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| Thread: An Insight to Golden Toast | |
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 08, 2007 06:13 PM |
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Edited by Spectrum at 21:51, 08 May 2007.
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An Insight to Golden Toast
I have lately been facinated by the way everything that exists follows and obeys the rules of nature and physics. Everything responds to our actions the way that is expected. Sometimes, however, one expects something to follow his actions or something that happened but is wrong. The unexpected happens. But that is without an exception a result of one's own ignorance of the universal laws of science. If one could reach complete knowledge of said laws, he could always know what will happen if he does so and so.
Then, just as I was getting used to the idea, I made the most disturbing discovery.
It is now quite clear to me that Golden Toast breaks the rules. Golden Toast - slices do not behave like normal objects on earth. When objects are heated, they become larger. This is just what happens. But not with Golden Toast.
A couple of days ago I felt a bit hungry, so I walked to the kitchen and chucked two slices of Golden Toast in the toaster. I was feeling quite normal and wasn't expecting anything strange to happen. However, when the slices came out, I received the shock of my life.
The slices had clearly shrunk in the toaster!
I tried this with several more slices, feeling very suspicious. Each time with the same results. I was now getting very nervous, thoughts were flying wildly around in my head. Eventually I came to a conclusion which, at least to me, made a lot of sense.
The name, Golden Toast, clearly states that the bread is meant to be toasted. Now, if they were normal toast, their size would not change at all in the toaster. This suggests that something has been done to them, which further implies that the shrinking of the toast is meant by the owners of the company to happen. And I ask myself: "Why would anyone want their toast to shrink? What's the advantage for the owners of the Golden Toast company?"
This, as you can imagine, bothered me greatly. In fact, it grew to such extents that my life was going down the drain. I couldn't concentrate at school. I lost interest in all my hobbies. My family all thought that I was being pathetic and that I should get myself a life. I couldn't sleep at nights.
I ran a significant number of tests on slices of Golden Toast, but couldn't get to the bottom of this mystery. All that was left to do was to go and see the big boss at Golden Toast inc. I packed my bags and left. This was, after all a matter of life and death to me.
When I finally arrived at the doorstep of Golden Toast HQ, security wouldn't let me in, so I despairingly charged past them and stormed in the office of the man that had ruined my life. I stood before him, all baffled, and demanded to get an answer to this question. He did not look surprised, nor did he look confused. He was merely sad that someone had finally seen through their evil plan. Which I ofcourse had not, but he clearly thought that the suspicion of a plan of taking over the planet would naturally follow my discovery of the shrinking toast.
Fortunately, I was smart enough no to tell him that I didn’t know anything about the plan, so he told me the whole story. It’s way too long and way too melodramatic to be repeated in this text that tries to keep to the point, which is of course Golden Toast and the changes in its size rather than Demented plans. The bottom line was that he was going to deceive people with the shrinking toast and make them eat more and more of it, since the slices were too small to satisfy anyone’s hunger. He would gain money and then tell people about the shrinking toast. In the global confusion and people being low on resources due to unnatural amount of toast-shopping, it would be easy for him to take over the world.
I was, naturally, speechless. This plan was the most evil thing ever after those small rectangular things you can find in car parks in Leeds or Cologne, you know, those...Back to the point. The rest of the story is very obvious, I reported him to the police, he paid me 100, 000, 000 dollars and then he was sentenced to death. Soon after his execution I returned home. I could finally get on my life. Things were back to normal.
I told you this story, friends, to point out that in anything you take for normal aspects of everyday life, there may just lie a master plan to enslave the whole population of earth. So stay sharp, good people! Never let your attention be drawn away from the small details. And be prepared to take action should you encounter such abnormalities.
You can save the world.
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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vhilhu
Famous Hero
We are NOT schysophren
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posted May 08, 2007 06:20 PM |
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indeed, this could happen to all of us.
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Two little Gnoll boys sitting in the sun;
One got frizzled up and then there was one.
One little Gnoll boy left all alone;
He went and hung himself and then there were none.
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 08, 2007 09:37 PM |
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Yes. Take the chance, Vhilhu. Be a hero
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted May 08, 2007 09:48 PM |
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Damn! 
Now I know why I've been dreaming about "Flying toasters" everywhere
you wouldn't want to know the outcome of each dream
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 08, 2007 09:52 PM |
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You wanna be careful with those dreams man...No one knows what'll happen if you get too much information on what will happen in the future of toast-related revolutions
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted May 08, 2007 09:56 PM |
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That's exactly my fear.
That's also why I keep the outcome information top secret 
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 08, 2007 10:03 PM |
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Good idea
*Whispers*
Be sure to IM me the outcome information, eh?
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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Homer171
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted May 08, 2007 10:07 PM |
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Edited by pandora at 20:38, 09 May 2007.
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Good story but now i'm really hungry 
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 08, 2007 10:09 PM |
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Edited by pandora at 20:38, 09 May 2007.
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I just finished all the Golden Toasts at home... damnit
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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pandora
Honorable
Legendary Hero
The Chosen One
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posted May 09, 2007 08:39 PM |
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Quote:
Note: posts or public profile settings in languages other than English may be removed without notice, as moderators often have no easy way of verifying whether they contain a breach of Heroes Community Code of Conduct.
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 09, 2007 08:45 PM |
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Sorry
Well just for the record, he asked me to send him a slice and I told him he might need two, since they're so small.
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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Card_Ximinez
Famous Hero
no
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posted May 10, 2007 05:52 PM |
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He's right you know.
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wtf this still exists
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 11, 2007 04:35 PM |
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Thank you, Card. I can always count on you to back me up on my why-does-toast-shrink-in-the-toaster theories
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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