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| Thread: Why are you the way you are? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · «PREV |
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DagothGares
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posted August 12, 2008 04:42 PM |
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Quote:
Ouch, that must've hurt!
You'd be surprised. It looked worse than it was, but I forgot to make a point later on that, when you read Harry Potter with a similar scar on your head, it's a lot of fun.
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JoonasTo
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What if Elvin was female?
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posted August 12, 2008 09:23 PM |
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Now I know why you like Richard so much.
Quote:
the group "lordi" influenced my way of thinking.
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TitaniumAlloy
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Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted August 13, 2008 02:01 PM |
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Quote:
The two influential factors in my life are HC
Serious?
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John says to live above hell.
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DagothGares
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No gods or kings
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posted August 13, 2008 02:05 PM |
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Well, I spend a lot of time, here. My english does improve and OSM also changes my point of view on the world. Also when I want to be escapist, I come here.
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JoonasTo
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What if Elvin was female?
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posted February 19, 2014 09:18 PM |
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Edited by JoonasTo at 21:20, 19 Feb 2014.
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I feel the need to revisit the topic of this thread. After more time I think I can write about things more openly. There's also a lot to me that I've tried to keep from HC simply because. GenieLord once asked me if I wanted to talk about my experiences after a mass convo in MSN, which revolved around the topic of teen sex and virginity. I wasn't ready back then, I could only link him to this and tell him it applied to me. I have shared some of this in bits and pieces across different topics on the forum but not fully and not always in such a coherent form. I haven't always been that honest either. I like to think a half-a-decade later I can share about myself more openly. No. I need to be more honest with you, but more importantly, with myself.
If you've read my post about this topic before you probably noticed that I didn't really talk that much about myself, more about what happened around me. Especially about my teen years. I'll start by remedying that.
I'm a misogynist, racist and an eugenicist. If you wish to discuss more about these please hit me up by HCM, no messing up this thread.
I'm not above average intelligence as I said. I'm smart enough to make it into the triple nines with flying colours. I'm very strong willed beyond reason, I will not yield if I am not proven wrong. Shoot my family, cut my legs, it won't matter. I am very hard to make real friends with but I hold absolute loyalty towards those that I have deemed worthy. I will kill for them, literally. I hold everyone on the same line from the start but I don't give second chances. I keep what I promise. Absolutely, no exceptions. You will not find a better worker if you can motivate me for something. I will exceed all expectations and crush all goals. That's if you can motivate me. That's a big if. I am very hard to motivate for anything. I am ready to help anyone in need, any time. Patience is my virtue, if you manage to anger me, consider yourself a very special person. I can count the number of times I've been angry in the last ten years with one finger. I don't value life. I'm a compulsive liar. Have been since I was small. I can be very good at it. My parents have not been able to distinguish my lies since I was six. This has made some parts of my life considerably easier.
I'm also obsessive-compulsive, addhd and sociopathic. None of these three are natural traits. They are all learned behaviour but more about that later. I've also known since I was five that I was supposed to have been born a woman. Must be some snow up in my upstairs department. I'm not sure how or why. I “resigned to my fate” about it quite early. Not much you can do about it. But if someone were to give me a magic chance to change sides I'd do it in a heartbeat.
The reason I'm writing all of this down right now is that my head feels like a complete mess and I can't make sense out of it. I can feel myself starting to spiral downwards to where I once was and I know exactly where this leads, I don't want to go there again. I know this sounds cryptic but bear with me here. I'll explain it as I go. My life is based on strong moral/duty codes I've developed during my life so far. Last autumn I realised I had fulfilled all of those. I had no obligation to anything or anyone any more. Not even myself. This is where it all began to slowly eat away at the back of my mind. Now after half-a-year it's starting to effect my daily life and ability to function as a part of the society.
