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| Thread: How to win any argument. |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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Juggernaut
Hired Hero
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posted May 03, 2006 11:24 AM |
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How to win any argument.
How to win any argument.
1. Drink liquor.
Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about.
If you’re drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you’ll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date.
But if you drink several large martinis, you’ll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You’ll be a WEALTH of information. You’ll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
2. Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you’ll be damned if you’re going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON’T say: ”I think Peruvians are underpaid.” Say instead: ”The average Peruvian’s salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level.”
NOTE: Always make up exact figures.
If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say: ”This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon’s study for the Buford Commission published on May 9, 1982. Didn’t you read it?” Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, ”You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom.”
3. Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:
”Let me put it this way..”
”In terms of...”
”Vis-a-vis...”
”Per se...”
”As it were...”
”Qua...”
”So to speak...”
You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as: ”Q.E.D.”, ”e.g.”, and ”i.e.” These are all short for ”I speak Latin, and you don’t.”
Here’s how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say, ”Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don’t have enough money.” You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say, ”Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D.”
Only a fool would challenge that statement.
4. Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:
”You’re begging the question.”
”You’re being defensive.”
”Don’t compare apples to oranges.”
”What are your parameters?”
This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what ”parameters” means. and don’t forget the classic: YOU’RE SO LINEAR.
Here’s how to use your comebacks:
You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
You say: You’re begging the question.
You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
You say: You’re being defensive.
5. Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say, ”That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say,” or ”You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler.”
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Juggernaut: the Ace of Spades of HC.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted May 03, 2006 01:01 PM |
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Your female right  ?
If your not then I would have to defanately disagree only in the way of arguing with your gf or wife etc.
Women will spit you out like bubble gum lol.
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Juggernaut
Hired Hero
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posted May 03, 2006 01:14 PM |
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As strange as it may seem I have a girlfriend that loves me*
*I´m not a lesbian haha
I aim to please.
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Juggernaut: the Ace of Spades of HC.
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted May 03, 2006 04:13 PM |
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In my experience, the best way to win an argument is to be right.
And speaking of handy latin phrases, there are some good ones here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A218882
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russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted May 03, 2006 04:26 PM |
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Edited by russ at 16:42, 03 May 2006.
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Jug, with all due respect... you've put so many good pointers, but you've missed the NUMBER ONE weapon in any discussion, which is:
1. DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR OPPONENT!
Yes, that's right, ignore his babbling. Just keep on talking and repeating the same thing over and over. This will eventually confuse your opponent and nullify all of his arguments. He will have to retreat and you will take the field as a winner.
* Bonus points will be given for catching an occasional word or two from his babbling, then creating his arguments for him using that word (or two) and then arguing that those arguments are incredibly stupid.
Example (lets stick with Peruvian ecomony):
Your opponent says: "Peruvian Ecomony is mainly based on the export of ****. The average Peruvian salary has been estimated to be *** dollars, according to the study conducted last year."
Since you follow the #1 rule religiously, you do your best efforts to ignore this, but alas - your opponent repeated the word Peruvian too many times and you've accidentally heard it.
So, you attempt to recreate your opponent's argument based on the only word you've heard and you counter him with: "WHAT??? Why do you think that all Peruvians should be executed in a gas chamber???!!!!"
This will be very hard to counter, so your opponent will start showing the first signs of weakness, which will look like: "...... but... I never said that, I was talking about Peruvian economy!"
This time you've successfully followed the #1 rule and ignored all of what he said, so you can finish him off by rephrasing what you've said last time: "You disgust me! I simply can not talk with someone who wants to execute all of Peruvians in a gas chamber!"
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted May 03, 2006 05:32 PM |
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@Russ
You want to execute all Peruvians in a gas chamber!?
@Acu lol
No seriously though, the list for "How to win an argument" is completely different for a woman. It's actually just this one line.
"You're ignoring my feelings"
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russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted May 03, 2006 05:55 PM |
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Quote:
@Russ
You want to execute all Peruvians in a gas chamber!?
It is good to see that you already know the #1 rule!
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Xarfax111
Bad-mannered
Supreme Hero
The last hero standing
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posted May 03, 2006 06:04 PM |
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How do US americans "win" a discussion, when they are on the wrong side of an argument?
Well, simply 3 phrases:
"You are just jealous about our wealth"
(sidenote: Western European do have better living standards in average, which looks like news to you)
"I dont understand why you hate ALL americans".
(sidenote: Only because i disagree with you in an argument doesnt mean that i hate you, and if, it doesnt mean that i hate automatically all the others).
"Nuke them all."
(Hes aware that hes wrong and just wants to pretend that he did not take the argue seriously and hangs out a cybergeek)
At least it makes peoples silence for the shown pure ignorance to the argue itself. Well, at least it gaves them a feeling of a win, while theyve fought on a totally lost point.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted May 03, 2006 09:36 PM |
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It is true to be honest Corribus but the woman may have nothing else to say.
