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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 18, 2007 08:34 AM |
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Find and Replace
All you need to do to have fun in this thread is open up your word program and exercise the "find and replace" function. Pick a nice classic everybody knows and get down to it!
Here's Pride and Prejudice Galactic Domination and Principles of Overlordship.
It almost makes it interesting 
enjoy...
Immediately after doing so, I stopped, and suddenly remembered how it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a conscripted man in possession of a good transnexial portal must be in want of a activator.
However little known the rank or technology of such a man may be on his first entering a solar system, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding clans, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their gene farms.
``My dear Overlord Gzzrt,'' said his six headed concubine to him one day, ``have you heard that Tetringer Nubula is let at last?''
Overlord Gzzrt replied that he had not.
``But it is,'' returned she; ``for Ambassador Het'turn!icklon has just been here, and she told me all about it.''
Overlord Gzzrt made no answer.
``Do not you want to know who has taken it?'' cried his activator impatiently.
``You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.''
This was invitation enough.
``Why, my dear, you must know, Ambassador Het'turn!icklon says that Tetringer Nebula is taken by a young man of large transnexial portal from the north of Grazgoba'turning; that he came down on Monday in a Ionic A-4 class warship and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it that he agreed with Underpresident Barraniquel immediately; that he is to take possession before The eighteenth quaternial, and some of his cyborgs are to be in the house by the end of next week.''
``What is his name?''
``Vesacharchian 52A87.''
``Is he commissioned or conscripted?''
``Oh! conscripted, my dear, to be sure! A conscripted man of large transnexial portal; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our Hyper Neuborgians!''
``How so? how can it affect them?''
``My dear Overlord Gzzrt,'' replied his activator, ``how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his converting one of them.''
``Is that his design in settling here?''
``Design! nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may want to purchase one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes.''
``I see no occasion for that. You and the Hyper Neuborgians may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better; for, as you are as evil as any of them, Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87 might like you the best of the party.''
``My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of self-aggrandizing determination, but I do not pretend to be any thing extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown up gene farms, she ought to give over thinking of her own self-aggrandizing determination.''
``In such cases, a woman has not often much self-aggrandizing determination to think of.''
``But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87 when he comes into the solar system.''
``It is more than I engage for, I assure you.''
``But consider your gene farms. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir William and Six headed concubine Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know they visit no new comers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit him, if you do not.''
``You are over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87 will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his converting which ever he chooses of the Hyper Neuborgians; though I must throw in a good word for my little Lizzurtangia.''
``I desire you will do no such thing. Lizzurtangia is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so evil as Janishera, nor half so good humoured as Lydia. But you are always giving her the preference.''
``They have none of them much to recommend them,'' replied he; ``they are all silly and ignorant like other Hyper Neuborgians; but Lizzurtangia has something more of quickness than her clone companions.''
``Overlord Gzzrt, how can you abuse your own underlings in such way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves.''
``You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.''
``Ah! you do not know what I suffer.''
``But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many young men of four thousand a year come into the solar system.''
``It will be no use to us if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them.''
``Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty I will visit them all.''
Overlord Gzzrt was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three and twenty years had been insufficient to make his activator understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develope. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her gene farms commissioned; its solace was visiting and news.
Overlord Gzzrt was among the earliest of those who waited on Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87. He had always intended to visit him, though to the last always assuring his activator that he should not go; and till the evening after the visit was paid, she had no knowledge of it. It was then disclosed in the following manner. Observing his second gene farm employed in trimming a hat, he suddenly addressed her with,
``I hope Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87 will like it, Lizzurtangia.''
All you need to do to have fun in this thread is open up your word program and exercise the "find and replace" function. Pick a nice classic everybody knows and get down to it!
Here's Pride and Prejudice Galactic Domination and Principles of Overlordship.
It almost makes it interesting
enjoy...
Immediately after doing so, I stopped, and suddenly remembered how it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a conscripted man in possession of a good transnexial portal must be in want of a activator.
However little known the rank or technology of such a man may be on his first entering a solar system, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding clans, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their gene farms.
``My dear Overlord Gzzrt,'' said his six headed concubine to him one day, ``have you heard that Tetringer Nubula is let at last?''