I've sometimes mentioned that I had really bad nightmares as a kid. Normal nightmares that have to do with monsters, dinosaurs, whatever too but those never really affected my life. I'd just crawl to my parents bed and be safe and sound again. No, the real bad ones would be completely dark. With nothing but a voice blaming me for something. It never had a clear focus. Just a voice where I would know it was blaming me. It would start barely audible and keep getting stronger and stronger. I would eventually wake up from the anxiety. If it was only that I would have been fine. But the voice didn't stop when I would wake up. It would keep getting stronger even when I was awake. I would need someone to talk to me and comfort me for it to stop. Then I started hearing the voice when I was awake. It would have a trigger, simply being in a very quiet environment was one. The worst thing in all of it was that it was my father's voice. For a small child this was traumatising. I started being overly cautious about stuff. I would become anxious if I could not take even amount of steps on the carpet before walking on the floor. Always needed to tap things twice. Have some things in a certain order. Ridiculous things like that become a must for me. It practically made me obsessive-compulsive.
I think why it came to pass was a mix of multiple things. I have very sensitive hearing(way above 20kHz and very good volume wise) which lead to me developing tinnitus early in my life. I have also always been very hard headed. This lead to a number of confrontations with my father. Now I am the first born and my grandfather was a drunk. So my father wasn't exactly the best when it came to resolving these confrontations and more often than once I got punished physically. Especially when I was small. I'm not talking a slap on the wrist here. Proper spanking with a wooden whip, belt or lifting me up from my hair and shaking. One occasion I didn't want to take a shower and after some time my father promptly grabbed me by the hair and started dragging me to the bathroom, which was on the other side of the house. On the way there I grabbed everything I could get my hands on and hang on to them with all my strength, door handles, mats, corners, closet doors, tables, chairs. Of course I was weaker than him and I ended up in the shower with all my clothes on. My father has later told me he was honestly afraid my hair would come off on a number of occasions. But that was not that bad of an experience in comparison. What really hurt was the humiliation from having to go get the birch branch for whipping. The whipping itself was painful as you might imagine but pain was nothing compared to the feeling of oppression on the way to getting the whip. I will never forgive him for that. I believe it was the combination of fear/respect, tinnitus, and over active imagination that lead to the nightmares that eventually spread over to real life and made me that way.
I should note here that I eventually got rid of the nightmares and I don't have a bad obsessive-compulsive habit any more either. It did take a lot of concious effort to get rid of that and I still do it sometimes if I don't pay attention.
Now I'm not sure addhd is the correct term for my inability to stay concentrated on one thing for long. It might be too specific. I simply become unable to do something or at least start under-performing badly after a time. I used to read books in school at class. I used to play a computer game, watch TV, read comic books and listen to the radio all at the same time as a kid/teen too. I find it very difficult to accomplish something I'm not really motivated to. Thanks to my intelligence this has never really affected my performance in education. I've always got great grades and I pass all exams without studying for them. I also think my intelligence is the number one reason for this behaviour. Because I have never been presented with real challenges I never needed to work for anything. This prevented me from developing the habit for it. Another probably cause is that I was never really rewarded for doing something I didn't want to, I was just punished if I didn't do it. This caused me to develop a system of least effort where I avoid things in order to not have to work for them. This is a real problem. If I don't get motivated for something I have a very hard time accomplishing it. I will lose interest really quickly and after I do I will get so bored I will become unable to accomplish the goal. This shows in my hobbies and work history. I have worked in practically every field out there and it's starting to get easier to list the professions I haven't done. I have never held a job for six months. I've always quit before that. I've also got two unfinished university degrees. My latter international business and economics degree only the final 50 page thesis from completion. I've also written two of theses for it half ready and dropped them. Now I'm looking for a new job again. I wasn't always this way, as a small kid I was really into a lot of things. My parents tell me one particular experience with a school project in lower grade where I really worked but got only decent grade because I had more actual information and not that many pretty pictures as the others might have something to do with this too. I've always had a very strong sense of justice(I'm a Finn, d'uh, we're all obsessed with it, but even for a Finn) so that might have some truth to it.
