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| Thread: Reasons for love? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted October 23, 2005 05:39 PM |
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Poll Question:
Reasons for love?
I would like to ask you,
do you love people for who they are,
or what they do?
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arachnid
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted October 23, 2005 11:41 PM |
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what they do..... (for me)
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Daystar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Back from the Dead
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posted October 24, 2005 12:33 AM |
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who they are, of course!
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How exactly is luck a skill?
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted October 24, 2005 04:25 AM |
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what do I care what a person does?
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"You went over my helmet??"
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pandora
Honorable
Legendary Hero
The Chosen One
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posted October 24, 2005 04:42 AM |
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Aren't the things we do what make us the people we are?
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
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2XtremeToTake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted October 24, 2005 04:47 AM |
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I was thinking something along the same lines...
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Daystar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Back from the Dead
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posted October 24, 2005 04:52 AM |
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but doesnt who we are decide what we do? it's an orubourusinan question.
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How exactly is luck a skill?
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Guitarguy
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Rockoon.
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posted October 24, 2005 06:21 AM |
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Quote:
it's an orubourusinan question.
Try say that word six times in quick succession. 
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The poll choices are kind of tricky. For me, it's too simple to love people for what they do. Some people do good deeds purely for show. These people who go through the motions just to appeal to their peers are turn-offs to me. I'd appreciate it if someone does a good deed on my behalf, but I wouldn't automatically love them for it. Still, a good deed is a good deed; no big fuss there.
Perhaps love can be replaced with a more fitting term. Without going deep into my reasons, I have a certain underlying "respect" for everybody. I might disagree with some/many things they do or how they carry themselves, but I try to return my focus to the respect I have for them. It's a difficult but necessary thing to do, particularly when I deal with people who irk me to the farthest of extremes. In the end, everybody's human. I hope that if I respect others for who they are, they'll do the same for me in return.
I hope at least some of the above made sense.
-Guitarguy
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted October 24, 2005 05:47 PM |
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Quote:
Aren't the things we do what make us the people we are?
well I interpreted "what they do" as "what they do for a living" 
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"You went over my helmet??"
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Russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted October 24, 2005 06:26 PM |
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How about "what they do because of who they are" option?
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Conan
Responsible
Supreme Hero
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posted October 24, 2005 06:29 PM |
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how about "all of the above" ??
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Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will service.... us. - Star Trek TNG
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted October 24, 2005 07:06 PM |
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Edited By: Jebus on 24 Oct 2005
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"what they do" is WAY too vague...
could be what they do for society, work, their community, their family, their friends, etc...
shouldn't it be : what they don't do?
my loved ones don't judge me, belittle me, disrespect me, expect anything from me... are there for me, like im there for them... we support each other.
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"You went over my helmet??"
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted October 24, 2005 07:17 PM |
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Both actually.
I love someone for who they are, as in I love them because they are the person I love 
I love someone for what they do, as in I love them because they make me love them
Good enough?
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Yolk and God bless.
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My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted October 24, 2005 08:25 PM |
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do we really need a reason or a justification of our feelings towards another?
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"You went over my helmet??"
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Daystar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Back from the Dead
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posted October 24, 2005 11:35 PM |
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No. But it is important to have those feelings because... um...
Oh, heck! hang the sense of it and go with the flow.
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How exactly is luck a skill?
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted November 01, 2005 08:28 PM |
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Quote:
It says.. a woman would like his man to forget about his dignity for a second or two and do some foolish things e.g propose in middle of street.. if the man is unwilling to do that it goes to prove he loves himself (his pride more than her) thus he doesnt really love her.
doesn't that just mean the guy's affraid to get smoked by an oncoming car?? 
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"You went over my helmet??"
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Twotone
Adventuring Hero
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posted November 02, 2005 11:40 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
It says.. a woman would like his man to forget about his dignity for a second or two and do some foolish things e.g propose in middle of street.. if the man is unwilling to do that it goes to prove he loves himself (his pride more than her) thus he doesnt really love her.
doesn't that just mean the guy's affraid to get smoked by an oncoming car??
Lol, Jeb this is supposed to be a serious conversation. It takes a lot of courage to put aside your pride and do something that might look foolish. If you really love some1, you're willing to do that for them.
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Jebus
Promising
Supreme Hero
TheJester akaJeebs akaJebfoo
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posted November 03, 2005 01:57 PM |
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Quote:
Lol, Jeb this is supposed to be a serious conversation. It takes a lot of courage to put aside your pride and do something that might look foolish. If you really love some1, you're willing to do that for them.
quite right and I apologize to those of you who don't appreciate the joke within the serious context...
having said that...
it does take courage, but I find most of all it takes humility and a good sense of humour.
When I look back at some of the blunders I've commited in the past (concerning love) and had been able to laugh at myself or the situation, I'd be better off today.
As much as courage is important, I think the ability to drop inhibitions and insecurities and be a little gooffy when it comes to love, we'd ALL be better off!
(and if you make a comment about a guy's fear of standing in the middle of the road, expect a sarcastic remark from your community Jester!  )
____________
"You went over my helmet??"
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Nidhgrin
Honorable
Famous Hero
baking cookies from stardust
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posted November 04, 2005 10:24 PM |
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A little something about love...
Before I start writing, just this. I don't 'know' that many things. In fact right now I live much more from the heart than by using the mind and just the mind as we are taught to do in the western world. Knowledge from books is one thing, wisdom and life experience are another... Life continues to be a rough ride for me, and I experience trying to always follow the heart leads to a simple form of uncomplicated happiness, through all the difficult things that are put on on my path. When you listen to your heart, and try to shortcircuit the ego as much as possible, you simply can't be unhappy. Call it a survival technique if you wish. Things I write in general come from that point of view, and I'd never claim them to be the sole thruth. That means I respect other points of view, evaluate them and either change or stick to the idea that works best for me.