Then you have to get ready for the ultimate guilt trip & makes you feel like an arse  .
Women can come from California or Germany, it's all the same thang, women dont change no matter what
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russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted May 03, 2006 09:38 PM |
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They get a lot more tan in California, foo!
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TNT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted May 03, 2006 09:43 PM |
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted May 03, 2006 09:47 PM |
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Quote:
It is true to be honest Corribus but the woman may have nothing else to say.
Then you have to get ready for the ultimate guilt trip & makes you feel like an arse .
Women can come from California or Germany, it's all the same thang, women dont change no matter what
Oh, we're talking about an argument with a WOMAN? Oh, well then obviously you're screwed - being right doesn't matter in that case. 
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Valeriy
Mage of the Land
Naughty, Naughty Valeriy
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posted May 03, 2006 11:44 PM |
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Edited by Valeriy at 23:44, 03 May 2006.
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In New Zealand the winning combination is not listening and making yourself out to be a victim who is abused or taken advantage of. That's what I didn't like about being an employer.
Biggest problem is that the justice system (for smaller cases) operates on that very basis. Whoever is most convincingly offended wins. Stuff the facts.
____________
You can wait for others to do it, but if they don't know how, you'll wait forever.
Be an example of what you want to see on HC and in the world.
http://www.heroesofmightandmagic.com
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LegendMaker
Promising
Famous Hero
The Metal Specialist
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posted May 04, 2006 12:38 AM |
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Dudes...
There is no such thing as "winning" an argument. A genuine argument doesn't have anything to do with logic. It's not a match that anyone can win. Winning isn't the goal. The elimination of the other('s ideas) is.
If two ppl disagree on something and they are both sufficiently intelligent and intellectually honest, there's no need to fight / argue. It's either a difference in tastes (which is perfectly okay to admit) or a missunderstanding (which can be settled if / when both sides keep their cool).
Most of the times, though, "arguements" are only excuses to fight for the power. So-called modern civilizations' political "debates" are the best examples of this kind of masquerades. If you're on the right-wing camp, even if you know the left-wing guy has a point, you have to yell your bull louder than him and try your best to make him look stupid to the masses. And vice versa.
But even when you achieve that, you might win the day but certainly not "win" the argument. Cause your opponent will certainly NEVER say "good game" to you (hell, he's even likely to call you a cheater). Lmao !
____________
LM   
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted May 04, 2006 01:18 AM |
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Well with a dude you have an equal chance on winning an argument & yes there are ways of winning & it does depend on whos right but also depends on how you use your words in the argument to twist it 
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted May 04, 2006 10:47 AM |
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Everything Legend said...
AlthoughI can see some truth in the whole women as purely emotional beings... Everything Legend said...
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted May 04, 2006 11:40 AM |
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Heres some simple advice, if you want to win or lose or none of the above in an argument, well simply just dont make an argument.
You should talk rationally and not start an argument.
You should express your thoughts and opinions and say them in a way that will try and persuade the target or 'victim' as I like to call it, and make them see your point of view.
If you argue then there will be a fight and a few teeth may come out, but when you talk these things through with thought and clamness and just persuasiveness then you will have a better day, wont get teeth knocked out, and have a good conversation with the person that you are trying to convince.
Arguments are just fights and don't need to start at all.
No arguments then no fights then better community and better lifestyle and stuff.
By talking rationally and calmly you are not only persuading your case but you are also having a better time and more good will come out of it rather than bad, and I think that most people would want good coming out of conversations and not so much bad.
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted May 04, 2006 12:06 PM |
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You never win an argument anyways WIlliam
I agree in the perspective on legends post because no matter what the argument is about & how big or small.
Two people will get hurt no matter who was 100% right or wrong.
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted May 04, 2006 12:17 PM |
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Well thats why you should always try to avoid arguments.
No matter what the argument is someone will get hurt and thats why you shouldnt start one.
You could either agree with the person or have your say on things in a nice civilised manner.
Having an argument is like acting like a 2 year old and we are past that stage aren't we?
Well I am and I would rather act in a civilised manner then look like a 2 year old and I think many people would.Having an argument is a way to release your anger but anger is a secondary emotion and what you probably feel is hurt or sadness.
Anger just covers things up and isnt productive at all, pretty much the opposite to be correct.
It only brings wars, and hurt and fights, and nobody wants that anymore.
I know that I dont and I want this world to be peacful and calm, rather then see it destroyed by some idiotic freaks who are bent on world power and want to see everything destroyed.
Now wouldnt you all say that arguments are wrong and they should be avoided.
Well I do.
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted May 04, 2006 12:22 PM |
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Maybe when you gow some hair , you will understan tha love is not perfect & if you dont care or love a person then you will never get in any arguments.
It happens & it's part of life & you grow & leanr together.
Sometimes it's unavoidable & argument is prefrabl to let out the tuth.
It's better then acually fighting.
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