A side note here: when I really get to work on something my work ethic is completely over the top. I find it hard to stop anything I'm really bent on doing if it's not done. I also concentrate on what I'm doing and on nothing else. I might not even sleep or eat. So all those jobs I've worked, in all of them they've begged me to stay.
Naturally I'm a really strong empath, hyper sensitive to emotions and a very sensitive person. It caused me a lot of problems in my childhood. I became very, very emotionally attached to characters in stories, books and films. I was also hurt really easily. On he flip side, I could read people like an open book when I was just eight years old. Now I started getting bullied and with the way my mind was wired I couldn't take it. I had to change. So change I did. I started building up a wall between my heart and my mind. Blocking all emotions from ever surfacing. It took me years but I did build that wall. As time went on it became thicker and thicker. By the time my grandfather died I was ten-and-a-half years old. My father came home crying, hugged me and my brother while telling us he was dead. I was one of the men carrying him to his grave in the funeral. Didn't feel a thing, it was a simple “So he is dead.” It had went beyond keeping my emotions from coming to surface or effecting me, it kept them from ever happening at all. My armour between my mind and my heart would keep strengthening and by the time I finished lower grade, as cliché as it sounds, I was practically dead inside.
Humans are not supposed to live without emotions. It starts to eat away at your soul. You will lose all respect for life. Life loses it's meaning. This happened little by little but it really hit me during my teens when I needed to start rationalising to myself why I kept on living. Every. Single. Night. It took three months of arguing with myself to come up with the simple solution to that question: “There is nothing to be gained by not existing.” That's right, after three months of self-reflection I came to the conclusion that killing myself was too much of a bother. I even managed to fool myself with repeated self-deception to believing there is nothing worse than not existing. At least partially. It is still the end of my logical thought process but I don't really believe in it any more. I have never held my life in high regard though. I would have, and always will, be willing to risk my life against very bad odds, as long as death's not certain. Because of that I have never valued anyone else's life either. I would kill my own family for money without a second thought. Elvin once said to me: ”I'd hate to have you as an enemy, people who have nothing to lose are the most dangerous ones.” He likes that idiom(hate to have you as an enemy) but in this case it is spot on.
This weak solution to my issue of suicide didn't come easily. I was on the verge often before I came to grips with it. My father stopped my attempt once(though unintentionally), I might not be here writing this if not for that. He recognised it instantly, perhaps because he is the one whom I inherited my empathic abilities from. I managed to downplay and ultimately convince him that I wasn't trying to kill myself. Even if he didn't believe it, he didn't really want to accept the alternative either and there were no repercussions about it. Looking back at it that might have been a turning point in the process, from where it started to progress “favourably”.
It takes more than simple personal solution to change. While my suicidal thoughts slowly faded as I become more and more convinced I was actually right my life still stayed the same. When I say the same, I feel it needs some explanation. I know I've recited this story multiple times before, sometimes in more and sometimes in less detail. This will also explain why, as some of you know, I'm an adrenaline junkie. So let's go for a flashback.
Young Joonas is quite the tall fellow. His 14th trip around the sun has just began and he is already 185cm tall(6'2”). Handsome and well along to his puberty. Has a condition that prohibits him from experiencing emotions normally. Starts upper grade in the city. Has experience with both alcohol(beer at five, vodka at eight) and cigarettes(eight). Even with hallucinogenic substances that you can find from the nature(seven). But no addiction to any of those, occasional pleasure user. Five years of Karate and four of scouts. Thus physically fit. Possesses prime fighting skills and is able to lie himself out of jail. First week of new school, there is a tradition of seniors “washing” the new boys in the toilet(drowning them in the can for a minute, perhaps repeatedly). There is a three year older senior(who didn't pass class and was thus repeating a year) who has some history with Joonas. He intends to “wash” Joonas. Teachers find the senior in question with a broken nose and face grit in asphalt later that day. No one tries to wash Joonas again.
