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| Thread: The Store for Depressed People | |
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Gom_Jabbar
Promising
Famous Hero
Revealer of Truth
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posted September 30, 2006 11:07 PM |
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The Store for Depressed People
I’m back, and I’m back with a vengeance. I’m going to start this “thing” which is not a RPG or PRP but rather a series of short stories. I must warn you that there will maybe be some explicit content (I hope I won’t get any –QP’s because of it) and some strange situations that maybe some of you won’t understand. Please remember that I’m not trying to offend anyone. Enjoy.
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Gom_Jabbar
Promising
Famous Hero
Revealer of Truth
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posted September 30, 2006 11:09 PM |
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The Store for Depressed People.
The store was empty. The sales lady(which from now on we shall refer to as Lady) was trying to fill her time with all sorts of boring stuff.
Then a nine year old child walks in the store.
Lady: What do you want darling?
Child: I want to die, says the child.
Lady: Why, what’s wrong?
Child: I want to die because I’ll never be a child anymore. I’ll grow old, I will have children of my own, and I don’t want to have kids because I know how it’s like to be a child.
I want to play with my toys – I don’t want to have sex, I don’t want to have an erection, I don’t want to waste my life at work – I want to play with my toys.
I don’t want to waste my life trying to become famous just to die full of snow forgotten by all my friends who are already dead. I don’t want to see my friends die.
I don’t want to buy my own coffin, just to be sure I have it for when I die, I don’t want to see my wife die of cancer, I don’t want to see my children help me when I’m too old to care for myself – I want to play with my toys.
I don’t want to see my skin gets riddled, I don’t want to pet my boss with the excuse I’m doing it for a better life, I don’t want to waste my life paying bills, I don’t want to see myself in a dirty mirror, which is dirty because I don’t have ay reasons to clean it – I want to play with my toys.
I’m unhappy – I want to die because I don’t want to die.
Lady: And you’re afraid to kill yourself?
Child: Yes, I’m deadly scared of dying.
Lady: Would you want me to do it for you?
Child: If you could…
Lady: Ok, turn around, or would you want me to shoot you in the mouth?
Child: No, it’s better in the back of the head. I don’t want to see myself dying.
Lady: Fine then!
Then she pulls out a heavy handgun and shoots the child in the head, and then carries the body to the warehouse. Yet another satisfied customer.
…to be continued
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted October 01, 2006 01:22 PM |
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Filler Post
Gom, that is a very powerful piece of writing you have there. Amazing... I'm looking forward to seeing more. /filler
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John says to live above hell.
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Gom_Jabbar
Promising
Famous Hero
Revealer of Truth
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posted October 03, 2006 09:31 PM |
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After a while an old man, too old for a human, walks in The Store for Depressed People.
Lady: Dou you want something?
Old man: I want to die!
Lady: That would be 20$. Do you want me to kill you?
Old man: No thank you for you to kill me. I’d just like to die on my own. Do you mind if I die here. I won’t cause you any trouble, I’m just going to die.
Lady: I don’t mind it at all, on the contrary. Look, have a sit right here and die.
Old man: Thank you. I feel so depressed. Dieing would suit me so well now.
Lady: Are you annoyed that you’re going to die?
Old man: No I’m not. I only feel bad that I’m not going to see this old hands anymore (points to the hands), that I’m not going to see this old and wrinkled face (points to the face), that I’m not going to see this worn and useless legs (points to the legs), that I’m not going to see this flask and inert penis of mine (points to the inert), that I’m not going to see ever how old and useless I am. I’m not going to see any of this again, Lady.
Lady: Yes, but why would you want to be able to see exactly this things?
Old man: Well, I struggled for so long to get old ant then, suddenly, I die. Then why did I tried so hard? Why did I put up with so many things, why did I endured all this craps life put me trough, if in the end I will die? Why can’t I enjoy being old? Why, why, why? Why do we have to die before we have the time to enjoy the wrinkled skin, the sick eyes, the tired legs? Why did I struggled so hard in this life to became useless? Oh, dear god this is so unfair! I want to die because I don’t want to die !
And then the old man just sat in his chair. After 10 days he asked lady for a bible in Chinese and died.
He died unhappy: for 30 years he terminal stage cancer that he did not know about.
…to be continued
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Gom_Jabbar
Promising
Famous Hero
Revealer of Truth
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posted October 07, 2006 09:04 PM |
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Then in the Store for Depressed People enters a depressed dog.
Lady: Do you want something?
Dog: I want to make crazy love with you, said the dog crying.
Lady: Sure. That would be 49,98$. Only one question though: why with me?
Dog: Because I want to go beyond my condition. Because I don’t want to live an ordinary life. I want to be the first dog that walks on the moon, the first dog that makes a billion bucks. Why is that so hard to understand? Why can’t I fulfill these dreams of mine? Only because I’m a dog?
Lady: But there are so many humans that never walked on the moon. Why would you, a dog, want to go to the moon?
Dog: Lady, what can I do if people just live ordinary lives with no greater expectations because of their laziness? I want to have an exceptional destiny. I’m not interested in a species ordinarily superior which in unable to reach greatness. I want to live to the limit, I want to hot passion, I want to provoke conjugal dramas to women that live ordinary lives with ordinary men and never discovered passion. I want to discover things in a woman’s soul that men can’t because they’re mediocre and can’t take a woman’s soul to the limit where ecstasy resides.
Men don’t know this things, they don’t know how to live in the middle of passion because the man’s soul is incapable of reaching ecstasy which a woman’s supreme condition.
Why can’t I do that? Only because I’m a dog? Lady, the woman is something else, an animal that lives with passion, that does not have limits in ecstasy. Men can’t go there because they are limited. They can’t understand that a woman’s supreme manifestation is infinite ecstasy. Her, the woman as an infinite animal can only be understood by me, a dog.
Why does a woman have to fail her destiny as an ecstatic animal only because she has to live next to a man, an inferior species, incapable of ecstasy, incapable of an orgasm longer than a second which they can’t understand?
Women can live in the skies, but men are keeping their passions to the ground out of mediocre thinking like: “Yeah, she’s unhappy, but there’s no one banging her, because me, a snowty man that can’t understand the sublime, want so.”
Oh, Lord, where a woman’s soul could have been if she didn’t have to break the superiority of her feelings, next to a dick!
…the dog will continue
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