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| Thread: Giving Birth to a man? | |
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted September 11, 2007 04:26 AM |
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Giving Birth to a man?
So here you go, I have heard everything now! I thought having children was painful but having a midget lodged in my poo-d-poo, oh **** wheres the Tylenol?
www.theonion.com/content/node/29871 - 33k
"ALBUQUERQUE, NM—In a bizarre case that has baffled medical professionals across the country, surgeons at Albuquerque's Veteran's Memorial Hospital removed a living eight-pound man from the confines of an area woman's vagina Monday.
Enlarge Image
Hessman
The unusually small man, who has refused to identify himself or give a reason for his presence in the vagina, was extremely disoriented throughout the incident, and, according to eyewitnesses, was "nude and covered in blood and gore." Though the man strenuously resisted rescue attempts, screaming and kicking wildly at medical personnel, he has not yet been charged with any crime.
The woman, Ruth Hessman, a 33-year-old systems analyst from nearby Plovis, was admitted to Veteran's Memorial Hospital late Sunday night complaining of strange, repeated abdominal pains and contractions occurring at regular intervals. When the painful episodes were five minutes apart, her husband drove her to the hospital.
"We get all kinds of strange things here in the emergency unit," said Dr. Carlos Mendoza, a surgeon at Veteran's General, "but this was something new. At first glance, Mrs. Hessman appeared to be obese, but upon closer examination, it became apparent that she was actually suffering from severe abdominal distension. After she described her painful symptoms, we conducted an examination of her vagina. Imagine our shock and surprise when we discovered that there, looking back at us, was a tiny human head."
After overcoming their initial shock, doctors discovered that the grotesque miniature head belonged to a small man. The attending physicians performed emergency surgery to forcibly remove him, and notified local police.
"At this time, we have no idea how this man came to be situated within the woman's vagina, or what motivation he might have had for being there," said Albuquerque police chief Burke Manning. "His dazed state, public defecating and lack of clothing suggest that he is a mentally ill homeless man who was seeking shelter. Yet it's hard to believe that someone so feeble and mentally disturbed would be capable of such an intrusion. We have not ruled out the possibility that he had help."
Manning is advising Albuquerque residents to stay calm. "This is likely an isolated event," he said. "But we are nevertheless considering conducting a search of all area vagina's to see if any more small, naked men are on the prowl."
The eight-pound man has thus far refused to cooperate with police, responding to all questions with strange gurgling noises. He is also prone to sudden, violent mood swings, resting peacefully one moment and wailing uncontrollably the next. Adding to the difficulty of establishing the man's identity is his almost complete lack of fingerprints and teeth, making a match with federal records impossible.
"This man seems to have undergone some sort of massive trauma within the last 24 hours which has, in effect, wiped his memory clean and turned his mind into a blank slate," Mendoza said. "To be honest, this case couldn't be any weirder if a stork had dropped him out of the sky."
My God what do you think he was looking for besides a prayer and an exit?
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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roy-algriffin
Supreme Hero
Chocolate ice cream zealot
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posted September 11, 2007 05:02 AM |
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Waiiit this person was born inside the womb of a women . Hiding there? God im baffled
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"Am i a demon? No im a priest of the light! THE BLOODY RED LIGHT"
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted September 11, 2007 05:05 AM |
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Who knows, I don't think that I want to know but I thought that I would die when I read it. *Changing panties as we speak, I think I peed a little.*
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted September 11, 2007 08:18 AM |
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Man when your old enough to bleed your old enough to breed.
Now i heard it all lol.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted September 11, 2007 09:52 AM |
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Whoever this intruder turns out to be, he deserves to be put behind bars.
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted September 11, 2007 12:10 PM |
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omg...
A round of applause to VF.
You have found the weirdest and most ****** up story I've ever heard (and there's more than a few) 
haha omg..............................................
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted September 11, 2007 04:43 PM |
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If someone there doesn't get this.
It's a joke.
They are talking about a baby and a labour
Great one VF
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
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posted September 11, 2007 05:29 PM |
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FOG that is too funny. It is like the vagina snatcher got loose. 
TA it makes me wonder how desperate little men really are!
Some days I wish I would not be pron to reading stories like that but come on this is too damn funny.
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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Vlaad
Admirable
Legendary Hero
ghost of the past
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posted September 11, 2007 06:14 PM |
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Quote:
If someone there doesn't get this.
It's a joke.
They are talking about a baby and a labour
Wrong, JoonasTo! It's Mr. Snoid! 
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bixie
Promising
Legendary Hero
my common sense is tingling!
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posted September 11, 2007 07:02 PM |
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its like that episode of south park were kenny becomes a dare devil. where he climbs into his bus drivers vagina and stays there for a day.
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Love, Laugh, Learn, Live.
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted September 12, 2007 01:10 PM |
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Quote:
its like that episode of south park were kenny becomes a dare devil. where he climbs into his bus drivers vagina and stays there for a day.
no its worse because she didn't even know it was there! it's a mystery!
need detective elliot stabler from Law and Order
man should be put in jail!
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