for you then you take the former." He continued and said, "Who do you want to be seen with? I'm looking to sell records not make friends." Entertainment, as I have just described, sets a very high standard for physical appearances. Since I am drawn to this direction in life, I too, want to make myself more attractive.
I suppose it also adds to a person's confidence. I already have plenty of confidence in my physical being so I don't really need to worry about this aspect. I once held the title for first place in the weightlifting competition for "olympic-styles" in the state of Texas, at the age of 16.
Physical appearances do play a significant role in all of our lives. The degree to which the significance is played out depends on the individual. Personally, I like variety therefore my own logic would dictate that too much of one thing would sour my appetite for the "perfect body". If the world had more than one Mona Lisa painting then I believe it would significantly lower its value. That's how I like to think about other peoples' outward appearances. I like to think of them as the individually unique contribution to the overall beauty of the human race. Together we are beautiful while seperately, we are important.
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Roses Are Red And So Am I
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Svarog
Honorable
Supreme Hero
statue-loving necrophiliac
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posted February 18, 2004 06:22 PM |
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Edited By: Svarog on 18 Feb 2004
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Wow, Consis, are you competing with Dingo for the “Thread Necromancer” title?
Nevertheless, interesting topic. [EDIT: Consis, I read your post. It's really deep and touching. I agree with you about the importance of appearance in modern corrupted society. Unfortunately.]
First of all, I want to say that looks are important. Many people including me, want to be in the presence of good-looking people (esp. girls ). They are more liked by everybody. But what the hell, on my priority scale looks don’t qualify very high. It is also true that beauty comes from within. I don’t mean character here, but the way you “wear your own body”. I’ve seen gorgeous girls, look unappealing, because they are grumpy and blue all the time, and vice versa.
But, judging people from their appearance is something completely different. I hate when people do that. And they do it all the time. I’ve learned from experience that you can’t judge a man, not even for one single thing about him, just on the basis of appearance.
Some people think I’m a junky, because of my long hair and clothes. And should I change myself, because other people don’t like it? Or just in order to leave better impression on people I meet? Never! They are the ones with the problem. And it’s only important for me to like the way I look myself. If they have a problem with it, I don’t need that kind of friends.
There are both positive and negative prejudices, arising from the way most people perceive other people. Someone said that if you wanna look like a tough guy, you should wear baggy jeans, tattoos, piercing… Oh, believe me I’ve seen plenty of metalheads, punkers, bad ass gangsta rappers, and they are nothing more than whimps! They wear that kind of outfit just to gain respect or invoke fear in other people’s eyes.
Also, many people believe that blonde pinky type girls are stupid. There’s a teacher at university here, who doesn’t allow blonde girls to pass an exam! Chicks dye their hair for that snow. I’ve got a friend (90-60-90, you get the picture ), who is that blonde pinky type, but she is not stupid at all. Totally the opposite.
But another thing is also true. Some pretty girls are posh and big-headed (but empty-headed); always humiliate people not attractive as they are. On the other hand, ugly girls don’t do that, because they lack the self-confidence. So that’s where I see the reason for pretty girls being considered shallow. Because if they are, they try so hard to show it, while ugly people don’t go around showing of.
Ok, bottom line, kids: Never ever judge a person by his/her appearance.
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The meek shall inherit the earth, but NOT its mineral rights.
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