The whole class at school is quite unruly. Joonas can get great grades even without working. Straight A student. Misses one third of the classes but so do a lot of the others and if he keeps his grades up who cares? Joonas always sleep 12-14 hours a night. People think it's a little odd but a growing boy needs his rest. What they don't know is that Joonas isn't sleeping 12-14 hours every night. Some nights he goes out from his window and heads to town. He returns with his knuckles opened up and bruises. Lucky for him his parents leave for work before he heads to school, if he heads for school. He has a habit of hitting the concrete wall at the school to excuse his knuckles. The fights bring him an adrenaline rush that feeds itself more and more. He starts to become snappy when he doesn't get his fix. Ends up throwing his former best friend against a steel cabinet high on the wall at school, breaking the cabinet. It gets written off as Joonas is a good student and his former best friend is a troublemaker. The nights he doesn't get out he often ends up whimpering in bed. Sometimes cutting himself in the arm to feel something. The pain pierces his mind and the endorphines soothe it all out from reality. Some nights he prays to the gods, both old and new, even characters from fiction, to take himself from this world and transport him into another. They never do. Of course he knows this, he read the bible when he was ten and that was enough to make him sure that, the Christian god at least, didn't exist. But even if there was an impossibly small chance, it was worth it. The times he really feels alive are the nights he is out on town, fighting.
One such night Joonas thinks he sees someone he recognises. He is right. It's a girl from other side of town who also does Karate. Out on a Tuesday night at 3 am. The two end up in a fight. Joonas gets a broken lip in the fight. Doesn't have a good way to excuse that. Bites his own lip at breakfast the next day. The two meet at Karate practice the next day. They are in charge of the kids' practice that day. They agree to meet Thursday night at town. These nightly meetings become a habit. They both start hanging out at the town more. They end up meeting a lot more, on nights they don't have dates too. They fight a lot, they both like it. They get into fights together. They have sex after. They start drinking more often. They start smoking more often. They start breaking into buildings. They start stealing. They don't always fight, sometimes they just hang. But they never meet in public. It's like a double-life, it's exciting. Somehow normal life start to fade away. More and more absences from school. They both quit all their hobbies and start to drift apart from their other friends. One night during summer Joonas is out at town, bumps into three guys he has all beaten up before on separate occasions. Three against one he fights valiantly but ultimately gets his ass kicked. Hard. Everything starts to get blurry and there are black spots in his memory. What he does remember is one of the guys' head shot forward and fell to the ground face first, passed out. A baseball bat or a metal pipe, he couldn't really make out at that point any more. His fallen angel had arrived. The next thing he remembers is waking up with a head splitting headache. Looking to his left he sees a couple of empty spirit bottles. Painkillers his still grogged mind tells him. He recognises the place. It's an abandoned house half-way from town. There are also bandages lying next to the bottles. He isn't sure if his headache is from the spirits or the fight but what he is sure that the pain in his side when he tries to get up can only be one thing, broken ribs. He grimaces and lies back down. She must have walked him all the way from town to here and knocked him out with the alcohol while treating him. He knows enough about treating injuries due to his family that there really isn't anything one can do about broken ribs than wait for them to heal. He is more concerned about his face. One can always cover up bruises in the body but snowed up face is always visible. There are no mirrors in the building. He was lucky that time. His face was relatively untouched. He could work with that. This didn't discourage him, if anything it encouraged him. It encouraged them both. He healed from his injuries and was right back at it.
