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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted April 04, 2007 07:26 PM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 11:28, 05 Apr 2007.
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After I die...
A darkness. I can't see anything. All black around me. And I'm floating. No, floating is perhaps the wrong word...Falling. Yes, it feels like I'm falling. What happened? Why am I here, falling through this endless blackness? Ah yes, I died. I died... Well this sucks. There is no heaven and hell. Seems like I was wrong anyway.
Hm, now I've stopped falling. I can feel the ground yet I can still see nothing. Odd...
Suddenly a blinding light flashed and I could see again. I looked up, to where I'd come from. It said "Entrance" there. I was in a cave of some sort. It wasn't cold, but nor was it warm. There was a large arrow on the wall indicating the way. For a moment I stood there, thinking. I decided to follow the arrow. After all, I was dead. What could happen to me?
The tunnel soon came to an end. And at the end there was a huge gate and a sign with big neon pink letters saying "Heaven" And there I saw Peter. I walked up to him. The gates were just closing and behind them was president Bush.
Peter: Damn blackouts...
So much for the dramatic darkness.
Me: Hey! What's this? Bush goes to heaven?
I was confused.
Peter: Well he regretted what he'd done.
He obviously couldn't care less about who goes in and who doesn't.
Me: Fair enough.
Peter: You, on the other hand...you're going to hell.
For a moment I remembered my old english teacher talking to a lazy student...
English teacher: You know what happens to people like you, who forget their books?
Lazy student: Well?
English teacher: They go to hell, Matteo. They go to hell!
Lazy student: Is that so?
English teacher: Oh yes. I can just picture it...You're walking down to the gates of hell. And there's the devil, saying: "I've been waiting for you"... And he has your book!
Me: Nooo!!
Me: I never forgot my books! I was a perfect student!
Peter: What are you talking about, you silly boy?
Me: Oh...I...never mind.
Peter: So that's that. Off you go.
Me: Why am I going to hell?
Peter: Because you don't regret.
Me: But I didn't do anything to regret!
Peter: Exactly! Don't you think that's wasting a lifetime? Being good all the time? Don't you regret that?
Me: What the...?
I was getting very confused, when another Peter walked out of the gates.
Me: Right, that's it!
Me: This is getting too silly.
Peter #2: I can explain!
Peter #2: He is my little twin brother. He's so jealous of my job as the gatekeeper that when I'm not here, he sneaks in and sends people to hell, all confused.
Peter #1: Can't you let me have any fun?
Peter #2: No. And I'll tell mum.
Peter #1: You wouldn't!
Peter #2: Oh, I would!
Me: Ahem...Am I going to hell or not?
Peter #2: Oh you're going to hell.
Me: Why?
Peter #2: You stole a candy bar when you were a kid. And you never regretted it at all!
Me: Well I do now...
Peter #2: Too late.
And so they both walked through the gates and left me standing there.
With nothing but...well, nothing. The bitterness took over in my mind while I walked down the long stairs that led to hell. I tried to cry, but I couldn't. Just my luck.
This is so typical. Just when I die there's some bitter looney at the gates and he wants to send me to hell. Then when I finally get to talk to a sane person, he sends me to hell too! And why? because he was too busy annoying his little brother to listen to my apologies. Apologies for stealing a lousy candy bar, which I never even ate because I dropped it while running away from the store...What about my lifetime of goodness and dicipline? God this is unfair.
God: What's that you were thinking, Spectrum?
Me: Oh, nothing. It's not that you're unfair, it's more like an expression, you know. It's what people say...
God: Oh I see...Well, carry on.
Me: Wait! I don't suppose you could...?
But no one was listening.
Damnit.
At the bottom of the stairs there was a similar place to the one I had just been in. Except this time the neon letters said "hell". And there was Devil, saying "I've been waiting for you..."
And he had my candy bar!
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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frostwolf
Famous Hero
livin' in a bottle of vodka
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posted April 04, 2007 10:32 PM |
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Well, don't worry. There's probably no such thing as an afterlife. Nobody is gonna make you pay for your candybar when all there's left is nothingness.
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What can you expect from a world where everybody lives because they're too afraid to commit suicide?
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted April 05, 2007 11:07 AM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 11:10, 05 Apr 2007.
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I know. It's just a joke. Something I wrote for fun. Don't take it too seriously
And it's purely fictional. I never stole a candy bar. My english teacher never said anything like that. The boy called Matteo in my class is not lazy. I am not a perfect student.
See? I made it all up
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted April 05, 2007 01:56 PM |
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 Dude, this is awesome  Cheers.
Uhm by the way is blowing weed a sin?
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted April 05, 2007 03:21 PM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 15:38, 05 Apr 2007.
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Thanks, Baklava! Anyone else have an opinion on it?
Quote:
Dude, this is awesome Cheers. Uhm by the way is blowing weed a sin?
I don't think so... At least the bible or ten commandments don't say anything about it
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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bixie
Promising
Legendary Hero
my common sense is tingling!
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posted April 05, 2007 09:58 PM |
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i've broken three out of the ten, so i know i'm going to hell.
but i'm going there in style! fiery motorbike, music playing, some friends with guitars and drums, me with fangs, claws, EVEN LONGER HAIR, tail, fire, my girlfriend. i payed a good soul for that, so i expect the best!
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Love, Laugh, Learn, Live.
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted April 05, 2007 10:05 PM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 22:07, 05 Apr 2007.
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Ah yes. Of course I could ruin that image too with another piece of writing
But seriously, guys...No feedback for me? (Except Baklava. Thank you man)
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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TnT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted April 05, 2007 10:08 PM |
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted April 05, 2007 10:10 PM |
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I understand completely
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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bixie
Promising
Legendary Hero
my common sense is tingling!
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posted April 05, 2007 10:16 PM |
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Quote:
Ah yes. Of course I could ruin that image too with another piece of writing
But seriously, guys...No feedback for me? (Except Baklava. Thank you man)
what you wrote was great
by the way, i nicked your soul, sold it to get the good position in hell.
satan says that you can come in the car, he still has your book, though!
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Love, Laugh, Learn, Live.
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted April 05, 2007 10:25 PM |
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Thank you
Great now I have no soul. Even higher chance that I actually go through what I wrote
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted April 06, 2007 01:33 AM |
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How do any of yall know what happens after you die.
Were all making simple guess.
This is not a disagreement.
Were simply making guesses because no one knows the truth.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted April 06, 2007 10:24 AM |
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I know the truth.... but I won't tell you
Very nice btw.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted April 06, 2007 11:51 AM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 22:13, 06 Apr 2007.
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Well I don't know the truth... But with my luck... See the first post on this page
No but I'm not guessing anything. I'm just sort of making sun of the heaven/hell dilemma from the "I gave up on believing in God" -thread
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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