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| Thread: Geekiest Joke (A contest) |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · NEXT» |
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bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
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posted February 08, 2002 03:36 PM |
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Geekiest Joke (A contest)
Just wanted to see who can come up with/ knows the geekiest joke around. I'll start (I didn't make this one up, but I find it funny in a really twisted masochist sort of way).
Q. Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A. To get to the same side!
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darkspirit
Famous Hero
aka Zutus
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posted February 08, 2002 04:33 PM |
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what's a donkey with three legs??? ===> a wonkey 
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Young moles appear to be in full dispersal which means there are more moles per acre than at any other time of the year
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted February 08, 2002 05:21 PM |
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Umm... Why is that, Darkspirit? And how about this one:
Two cats were sitting at a lake. One of them said :"Meow!". Then the other one replied :"Hey, I was going to say that!".
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Yolk and God bless.
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My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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darkspirit
Famous Hero
aka Zutus
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posted February 08, 2002 06:05 PM |
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well, wonkey means wobly...
got another one: There are two nuns sitting in a bath, the first nun asks:"Where's the soap?" the other nun replies:"Yes...it does..."
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Young moles appear to be in full dispersal which means there are more moles per acre than at any other time of the year
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted February 08, 2002 06:37 PM |
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This will be quiteeasy to win...
Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field
Without a doubt the worst joke ever.
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 Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
http://aozos.com/phpBB2/index.php
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Wyvern
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted February 08, 2002 09:33 PM |
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Here is a "great" joke:
A donkey entered a pharmacy. It asked the sales person: "Excuse me, do you have coal?". The sales person answered: "No, we don't". "No problem, I'm with bicycle", said the donkey and jumped into the shaft.
Did you understand anything?
Another similar "great" joke:
Two rooks flew, flew, especially the third. The first asked: "What's the time?". The second one pulled out a thermometre and answered: "Tuesday". What is the conclusion? Whoever doesn't have a colour TV, won't eat a pie!
Again, did you understand anything?
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted February 08, 2002 09:40 PM |
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A duck walks into a bar:
DUCK: Got any bread?
BARMAN: No
DUCK: Ok, bye
Next day: Duck walks into the bar:
DUCK: Got any bread?
BARMAN: Look, I already said, no!
DUCK: OK, bye
Next day: Duck walks into a bar:
DUCK: Got any bread?
BARMAN: For the last time no! And if you come in here and as for bread 1 more time I will nail your beak to this bar!!!!!
DUCK: Ok, bye
Next day: Duck walks into a bar:
DUCK: Got any nails?
BARMAN: No, why would I have nails?!
DUCK: Oh, good. Got any bread?
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Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
http://aozos.com/phpBB2/index.php
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insatiable
Supreme Hero
Ultimate N00bidity
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posted February 08, 2002 09:47 PM |
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__A Sandwich goes to a bar and asks for a pint of beer...
...the bartender stretches his arm and points to a sign saying:WE DONT SERVE FOOD
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Conn
Responsible
Famous Hero
God slayer
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posted February 08, 2002 10:08 PM |
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I hope none og you cops out there mind...
On the evening news: " A helicopter with five ppl on board crashed this afternoon in a graveyard. The police report 300 dead and are still searching..."
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 Whatever does not kill us, only makes us stronger
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StormWarning
Promising
Famous Hero
Archmage of Thunder
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posted February 08, 2002 10:22 PM |
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Nice ones Cat and Conn
Here's one most people won't get unless they've taken physics.
Heisenberg got pulled over for speeding. The cop asked him, "Do you know how fast you were going?" He replied, "No, but I know where I am."
*rim shot*
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The calm before the storm is about to end.
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bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
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posted February 08, 2002 10:41 PM |
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Possibly the worst one ever:
Two atoms bump into eachother.
First atom : Crap, I lost an electron.
Second atom : are you sure?
First atom : I'm positive.
Seen scratched into the desk in a physics class:
Heisenberg may have been here.
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ShadowLord
Promising
Famous Hero
of Dope
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posted February 08, 2002 11:13 PM |
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Osama goes to hell.......
Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," the devil says. "You're on my list, but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do: I've got a couple of people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil led him into the first room.
In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," bin Laden said, "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
So the devil led him to the next room. In it was the Ayatollah Khomeini with a sledgehammer and a huge pile of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I'd be in constant agony if all I did was break rocks all day," bin Laden commented.