Next half-a-year went by and it seemed like they could keep at it forever. That was until they ran into gypsies for the first time. He got a knife through his left palm and a deep cut on the outside of his right. They got away safely in the end. They patched up the wounds but he didn't really have a way to explain this. A slipped folding knife and a snow up in metalworking class miraculously gets him through. They start carrying knives from that day onwards. Once he has to pull it out. He gets another knife through his left palm, this time right between his fingers. He cuts the other guy's arm and forehead and gets the snow out of there. He stays out of town for a while but returns as no one seems to be coming to ask for him. Things return to normal. He is on his last year in school. One spring night she tells him that her parents are moving to Netherlands and she has to go with them. When he asks? As soon as the school ends. Eventually they part as she moves away never to see each other again. It is in good terms and in a way he is grateful for this. He looks back at his life. He was lucky in general. Not once did the police catch him. Not once did he get his nose broken. A broken finger, broken ribs, a couple of knife defence wounds sure, but never bad ones on his face. Nothing he couldn't deal with. He is addicted to adrenaline. A short burst from a stressful situation makes him completely out of control but as soon as it sets he starts shaking like someone with Alzheimer's. He has come to grips with his issue on suicide, stopped cutting himself and he realises things have to change. He drops drinking, smoking and fighting. All over night. This was it for him. He will now live a different life. A life where he will enjoy every little thing, a life of easy, laid-back peace.
I succeeded there. I simply decided to change my life and I did. Of course losing my “partner in crime,” finishing school and going to voluntary secondary education was a huge help. I had a clean slate, in a school I chose to go to. I reconnected better with my friends again, made some new ones, started being more active in HC, got a new girlfriend(a new age super light person this time, total opposite of the last one). I had a solid base for my morals that I had developed. There were still issues though. I still had that wall between my mind and my heart and I was even more intent on keeping it up. I wanted to push all that adrenaline back there too. Now those here that have known me somewhat better for longer know that it was the reason I never joined any tournaments(like Elvin's duel tourneys). I feared that the adrenaline from competitions would get through. Rightfully so, my first casual game against Elvin had me shaking like an aspen leaf. Those who here who are close to me also know that sometimes my wall would just come crushing down and I would turn into an emotional roller-coaster. Usually this was due to being sick and tired that wore down on me and pushed me beyond the breaking point. Dagoth once referred to it, quite fittingly I might add, as “Joonas' man periods.” Regardless, it was a great success. I didn't skip single class, I started exercising again. I played underwater rugby, I skied, I jogged, I worked out, I cycled.(Not that my physical condition didn't fall during this time, I was a snowing machine when I finished primary education) I laddered C&C 3(and kicked Mamga's ass in it!). I hanged out with friends, I got my driver's license. I went fishing a lot again. I eventually graduated with good papers, not as good as I could have but still enough to get into any university. But as well as everything went it wasn't full hearted. I couldn't give myself fully into that life. My girlfriend especially needed more that I simply couldn't give and she saw it. It was good but it wasn't perfect. When she went to tertiary education on the other side of Finland after secondary we simply agreed it was best to end it there.
So know you know a little more of why I am the way I am.
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted February 19, 2014 09:21 PM |
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- Thank you for the wall of text, Joonas.
- You are welcome, everyone.
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fred79
Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 19, 2014 11:14 PM |
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nice read. i couldn't help but see a lot of my own history and self in your story. 
you should know, that this kind of thing happens when you bottle it up. holding back your adrenaline needs, as well, will only make them come out that much stronger. you should find something to allow it out in small amounts, otherwise, you'll explode, and it could have possibly fatal results.
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted February 19, 2014 11:27 PM |
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Edited by JoonasTo at 23:29, 19 Feb 2014.
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I was expecting you to be one of the people who would read that. Somehow I knew it would resonate, I wonder why... 
No, no about the adrenaline though. I like to avoid building it up so I don't have to bottle it at all. I have gotten pretty good at it too. Can't explode without the fuel. Calm mind, serene heart, cliche
Plus it's an addiction, I don't want to relapse. You know how it goes.
That said, I did smoke occasionally when picking up women and never did get back to that so it's not like it can be done but adrenaline was a lot, lot worse than smoking for me.
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fred79
Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 19, 2014 11:41 PM |
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Edited by fred79 at 23:43, 19 Feb 2014.