What we do as people is an extension of who we really are. Though I for instance like the work of several great artists, writers or poets, some of them are really impossible people. Complicated, troubled and oftenly lost. Their art is an expression of those feelings and emotions and can be beautiful on its own. It's no guarantee however that the artist him or herself is that beautiful as a person.
People don't ever hurt us, actually we hurt ourselves. Of every person you know, an image is created in your mind. Perfectly naturally, to this image we connect certain expectations, desires and dreams of our own that not necessarily correspond with the expectations, desires and dreams of that person. The image of a person is a representation of that person, but will rarely be exact. If people do things that go against those expectations, desires and dreams we 'get hurt'. It forces us to not only adjust our own expectations, desires and dreams but also the image of the person we have in our mind. This is not easy, and 'hurts'. The closer to the heart we allow a person to come, and thus the deeper and more intense / important the connected expectations, desires and dreams are, the more a person can 'hurt us'. Does this mean we shouldn't allow anyone to come close? No, at least in my point of view that would make life incredibly lonely and poor. Does this mean we should try to root out all of our expectations, desires and dreams? If this were humanly possible it wouldn't be a bad path to follow, but I'm yet to meet people who can put their ego completely out of play. Names of people who could that come to mind are Jesus, Bhudda and Ghandi for instance... Though it is a tiresome thing to do I try to constantly improve that image of people in my mind by 'really getting to know' people, and who they are deep down. To that image it is then possible to attach basic, uncomplicated, realistic expectations, desires and dreams, and the better the image is, the less you will get hurt.
So I love people for who they really are, even when they sometimes do things that 'hurt' me, have different ideas or views on things and want or desire different things than the things I want or desire. My most valuable friends definitely are the ones I know very well in person. Especially people with an open heart, who are not afraid to express their feelings when they feel them, and don't take them in where they might become poisonous and explosive. People who are not afraid to give and receive love.
You can perceive an open heart as a dangerous vulnerability. I don't, in fact it is my greatest strength. The language of love is universal. It's a language every person in every country, in every culture can understand once they're open for it. Break free from the concepts, patterns and insights of your own culture. Travel, get to know people and lose your fear of the strange, the different, and a whole new world will open for you. Religion, national and international laws and cultural concepts are there to allow large groups to live together and prevent conflicts to escalate but they are tools, rather than a part of life itself and might even sound alien and uncomprehensible to people who live in other groups of society, in other cultures. If everyone would realize this relativity of social and cultural rules and laws there would be no need for xenophobia, fascism and even war.
Rules give me the creeps sometimes, especially when people start following them blindly and take them in as a part of a bigger thruth instead of seeing them as the tools they really are. I never take things for granted, and always weigh the pro's against contra's of a certain rule, explore the times and places where they are applicable, and where they are not before accepting the execution of that rule. Military service, where recruits are drilled to blindly follow orders is for me the perfect example of life upside down. In military service people are instructed to stop thinking for themselves, not listen to their heart, while placing their own responsability in life with their superiors. Reminds me of certain mispractices in some of the major religions aswell, especially those were followers are 'in the service of' a god or superbeing. Think about the crusades, the inquisition and jihad for instance...
I hope this also somewhat explains my conduct in the Stiven case here at HC... I feel I have to say I'm sorry to especially Consis who I've been particularly hard on. I lost my patience with you there for a moment and I'm sorry for that. Reading my broader point of view here, I hope you will understand the things I said there better. There is a general tendency towards more and stricter rules everywhere in the western world. Maybe this is because people feel lost as the ethical values that were once so prominent begin to fade with the loss of religion and social contact and interaction. Perhaps these rules provide them with a framework of security because people are afraid, and grow increasingly afraid of other people, other ideas and other cultures.
You know you can be a free person Consis, that is if you choose to be free. Other insights can be enriching, liberating and can eventually give a deep feeling of thrust and confidence in life, rather than being fearsome. Rules are necessary, leaders are necessary and major social structures will always exist but you should never ever take them for granted. Try to see the people behind the rules. Using state of mind you can enter their situation and experience the application of rules personally. Open your mind to perceive the existance of other options or possibilities. After doing so, are the rules applied still the most humane way to treat the person or the situation? In that case there's no problem, in all other cases I would opt to deviate from the rule and put the person in the center rather than the rule...
If you have unconditional confidence in life, open your eyes and take things as they come, there is no need to be afraid. Life will smile back at you and reward you for your confidence. Still difficult situations will cross your path, but rather than bringing you down you will learn from them and grow. As you grow, you will learn to intuitively feel which people you meet are good, which are the people you can learn from the most, and which are the people you'd better stay away from. You only live once in this form, and life is so fragile and vulnerable that if you don't live today, tomorrow you may not have the chance anymore. Dreams and expectations can be nice but they have a dark backside, as looking ahead like that they may make you miss opportunities and chances that are right in front of you. Also when you reach long distance goals, you may find yourself lost without a cause, or on the other hand unreachable goals can be a great cause of unhappyness too. At least I try to live at the moment, and rather than living a dream I let life create reality for me...
Don't be afraid to live from the heart. It will give you wings, and make you discover that deep down in every person there's an undepletable reserve of love, waiting to be used.
Best of luck to all
Ivo
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ametov
Adventuring Hero
Powerful Strategist
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posted December 12, 2005 06:17 AM |
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the way i see it...
if you know why you love someone then it isnt love
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