So the devil opened a third door. In it, bin Laden saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was his girl Monica, doing what she does best. Osama bin Laden stared in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
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Do I need DRUGS when I have HEROES?
Heroes == Good
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Nickman77
Famous Hero
from Poland.
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posted February 08, 2002 11:29 PM |
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Here is another:
A man went to a town and saw a inscription.
"If U drive 70 km/h, U will be taken to our police station
If U drive 100 km/h, U will be taken to our hospital
If U drive 140 km/h, U will be taken to our graveyard"
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...............†.............
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Legolust
Adventuring Hero
Aurora Australis
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posted February 08, 2002 11:29 PM |
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difference between the thinking of programmers and blondes
programmer1: hey i met this great blonde
programmer2: and and??!
p1: and i took het to my place
p2: and and!!!??
p1: and i took her panties!
p2: AAND AAND!!!!!!!!?
p1: and i set her on the keyboard of my pc!
p2: oh, what configuration do you have
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blonde1: i met a real programmer today
blonde2: and and!?
b1:and he took me to his place!
b2: annd and!!?
b1: and he set me on his computer!
b2: and??!
b1:and he took off my panties!
b2: you ware panties ??!
 nice joke eh?!
PS lith if you see this, send me the avatar already, and im away from home for a week.
PPS no im not playing heroes again, i just stopped by.
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Gnolly-guy
Adventuring Hero
Storm Gnoll
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posted February 09, 2002 02:55 AM |
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Okay.....Why did the aerobics instructer cross the road?Beacause someone on yhe other side could walk!
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I am back with a new & more incredible power as the storm gnoll-Sta-Puff, the marshmallow man!
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malkia
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted February 09, 2002 03:25 AM |
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why the programmers when go to bed take two glasses - one full - the other empty?
So that when they are thirsty for water to use the fulled one, and when not the empty one.
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it's all stupid u know
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question: like how many programmers are needed to change a lightbulb?
answer: NONE - programmers don't deal with hardware.
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Fantusta
Known Hero
who wishes he was high
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posted February 09, 2002 05:35 AM |
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There were two muffins in an oven.
Muffin1: Geez, it's hot in here.
Muffin2: OH MY GOD, A TALKING MUFFIN!
or...
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels?
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Okay, I'll be quiet now.
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You're unique, just like everyone else. I'm just better.
I'm challenging preconcieved notions you haven't even thought up yet!
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted February 09, 2002 10:17 AM |
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I will try.
This unknowned warrior was rich & always carried a hugh sack of gold was desperate for aid to rescue his kitten.
In desperation he see's a few goblins sitting & talking.
So the warrior With a trying professional manner asks "may I askj of assistance for your company, I will pay you greatly.
The goblins look at each other then look at the warrior, all of a sudden they started laughing histarically.
"ha ha ha you want us to join a worthless nameless warrior like you ha.
Started walking away waving their hands down like yea right.
The warrior just stared at them dumb founded & cried histerically.
Now that is the geekiest joke lol
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted February 09, 2002 11:11 AM |
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Two men are sitting on a roof bar in new york, on top of a seven storey building.
The 1st man says: The air currents around here are really wierd. If you jump of the roof you fall to the 4th storey then get blown round the building 3 times and then in through a back window.
The 2nd man says: Nah! You're having a laugh... Tenner if you do it
1st man: ok
So the first man jumps off the roof, falls to the 4th storey, then whizzes round the building 3 times and in through the back window!
As the 1st man comes up the stairs, the 2nd man hand him his tenner.
The 2nd man announces: I'm gonna do it
So the 2nd man falls to the fourth storey.... then to the third... and the 2nd.... and the 1st.... untill SPLAT! he's dead on the floor!
The barman of the roof bar turns to the 1st man and says:- That was a reeeeaaaaaallllly nasty joke to play on the poor guy, Superman.
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Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
http://aozos.com/phpBB2/index.php
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Milena
Responsible
Supreme Hero
in supreme disgrace
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posted February 09, 2002 11:54 AM |
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it's a bit of dirty, you know
When women died, they took them in the crossroad to hell and heavens and the angels checked if they were sinful with a spike their pushes between their legs.
One of the women passed; no blood, she went to hell. Then another, then another. Then Maria came. She was tested but she drew blood. Ok, you go to heavens, the angels said "NO!". "You wanna go to hell?" "NO!". "Where do you want to go then?" "On the spike, on the spike" Maria said.
;-)
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 Milena
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