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you know, those special little things we are never go away. if you try to suppress them, and you somehow don't explode(like you did verbally here), your "traits" will manifest themselves in other ways. you will find yourself doing other things, that are equally as self-destructive, in other words.
as for being serene? what happens if something comes along and breaks through your "meditation"? the dam will open up. and all those things you try to keep under your thumb will end up breaking your arm when they come out to play.
why do you think i react so quickly(with anger) to things? i'm full, and i know what it's like, to snap. i've done so 3 times. every time, i wondered if i would ever come back to myself. it's not fun. it's like opening a void inside you, that nothing will ever fill up.
regardless, it's nice to see someone else on here like myself. not exactly, but pretty close. 
(needless quote + error correction)
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted February 20, 2014 12:05 AM |
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Edited by JoonasTo at 00:06, 20 Feb 2014.
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Yes, I know. And once an addict, always an addict. What I wouldn't give for a smoke right now...
There was that one time I got angry. That was some three years back. A classmate at uni was harassing me for the stupidest thing. She was down with the flu and her head wasn't working quite right then. Very judgemental and trying to guilt trip me. Didn't work. But what did work was her take on it. Like I mentioned, her head wasn't working right and she came on - animalistic would be a good word I think - kinda primal. It hit some totally unknown nerve just right. Complete off-switch of all mental barriers. She has some experience in muyi thai and she was obviously confident in it. She was still a head shorter than me and probably 40-50 lbs lighter. I knew I could have squashed her like a bug in the blink of an eye if I wanted to. She didn't. That feeling of power and adrenaline came on so strong I can't even describe it. I managed catch myself before I flew completely off the saddle but that was a really good reminder of what I have inside. Of what I am.
As a side effect I was really attracted to her for a couple of months because of that. I didn't even like her as a person + she was way below my normal standards but I enjoyed that moment so much it imprinted on her. Something in the way she acted, perhaps her hormones were all messed up because of the flu, I don't know. Just flipped a switch I had thought I had gotten rid of. It never happened again so hard to know for sure what it was exactly.
I shall try my best to remain less snowed up than you to not outbalance this place too much.
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Baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 20, 2014 04:57 AM |
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Quote:
One spring night she tells him that her parents are moving to Netherlands and she has to go with them.
I swear to Christ, at this point, I thought you were going to end it with "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air".
That's one hell of a story, man. It's unusual, sure, and you've admitted several times to be a compulsive liar, but as I always say, I'm a Christian. I have no problems believing highly improbable shyte.
What I do have, however, are a few questions.
First and foremost, if nature did its job right and you turned out to be a woman as you believe you were supposed to, would you have been hot?
Secondly, would you have been a misogynist then?
Lastly, how on Earth are you "ready to help anyone, any time", if you specifically stated you're a sociopathic eugenicist with no value for human life?
Can't say I know you much, but I don't think you're really genuinely any of those, just that things got f-ed up somewhere along the way and you managed to get it back together, leaving you a smart, physically fit young guy with a shyteload of hobbies and interests and miraculous f-ing lying powers. Living in a country that's as developed as they get. As upper-middle-class.
You understand, therefore, that your plight does not resonate all that well in Eastern Europe. Or anywhere outside the Western world, I'd imagine.
As for how you're feeling, well, with the despicable shyte you did, and the way it turned out, you can always write a book. A cross between Clockwork Orange and Fight Club, and based on a true story (from a first person perspective, so you don't need to have too much writing style, either). Hell, I know I'd read it. Throw in some movie rights and it'd net you shytetons of money, which you could then give to poor people and that former best mate of yours and clear your conscience.
Or buy a villa and a yacht, and at least ensure your ticket to hell is first class.
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 20, 2014 05:18 AM |
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Baklava said:
First and foremost, if nature did its job right and you turned out to be a woman as you believe you were supposed to, would you have been hot?
What if Joonas was female?
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Eccentric Opinion
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Baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 20, 2014 05:24 AM |
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Well, that would explain him getting his arse handed to him by a chick.
Seriously, not a visible bruise before her? What was she, Chinese?