Overlord Gzzrt replied that he had not.
``But it is,'' returned she; ``for Ambassador Het'turn!icklon has just been here, and she told me all about it.''
Overlord Gzzrt made no answer.
``Do not you want to know who has taken it?'' cried his activator impatiently.
``You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.''
This was invitation enough.
``Why, my dear, you must know, Ambassador Het'turn!icklon says that Tetringer Nebula is taken by a young man of large transnexial portal from the north of Grazgoba'turning; that he came down on Monday in a Ionic A-4 class warship and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it that he agreed with Underpresident Barraniquel immediately; that he is to take possession before The eighteenth quaternial, and some of his cyborgs are to be in the house by the end of next week.''
``What is his name?''
``Vesacharchian 52A87.''
``Is he commissioned or conscripted?''
``Oh! conscripted, my dear, to be sure! A conscripted man of large transnexial portal; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our Hyper Neuborgians!''
``How so? how can it affect them?''
``My dear Overlord Gzzrt,'' replied his activator, ``how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his converting one of them.''
``Is that his design in settling here?''
``Design! nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may want to purchase one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes.''
``I see no occasion for that. You and the Hyper Neuborgians may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better; for, as you are as evil as any of them, Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87 might like you the best of the party.''
``My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of self-aggrandizing determination, but I do not pretend to be any thing extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown up gene farms, she ought to give over thinking of her own self-aggrandizing determination.''
``In such cases, a woman has not often much self-aggrandizing determination to think of.''
``But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87 when he comes into the solar system.''
``It is more than I engage for, I assure you.''
``But consider your gene farms. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir William and Six headed concubine Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know they visit no new comers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit him, if you do not.''
``You are over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87 will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his converting which ever he chooses of the Hyper Neuborgians; though I must throw in a good word for my little Lizzurtangia.''
``I desire you will do no such thing. Lizzurtangia is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so evil as Janishera, nor half so good humoured as Lydia. But you are always giving her the preference.''
``They have none of them much to recommend them,'' replied he; ``they are all silly and ignorant like other Hyper Neuborgians; but Lizzurtangia has something more of quickness than her clone companions.''
``Overlord Gzzrt, how can you abuse your own underlings in such way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves.''
``You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.''
``Ah! you do not know what I suffer.''
``But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many young men of four thousand a year come into the solar system.''
``It will be no use to us if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them.''
``Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty I will visit them all.''
Overlord Gzzrt was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three and twenty years had been insufficient to make his activator understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develope. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her gene farms commissioned; its solace was visiting and news.
Overlord Gzzrt was among the earliest of those who waited on Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87. He had always intended to visit him, though to the last always assuring his activator that he should not go; and till the evening after the visit was paid, she had no knowledge of it. It was then disclosed in the following manner. Observing his second gene farm employed in trimming a hat, he suddenly addressed her with,
``I hope Mr. Vesacharchian 52A87 will like it, Lizzurtangia.''
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted March 18, 2007 09:18 AM |
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Theif! that was my creative piece for the 9367 word story!
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John says to live above hell.
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 18, 2007 09:47 AM |
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Genious! that was my hallucinatory revelation for the 9367 hit trip!
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 10, 2009 08:32 AM |
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So I've been reading the bible a bit, and I discovered its a lot more interesting if you substitute HC names for the bible ones. For example, Genesis 27
There Binabik saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Milena; he married her and went in to her, and she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name The Gootch. Again she conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Consis. Yet again she bore a son, and she called his name Aculias. She was in The Volcanic Wastelands when she bore him. And Binabik took a wife for The Gootch his first-born, and her name was Violent Flower. But The Gootch, Binabik's first-born, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him. Then Binabik said to Consis, "Go in to your brother's wife, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother." But Consis knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife he spilled the semen on the ground, lest he should give offspring to his brother. And what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD, and the Lord slew him.
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phoenixreborn
Promising
Legendary Hero
Unicorn
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posted March 10, 2009 07:11 PM |
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What you got against Consis hmm?
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Bask in the light of my glorious shining unicorn.
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