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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kayna
Supreme Hero
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posted February 20, 2014 07:57 AM |
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I am who I am because of what was done to me, both good and bad, and what I've decided to model myself into after I awakened my conscience, and I reject most innate arguments except the most obvious ones, even when they are true.
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fred79
Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 20, 2014 09:32 AM |
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JoonasTo said:
I shall try my best to remain less snowed up than you to not outbalance this place too much.
meh, i'm fine. it is my firm belief that everyone is damaged to some degree, and people just do their best to cope with their damage.
i'm not going to post what makes me, me, for many reasons. mostly, because of what i stand for, and who i am, as it is not palatable for most people. i couldn't even talk about my history, not all of it.
what i can say, is that one big difference between you and i is that i prefer to tell the truth. people tend to not like the truth, it threatens their ego's, their safety bubbles, and the lies they tell themselves. the lack of truth, to me, is what keeps humans, as a race, from progressing further than they are now, in mental growth. it slows mental evolution to a grinding halt.
another big difference, is that i love my family. even if i am so utterly unlike them, and most everyone i know. i love them, and indeed, most everyone, because of this, and how frail their little "worlds" are. they are like children, believing in santa claus, the easter bunny, or fairies(i'm not talking about just religion here), and i find it endearing, even though it is frustrating. like an ill-mannered kid that you cannot help but love, because they know how to melt your heart. (gay, i know. shaddup.)
let's see, also on the list of unlike things: racism(there are things i dislike about every race), misogyny(both sexes have traits i don't care for), etc, etc. like i said, i can't really go into specifics.
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted February 20, 2014 06:08 PM |
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Edited by JoonasTo at 18:36, 20 Feb 2014.
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That depends on your preferences Bak. Do you find Kelly Garrett hot? A little taller and a little more legs and a little curvier would probably be quite spot on of what I would have looked like. I've always taken after my mother in looks. Kelly Garrett is pretty close. Taking into account the average height difference of 15cm between Finnish men and women I'd be around 175 tall. I assume my proportions would be about the same so I'd have long legs. I am the kind that can eat anything and not get fat so no issues there. Also always had great ass, I doubt that would change too much, even if women are inherently handicapped. Probably a not too big chested judging from my family, C would probably be a good guess.
To the misogynist, yes, I believe so. Not the thread for it.
You don't have to value human life to help someone. The two are in no way related. I would also kill anyone for money. But I do believe there is no good reason not to help someone if you are capable of it. It also has way more benefits than negatives, which doesn't hurt.
I think I need to revisit my post because we seem to have a number of miscommunications. Anyway to clear some up.
I'm not upper middle class. Myself I'm currently working class and my parents are working class/lower middle class. But this is Finland, there isn't that much of a difference between working class/middle class. It's only if you are a double doctor family or something that it creates a real difference in the quality of life. So if the country as a whole is doing badly, pretty much everyone's life sucks. I grew up in the great depression of the 90s so I had nothing as a kid. Then Nokia pulled the whole country up with it and the 00s were good again. Not up to the 80s or 70s but still good. 10s don't seem too shabby but definitely worse than 00s.
I have no plight either, never have had.
I also don't feel bad about what I did nor do I find it despicable.
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Seriously, not a visible bruise before her?
Of course I've had bruises all my life. I was born a boy. I was full of bruises, all the time as a kid. I did Karate too, how do you think you can get away with years of getting your ass handed to you without bruises?
At least were on the same page about the villa and the yacht. I'd choose that. If I actually made any money or had the choice. I'm Finnish, they tax my money to the poor anyway.
Too bad that would never sell and you pretty much read it already
EDIT: I don't know where those come from, perhaps just so different a culture?
Of course she wasn't chinese she was finnish
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 24, 2014 02:48 AM |
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If you've read my post about this topic before you probably noticed that I didn't really talk that much about myself, more about what happened around me. Especially about my teen years. I'll start by remedying that.
I don't see where is the problem? not everyone has to be noobx
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